by Stacey Lynn
I stopped, wiping my cheeks again, and inhaled a shaky breath.
“But I’ve also mourned him. I’ve buried him and I’ve let him go as much as I can. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t—and won’t always—be someone I love, but it means I know I’ll be able to love again. Not the same way, but it’ll be different, and it will be just as important to me as my love for Scratch.”
When I pulled my eyes to Jaden, his sorrow matched mine—that love for his brother that I knew he still felt deep in bones—and I finally realized his struggle.
Screwing his dead brother’s girlfriend carried the same weight—the same questions—as it did for me to be sleeping with Jaden… to be falling for him.
He blinked, shook his head, and swayed on his feet.
I stepped toward him, put my hands on his shoulders, and pushed him to the bed. His knees hit the mattress and he sat down, whiskey bottle still enclosed in his tightened fist.
“I used to see him,” I admitted slowly, “when I showed up here and first saw you. Hell, for the last few months I saw him when I saw you. And it killed me, catching glances of you hating me while you looked so much like him.”
A muscle in his jaw jumped and he opened his mouth—probably to say something that would make him an absolute asshole. I covered his mouth with my hand.
“Shut up and let me finish.”
He murmured something indecipherable beneath my hand but nodded.
“You’re different than him. You’re angrier and you’re stronger and you carry a darkness inside you that Scratch didn’t have. But when I’m with you, all I see is you.”
Slowly, I let go of his mouth and dropped to my knees in front of him.
His eyes widened and his jaw went slack when my fingers dug into his towel.
“You don’t—” he started to protest, but I reached into the towel and wrapped my hand around his thick erection. “Fuck.”
“Not yet,” I whispered, smiling up at him. A growl escaped the back of his throat as my hand firmly ran from base to tip, my thumb slowly wiping across his piercing. His thigh tensed beneath my other hand, the coarse hair on his legs tickling my palm. “I don’t know what’s started between us. I don’t even know if I’m something besides someone to fuck to you, but don’t let Rob’s lies and bullshit ruin it.”
I pleaded with him with eyes wide open as I bent down and ran my tongue along his cock, so thick, and warm, salty mixed with the smell of his soap. The metal piercing hitting the top of my mouth and the back of my throat sent a shiver of excitement through me.
“Fuck, Jules,” he growled. He dropped the whiskey on the floor, and his hands went to my hair. The bottle clunked and rolled until the top of the bottle hit my knee. The warm liquid spread on the floor and around my knees, making me wet and sticky as I took his dick into my mouth as far as I could. Slowly. I pulled back, my hand continuing to glide up and down his cock.
He was beautiful. His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed on me as if he didn’t know what in the hell I was doing—or why I was doing it.
“I only see you,” I repeated.
His tortured expression told me he needed to hear it. I didn’t give him time to reply before I leaned down and ran my tongue down his cock, and then gently sucked one of his balls into my mouth.
“Oh, fuck,” he groaned. His hands tangled in my hair and held me in place. I shook my head, signaling for him to ease up. Surprisingly, he did, letting me have control. My tongue licked all over his balls, gently sucking and licking the sensitive skin before I trailed along a vein on the bottom of his cock. I ran my tongue up to the tip, sucking it into my mouth, my tongue playing with his piercing.
His hips rocked toward my mouth and his pleasured curses and groans filled my ears before I took him deep, as far as I could without gagging.
“Jesus you’re good at this,” he moaned, his hands pulled my hair.
I wrapped one hand around the base of his dick, pumping in time with my mouth as I continued playing with the tip of his dick, gently pulling on his apa and loving the way he moaned my name—or a stuttered variation of it. ShitJules, FuckJules, ShitfuckhellJules, all rolled off his tongue repeatedly.
Every desperate moan increased the moisture and the need between my legs until his cock swelled inside my mouth. My other hand moved to his balls, and I squeezed gently.
