Lila followed his eyes. She looked down at the t-shirt and, upon remembering it was Chase’s, cursed under her breath.
He nearly incinerated her with his gaze.
She crossed her arms tighter. “Is that why you came all the way down here? To tell me that I’m in the clear with a bunch of asshole cheerleaders?”
He was silent for a long moment, drifting in the uncomfortable understanding that had settled in due to that t-shirt on her body. He felt the darkness zeroing in, another black cloud lingering, joining the hundreds that already floated over their shoulders. In this case, that dark cloud was called Chase Almeida.
Those pesky clouds always made Jack a touch more honest and, since he was already an uncomfortably honest person, had the potential for disaster.
“Yes, I could have told you all this at school. And I would have. If it was the only reason I came here.”
For the first time, Lila noticed his eyes were tinged with red. “Why did you come?”
He was now shaking his head vigorously back and forth as the hands he had shoved deep in his pockets pushed at the thin fabric of his sweats.
“I still love you,” he said, emotion coming to life on his face and in his eyes.
She gasped before she could stop it. She didn’t know what she’d been expecting to come out of his mouth, but that hadn’t been it. It hadn’t been love.
Still in Chase’s t-shirt, apparently a t-shirt that had driven Jack clear over an invisible edge, a fatally steep edge, one of their own devising, she immediately stepped in front of her door. She pulled it toward her until it was closed just a crack. Looking back, she made sure she could still hear the shower running from upstairs, and then she took a deep breath, looking back to Jack and saying, “No.”
“Is he here?” The frown on Jack’s face deepened as if the answer to that question was one he wasn’t likely to survive.
“Jack,” Lila spoke through clenched teeth. “You’re engaged. You’re going to be married in less than two weeks. You’re about to be someone’s husband. Just in case you were wondering, being someone’s husband does not involve showing up at another woman’s doorstep at one o’clock in the morning.”
“Maybe I’m just a mindless pawn.” He didn’t seem the least bit apologetic. “Maybe we’re all just mindless pawns, Lila, doomed to keep repeating the same cycle. We all have that one shit cycle, don’t we? That one poisonous fucking cycle. The one cycle that’s damn near impossible to stop.”
“Yeah? And what’s your poisonous cycle, Jack?”
“You.” He almost laughed. “You.”
She’d already known the answer, but hearing it out loud sent her blood running cold. “Well, let me do us both the favor and put an end to it right now.” She turned to go back inside, freezing when he reached out and took a gentle hold of her wrist.
He jammed his eyes shut when she faced him again. In an instant, he was humbled. “Lila. I can’t pretend anymore. It’s exhausting. I’m fucking exhausted. All I can say, all I can do, is what’s true, and that’s my truth.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry if that hurts you, but that’s what it is. That’s why I came here tonight. I love you. I never stopped.”
Shaking, hardly breathing, Lila pulled her wrist from his hold. He released her, and she turned to pull the front door closed all the way, tugging her arms tightly around her body as she stepped out into the cool night air. Tiny pieces of runaway gravel stabbed her bare feet, but she didn’t mind it.
Jack stepped off the stoop and backed away from her a few steps, giving her room to move away from the door.
Arms crossed over her chest; she took a few steps into the driveway, and he followed her every move with his red hued eyes. His body moved with her as well, taking her cues, following her lead.
Lila paced with her hand over her mouth, trying to think. When she came to a sudden stop, he stopped with her, raising his eyebrows.
“What am I supposed to do with that?” she asked. When the silence stretched on too long, her voice rose. “What the hell am I supposed to do with that, Jack?”
His eyes searched hers, but all he could do was shrug.
Her voice rose. “Your wife knows that we slept together. She knows. The same woman who will have my head, and my job, if she finds out I’m even breathing the same air as you right now. Not only are you putting my job in jeopardy by being here, but also your own. God forbid the university catches wind of you, the Deputy, visiting me, the lowly lecturer who dared to speak out against their precious fucking football team. I’m not a good look for you, Jack.”
