by T L Osborn
Taking the time to look at her, I find her staring at me.
“We should go inside otherwise people might start to talk.”
“Yeah, they’ll wonder what’s taking us so long and I’ll tell them I ate the entire lemon meringue pie.” I chuckle.
She throws me a ‘don’t you dare’ look as we walk inside and are greeted by Aria.
“Hey you two,” Aria says as we step into the lounge. “Sasha so glad you could make it. Welcome to my home.”
“Thank you for inviting me. For a moment I didn’t think I was coming but I did bring lemon meringue pie.”
“And it made it all the way here without being eaten by Toby?”
“Hey! I’m not that much of a pig,” I say as my sister pokes her tongue out at me.
“Take a seat Sasha. Would you like a wine?” Aria asks. Sasha nods. “Jake and Steph will be here shortly.”
I pause at the ranch slider door and look at Aria. “Together?” I ask, throwing her a grin.
“Tobias I’m warning you now not to say a word. I’m sure there’s nothing going on and they’re just friends.”
I snort. “Yeah, friends with benefits.”
Aria points at the ranch slider and I take that to mean I should get out. Laughing my head off, I exit onto the outside patio where James and Simon are having a beer.
“Hey mate,” Simon greets me with a handshake. “Want a beer?”
“Please.”
“So who’s the chick?” James asks as I take a seat.
“That’s Sasha Reeves. Charlotte’s teacher this year and an old friend of Aria’s. She’s only just moved back to Upper Hutt after a long time being away so Aria thought it would be great to invite her along tonight,” Simon tells James.
“Ah, little sisters friend, aye Toby? I bet you had a crush on her,” James says.
I take a swig of my beer and choose to ignore his comment.
“Where’s Charlotte?” I ask.
“At Linda’s. She has her granddaughter this weekend, so she thought it might be nice for the girls to have a sleepover,” Simon replies.
The door opens and Riley pops her head out. “Can you three come inside please? I have something I need your help with,” she asks.
“Anything, baby,” James says, following her inside.
Simon and I follow along behind him and I see Steph and Jake have arrived. Making my way over to the couch, I sit opposite Sasha.
“Right, so I need some help coming up with a scenario for my next book. The characters are playing an old-fashioned game of Spin the Bottle and I need us to role play it out so I can get a feel for how it will go.” Riley holds up an empty wine bottle.
Stealing a quick glance at Sasha I see her looking at me with a wicked grin.
Our first game of Spin the Bottle was also the first time we kissed. She wasn’t my first kiss but I’m pretty sure I was hers. She’s never admitted that to me but I’m sure of it.
“Are we all willing to play?” Riley asks.
Everyone sits down on the couch a mixture of couples sitting opposite each other. Riley spins first and it lands on James. After a quick kiss, which I’m sure James wanted to last longer, the bottle is spun by James. It lands on Jacob.
“Come here big boy!” James chuckles as he pulls Jake in for a hug and manages to kiss his cheek. Jake pretends to punch him in the stomach. The room erupts with laughter over Jake’s embarrassment and even Sasha stifles a giggle.
Jake spins and it lands on Steph. They kiss to a crooning crowd and I can’t help but wonder if they’ve kissed before now. They looked rather comfortable doing it. Steph spins and it lands on me. I tap my cheek telling her where I want it.
The only one I want touching my lips is the one I can’t have.
Spinning the bottle, my heart slams within my chest as I watch it go around and around. I’m hoping it lands on Sasha but then again, I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable. It stops, landing on…Aria.
“Spin again, Toby,” Riley announces.
“Hang on, why does he get to spin again?” Jake hollers.
“Because I don’t think it’s appropriate for him to kiss his sister, do you?” Riley retorts.
Jake mumbles something under his breath as I spin the bottle again. This time getting my wish as it lands on Sasha. Leaning forward, I slide my hand onto her neck and feel her hands shaking as they grip my forearms.
“Cheek please,” she begs.