His hips bucked off the bed as he screamed, “Fuck!”
And I smiled, loving that I was driving him crazy, and at the same time driving myself to the edge.
My hand fell from his balls. I pumped his dick with my hand and my mouth, and my other hand went down my shorts.
I flicked my own clit in time to the way I fucked his dick with my mouth.
“Shit, Jules, I gotta see this,”
I shook my head. Not moving, too close to my own orgasm.
My hips rocked frantically as Jaden brushed hair out of my face. I stared up at him, his drunken, half-lidded eyes watched my hand and my mouth.
“Gonna come,” he growled. His thighs tightened at the same time he gripped my hair. My own thighs began to shake.
It was so hot, getting myself off with Jaden watching, his dick in my mouth.
His hips rocked. I groaned right as my own body began releasing an orgasm that left my thighs trembling.
I moaned around his dick and he was gone.
He cursed and pulled me closer, until my nose was at the base of his cock as hot streams spurted into my mouth. I swallowed his thick, salty cum until he stopped pulsing in my mouth and my own orgasm had subsided.
He reached down, grabbed my wrist, and brought my wet fingers to his mouth, sucking my own taste off my fingers.
“That was incredible, and you taste even better.”
He sounded sleepy and I grinned, bracing myself on his knees to stand up.
“Trust me,” I smiled. “It was my pleasure.” With my thumb and index finger, I wiped off the remaining taste of him from around my lips.
He tilted his head back and I inhaled sharply, getting lost in dark brown eyes that seemed to say so much more than I thought Jaden might ever be able to say out loud.
He exhaled and his forehead dropped to my stomach. His arms wrapped around my waist.
I waited. Gave him time to slow his breathing. Then he mumbled, slightly slurred, “That asshole fucked with my head. Made me think of Scratch, and all of this shit is such a mess in my head… wanting my brother’s girl… his fuckin’ kid. Fuckin’ hell, I’m a mess.”
I tried for playfulness, pushing him off my stomach, and he fell back to the bed. But in truth, his admission of wanting not only me—but Sophie, too—meant he wanted me for more than just sex. He wanted me and Sophie.
“You’re drunk and won’t remember this shit in the morning,” I grinned, shoving his knee with mine as I fixed my shorts and ran my fingers through my hair. “And I need to get Sophie home to bed.”
“Stay here.”
A lascivious need pulsed from my heart and spread throughout my veins. His eyes were closed, his head tilted to the side, and he looked like he was seconds from passing out. But still, I relished his request, even if I couldn’t say yes.
“Sophie needs her bed, and you’re going to pass out.”
I moved, but his warm hand clasped onto my wrist and held me in place. His other hand went to his face, his fingers rubbing his eyes, but they never opened.
“You’re more than a fuck, Jules. Fuck… so much more than that to me. Always have been.”
I inhaled a sharp breath but he didn’t move after that. It was possibly the most romantic thing he could say to me. Jaden wasn’t hearts and flowers, he was straight up—always telling you exactly what was on his mind. His words wrapped around my heart, and I knew in that moment, I was irrevocably chained to him—in lust or in love, I was yet to figure that out.
I couldn’t resist him. Leaning down, I brushed my lips against his and then unpeeled his fingers from my skin.
“Good to know,” I rep
lied, but I said it too softly and he was already snoring.
For a moment, I thought about trying to shift him onto his bed, but I chose not to. A part of me wanted him to wake up, feet resting on the floor, completely naked, and have his first memory be of the way I had sucked him off.
I closed his door behind me, grabbed Sophie from the pool table, and left the clubhouse with a smile on face that didn’t disappear until sleep finally took me an hour later.
Light movement brushed my arms, tickling the sensitive skin at the crook of my elbow, and I shivered. With my eyes closed, I brushed my arm and tried to burrow deeper into my comforter.
“Go back to sleep, Sophie,” I muttered, my voice thick from sleep.
It was too early.
