“Hey,” he nods at me. When he smiles, his cheeks produce two sideways dimples. Which in turn makes me want to smile right back.
“Hi, I ah, left my bag and jacket here last night.”
“No worries. Do you still have your token?”
I hand him the little disc and pin, and he takes it from me then turns around to look through the shelving. I like watching him. He’s probably around the same height as me, but his movement is very fluid. It’s almost graceful.
He has light brown hair that’s shaved close to his scalp on one side and flops straight down to the base of his ear on the other side, which really suits his fine features and dark eyes.
“Here you go,” he says handing me my backpack and jacket. “Must have been a fun night last night if you forgot all this.”
I laugh. “It was alright. Thanks Braden.”
“Any time. See you next time you forget your stuff.”
Nodding and smiling, I walk towards the exit and wave goodbye. I overhear Ed on the phone. “Well deal with it!” he says before realising I’m walking toward him. “Listen, I have to go.” He disconnects the call and stuffs the phone into his pocket. “You got everything?”
“Yeah. Thanks for waiting,” I say, as I walk around to the passenger side of the car. “Thanks for this as well Ed. I know we just met. But this is huge.”
He nods, and we get into his car.
“So how long have you on your own?”
“About a year and a half now,” I tell him, explaining briefly that I didn’t get along with my parents, and they kicked me out because of it. I don’t want to tell him the whole story. He still thinks I’m Linda.
“Really? Where have you been staying?”
“Well, first it was friends, then it was wherever I could find, and then with more friends. When I have some money I stay in cheap motels.”
“What about that bruise on your face. Do you want to tell me who hit you?”
“Not really.”
“I wish you would.”
“I’m sorry Ed. I just don’t want to talk about it.”
When we arrive back at his place, Matthew is sitting in front of the television and barely even glances in our direction as we enter. He doesn’t seem very happy to see me. The most he does is look at my backpack and roll his eyes.
I lean toward Ed and whisper. “If this is a problem, I can work something else out.”
“No it’s fine. Isn’t is Matt?”
“Yeah. Whatever.”
I excuse myself and go to shower. I’m thankful that I have somewhere to stay for a while. But I can’t allow myself to get comfortable. I need to view this as a temporary situation. Especially considering that Ed’s house mate seems so unhappy to have me around.
Chapter Nineteen
Today is my birthday. I’m now seventeen. But no one has wished me ‘happy birthday’. No one even knows. My name is currently Linda. Paige is the girl in the mirror. I’m the only one who knows who she is anymore.
I have managed to stay with Ed for a few months now. He’s some sort of engineer in training and works in the city Monday to Friday. He’s gone from about seven-thirty every morning and doesn’t get home until after six every night.
Matthew works for the hospital. He works obscenely long hours and different shifts. For the first month, I barely saw him. He works rotating shifts and is generally, either working or sleeping. Although, some weeks he has a few days off in a row, so we’re in the house together.
Besides talking to him outside the bathroom that first morning, I’ve barely said a word to him. He hardly speaks to me. I feel as though he is either glaring at me or pretending I’m not there. I find him unsettling. I do try to be polite to him and talk to him when I can though, because if I’m going to stay with Ed, I need his friend to like me.
Relationship wise, Ed is as good as it gets. It seems as though he has decided that it’s his mission in life to take care of me. He is kind. He is caring. He is attentive. I couldn’t ask for more in a mate, although it pains me to understand that he cares more for me that I do for him.
He told me once, that he thought he might be falling in love with me. It was not long after we’d had sex, and were laying together afterwards. I didn’t respond. I simply pretended I was asleep and couldn’t hear him – he hasn’t said it again since.
I haven’t told him much about my past, and he doesn’t ask too much. I think he’d rather not know. I think he might be afraid to find out the truth about me.
In the bedroom, things are ok for me. He seems very happy though, which is the most important thing right now.
“Don’t you work?” Matthew asks me as he walks into the lounge room where I’m sitting reading. It almost lunch time and he’s just waking up. His dirty blonde hair is sticking up all over the place, and he’s wearing only a long pair of pale blue pyjama pants that tie with a drawstring and ride low on his hips.
I swallow hard as my eyes travel over his well-defined chest involuntarily. He pauses in front of me, waiting for an answer. My cheeks flame, and I drop my gaze. I feel embarrassed about the thoughts that flash through my mind when I see him half naked. What’s wrong with me? I wonder. How can I be thinking such things?
When I don’t give him an answer, he continues, “If you had a job, it might fix that homeless problem you have. You wouldn’t need to keep sponging off Ed.”
My mouth drops open, and I attempt to figure out a plausible answer. “I…”
He sits down next to me, and I move back slightly, afraid of having him so close.
“Listen, I don’t know what you’ve told him, but I’m not buying it. You’re not being honest.”
“What do you mean?” I ask warily.
“I mean, I watched you at the club that night. You preyed upon him.”
“No… I didn’t. He approached me.”
Matt sits back and laughs to himself. “After you sought him out. I watched you. I watch you now. You’re using him.”
