As she drove she watched for a twenty-four hour diner and found one about fifteen minutes into her drive. She pulled into a parking spot and shut off the car before exiting it and walking into the quiet little diner. She sat in a cracked red booth and smiled at the waitress who brought her a menu. “Morning,” she mumbled.
The waitress seemed to be staring at her face and Grace sighed as she looked through the menu. “Honey, are you okay?” the waitress asked, and Grace smiled tightly.
“For the first time in a long time, yeah. Can I get some coffee and pancakes and bacon, please?” Grace handed her the menu and propped her elbows on the table, resting her chin in her hands. She watched the waitress walk away and then come back with a cup and a carafe of coffee. Once her cup was filled, the waitress put down a bowl of creamers and moved away again. Grace picked up the cup and nursed the warmth between her hands before taking a sip of the acrid brew.
A few moments later the waitress brought her pancakes and bacon and Grace had her cup refilled with coffee. She ate slowly, savoring the butter and maple flavored pancake syrup she had doused her pancakes with and the crisp bacon. When she finished she sipped her coffee and waved the waitress over for her check. She pulled her debit card from her wallet and handed the waitress back the bill. Moments later the waitress returned and Grace wrote in a tip on the receipt and pocketed her debit card before sliding out of the seat and leaving the diner.
She entered the car and started it, continuing her drive back to the college. A few hours later, just as the sun rose, she pulled into the parking lot and pulled her suitcases out of the back of the car and made the trek up to her dorm. Unlocking the door, she entered the room quietly and found Christina sleeping soundly. Closing the door behind her she lowered her suitcases to the floor and kicked her shoes off before crawling up on her bed and pulling out her diary.
Dear Diary,
Too much has happened. I love him, I love Drake. That scares me so much, because I know I can't have him, and I'm stupid for loving him. I know this. I can't stop what my heart is screaming at me. To call him, to find him, to be with him again. But I won't. Because I won't risk his job. I care about him too much. I won't wreck him. All I wanted was home and comfort, maybe help figuring out myself before I came back to school. I thought my mom would understand and would support me, maybe tell me something poetic and beautiful about how it was gonna be okay and would work out if it was meant to. Maybe that love would find a way or something cliché like that. Instead, I have my world shattered further. How could they lie to me my whole life? Were they so embarrassed by my mom that they didn't want me to ever know? How in the hell could they wipe off the face of the Earth the memory of their daughter? Maybe so I wouldn't go down the same path? I think Dad is crazy saying that I'm a whore for having sex one time. Fine, it's fornication, I get it, but I'm supposed to be his daughter, and that love is supposed to be unconditional. I guess I was wrong. I am finding out I was wrong about a lot of things. I don't know what to do anymore. I wanted so badly to be an adult and now I hate every second of it. Can I go back to when life was simple? I want to play with my dolls and sing simple songs and dance in the sunlight and feel free. Not this. No. Not this. Save me from myself.
Grace
She closed the diary and dug through her purse to find her mp3 player and silently put the buds in her ears. The first song that came on was “Figure 8” by Ellie Goulding and she pressed her fist to her mouth as she listened to the lyrics of the song. Her heart broke over and over as the song played out and she turned to curl up on her pillow and sob into the cottony softness.
Music continued to play as she sobbed out her pain and she jumped at a hand on her shoulder. Opening her good eye she looked up to see Christina there. “Hey,” she whispered softly, sitting up and pulling out her ear buds.
“Jesus Christ, what happened to your face?” Grace flinched as Christina brushed a thumb over her swollen cheek.
“It's a long story. I can't go back home anymore.”
“What? Are you fuckin' serious?” Christina sat beside her on the bed and Grace was grateful for the warmth of her friend's hand on her own.
“Yeah. I told you I was adopted, but apparently there's more to the story. My mom was their daughter. They took me in after she died and left everything to raise me as their kid.” Grace sighed and her shoulders bowed under the weight of her misery. “She was a crack head and had gotten mixed up in some bad stuff. I guess they think I'll do the same thing. That they didn't teach me all I should know and that I'm not smart enough to know right from wrong. That my morals are screwed up even though they differ from their precious book.”
