by T L Osborn
Someone who isn’t me.
Grabbing a beer from the fridge, I open it and toss the cap into the bin. Taking a long drag of the liquid, I hope to erase the memory of her altogether, but I’ll need a few more of these to do it.
“Between you and who?” my sister teases. Her eyes widen as she obviously realises who I was talking about. “Don’t tell me it was Sasha.”
“I’m not telling you anything.”
“Speaking of Sasha–” Jake says only to be interrupted as Simon, Charlotte, James and Riley appear with two puppies on leads.
“Hey mate. Happy birthday,” I greet Simon, hoping the topic of Sasha may be lost.
“Thanks. I’ve had an awesome day so far. What were you three discussing as we walked in?”
“Sasha,” Jake says.
“Jacob, I’m going to punch you in a minute if you don’t shut up,” I growl.
James comes over and pours himself and Simon a whiskey.
“You’ve got more patience than me. I’d have punched Simon by now and without a warning,” he says.
“So who exactly is Sasha and why were we discussing her?” Simon asks as he takes his drink from James and we all make our way over to the lounge.
“We weren’t discussing her,” I say, taking a seat.
“So you’re not going to tell them we bumped into her at the supermarket earlier, nor that you gave her a speeding ticket?” Jake says.
“Wait…she’s back in town?” Aria asks.
I could kill Jacob right now, but being a cop, that’s not a good look. I nod. “Yes.”
Her face lights up. “Does this mean you two could get back together?”
I roll my eyes. “You read far too much of that soppy romance, little sister. I saw the giant rock on her hand; I’m certain she’s moved on and there’s no chance in hell she’s going to want me back.” I cast a glance to Jacob who throws me an ‘Oh fuck’ look.
“Toby, you never know what could happen. I personally think you and Sasha are meant to be together and will find a way to make it happen. You don’t just forget or get over a love that strong.”
She’s right. I haven’t had a serious girlfriend since Sasha, though I put that down to my job and my working hours.
“Life isn’t a book Aria. I can’t just get her back. She broke all her promises to me and sent back the promise ring I gave her. If that wasn’t a sign that she didn’t love me I don’t know what was.”
Angrily, I stand up and exit the house through the ranch slider, closing the door to put some distance between myself and my family. She had promised to love me forever and I stupidly believed her. Seeing her today has brought up feelings inside me that I never thought I’d feel again. Taking a swig of my beer, I hear the sound of the ranch slider being opened. I glance out the corner of my eye to find Aria closing the door.
Great what does she want now?
“I’m sorry I pushed you like that. I didn’t mean to. I guess I just got excited about the idea of you and Sasha again.”
“Apology accepted. You always liked Sasha. I know you were sad when she left too. I should’ve tried harder, demanded her dad let her move in with us or hell, booked a plane ticket to go see her. But I–”
“Toby, it wasn’t your fault. Her dad was a dick and never would’ve let her stay. And well, we didn’t have our parents around to say she could stay. I did like Sasha though she wasn’t as close to me as she was to you, she never made me feel like I was your annoying little sister.”
I smile. “Secretly I think she was grateful to have someone like you around. You were like a sister to her. I’m sorry too for snapping at you.”
She wraps her arms around me. “For what it’s worth, I think Sasha lost out on having a great guy in her life because you are a great guy, Tob. After everything you’ve done for Jake and me over the years, it’s your turn to be happy.”
I smile as she lets me go and walks back inside.
I am happy. I go to work, come home and watch some TV. Women in the past have been a bit of fun between the sheets, some more exciting than others, but never lasting longer than a month or so. And yet, something is missing. Something very big is missing; I’m just unsure what that something is.
Sasha
I can’t shake the way touching Toby felt. His fingertips against the back of my hand were still as soft and smooth as they were when we were dating as teenagers. Oh! The way he used to touch me with those hands…
They danced across my skin as he sought to find where and how I loved to be touched. His thumb tortured my nipples whilst his other hand deftly made its way all over my body. He’d never touch my clit straight away, preferring to drive me wild first. I wasn’t his first sexual experience but he wanted to perfect his technique with me. He wanted my first time to be special—perfect—and it was.