I groaned when hot breath hit my ear.
“Not Sophie, babe.”
My eyes jerked open and I gasped. Jaden knelt on the bed, mostly covering me. His morning scruff scraped across my cheek. I quickly registered that he was completely naked. And hard.
“Oh my God,” I rasped, my heart pounding in my ears. “Quit scaring me.”
“I woke up naked on top of my bed at the club house with only a vague memory of you sucking me off so hard last night, my brain almost exploded.”
Fire flashed on my cheeks. I tried to turn away, but Jaden’s warm hand cupped my cheek and held me inches from him.
“You were pretty drunk.” My throat bobbed with a thick swallow when I couldn’t place his burning look. “Perhaps your memory is skewed.”
He shook his head, then dropped it to the crook of my neck and sucked.
My eyes rolled back into my head. “Oh shit, that always feels so good.”
“I know.” He raised his head, a slight smirk on his lips. “And you taste fucking phenomenal.”
“Why are you here?”
Jaden looked down at his erection, bobbing between us, and back at me with one eyebrow raised.
“Sex.” I swallowed a lump of disappointment. It didn’t surprise me: we’d been having it a lot. Yet somehow, I had come home from the club the night before imagining something had changed between us. That we’d gotten past the hurdle of Scratch between us and become more.
Or I was just really good at blowjobs and Jaden wanted one he could remember without half of a bottle of whiskey sloshing in his stomach.
I blinked, trying to keep the disappointment at bay, when Jaden began removing my shirt and my shorts. I let him, although my heart started beating faster—faster for something more than a quick morning lay before the sun rose and life began.
Jaden surprised me when he rolled off me. One leg thrown over me, and an arm over my waist, he tugged me to him so I was almost laying on my side, but pinned under the weight of his leg and arm.
“I wasn’t so drunk last night that I don’t remember everything,” he started, an odd, serious expression on his face that made me take notice. “And I’m pretty sure the last thing I said to you was that you were never just a fuck to me.”
“You did.” I nodded, chewed on my bottom lip.
He reached out and pulled my bottom lip out with his thumb. Slowly, his callused thumb swiped across my lips. I opened them, nipping the pad of his thumb.
His hips shifted into me, pressing his erection against my thigh.
Jaden grinned and then it disappeared. “Need to talk to you.”
“Okay.” My pulse increased. Nothing good ever came from a sentence that started with that need.
Jaden’s eyes danced between my own and I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he took a minute. A minute for what, I didn’t know, but he seemed to need the time to compose himself so I gave it to him, all while my pulse began thundering like I was at the horse track.
“I’m a dick,” he started, hesitation clear in his voice.
I licked my lips but stayed silent.
“Always have been, always will be. I’m not going to apologize for the shit in the past, because I figure we both made choices with Scratch we wish we could do different, but I figure nothin’ can be done about that and it’s time to put that shit to rest.”
His eyes raked down my body. His fingers tightened on my waist before he raised his eyes, staring at my mouth.
“Woke up this morning, thinking of yesterday and last night, pissed about that asshole and bunch of other shit. But mostly I was pissed you weren’t next to me.”
My eyes widened in shock. I cleared my throat. “Why?”
He shook his head. “Can’t explain it fully, just that shit’s better when I wake up next to you. I’m not as pissed when I wake up curled next to your body.”
It wasn’t much. But for Jaden, it was everything. My heart began thundering against my rib cage. “What are you saying, Jaden?”
He rolled his lips, as if searching for the right words. His hand on my waist came up and smoothed back the hair from my face. The move was so gentle… so calming and yet strong… so not like Jaden. I couldn’t help but smile when he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine before leaning back.
“Saying I like this shit that we’ve got going on right now. I like being in your bed, waking up and having coffee with Sophie. I like knowing you two are safe. Mostly I like the way you scream my name when I’m deep inside you and your pussy is clamping around my dick so hard I think you’re going snap it off.”