Obliging her, I kiss her on the cheek.
“Cheater. That’s not how you play,” James hollers.
Suddenly, Sasha bolts from the room and out the door without a word.
Fuck!
I embarrassed her and I didn’t want that for her at all.
Throwing James a look, I follow her, hoping I can make this right and we can enjoy the rest of the night.
Chapter Thirteen
Sasha
My heart slams against my ribcage, beating so hard I can feel it in my ears. Apparently, my feelings for Toby are stronger than I thought and only seem to be getting stronger. I wanted him to kiss me; I really did. I want to feel his soft lips against mine, to know if it would be heaven, but I shouldn’t think about him this way. My body is shaking as these feeling overwhelm me, taking over my senses.
My vision blurs and I take slow deep breaths. Kyle washes through my mind. He’s changed from the man I first met to one I’m not sure I even know. He’s going out and leaving me alone but when I want to spend time with my friends he takes my keys and gets all possessive over me.
Suddenly, I’m grabbed from behind and spun into Toby’s warm, inviting arms. I can’t control the tears that spring forward at my confusion.
“I’m so sorry. That went further than it should have,” Toby says.
I shake my head, wiping my tears on his shirt. “You don’t need to apologise for anything. You have absolutely no idea how badly I wanted you to kiss me and I know it’s wrong but this feels so right.”
“I know how desperate you are to kiss me as it’s what I wanted too and like you, this feels so wrong and yet so right.” He lifts my hand to his chest. “Do you feel that? My hearts beats with life because of you. Spending time with you, laughing with you; it just feels like everything is back in place. And knowing you’re going back to him kills me.”
“Toby, I’m scared I’ll end up like my mother. I believe in love and happily ever after,” I say as he steers me over to a seat.
“Sash, I’m not asking you to leave him for me but I can see it on your face that the kiss meant more than you want to admit. You love him and yet you’re scared because you’re falling for me too.”
I nod. I’m so very confused about what I feel right now.
“Sash, I’ll be here for you no matter what. You’ve always held the key to my heart. I could never love another when we broke up. You were my forever.”
I gulp at his words knowing what he’s saying is the truth and I hear the pain in his voice. “That doesn’t mean I never wanted you to move on and find love again. I’m only sorry it’s not with me.”
He stands and walks away from me, leaving me to ponder what he’s just said as I raise my hand to my mouth, covering my gasp of surprise.
If I stay with Kyle am I setting myself up for a life of loneliness? He doesn’t appear to desire me nor show me any affection; if anything he just complains about what I do and don’t do.
Then there’s Toby who would move mountains to make me happy. Things with him are easy, uncomplicated and he loved me unconditionally once. He’s always accepted me for me. Our love was cut short and what I don’t understand is why.
Who would rip us apart?
“Sasha,” Riley says quietly as she steps outside to join me. “I just wanted to apologise. I’m sorry if my idea of a game went too far. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s okay, there’s a lot more to this than some game. I’m just sorry that I may have ruined the idea for you.”
“You didn
’t. I have an idea flowing and I’m itching to go home and write it all down but first I need to eat some of that amazing pie you made; especially before James gets to it or no one else will get a piece.”
“He’ll have to fight Toby for it.”
I re-enter the home as Aria and Simon are serving up dinner. We sit down to eat and Toby sits next to me, never leaving my side even trying to steal my piece of lemon meringue pie off my plate.
Once we’re all stuffed, the guys disappear into the library to play a game of pool. I get my phone out of my bag, only meaning to check the time, but discover five messages from Kyle.
Ky: I’m home where are you?
Ky: What time are you coming home?
Ky: Answer me.
Ky: You better not be out with another man.
Ky: Fucking answer me or I’ll lock you out of the house. I know you don’t have your keys.
He does have my keys.
I can almost see the smug look on his face as he typed this out. Picking up my wine and taking a sip, I answer him.
Me: I was eating dinner and I’m just finishing my wine, then I’ll be home.
