Checked Out

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Checked Out Page 21

by Hazel James


  “Is a penis-shaped brownie pan something you have randomly stashed in your cabinet?”

  “You can blame Aunt Alma for that one. Since Mrs. Fairchild doesn’t want a bachelorette party, Aunt Alma is compromising with a girls’ movie night and phallic baked goods.”

  Grandpa proposed to Mrs. Fairchild two weeks ago. They both decided they didn’t want to have a long engagement or a lavish wedding, so they’re getting married in a simple ceremony at Aunt Alma’s next month. Naturally, I jumped at the chance to help her with the decorations. Brainstorming with her is what sparked the idea for tonight’s blog post.

  “On second thought, let’s do our recording first and then eat brownies,” I said, re-covering the plate. “This way, we won’t have to worry about having food in our teeth on camera.”

  “Whatever you say, babe. I’m just here to make you look good.” He headed down the hallway to my studio but stopped when he realized I wasn’t behind him. “You coming?”

  “Yep. Sorry, I was just having a moment.”

  “About what?”

  I followed his path and led the way into my studio. “You’re completely unphased about recording a live blog post tonight. A few months ago, you would’ve been chugging Pepto Bismol and finding excuses for staying off camera.”

  Jack sat down on his stool and rested his arms on the workstation. “Spoiler alert: I have an incredible girlfriend who helped me overcome a fear I’ve had since I was a kid.”

  “She sounds pretty amazing. You should keep her around.” I snapped my phone into the tabletop tripod and took my seat beside Jack. “Ready?”

  He nodded. “Let’s do it.”

  I pressed the button and watched the countdown on the screen.

  3…

  2…

  1…

  “Hey everyone, I’m Tuesday Collins. Welcome to this week’s installment of Try It Tuesday and my very first live blog post! That’s right—tonight, everything’s happening in real time with no editing because I’m on a mission to prove that if you think you’re not creative or if you’ve been hesitant to dive into one of my projects, these coffee filter flowers are the perfect place to start. To demonstrate how fun and easy it is, I’d like to welcome my boyfriend Jack.”

  He smiled and waved from his seat beside me.

  “You might remember Jack and his talented hands from my earlier blog posts on American Sign Language and wood carving.”

  He held up a finger, interrupting me. “Except those skills are completely different than what we’re doing today. Ten bucks says I end up with a wad of paper instead of a flower.”

  “Did you hear that?” I said to the camera. “I’m about to win ten bucks.”

  I went over the supply list, and then Jack followed along as I narrated the steps of folding the filters, trimming the edges, and assembling the flower using floral wire and tape.

  “White carnations symbolize pure love. I think that’s especially sweet given the reason for tonight’s project. My neighbor is marrying Jack’s grandpa, who’s also the man she dated in high school more than fifty years ago. Is that not the most adorable thing you’ve ever heard? She chose carnations because those were the flowers he used to give her when they were teenagers. Now her bouquet will represent something old and something new.”

  When Jack and I finished fluffing the layers of our coffee filters, we held up our finished products. They were nearly identical.

  “See? You owe me ten bucks, mister. Cough it up.”

  Jack set his flower on the desk, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a box.

  A small, black, velvet box.

  “I don’t have ten bucks, so I hope you’re okay with this instead.”

  I glanced up at the camera. We were still very much in the middle of our live recording. “Jack, what are you doing?” I whispered.

  “Earlier, you joked that I should keep you around. For a second, I was afraid you’d figured out what I had planned.”

  Ooooh my Godddd.

  I must’ve said that out loud, because Jack laughed as he turned to the camera. “A little background for the viewers—before Christmas, Tuesday’s five-year-old niece asked me why I wanted Tuesday to be my girlfriend. I told her that my life used to be incredibly boring, and then her aunt came in like a pink lightning bolt and brightened everything up. That story pretty much sums up why I want to spend the rest of my life with her, too.”

  Turning back to me, Jack opened the box and removed the most gorgeous pear-shaped diamond ring I’d ever laid eyes on. “Tuesday Collins, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Will you marry me?”

  “YES!” As soon as he slid the ring on my finger, I launched myself into his arms. Thankfully, he managed to keep us both upright. “But how on earth were you not a nervous wreck while we were making those flowers if you knew you were about to propose?”

  “Two reasons. One, you taught me that good things happen when you go out of your comfort zone.”

  “And the second?”

  He shrugged and flashed an unapologetic smile. “I was totally picturing you naked.”

  Jack

  One Year Later

  “A little overkill, don’t you think?” I teased, tipping my chin at the pink hard hat sitting next to my white one on the carpenter’s table.

  Tuesday parked a fist on her hip and arched a brow. “I’ll have you know, I plan on slinging hammers and getting dirty right alongside you today.”