“And Chase is?” He followed her when she turned away with a scoff. “Is that a good look for you? Jesus fucking Christ, I feel like I just stepped into a god damn time machine. If anything is going to get you fired, it’s spreading your legs for him.”
She faced him again, but she wasn’t wounded. She didn’t hate him anymore, and she had no desire to hurt him the way he was trying to hurt her. “Let’s be real here, Jack. My job is as good as gone at this point. It’s only a matter of time. I’m a liability, and they’re going to find a way to get rid of me. At this point, I can’t even say I give a damn. But you have a real shot at Harvard. Don’t fuck it up by being here right now. Don’t fuck it up because of your stupid pride.”
“What pride?” Jack blinked rapidly. “I don’t care about Harvard. I don’t care about the job. I don’t care about any of it. All I care about is you. All I think about is you, and all you’re thinking about, all you’ve ever thought about, is my brother. What pride?”
She jolted. “Keep your voice down.”
“Fine, Lila. Go ahead.” He motioned to the house. “Go ahead and go inside, lay on your whore back, spread your whore legs, and fuck him until you’re blue in the face. I know he’s here.”
She went to speak.
“Don’t even fix your mouth,” he whispered, coming nose to nose with her. Feeling her breath, soft and gentle against his chin, being this close to her, was something that he still hadn’t grown used to. His eyes shot to her parted lips involuntarily, and he knew he never would. “Don’t even fix your mouth to deny it. If I know anything in this world, baby, I know that look in your eye when you’re on the verge of a good nut. He almost got you there, didn’t he?”
“Jesus, Jack.”
“Don’t ever forget that I’m the one who took you there first.”
Her chest heaved, but she couldn’t tear her eyes from his.
He took a healthy swallow. “Maybe you haven’t?”
She looked off.
He took her chin, forcing her eyes back to him, voice lowering. “Do you still have to think about me to get there?” His eyes fell to her lips. “I still have to think about you.”
She came up to her toes involuntarily, moaning as she snatched her chin from his grasp. Just as easily as he’d recognized the raw need in her eyes at the door, she saw the same reflected in his right then.
“I don’t need to hear about Kelly, or about the wedding, because it’s all a nonfactor. She’s never been right. She’s never been you.”
Lila jammed her eyes shut.
“Tell me how to stop,” he begged.
Her eyes fluttered open and met his.
He held her gaze, retook her chin and leaned in.
It took everything she had to turn her cheek, feeling his breath hot against her ear.
He traced the underside of her jaw with the back of his knuckles, his eyes somehow managing to soften even as they swam with rage.
She stepped back, jamming her eyes shut when she realized there was a car behind her, his SUV. It was parked sideways, probably in his rush to get to her door.
Jack didn’t relent as she moved away. He moved with her.
Lila stared down at their feet, interlaced. Her red toes, his leather shoes, woven side by side on the ground. He was too close. If Chase walked outside at that moment, or even gazed out of a window, and saw the position they were in, he would get the wrong idea.
Her eyes rose to his. “If she isn’t right… why are you marrying her?”
He smiled at her. It was laced with sweetness, almost condescendingly so. Suddenly, his smile wavered. “Are you happy?”
Lila she clawed at the car behind her.
“It’s new,” she whispered.
“That’s not what I asked you.”
“I am, Jack. I’m happy.”
He watched her intensely, holding his breath for so long it was a wonder how he remained upright. Then, just like that, he nodded, his eyes falling to their feet. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I want you to be happy. I really do.”
“I am.”
“And I’m sorry… that I couldn’t do that for you.”
She immediately reached up and cupped his tightened jaw. “Let’s not be sorry anymore. Okay? Let’s all just… start moving forward.” She removed her hand from his jaw when she recognized the change that was rapidly taking place in his eyes. With a deep breath, she was back to clutching the car behind her and staring a little too hard at the ground. “I want you to be happy, too.”