“What? Wow...”
“And I realized I love Drake, but I have let him go. He is dead to me. I never want to see him again. Ever.” Grace stared at her friend for a minute and frowned at her silence. “What?”
Christina refused to meet her gaze and Grace wondered why. “Nothing. This is heavy. Are you okay? Who hit you?”
“My dad hit me. He told me I was a whore and wanted me to come home for good, because obviously I can't handle being on my own and I'm turning into my mother. I told him no and I got my car and I just drove. I just, I can't live the rest of my life shoved into their little box. I just can't, Christina. I think I would rather die first. I don't fit into their world. Not anymore. I don't know if I ever did, you know? I crashed at a motel after I left their house. I was so tired I couldn't keep driving. When I woke up I ate and then I drove back here.” Grace rubbed her arm and sighed sadly. “I never saw my dad like that. I mean, he's passionate about his beliefs, but I never thought he would turn on me for something like this.”
* * *
Christina swallowed nervously and squeezed her friend's hand. I shouldn't tell her he was here. I mean, if she's not calling him back, then she doesn't want to talk to him. Right? Right. I will keep him away from her and protect her however I can. The poor kid doesn't deserve this. Her dad really messed her face up. How could someone lie to their kid like that then hit them for exploring their sexuality? God...
She smiled at Grace reassuringly. “It's gonna be okay.” Grace's shoulders seemed to bow in further and finally Grace looked up at her with a solemn expression.
“I don't think it will be. I’m gonna have to find an apartment for the summer and pretend he's not here at Yale with me. Just buildings and doors away. And that I could have him. I could feel the way I felt in his arms again if only I went into his classroom, or called him one more time. Because I can't. The temptation of knowing he's within my reach if all I do is stand on tippy-toes and grasp it is almost too much.”
Christina sucked in a breath and shifted on the bed. “We'll bunk together during the summer or something, yeah? We'll make shit work. We’re friends, till the end, forever and ever, amen. Where you go, I go, all that shit.”
“You mean it?”
Christina found herself nodding and squeezing her best friend's hand. “Of course I do.”
“I don't want to see him,” Grace whispered.
“Then you don't have to. Whatever happened between you guys no one knows about, not even me, and it will stay that way. Just tuck it away as a memory, a lesson, and move on.” Christina watched the emotions playing out on Grace's face and she shook her head sadly. A lot happened between them and Grace is a fucking wreck. Bastard.
“Yeah, you're right. I think I'm going to study and get ready for classes tomorrow, if that's okay?”
Christina hopped off the bed and tried not to be offended at the walls she felt Grace erecting again. “Yeah I'll be over here if you want to talk, or whatever. Just...don't push me away like you did before. I'm here, even as a sounding board.”
“I won't,” Grace's mouth promised, but the haunted look in her eyes told a different story and Christina bent quickly and hugged her friend.
“It's gonna be okay. I don't know how, but it will be,” she promised the shaking girl in her arms and her eyes closed agains
t the tears that threatened to pour down her face as Grace hugged back and sobbed into her shoulder.
“I love him...” Grace wailed and Christina rubbed her back methodically, up and down until the tears subsided.
“Then you gotta let him go. I know you don't want to, but it's for the best. It will keep you and him both safe.”
“I know...”
Chapter Nineteen
Grace woke up the next morning and felt lighter. She pulled her phone from her pocket and turned it on, frowning as she saw hundreds of missed calls, texts, and messages from both Drake and her parents. No thanks, I don't need the emotional baggage right now. Hurrying through a shower, she scrubbed any evidence of the weekend away.