I rest my hands upon the steering wheel, needing some time to calm myself down before I walk inside and face Kyle. Letting my fiancé see this sudden desire for Toby would be bad. I’m engaged to him and should be planning our wedding. Damn Toby and his stirring of all these feelings. Sighing, I get out of the car and grab the groceries I bought from the boot of the car and head inside.
“Hey,” I call through the house.
“You took your time,” Kyle barks back. Walking through the lounge, my arms laden with bags, he doesn’t get up or offer to carry any.
“Sorry, the supermarket was packed.”
“What’s for dinner?” he demands.
“I was thinking lamb chops, beans and potatoes.”
“Don’t make the lamb too crispy…and beans, yuck. Can’t we have something else?” he says following me into the kitchen and grabbing himself a beer.
I sigh. “Why don’t you try them?”
“Just cook something else.” Slamming the fridge closed, he exits the kitchen and my heart sinks. Where has the man gone from three months ago; the one who was attentive and helpful in the kitchen? He seems to have disappeared and I’m not sure I like this new Kyle. Maybe things will improve when I start my new job. He’ll see I’m working too so he might help with things.
Toby used to help do everything; he even helped me learn how to cook his favourite meal. He didn’t even complain when I burned the chicken; he still ate it. Taking a deep breath I begin to put the groceries away when Kyle comes back into the room.
“What’s taking so long? I’m hungry,” he complains.
“I have to put the groceries away before I can start cooking. You could help,” I snap.
“Nah, I’ve got some work to do. I’ll be in my office just come get me when dinner is ready.”
He walks away again, leaving me alone once more. I continue to put the shopping away and begin to make dinner. I season the lamb the way he likes and put the beans on to steam as well as the potatoes to boil. I’m looking forward to this meal tonight. Whilst it’s cooking, I pour myself a wine and as I do, thoughts of Toby flood through my mind. My pulse races, stomach fills with butterflies and heart pounds hard within the walls of my chest. Seems Toby still fills me with desire, though it’s not like he ever stopped. I’ve had other boyfriends after him and when we had sex the only way I could get really turned on was to think of Toby. Always Toby. Of course the guys I was with at the time thought they were doing an awesome job. I never ever told them otherwise.
Once dinner has cooked and I serve it up on the dining room table, lighting some candles to bring a little romance to our evening, I’m hoping Kyle’s mood improves. I walk up the stairs and knock on his office door.
“Dinner’s ready,” I call and head back downstairs to wait for him. I take a sip of my wine while I wait and a few moments later he comes and sits down. Pulling the chair out, he plonks himself down on the seat and cuts the lamb. No comment on how it looks. Picking up my own fork I dig into the meal. It’s delicious and cooked just the way I like it.
“So I start my new job tomorrow,” I say, picking up my wine to take a sip.
“That�
��s great.” Kyle shrugs.
“I’m thinking I need to decorate my new classroom with my favourite colours and maybe have some things to welcome the kids back to school for their first day; like some stationary or perhaps a pencil set. What do you think?”
“Aren’t parents supposed to provide the stationery? You’re wasting your money on these kids who probably aren’t going to care.”
“Kyle, I’m new and I want to be a great teacher.”
“You’ll be a fantastic teacher; I’ve watched you. You certainly have more patience with kids than I do. I’m just saying the kids won’t care.”
“What do you think of the meal?” I ask hoping to change the subject.
“Dry, no flavour and next time listen to me when I say I don’t want beans.”
“I think its fine,” I snap.
He raises an eyebrow at me. “Watch your tone, Sasha. Don’t speak to me that way. Now be a good woman and get me a beer,” Kyle barks.
“I thought you’d like a wine instead,” I say.
He glowers at me. “I said get me a beer.”