Jack watched the top of her head and then stepped away. The keys in his pocket sang out as he moved. His eyes leveled hers, and he nodded towards the house. “Isn’t my brother waiting for you?”
He’d spewed his venom. He’d even managed to hit her in the eye a few times. Lila knew him well enough to know he needed that. She genuinely cared about Jack, some part of her always would, so she’d taken each shot he’d fired as best she could. Now he was releasing her. Without a word, she pushed off his truck and stepped away, opening the path to the driver’s side door.
She only made it a few steps before turning back to him. “I really do appreciate you. For doing what you could to help me with Julie. For taking down that video. I know you didn’t have to do that. You didn’t even have to consider it.”
He smiled that halfhearted smile again, lingering at the door of his truck. “When have I ever turned down a case?” He refused to accept her words of kindness, meeting her eyes. “I had a choice, and I made it. Just like I had a choice when they put your case on my desk back home in Manhattan. I made that choice too.”
That stole the air from Lila’s lungs, and she hated the way the words blasted her back to that dark time in Manhattan. That dark time that now felt like ages ago.
“And I lost you forever because of it.”
Lila still struggled with what to say. “You didn’t lose me. I’m standing right here in front of you, aren’t I? I’m right here.”
“Physically. Sure...”
“We can still be friends, Jack. I’d like it if we could.”
He laughed, smiling the first genuine smile she’d seen on his face in a long time.
She couldn’t blame him for being amused. She was living in a fantasyland with that last statement.
He moved to the door of his truck, looking away from her. Only when he’d disarmed it and pulled it open did he turn and meet her eyes.
“Why?” he asked. “Why did you let me inside, when you knew that you loved him all along?”
“I didn’t plan this, Jack. It happened. It just happened.”
“No, Lila.” His face tightened. “It didn’t just happen.”
She didn’t know what to say. Nothing was right. Nothing would wipe away the destroyed look in his eyes.
“It’s only a matter of time, you know.” He climbed into the truck but didn’t turn back to her. “Only a matter of time before you rip him to shreds, too.”
He slammed the door closed without waiting for a response, started his truck, and tore out of her driveway.
The truck roared away and was gone in a matter of seconds.
19
Exhaling, Lila stepped back in the house. The exchange with Jack in her driveway had been inevitable. She was thankful to have survived it. She didn’t feel sick to her stomach the way she thought she would, and even though he’d called her a whore several times, she knew that was Jack at his tamest.
As she closed the front door, she was surprised to find Chase leaning forward in one of the chairs at her dining table, facing her.
What she felt the moment she looked at him made her understand that it was all worth it. It was worth taking every bullet Jack had fired, and every bullet that society inevitably would. With one hit of those green eyes, the darkness was gone in an instant, and it was all worth it.
What now alarmed her was that, as Chase effortlessly swept all her black clouds away, they seemed to re-manifest, brand new and stronger than ever, right there in his eyes.
He was in a fresh pair of black sweats, skin still glistening with moisture from his shower. His fresh scent engulfed her the moment she stepped in. Their eyes met, and he pressed his lips together. His hands were clasped in front of him, eyes serious as she closed and locked the door behind her.
“Why did you go out there in just a t-shirt?” he demanded. “You must be freezing.”
Lila breathed deep. It was now occurring to her that the gods were determined to make this a let’s relive the past kind of night. She’d just gone to battle with Jack, and it had, blessedly, been one of their tamer disagreements. She’d been a fool to think the buck would stop with him. It never did with the Almeida brothers.
She pushed a hand through her hair, walking into the kitchen. Chase didn’t grab her thigh or slap her ass as she moved past him. This only solidified that a quarrel was on the horizon.
This time, she suspected the venom would sting, and she’d need a drink.
“I wasn’t expecting to step outside,” she said, fishing a beer out of the fridge. “If I had known I’d end up in the driveway, I would have thrown on a cardigan. Or at least some shoes,” she laughed, wiggling her painted toes.