I coughed over the harshness of his words, all while moisture flooded my panties. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“It’s fucking magnificent.” His hand on my hair moved back around to my neck, tugging me backward so my neck was completely exposed to him. “You’re always so tight wrapped around me. I can’t stop thinking about you. Wanting you. Needing…”
His voice trailed off as he began sucking and licking my skin, peppering the column of my throat down to my collarbone with sweet brushes of his lips. My hips shifted, the center of my thighs needing release from the pressure building.
“Jaden,” I rasped out, my throat not working while he continued slowly driving me crazy. “I don’t know what this means.”
Although I did. I just needed him to say. I needed to hear it.
“It means…” He pulled back, intensity in his darkened brown eyes that left me struggling to breathe and see straight. “That you’re mine.”
I lost the ability to think after that. Or answer him.
Because Jaden quickly went to work proving exactly what that meant to him.
And two painfully silent orgasms later, he left me to clean up and shower for work while he made coffee.
I entered the kitchen dressed for another day at the salon, and the day looked exactly like it had the day before: Sophie watching her cartoons, Jaden fixing breakfast at the kitchen counter, full mug of coffee on the counter waiting for me.
It was so domestic.
So similar to twenty-four hours ago, but based on the way Jaden’s eyes stayed glued to mine, a brightness in them that I’d never seen in him, I knew everything had changed.
I was completely, irrevocably, his.
“Faith and Liv and I are going out for dinner and drinks tonight. My mom has Sophie for a few hours. Liv said she’d drop Sophie off sometime this afternoon if you’re still taking her to the clubhouse,” I told him, taking my first sip of coffee.
I stood behind him, watched as the muscles in his back tensed and rippled with a small hitch before he glanced at me over his shoulder.
“Men are still on you.”
My nose twitched with annoyance, but I stayed silent.
“And yeah, I’m taking Sophie to the club.”
“All right then.” I turned, poured the rest of the coffee into a to-go mug, and pressed my lips to his rough cheek. “Have a good day.”
I’d leaned back to grab my keys when his arm came out, snagged my waist, and pulled me back to him.
His lips covered mine, quickly and fiercely, and I gasped, opening my mouth to him instantly. He devoured me with his tongue and the taste of him. And when he pulled awa
y, I was grasping for breath. “Mine,” he growled. “On my bike. You might have men on you, watching you, but don’t forget that.”
On his bike. Hell, I knew what that meant. Yet still, hearing the words made my pulse begin to race.
“I don’t particularly like bikes anymore,” I whispered. He wasn’t talking about his bike, literally. I knew what that mean to bikers, to have their women on their bikes. But besides the couple of times I’d needed to take a ride from him, the very idea still terrified me.
His hand on my waist moved until it was at the back of my neck. He dropped his forehead to mine and let out a harsh breath.
“You’ll get over it.” He pulled me back, our eyes inches from each other. In the silence, I knew exactly what he was saying. “I had to, too.”
Vulnerability flashed in his eyes and they darkened to black before he blinked it away.
But it was that one glimpse, seeing it, that almost had my heart dropping to the floor and tears stinging his eyes. He’d never shown me his pain about Scratch, always been so quick to toss it all into my lap.
This was different: this was Jaden lowering his guard, and I wanted to wrap myself around him with my legs and my arms and comfort him, knowing no one had been there to do it for him.
Instead I nodded, and forced my lips into a small smile. “I’ll try.”
Then I gave him another quick kiss, pressed my lips to Sophie’s, and headed to work.
Placing my cell phone on the receptionist’s desk at the salon, I felt a wistful smile tug at my lips. It wasn’t easy to turn down a full-time substitute position, thanks to a teacher going on early maternity leave due to pregnancy complications, at the school I’d been dying just weeks ago to get into.
But things had changed. And quickly.
“You okay?” Cammie asked me as she walked up to the counter. “You got the job.”