“I’m not using him,” I argue. My voice comes out small, and I’m having trouble maintaining eye contact.
“So you’re in love with him then? You want to build a life with him? Maybe get married – have a couple of kids?”
I drop my face and close my eyes tightly to get some control before boldly saying, “What do you want?”
“The truth.”
“About what?”
“About what you’re doing with my friend.”
We sit and stare at each other for a moment. Me, refusing to answer, and him, refusing to look away. There’s a tension in the air between us, and it’s making me angry. It makes me nervous.
He wins. I’m the first to break the stare.
“I don’t have to listen to this,” I say and stand up, holding my book with the intent to make my way into Ed’s room and lock the door. But, I’m halted when Matt’s hand takes hold of my arm. “Please let go,” I whisper.
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-two.”
“I don’t believe you.”
He stands up behind me. He’s so close. I turn around and look up into his eyes. “I’m twenty-two,” I repeat, my voice a little more convincing this time.
“Why are you afraid of me?”
“I’m not,” I whisper, snatching my hand out of his. Another staring competition ensues. I don’t like this. I turn on my heel and practically sprint for Ed’s room, locking the door behind me. “Shit!” I say to myself, as I slide down to the floor and try to breathe.
My time here is obviously coming to an end, and I need to figure out what to do next.
A soft tap makes its way through the door above me. “Linda? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t.” I say defiantly.
“Will you come out? I just want to talk to you.”
I sit in silence. He did scare me. I’m afraid to spend time with him. Somehow, without even knowing me, he manages to see right through me to find answer
s I don’t want to give.
After a while, I hear him let out his breath and shuffle his feet back from the door. “I’m sorry ok. You don’t have to hide.”
As I hear him retreat down the hall, I stand again and open the door slightly, peering through the gap with one eye. He pauses and looks back at me. His expression affects me, and my chest tightens. He really does look concerned and sorry. This is so confusing.
“Why don’t you like me?” I ask him through the gap in the door.
“I do like you. I like you a lot actually.”
“But you don’t trust me?”
“I don’t know you well enough to trust you.”
“But you think I’m lying to Ed.”
“I do.”
“What have you said to him?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you going to?”
“No.”
I have so many more questions but instead of asking them, I close the door again and lock it. Then I stay in there, pretending not to listen to Matthew moving around the house all day while I wait for Ed to return.
Chapter Twenty
I contemplate telling Ed the truth about who I am and the whole story about my life so far, but he seems happy the way we are and I feel like if I tell him, I’ll lose his trust and he’ll kick me out.
I do my best to avoid Matthew. His roster is pinned against the refrigerator door, so I can make sure I’m out when I know he’s planning to be home.
I can’t do much because I don’t have much money, and I hate asking Ed to give me some. So I spend a lot of time at the local library. I’ve even got a library card now by using Linda’s ID, so I can take books back home with me, it keeps me busy and out of the way.
“What are you reading?” a soft voice asks from behind me. I almost jump out of my seat. I expected that I was alone.
My hand flies up in an attempt to still the thudding of my chest. “I thought you were at work,” I tell Matthew, who has appeared in the doorway in his trademark sleepwear. He’s leaning against the doorframe, and I wonder how long he’s been there, watching me.
“I pulled a double shift and swapped with someone,” he explains. “Why? You trying to avoid me?”
“I’ll um… go and read in the bedroom,” I say instead of answering, as I rise from the couch.
“You don’t have to. Please don’t hide from me.”
I stop where I am and turn toward him. “You ask too many questions.”
“I just want to get to know you. We live in the same house, and I don’t know much about you.”
“Matthew, every interaction we’ve had has been very tense. I understand that you may not want me around, but Ed does. So I’m staying. Ok.”
“I understand that. But you keep avoiding me and never answer any of my questions.”
“That’s because you ask the wrong ones.”
“But they’re important. Will you answer just one?” He moves closer to me, and I feel mesmerised by his eyes.
“Just one,” I whisper, giving in to him.
“What’s your name?”
“What?” I frown.
“I want to know your name.”
“It’s Linda. You know that.”
“No. It’s not,” he says, moving closer to me. “When I first met you, you hesitated before telling me your name. I know it’s not Linda. Just like I know you aren’t twenty two.”
Tears prick behind my eyes. “Why are you doing this?”
He steps even closer. So close that I can feel his warm breath on my face. “Because. I have to know,” he whispers, a slight frown creasing his brow as he lifts his hand to move my hair back. “Just like I have to know why your face was bruised.” His deep blue eyes move side to side as he searches my face for answers. “Tell me your name,” he whispers. His eyes demand an answer from me and I feel like I’m trapped.
“Paige. My name is Paige,” I breathe out, squeezing my eyes shut so I can’t see his anymore.
He rests his forehead against mine and lets out his breath. “Thank you.”
When he moves back, I’m shaking, and confused. This man is so intense that it’s scary. How can he act like he doesn’t even like me one minute, but when we’re alone it’s like he’s trying to get to know my soul, just by staring at me?
