by May Dawson
Two Kinds of Damned
May Dawson
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
An excerpt from Three Kinds of Lost
A Note From May
About the Author
Also by May Dawson
Chapter 1
Airren
Mycroft glances past me into my room. “Where’s the girl?” Even by Mycroft’s standards, he’s brusque.
I push the door wider for him and take a step back, inviting him in. “The girl? Tera?”
There’s a whistling sound in the bathroom as hot water fills the pipes, followed by the distinct loud metallic rattle—as if a pipe was about to burst out of the wall—that always precedes the spray. Then the sound of water beating steadily against the tile fills the room, and Mycroft’s broad shoulders ease.
So, Mycroft, the fearless warrior and great wizard, is scared of petite Tera Donovan. Fascinating. I head for the files on my desk, which hides my smile from him.
“When’s she moving back to her room? It should be safe enough now.” Mycroft’s voice is a rough grumble, as if he’s noticed my amusement.
“I don’t think it is.” When my face is schooled to neutral, I look his way.
His expression is as stony as usual, but I learned during our years serving together to read the small tightenings of his mouth and eyes, or the way he makes himself guardedly blank instead of just habitually stoic.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Radner wants to see us all. Briefing at oh-eight-hundred.”
“Why?” I know damn well it’s most likely phase two of our mission, but that thought sweeps restless anxiety through me. I perch on the edge of my desk and reach for my wand to busy my hands.
“She’s not in the habit of explaining herself to me.”
Something in his tone sounds like an attack on Radner. I know she makes herself hard to like, but I can’t hear someone criticize her without my ears ringing faintly.
That faint buzz is an echo of the day I came to know her, one of the few memories of the war that wakes me up at night. I was deaf after the bomb blast in Terek, except for a high steady ringing, a maddening sound that blocked out everything else.
Radner knelt next to me, shoving her weight into the beam that pinned me. I hadn’t been able to hear myself screaming, but my throat was raw. Once she freed me, she sank her fingers into my bloody shoulder and healed me. Radner pulled me up. She says now that she saw the seeds of a leader in the stupid young gun I was at the time. I ran with her into the shattered remnants of an orphanage, where we sorted through rubble until we found the gray, still faces of children. Some of them, we’d even been able to bring back to life.
I run my fingers through my hair to push it back from my forehead. “She doesn’t have to explain herself to you.”
“Oh, I’m aware.” Mycroft certainly tried for an explanation, judging from that acerbic tone of his.
There's something else bothering him—something beside the difficulty of being both a young officer and a genius with the relentlessly long chain of command above him—but I already know it won’t help if I ask again. I knew better than to ask the first time.
I move to the bathroom door and push it open, glancing through the curls of steam to check if Tera really is in the shower and not eavesdropping. I wouldn’t hold it against her. We’re keeping secrets. Tera is too smart for that, and I don’t like our odds those secrets will hold long. But the consequences are dire if she figures out our lies.
If she fails the Crown, at best, she’ll find herself banished Earthside once again. Since she could be useful to the True, I fear the Crown would have a worse fate for her. The prince has intervened before to save her, but his father would just as soon see Tera dumped back through a portal to dirtside…with her throat slit. The sudden image of Tera with a red smile across her long, white throat makes my stomach tighten. I’ll do anything to protect her.
Even though she might hate me for it, if she knew.
Along with the hot, humid air from the shower, I breathe in the creamy strawberry scent of her shampoo. My nostrils flare. I’ve taken to showering after her, because the soap-and-shampoo scent is so intense right after she showers. I like how her hair carries that sweet scent in its glossy caramel strands. I could lose myself in it.
The important thing is, she isn’t listening.
I cross to Mycroft and say softly, “Radner will want us to move to stage two.”
“Stage two should be bringing Tera on board,” Mycroft says. “We’re playing with fire right now. When she finds out…”
“She’ll get over it.” My tone is a hell of a lot more certain than I feel. “We don’t know her that well yet. We still have to assess her loyalty.”
We’re tasked to protect the country from her and the True. But more than that, we have to protect her from country and Crown.
“She jumped out of a building when I said go.” Mycroft’s jaw tightens. “I think we can gauge her loyalty.”
“She didn’t have a choice.” I don’t like remembering that night.
I’d slammed myself into that door to break it down while Tera was trapped in the tech lab with a human bomb. Mycroft and I coordinated by bubble, strategizing to get her out safely. When we knew I couldn’t breech the room in time, I’d sent my wand smashing through the window to clear the way ahead of Tera’s desperate jump. The emotion of the night only hit me when I saw Mycroft holding her against him, her slender legs draped over his arm. Her eyes had been wide as a doe’s by then, but she’d been fearless when we needed her to be.
I have my own instincts when it comes to Tera. There’s a deep goodness in her, something innocent and fierce all at once. She doesn’t belong to the True.