I haven’t even been out an hour and a half.
“Are you okay?” Aria asks.
“No. It turns out Kyle definitely has my keys and he’s angry because I haven’t answered his messages and now he’s threatening to lock me out of the house.”
Aria frowns. “And you’re engaged to him?”
“I know what you’re thinking but this is not the Kyle I met. He’s completely changed, a different guy. He’s possessive and controlling. He doesn’t like me having friends, nor talking to people he doesn’t approve of. I did invite him to come tonight and meet you all but he refused and scoffed in my face.”
“He definitely sounds controlling and manipulative. If he doesn’t want to meet your friends or allow you to go out with them then that’s a problem.”
“You sound like you know what you’re talking about,” I say.
“I should. I went through having an abusive partner but it wasn’t until I left him that I saw it. I’m here if you wish to talk about it. You have my cell phone number.”
“Thank you and I do appreciate that but right now, I need to go home and talk to Kyle.”
“You don’t need to do anything other than leave.”
She’s right and I know it but I don’t know how to leave or even where to start.
“I think I’d better get Toby to take me home before Kyle goes through with his threat.”
Toby
“Toby, Sasha is ready to go home,” Aria says as she comes into the library.
“Already? But it’s only early,” Jake complains.
“Sorry boys, but game’s over. I need to make sure she gets home safely,” I say, putting my pool cue away. As I go to head out to the lounge, Aria grabs my arm. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m just getting a horrible feeling about Sasha’s relationship with Kyle. He seems very much like Lance but possibly worse. I’m worried,” Aria says, biting her lip.
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure she’s safe,” I reply as I head out to see Sasha is ready to go.
She’s quiet on the drive back to her place and I can’t tell what she’s thinking. The closer we get to Totara Park, the more anxious she becomes. She sits, wringing her hands and shuffling her feet.
“Sash, do you feel safe going home tonight?” I ask.
“Me? Of course I do. Kyle is probably just mad that I wasn’t home to cook him dinner.”
I can tell it’s a lie but I don’t push her.
“So he can’t cook for himself. What is he, a big baby?” I ask.
“Don’t, Toby. Please just let it go.”
“Fine, but I don’t want to. I’m going to drop you off and wait for you. If you don’t feel safe, I want you to come back. I told you I’ll be here for you and I mean it.”
She gives me a half smile as I park my car up her driveway. She climbs out, making her way towards the door, which opens before she gets to it. Kyle appears and folds his arms across his chest, staring me down like I’m trespassing on his territory. He greets Sasha with a hug and despite that, I’m not entirely convinced she’ll be safe.
I should’ve tried harder to make her stay with me, but like the teenager I once was I let her walk away from me once again.
Along the drive back to my place I resolve to message her in the morning and make sure she is okay. I’m a friend and that’s what friends do, right?
I pull my car into my drive, turn it off and make my way inside. Opening the door, I find a light coming from my bedroom. What’s odd is that I didn’t leave a lamp on when I left.
Maybe Henry worked out how to finally knock my lamp over.
The bloody cat is a menace and loves electrical cords.
Dumping my keys, wallet and cell phone onto the kitchen bench, I head into the bathroom to brush my teeth. My mind is still occupied by Sasha and whether or not she’s okay. After brushing my teeth, I strip down to my boxers and walk into my room only to find my bed already occupied and not by my feline companion.
“Felicity, what the fuck are you doing here?” I demand as she tries to move herself into a seductive position. She’s wearing a barely there black silk nightie.
“Hi, baby. I missed you,” she purrs.
“How the fuck did you get inside?” I’m damn sure every door and window was locked on this house when I left earlier.
“I have a key,” she says in a ‘duh’ tone. “Now, come here so we can get naked and have sex.”
I have no desire to sleep with her—ever again. Spotting her clothes upon the floor, I gather them up, thrusting them at her.
“You. Are. Leaving,” I say through gritted teeth.
She pouts at me but I ignore her and point to my bedroom door.