He was still facing the living room from where he sat at the dining room table, which left his entire body turned away from her. He didn’t make the move to turn towards her, give her access to his chest, his heart. But he did turn his head, meeting her eyes.
Lila recognized what she saw there immediately. “Can we please not do this?” she begged. “We were having such a nice night.”
Chase’s eyes bore into hers. “I want you to be my date to the wedding.”
Lila exhaled, dropping her beer onto the counter next to her. “You know I can’t do that. The wedding is in two weeks.”
He looked away from her, once more. “Yes, and in two weeks, your class will be over. In two weeks, I’ll no longer be your student. In two weeks, you won’t have an excuse. So in two weeks, I’d like my girlfriend to be on my arm at my brother’s wedding.” His eyes met hers. “Why is that a problem?”
“Chase. We agreed that we were going to keep this quiet until you graduated. Or, at the very least, until my promotion is decided.”
He pulled his hands apart, still leaning forward on his knees. “I can’t wait that long.”
“So I’ll just throw my entire future away, because you can’t wait?” She tried to speak gently. “I’ll let my lights go out, my stomach go empty, and my mortgage go into default, because you can’t wait?”
“Lila. I’m going to take care of you.”
She straightened. She knew the inheritance money his late parents had left him was enough to pay for her house a hundred times over, with millions left to spare. Money had never been an object for Chase. Lila often found herself forgetting that. Financially, the man before her was comfortably planted in the top 1% of the country, and would remain there for the rest of his life.
“I don’t want your money,” she said.
“It’ll be your money too. Eventually.”
Lila breathed deep, unable to wrestle with the meaning behind his words.
“Besides.” He pressed on. “It’s not even against school policy for a lecturer to date a student at Harvard. I checked.”
She already knew that, and had been holding out hope he never would. “Nothing but black ink printed on a page. A bunch of bullshit words that mean nothi
ng in the long run. It might not be against school policy, but please believe it will be a factor in whether or not I’m promoted.”
“There are plenty of professors at Harvard dating students.”
“Key word, professors. Most of whom are probably tenured. They could shoot up the damn school tomorrow, and they would still have a job waiting for them come Monday morning.”
“Lila, I changed my mind.” He clapped his hands back together. “I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t want to hide, or be hidden.”
“What changed so quickly?”
“Seeing you arguing with him on your front lawn, wearing nothing but a t-shirt, that’s what changed. Seeing him touching you like you’re still his, that’s what changed.”
“Jack and I have always disagreed, you know that.”
“You shouldn’t care enough to be disagreeing with him, Lila. He shouldn’t have the power to upset you anymore. The only person who should have the power to do that to you is me.”
“He hasn’t upset me, at all. I’m not upset.”
He hissed.
“But, I have to say, you’re doing a stand up job getting me there right now.”
His eyes softened, and then he jammed them closed.
Seeing his inner battle, she crossed the kitchen and caressed his cheek, a soft smile playing at her lips.
Chase swept her hand away, taking in the surprised look on her face.
He suddenly stood and took the bottom of the t-shirt she had on, bunching it up around her waist with one hand while ripping her panties down with the other.
He pushed her into the kitchen with his chest, holding her as she stumbled before taking her shoulders, turning her, and bending her over on the counter.
Her soft panting rang in his ears as he released himself from his pants, moving her ankles apart with his feet, spreading her legs wider.
“Chase?” Lila gasped when he entered her from behind, without a word, hard and fast, and began a slow, deliberate pound. Panties still hanging around her ankle, a whimper escaped her lips before she could stop it, unable to help the immediate waves of pleasure that gripped her whenever he was inside her. She looked over her shoulder and met his eyes. There was something flashing in them that had her entrapped, stunned. She reached up behind her and cradled the back of his neck, accepting every pound he delivered.
Thunder Rolls (The Almeida Brothers Trilogy Book 2) Page 27