Thoughts of him filled her mind and she slid down to the bottom of the shower where she sobbed into her hands, the water beating down around her mingling with her tears. Dammit! I can't fall apart anymore. She pulled herself up and shivered through the cooling water to rinse herself. Turning the water off, she dried quickly and barely glanced in the mirror long enough to pull her hair into a messy, still-damp bun on top of her head. She poked at the swollen skin of her cheek and groaned. I look like I just went three rounds with a wrestler. I don't even want to go to classes, but I gotta get my grades up. I have to take care of myself.
Slipping into the room she pulled on one of her old polo shirts and her jeans and shoes before picking up her backpack and purse. Leaving the room quickly, she moved to the cafeteria and chose some coffee and a bagel for breakfast. The food stuck in her throat and she couldn't help but notice the tittering and stares from her peers.
What the hell? I mean, I know my face is a wreck, but seriously, people? Get a frickin' grip! Staring down at the history book she had pulled from her backpack, she tried to study and eat, but couldn't focus at all. The words kept blurring together and with a groan of irritation, she slammed the book closed. Gathering up her trash and belongings, she threw the refuse away and left the cafeteria. She ended up being the first student in her first period English class and she buried herself in the written word, ignoring the curious stares, the whispers and pointing.
Her chest tightened up with anxiety and as the professor released the class, she jumped from her seat and ran out of the room. Jogging as quickly as she could down the hallway, she made a beeline for the library, where she would work a three hour shift, then after lunch take her history class. It was paper day and she had to make sure there were plenty of copies on all the tables for anyone who wanted to read them.
Shrugging off her backpack behind the front desk, she logged in and punched her virtual time card before opening the bundles of papers sitting in front of her. Pausing before she pulled the first paper out, she got her mp3 player out and stuck her earbuds in her ears to listen to music. No one came in the library this early, and even if they did, she knew she could pull the buds out and be professional. She needed musical therapy today and she would have it, job or not.
Finally ready to get on with her work, she pulled the first paper out without a glance, and continued to pull the papers free. Once she had an armful, she picked them up and began placing them around on the tables. Stopping at the last table, her eyes widened as she half read the headline. Picking up a copy, her heart thundered in her chest as she truly read the headline.
'STUDENT-TEACHER RELATIONSHIPS: HOW CLOSE IS TOO CLOSE?' Grace fumbled for a chair at the table and she pulled it out with shaking hands and sat down. Pictures from her high school days were splayed across the front and her stomach clenched seeing Drake's picture there too. The tagline read: 'PROFESSOR LURES YOUNG STUDENT INTO SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP' followed by 'Read More on Page 4.'
Flipping the pages, her heart dropped into her stomach as she saw grainy cell phone pictures of them kissing in the drugstore parking lot, walking hand in hand into the hotel, her rushing away with tears in her eyes, and finally Drake standing shirtless in the door of their room. Nausea rushed up her throat and she clapped her hand across her mouth and stood from the table, the chair falling in her haste. She ran for the bathroom. Skidding into the quiet room, she shoved open a stall and fell to her knees, bile spewing between her fingers before she could stop it.
She heaved over the toilet until she felt physically and emotionally empty. Tears rolled down her face and she sobbed out. “No!” Grasping the end of the toilet paper, she pulled out a handful and wiped the muck off her hand and mouth, and fumbled in her pocket for her cell phone. Pressing some buttons, she dialed Christina and prayed silently for her to pick up.
“Grace?” Christina answered, her voice seeming high and panicked.
“Christina, it's in the paper,” she whispered.
“Well, it's worse than that. The dean sent someone for you. You have to go to his office as soon as possible. What the hell happened?”
Grace pulled her knees to her chest and shivered. “We had sex. Someone took pictures of us going into the hotel. I don't know who could've done it.”
“Ah, shit,” Christina mumbled. “Do you want me to come to the office with you?”
“No. I played around like I was an adult, now I have to take whatever comes like an adult,” Grace mumbled. “I'll call you when it's done.”
“Be strong!”