“Go now!”
“Fine, but we’re not over Toby. You’ll see I’m the best thing to ever happen to you.” She pulls on her clothes and exits, leaving me shaking angrily. She will never be the best thing to happen to me because that woman got out of my car earlier tonight and walked into the arms of another man.
Ripping my duvet off my bed, I make myself up the sofa couch in the lounge, making sure the front door is bolted. Lying down I turn on the TV and select the sports channel.
Note to self: Burn the sheets on my bed tomorrow and change all the locks in the house.
Sasha
“Did you enjoy your night?” Kyle asks, his voice controlled yet full of anger.
“I did. It was nice catching up with old friends and making new ones. I only wished you’d been with me,” I reply as I remove my shoes, place them in the rack, then head up the stairs to the bathroom.
“You really expect me to believe that you were with other people tonight when it’s obvious you just wanted to be with him—your lover?”
“Lover? I have no lover. You’re crazy,” I scoff as I remove my makeup.
He grips my upper arms, twists me to face him, then slams me into the wall.
“Crazy.” He gets right in my face, the pungent smell of bourbon washes over my face. “You wore makeup to go out. You never wear makeup and I can smell perfume, which I’ve only ever seen you wear when we go out for dinner. I’m not crazy; I know the signs when someone is having an affair.”
“Kyle, I’m not having an affair. I always wear makeup and perfume. You’ve just usually left home by the time I’m getting dressed for the day.”
I try to wriggle free of his grasp but it only tightens.
“Don’t lie. You wore it to impress him. You’re nothing but a whore, a stupid, fat, lazy whore. I see you haven’t even bothered to clean this house or done any laundry before you swanned off to meet him.”
He wraps my hair around his fist, tilting my head to face him rough enough I’m sure I feel several strands of hair pulled from my head. He presses his mouth to mine roughly as he tugs on my breast. I swear I can feel his erection growing the rougher he
gets with me. This is sick and twisted. He lets me go, slamming me against the wall.
“Tomorrow, I expect you to remain at home, cleaning this pig sty of a house. It’s disgusting.”
“Yes, Kyle.”
A smug smile appears on his face. “Good girl. It’s nice to see you finally learning your place.” He shoves me across the room, slamming me into the bathroom sink, causing pain to shoot through my stomach.
He exits without another word and I inhale sharp, short breaths. Pain rages across my stomach and throbs through my upper arms. Examining myself, I wash my face down with a flannel hoping it’ll mask that I’ve been crying, but as I stare at myself in the mirror Kyle’s words come back to haunt me.
I’m not fat, am I? I don’t think I weigh that much. Sure I enjoy a lollypop at the end of the day but that’s not enough to make me put on weight, is it?
Once done, I change into my pyjamas, then make my way downstairs to pour myself another glass of wine. Kyle is sitting in the dining room and I pour my wine not wanting to look at him.
He comes over and wraps his arms around me, spinning me around and I hesitate, wondering whether or not he’s going to do it again.
“I’m sorry. I was jealous that you were going out without me and I shouldn’t have been. You were right. I go out with my friends all the time and you don’t. I know you’re not having an affair and I’m sorry I said it.”
“Kyle, it’s okay. I truly wanted you to come with me tonight and meet my friends.”
“I love you, you know that right.” He pulls me against his chest. He holds me for a few moments and leaves me feeling confused. One minute he’s angry and controlling, then he’s loving and caring.
“I’m going to head up to bed,” I tell him.
“Sure, you do that, honey. Take your wine and go relax.”
I carry my wine up to the bedroom before he changes his mind. I place my drink down on my bedside cabinet and pull back the covers.
Sitting down on the bed, I look at the ring on my left hand. It doesn’t feel like something given in love, but more of a ball and chain. I don’t want to end up like my mother, yet, unlike my mother I won’t be leaving a good man for a loser. I’ll be leaving a loser and abuser for a good man. One who I know will protect and look after me.