  I rubbed my hands together while smiling like the Big Bad Wolf. “Does that mean you plan on getting clean alongside me tonight?”

  “Easy, buddy. This is a family-friendly show.”

  “Good thing we haven’t started filming yet.” I cupped her face and claimed her mouth with a heat-filled kiss that had me wishing we were back at our hotel room. We had four days together in Spokane until I had to go back home and Tuesday would leave for Phoenix, which was the next stop on her shooting schedule. For as crazy as it sounded, I missed her already. I reluctantly broke our kiss and pulled her into my arms.

  Tuesday settled against my chest and sighed. “I didn’t expect for today to feel so bittersweet.”

  “It’s the culmination of years of hard work. It makes perfect sense that you’d have mixed emotions.”

  “I just hope I make it through my blog post without crying. I don’t want to start filming the show with puffy eyes.”

  “Say no more. If I see you getting emotional, I promise to throw in some comedic relief. We need to get started though. The crew meeting is in thirty minutes.” I pressed a kiss to her cheek and held out my hand for her phone.

  She took a deep breath and flipped into host mode, pulling up her Try It Tuesday blog page and typing the title of today’s post. “Okay. You just have to push the button and give me the countdown.”

  Following her directions, I hit the “live” button and held up my fingers to mark her intro.

  3…

  2…

  1…

  “Hey everyone, it’s Tuesday Collins-Price welcoming you to the final episode of Try It Tuesday! It feels weird to say ‘final episode’ because this video blog has been a huge part of my life for the last six years. I’ve loved sharing my new experiences with you and seeing the ways you’ve incorporated them into your own lives. And it’s because of this blog that I get to try the coolest new experience ever.”

  She hesitated for a moment, which was long enough for me to know she was fighting a wave of emotion. I immediately spun the camera around and aimed it at myself. “I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I’m insulted that marrying me wasn’t the ‘coolest new experience ever.’ The honeymoon period is officially over, folks.”

  Tuesday chuckled and shook her head as I faced the phone back at her. “I stand corrected. This is the second coolest new experience ever. I’ll be hosting my own show this spring on ScreenFlix called Home By Tuesday, where I’ll travel across the country and help people makeover one room in their house. I can
’t even say that this is a dream come true because it’s more than that. I’ll be able to combine my favorite parts of being a reporter—like meeting people and telling their stories—with my knack for creating environments that feel like home. And the best part is, my sexy husband—who happens to be my favorite carpenter—will be able to join me on a few of these trips, so you’ll still get to see him too.

  “Today is our first day of filming. We’re in Spokane, Washington with the Allen family, who are excited to transform their kitchen into a beautiful and functional space. Before we give you a behind-the-scenes peek into the room, I want to take a second and thank you for your love and support over the years. Even though this blog is ending, I hope you’ll remember that trying something new just might change your life. I know it did for me.”

  To you, for reading this book. Jack and Tuesday have occupied my brain for almost three years and I’m so grateful that you chose to spend time with them.

  NUTS! You win the award for most patient readers EVER. Bless every single one of you. Everyone gets a flamingo.

  Sam George and Mandy Grifka, the two best friends that anyone could ask for! Cheers to new memories in Nashville and friendship that I’d be lost without. Thank you for your unending love and support.

  Alyson Santos, my person, thank you for making me a better writer and forgiving me for #equinesaliva. I’m sorry for all the ands. #masonismine

  Brenna Rattai, your friendship means the world to me. Thank you for your advice, support, and (as always) music recommendations.

  RC Boldt, my homegirl. Thank you for being you! My life is so much brighter with you in it. I’m already looking forward to our next mini retreat!!

  Quad Squad, getting to spend time with you has been such a joy. Thank you for being such awesome friends!

  Ginger Scott and Chelle Northcutt, I can’t thank you enough for letting me bombard your inboxes with reporter questions. I’m massively indebted to you both!

  Erin Haley, my Idaho library informant! Thank you for giving Jack a place to work. (And I still can’t believe that bacon bookmark thing is true! Ugh!)

  Christine Bowden, thank you for letting me borrow Aunt Alma. Give her and Uncle Alan a squeeze from me!

  Ben Ellis with Tall Story Designs. You are the easiest cover designer to work with! Thank you for bringing my crazy idea to life—it turned out even better than I could’ve imagined. (insert major heart-eye emojis here!)

  Stacey Blake with Champagne Book Design, thank you for doing all the hard stuff for me. It’s such a relief to know you’re taking care of everything!

  Hazel James is an Army veteran, and her greatest loves include her family, lip gloss, Diet Coke, and the beach. You can find her at:

  www.instagram.com/realhazeljames

  www.facebook.com/realhazeljames

  www.facebook.com/groups/hazelsnuts

  For a complete list of other works, visit www.authorhazeljames.com.

 

 

 


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