I get out of my seat and walk through to the kitchen, grabbing him a beer. He drops his knife and fork down onto the plate. “Next time do as I say.”
With that he carries his beer away and I hear his office door slam a few moments later. Looks like I’m spending tonight doing all the housework again. I sigh and lean upon the kitchen bench.
He used to be so attentive, affectionate and loving. Yet now, he’s cold and distant. He hasn’t shown me any real attention or love since I moved in and I’m still living out of the spare room—literally. I’m hoping things will change between us once I start work on Monday. Maybe then Kyle will see that since I’m working too, he should start helping out more. I sigh and begin to clear away the stuff from dinner. Toby would have never done this to me, nor left me alone and he talked of having a football team of kids with me.
Silent tears stream down my face.
Maybe my friends were right and things are moving too fast with Kyle.
Chapter Four
Sasha
I’m headed out to my job as primary teacher to Year 2 students at Whiteman’s Valley School in Whiteman’s Valley Upper Hutt. Paddocks of cows, horses and sheep line the road. It’s stunning in beauty and quiet too. I’m going to enjoy working out here away from the hustle and bustle of the city. The sun shines brightly overhead with another gorgeous day on the horizon. It’s going to be a scorcher so I’m glad I chose to wear a skirt today rather than the pants I’d originally chosen.
It doesn’t take too long for me to find the school; not large, but rather a smaller one surrounded by paddocks with cows and sheep in them. I pull into the carpark next to the building and park beneath some tall trees that hopefully will give some shade from the day’s heat I know is to come later. It’s obvious to me that at some point this carpark used to belong to the farmer next door, but I think this is great for the staff to park in and so the parents can park at the front of the school since it’s on a main road.
My stomach twists into knots with nerves. I’ve already met the principal, deputy principal and the board, but today I meet the remainder of the staff. I hope they like me. I’m excited to see my classroom and figure out what I’ll be doing with it. I grab my bag full of cards, some felt tip pens, whiteboard markers, pins and stickers; these are only a few items for today as I’m unsure what the school has provided for me.
Getting out of my car, the air is thick with heat like I’ve got a hairdryer constantly waving in my face and the pungent smell of cow manure. Yuck! With this hot weather it’s twice as bad as it should be. I screw my face up and quickly lock my car to make my way towards the school. I’ll probably get used to the smell in time but for now it’s disgusting. The stones play havoc with my walking as I make my way towards the school, causing me to wobble all over the place.
Note to self: buy some flat shoes to get to and from the building.
Once I’m finally back on solid ground and enter the school, Principal Glenn, comes out to meet me. He’s a young man with short cropped hair.
He smiles. “Sasha, nice to see you again.”
“You too,” I say, reaching out to shake his hand.
“Are you excited to begin the school year?” he asks.
“I am. I look forward to meeting the staff and students.”
“Excellent, you’ll have the second classroom in the building. Year 1 is right next to yours and the office and staff room are across from it.” He leads me up the stairs and towards the rooms in question. “You’ll store your things in the lockers in the staff room. Each team member has a cubby and you’ll have a rostered day for doing playground duty walk and watching over the kids.” I nod as I take in this information. He shows me to the staffroom where I’m introduced to my new colleagues.
They seem likeable enough but time will tell. The last team I worked with didn’t like me very much, but thought Kyle was the best guy in whole entire world, especially when he showed up to surprise me with flowers, but I couldn’t help but feel like he was secretly flirting with one of my colleagues.
I’m shown to my classroom.
“It’s yours to do with as you please and set up the way you think is best. Unfortunately we can’t move the blackboard and whiteboards but the rest is yours,” Glenn tells me, his face lighting up as we enter the room. Looking around I see desks piled up in the corner of the room, empty bookshelves around the edges.
“I already have some ideas.”