“I'll try.” Grace hung up the phone and leaned her head back against the tile wall. Oh my God, what did we do? After a few moments to pull herself together, she stood from the floor, flushed the toilet and walked back to the sink. Splashing cold water on her face, she cupped her hand and rinsed her mouth out, then washed her hands.
Walking out of the bathroom, she hurried to the front desk, signed out of the computer and placed a Be Back Soon sign on the desk. She grabbed her bags and held her head high as she moved through the hallway to the office. Her peers pointed and stared, while she clenched her teeth. One girl whispered loudly, “That's her, the one who bagged Professor Stone! What the hell did he see in her?”
Grace's nostrils flared and she fought the nausea racing up her throat again. As she came to the office, her hand found the bronze door knob and she let herself inside. The secretary eyed her as she stepped up to the desk. “May I help you?”
“Grace Evans, here to see the dean.”
“Oh! Yes, let me give him a call and I'm sure he'll see you shortly.” The secretary pointed at a chair and Grace walked across the room to sit. She strained to listen to the conversation between the secretary and the dean, but she couldn't hear. Twiddling her thumbs she waited impatiently for them to call her back. The call came moments later from the dean himself.
“Miss Evans?”
Grace gulped as she stood and gathered her things. “Yes?”
“Come on back and let's chat.” Dean Rodgers held the door for her and she stepped into his office. “Please have a seat.”
Grace sat down and placed her bag at her feet. “How can I help you, Dean Rodgers?”
The older man sat behind his wide mahogany desk and rested forward on his elbows. “Grace, there have been accusations of a relationship between you and Professor Stone.”
Grace jumped at the mention of Drake's name and she took a slow breath. “Accusations.”
Dean Rodgers sighed and pulled out a paper. “Tell me about these pictures.”
Grace fought the nausea roiling into her mouth seeing the pictures again. “What about them?”
“Miss Evans, I took you for a smarter girl than this.” He shook his head and sat back in the chair. “This puts the whole school to shame. News reporters are angling for a story, my students are in an uproar, and my teachers are a wreck.”
“I'm sorry,” Grace mumbled. “I don't know what to say.”
“Well, Professor Stone has already told us what occurred.”
Grace gasped and looked up at the older man. “What?”
“Yes, he told me that he coerced you into a relationship.” Grace stared at the man as he leaned forward. “Now tell me your version.”
Grace sobbed and covered her
face with her hands. “No, it wasn't like that at all. Drake would never take advantage of me. Of anyone! I convinced him we should be together and I convinced him to take me away and for our relationship to progress. It was only going to be one time. Only one time and we would walk away and pretend nothing happened. I never wanted this to happen. Never. We knew he could get in trouble, but I thought no one would know if we were careful. It was just one time. I don't understand who took these pictures or why they would go out of their way to hurt us, but I'm an adult.”
“Hmm. I see. Unfortunately, rules are still rules. You're still a young woman with a lot of growing up to do.” Dean Rodgers scribbled notes on a piece of paper. “I think that's all we need, Grace. You may return to your studies. If we need more we will let you know. I do ask, however, that you refrain from speaking with the media, and we just let this blow over.”
“What happened to Drake?” Grace whispered, reaching her hand across the table, pleading with the Dean for him to answer.
“When I speak with Professor Stone we will compare your stories and go from there. You may leave. ” Dean Rodgers pointed at the door and Grace stood shakily and picked up her bags.
“Wait...when you speak to him? You lied to me!”
“An omission of the truth, Miss Evans. Now, if you will excuse me?” He picked up his phone and pointed again at the door.
“How-how dare you!” Grace shrieked. “You tricked me!”
“No, Miss Evans, I used tactics invented by law enforcement to get you to tell the truth. Go back to your studies.”
Grace stumbled out of the office and back into the hallway, tears blurring her vision. She bumped into someone and garbled out, “Sorry,” before continuing on. She made it back to her dorm and unlocked the door. Her sobs grew louder as she closed the door.
Saving Grace (Wild Rose Book 1) Page 13