I don’t think she belongs to the Crown, either, though. And that’s a problem.
“She’ll understand,” I say again.
Mycroft throws me a pitying look. “I don’t think you know as much as you think about women.”
“I have three sisters.”
“Who don’t talk to you.”
“We talk,” I say. “It’s just hard. They’re all the way in Vasilik—”
Mycroft grunts. He doesn’t actually give a damn about my sisters. Or my excuses.
The shower cuts off. I glance toward the door, then at Mycroft, who has moved to the sideboard under the window. He hovers his palm over my silver metal coffee pot. Mycroft has a lot of uses, and one of them is making the perfect cup of coffee. I don’t think I’m the one he cares about caffeinating, though.
Over the last two weeks, Tera has gone from sleeping in his and Cax’s room to sleeping in mine. It happened naturally enough—I like having her here—but something about it bothers me, even though she hasn’t said anything about the change.
Mycroft’s eyes are fixed stonil
y on the coffee pot. It makes me want to reach out and smack him. If his grouchy personality pushes Tera away from us, it could push her into danger. I can’t ask him what the hell he did to Tera now, but we’re going to talk about it later.
The order to bring her home came from the top, and those same folks could find her more trouble than she’s worth. What my intuition tells me doesn’t matter much if someone decides to throw her back through a portal, or worse. We can’t expect to have any allies if that happens. Most people have little sympathy to spare for a Donovan.
We can’t let that happen to her. She’s our mission. And sometimes, it seems like maybe she’s our girl.
When she sticks her head out the door, with a wide grin across her face, my heart rises. Her hair is dark brown when it’s wet, twisted into one thick ribbon to one side, and droplets trickle down her exposed skin. One slender hand holds her towel in place with a twisted knot, so only a sliver of the curve of her breast is exposed, but it’s enough to slide my imagination into overdrive. I’m suddenly uncomfortably hard, and I wander back toward the window for no good reason. I’m pretty sure everyone in the room knows how little I care about the scenery.
“I thought I heard you,” she says cheerfully to Mycroft.
Mycroft grunts in response.
I used to think he was a great spy, but today, I’m not so sure. Maybe Tera doesn’t bring out our professionalism. I’m currently trying to hide the mass straining uncomfortably against the front of my trousers, so I certainly don’t feel all that professional.
I’ve never wanted to kiss my mission before. Although I had to seduce a target once, I felt nothing for that woman, no matter how charming I pretended to be. This is new territory.
“Radner wants to see us,” I say to the chipped white radiator in the corner.
“Great. And today started off so well.”
“Want coffee?” Mycroft’s already pouring a cup. The scent of fresh coffee rises in the air.
I glance back over my shoulder as she anchors the towel firmly with one hand—damn—and reaches to take the mug. She handles the hot white cup gingerly, by the rim.
When she takes a sip, she winces. “I like it better when Stelly brings me coffee. She brings me sugary lattes. You give me nothing but bitterness.”
Stelly also brings her compliments—Stelly is certainly effusive—and Mycroft has nothing to offer but grunts. I have a feeling that may be what she’s really getting at.
“Black coffee is good for you.” Mycroft pours a second cup and takes a long sip, his hand still lingering on the top of the coffee pot, as if he’s willing to fight me over the dispensation of caffeine in my own room.
“A little sugar never hurt anyone,” she says.
The double entendres are so strong in the room that I’m embarrassed for both of them.
“Sugar is poison,” Mycroft says.
She rolls her eyes, then drops the pretense, crossing to the laundry basket nestled next to my dresser. Her clothes are clean and folded. I’m not quite ready to clean out a drawer for her, but every time she goes down the hall to get something from her own room, I worry she won’t come back.
“Well, you could use some sweetening, Mycroft.” She drops the pretense, then with her back to both of us, she drops the towel.
Mycroft chokes on his coffee, sputtering helplessly for a second.
Tera is nothing if not unpredictable. A bead of water trickles down her spine toward her narrow waist. Too many knobs are visible. I’ll make sure she eats more. Her hips and ass are surprisingly full for such a tiny thing, though, and I long to trace my palm over those curves. She shoves that ass against my hips every night when she sleeps, her head nestled on my shoulder, her hair tickling my jaw.
She’s matter-of-fact as she leans over, pulling on her jeans, as if she isn’t tormenting us both on purpose.
“What goes on in your head?” Mycroft’s voice is a low grumble. He finally looks away with visible effort.
“What goes on in yours?” She turns, shrugging a lacy white bra on. Her breasts are small, with perfect raspberry nipples, and she clasps the bra, drawing her breasts up and together, creating the faintest dimple of cleavage between them.
If Mycroft is anything like me, the only thing going on in his head right now is: Mine. She’s mine.