Glenn chuckles. “That’s what I like to hear. You can come in anytime you like over the next two weeks to start setting up your room. Mrs Cherry will be here cleaning, she’s a wonderful lady and very thorough with her tasks. You can hang whatever you like and start planning your term out now if you like. I’ll email you the curriculum for this term and you can plan it out as you see fit.”
“Excellent, is there a particular pattern you wish me to follow?” I ask him.
He shakes his head. “Absolutely not so long as the students are meeting the levels they need to, I’ll be happy.” I smile. “Now, I’ll leave you here to fix up the classroom and if you need a hand lifting anything let me know.”
“Thank you.” Once the door closes, I let out a sigh.
Where do I begin and what the hell do I do with all this space?
I start with a bit of cleaning. Yes, that’s the answer; start with tidying, then set everything up.
Toby
“Hey Toby,” my colleague Matt greets me as I sit down at my desk and turn on my computer.
Spinning my chair I turn to find him buried in files and almost asleep at his desk. “Hey mate. How are you doing?” I ask.
He grunts. “Exhausted. The baby hasn’t been sleeping so great at night so my wife and I are trying to tag team her together.”
“That’s rough, mate.”
“Yeah, sure is, but we’ll get there. That being said, in your desk there’s a gift from my wife. She wanted to say thanks for covering for me these last two weeks.”
“It’s not a problem. You’d do the same for me.”
He chuckles. “Damn straight. When are you going to find yourself a good woman?”
“Me? Nah, no woman could handle me; I’m too high maintenance.” I chuckle. Not to mention that the one I thought was my true love, up and left, breaking every single promise she made to me and shattered my heart in the process.
“Bro, you’re a great guy with a good job. In fact, my wife has this friend and I think–”
“I’m going to cut you off right there. I appreciate the thought but I’m not interested.” Lucky for me, my desk phone rings at that moment, cutting him off even further. I answer it. “Detective Thompson.”
“Detective Thompson, Officer Barnes here. I’ve just had a tip come through relating to the case that you were investigating last week and well you might want to come take a look.”
“What is it?” I ask.
“W
ell, the tip came from someone who said they’d found a suspicious weapon at the scene of last week’s crime. Called it in.”
“All right, I’ll grab my gear and make my way there. Officer, can you cordon off the scene and get a tent set up please?”
“Yes, Sir, and I’ll try and keep the media away too, but they’re like vultures.”
“That they are. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I hang up the phone and pick up my hat. “Matt, grab your gear, I need you for this one.”
“A ride along? I call shotgun,” he hollers.
“You dork, you’re the only one coming with me.”
He chuckles, grabbing his own jacket and hat and we make our way to the police garage to grab our car. The entire way along the drive I wonder how the fuck I missed a potential weapon last week. Or was it deliberately left there to throw us off the trail?
“I know what you’re thinking and you didn’t miss a thing. The weapon has been left either by the assailant to taunt us, or someone trying to get rid of the evidence,” Matt tells me from the passenger’s seat.
“Still. I missed it.”
“You’re too hard on yourself. Lighten up, bro.”
We pull into Totara Park and find the scene is a hive of activity. The media, like the vultures they are, surround the scene, trying to capture photos. I can’t blame them really; crimes like this don’t usually happen in Upper Hutt and when they do, they’re big news. I see the tent has already been set up and a cordon hoisted as per my earlier request and all I want is to catch this bastard.
I make my way over to an officer standing guard by the cordon. He’s young, early twenties, looks fresh out of the New Zealand Police College.
“What do we have here, Officer?” I ask.
“Barnes, Sir. I was the duty officer assigned to stand guard and await your instructions. As I relayed to you over the phone, the call was received by the Upper Hutt Police Station and I was sent here to take a look. I thought it was worth giving you a call since you’re the lead detective on the case. I discovered several weapons; one with what appears to be blood on it. I haven’t touched anything, just cordoned off the scene and called you.” I case the blocked-off area. It’s a mess: rubbish scattered everywhere, clothing dumped and people who just couldn’t be bothered finding a toilet have defecated and urinated here too.