He leaves me standing in the lounge room and disappears into the kitchen. I blink rapidly, trying to stop myself from crying. The interaction has rattled me.
I rush down the hall toward the bedroom and start to pack my things. I obviously need to get out of here.
The benefit of not owning much is that it doesn’t take me long. I walk quickly and quietly down the hall and head for the front door.
“What are you doing?” Matthew asks from behind me.
“I can’t stay here anymore. Tell Ed I’m sorry ok.” I put my hand on the door knob and start to open the door, but he rushes me and pushes it shut.
“Paige. I don’t want you to go.”
I lean my head forward and press my forehead against the door. The sound of my real name, after months of pretending to be someone else affects me. Tears spring from my eyes, and I drop my bag before turning to face him.
“Please stop!” I cry. “I don’t know what’s going on right now. You’re confusing the hell out of me.” He stands so close to me that it fogs my mind. “Just stop. I can’t breathe around you!”
I place my hands on his chest and push, but he doesn’t budge. Instead he places his hands either side of me so I’m trapped against the door.
We’re breathing heavy, and we haven’t done anything except stare and be near each other.
One of his hands moves and takes me by the base of my skull, bringing my face closer to his. The moment our mouths connect every orgasm I’ve missed out on with Ed starts to bubble to the surface, and I’m suddenly desperate.
I wrap my arms tightly around him as he pulls my body up against his and slides his hands underneath my shirt, so he’s touching the skin on my back.
I let go and remove my shirt hurriedly; I want to have my skin pressed against his. I want to feel every inch of him.
The moment my shirt is over my head, he releases the clasp on my bra. I fling it off my arms, moaning when I feel his warm hard chest against mine.
“Oh Paige. I want you,” he whispers, cupping my breast with his hand and kissing my neck.
A slight whimper escapes my lips at the sound of my name. My name. Just the simple sound of me, makes me want him even more. My fingers thread through his hair as I pull him toward me. The attraction between us seems palpable in the air around us.
Attempting to move toward his room, we don’t make it far, as our impatience gets the better of us, and we’re against the wall. With one hand holding my head steady, as his mouth moves with mine in a heavy, devouring movement, he slides his other hand purposefully down, over my breasts and stomach until he reaches the waistband of my pants.
His breathing quickens as I gasp in anticipation when he pops the top button of my jeans. The zip slides down easily, and I rock my hips forward as he hand travels south.
The moment his finger slips underneath my panties and between my folds, my knees almost buckle. “Oh!” I moan into his mouth as his fingers move over my throbbing clit then push into my depths. “Oh!” I call out again, shaking in his arms. I’m about to burst.
He pushes more of his hand inside me, filling me with his fingers and pulsing in and out. In time with my rocking hips.
Again, I call out, tilting my head back and breaking our kiss. I’m lost in the ecstasy of his touch and can’t seem to function beyond staying upright.
As his hand moves, pushing his finger into my core, the heel of his palm presses firmly against my clit. My fingers clench in his hair as I hold tightly to him, my orgasm bursting out of me as I cling to him, moaning loudly as my eyes roll back and my body shudders against his.
He crashes his mouth against mine with a guttural moan as he slows down his movement and
brings me back to earth.
“God, you’re beautiful when you come,” he growls, kissing me softly, sucking gently on my lips.
His kisses travel down, pausing slightly at my breasts as he swirls his tongue around my nipple and removes his hand from my pants. Gently, he drags my jeans and panties down my legs, lowering himself to his knees as he does so.
I feel his breath, hot on my mound, as he slides his tongue between my folds. “And you taste good too,” he moans.
The moment his tongue flicks over my engorged nub, my hips jolt forward, causing him to look up at me and grin wickedly.
Quickly, he stands up, sliding his hands under my buttocks and lifting me against him. He looks into my eyes for a moment, and I feel like he and I are the only two people in the world.
When his lips reconnect with mine, I’m sure we are. Because this feels otherworldly to me. I’ve never felt this much passion in a man’s arms before.
Carrying me to his room, he drops me on the bed, raking his fingers down my body, sending erotic shivers racing over my skin, as he stands to remove his pants.
Climbing between my legs, he sits back on his knees and reaches into his drawer to get a condom. Once applying it, he grabs my thighs and pulls my legs either side of him.
My hips jolt as he uses his tip to slide around my opening and up over my clit to distribute my juices.
I’m so keyed up that I feel like I might burst again already. Grabbing my hips, he pushes his formidable length inside me. I gasp out at the size of him and grab at his arms - needing something to cling to.
He pumps his hips back and forth as I call out from the pleasure of it, my orgasm builds and builds, and I moan, louder and louder.
“Oh Paige!” he yells, slamming his length into me, over and over again.
The pressure inside me builds along with his thrusts, until it bursts out, sending my hips jolting and my mind soaring. “Oh!” I yell, my nails digging into his arms.
His thrusts become firmer, as he pushes his length in as far as it can go. With one last pump, he shudders against me before leaning forward and kissing me again.
Phoenix: The Beauty in Between (A Beautiful Series Companion Novel) Page 9