He sets his coffee mug on the desk with a clink. “Are you ready to go see Radner?”
“No,” she admits. Then she gives him a once-over, her eyes sweeping slowly over his body, before she moves to me. A mischievous smile arches her lips. “But neither are you.”
I shake my head. “You really are evil.”
Someone shoulders open the door and comes in. I take a step forward, ready for a fight, before I recognize Cax’s broad-shouldered, lanky body and flop of blond hair.
Tera gives me a questioning look. I nod, pretending that didn’t just happen, pretending she didn’t notice.
“Good morning,” Cax says cheerfully, and then his eyes widen. He glances from half-naked Tera to Mycroft, then to me. “Well. If I interrupted something, don’t stop on my account. I’ll jump in when—”
“Shut up,” Mycroft grumbles, smacking him in the chest.
Cax grins, unperturbed by Mycroft’s signature grouchiness. He wraps his arm around Tera’s waist and gives her a quick squeeze. “Good morning, beautiful girl.”
“Good morning, Trouble.” She hugs him back, a playful smile written across her lips. Cax’s happy-go-lucky personality seems to bring out her lightness, and it makes me ache to make her smile that way at me.
Once Tera is—unfortunately—dressed, the four of us head across campus to Radner’s office. It’s still early, and diffused morning sun lights the fog spreading across campus with a glow. Above the wisps of white fog, trees spread their leafy green branches across the hazy sky, and the spires of buildings rise beyond them. It’s cool this morning—fall is coming on fast—and Cax casually slips off his jacket as we walk, draping it over Tera’s shoulders. She turns her face up to him, smiling. My own short wool coat feels heavy now, a bit too warm. I should have offered her my coat first.
I’m normally pretty smooth. Seduction is a part of my job. But with this girl, this time I actually feel something, I can’t quite seem to turn on the charm.
Maybe I shouldn’t dog Mycroft.
Maybe it really is different when you’re falling for someone.
If Radner realizes I’m losing control, we’re toast. She’ll pull us off Tera’s mission or worse. I plant my hand on Tera’s lower back to usher her up the stairs, and she takes a step in toward me, so we’re close together as we head into the Arts building.
Radner’s office is down a long hallway, and the dark wood floors are polished by years of other students’ feet. Two hundred years ago, some great-great-grandfather of mine walked down this hall too. I wonder if his life felt as complicated?
Forget all that for now. I lean my shoulder in Radner’s doorway and give a quick knock. The hall is empty, quiet; she’ll know it’s us. Even with her office sound-proofed, she’d rather we have privacy.
“Come on in,” she calls.
Mycroft opens the door, and Tera starts to go through. Even Croft holds the door for a lady. But he shoves past her. I catch the edge of the door to hold it open. For a second, hurt flashes over her face, and she stares at his broad back with wide, luminous blue eyes. Then it’s gone; she fixes a smile on her face, straightening her shoulders, and breezes in with her shiny golden-brown hair bouncing against Cax’s jacket.
She could be one of us. I hope one day she will be.
“Good morning,” Radner says.
We echo back her greeting. There are only two straight-back chairs in front of her desk, so the four of us cluster around them without sitting. She doesn’t invite us to make ourselves comfortable.
Her dark hair is pulled back tightly from her square face. There’s no trace of her usual humor this morning, and she offers us a tired smile. “Thank you fo
r coming to see me.” Her eyes sharpen as she takes in Cax’s jacket thrown over Tera’s shoulders. “Tera, you seem to have infiltrated this little band of Avalon’s heroes, hmm?”
“I wouldn’t say heroes,” Cax says.
“I wasn’t talking about you,” she says. “You were the first infiltrator.”
I slide my hand into my pocket, watching Radner curiously. In my peripheral vision, Cax shifts impatiently, crossing his arms.
Though I have faith in her, I’m not sure how Radner is going to spin this; how can she assign Tera a mission without revealing ours?
“I think it’s more like they adopted me.” Tera’s voice is both light and mischievous, although I can read the ever-present suspicion underneath. “For some mysterious reason.”
Radner snorts. “Have you looked in a mirror, Tera Donovan?”
Tera’s lips part slightly, as though in surprise.
That’s an unpleasant way to give a compliment. Typical Radner.
“Anyway.” Radner leans back, catching her prosthetic leg with one hand to draw it onto her good knee. Tera’s eyes flicker to it; she feels a responsibility for her father’s misdeeds that she can’t seem to shake, no matter how foolish it is. She’s her own person.
Mycroft turns away, wandering toward the window, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. Idiot. If Tera were paying attention to him—instead of being fixed on Radner, as alert as a rabbit in front of a fox—she’d see he knows what’s coming.
“I do some consulting work on the side—like many professors here—for our government. And they believe you’re in an unusual position, Tera.” Radner’s voice is casual, almost warm.