After my quick and steamy shower and testing out my new handmade apricot seed body scrub I glistened in a white one piece short set that left my back exposed and a pair of sling back wedges that were comfortable for walking. I adorned my wrists with layers of gold bangles and chain-linked bracelets with the matching hoop earrings (all my own creations but of course) that voguishly complimented my ensemble.
Standing in the mirror as I created the cat eye look with the assistance of my loyal black eyeliner I couldn’t help but to wonder why I always spent so much time beautifying myself. After all, all it did was attract attention that I wasn’t ready for. I looked like a million bucks but I didn’t feel that way inside. I was still struggling. If a guy who was actually worth my time asked me what I did for a living, what would I say?
“Well here’s to appearances.” I said while checking my behind in the mirror before turning off the light and walking out of the bathroom.
By the time we got downtown the sun had begun to cool off and the weather was beautiful. Kaia parked at Symphony Park and we took the free shuttle through downtown to the 18b Arts District.
“So what kind of artist is Ivan?” I asked as we stepped off the shuttle and began walking.
“He said he specializes in mixed media and photography. I’ve never seen his work before though.” She responded. “Look how crowded it is down here, I would have never known.”
“I know it’s nice.”
“So how’s work going with your sister’s magazine? What kind of work are you doing?” Kaia asked.
“Well, right now I’m assisting with putting together a social media marketing plan to get the word out there that there is a magazine. After that I’m going to begin working on a subscriber’s list, then research for cover stories for the next few months and yeah, it’s a lot.” I said as I stopped at a vendor to admire some handcrafted jewelry.
“Kaia look at this one.”
I picked up a brown leather cuff that had a silver medallion of a python and tried it on my wrist.
“It’s cute but I’m not really into snakes though.” She said studying the cuff.
“I love snakes as long as there not real.” I responded while inspecting the cuff on my wrist. It was nice but I was positive that I could do better. Out of curiosity I turned to face the artist and asked, “How much for this one?”
“Forty-five dollars for that piece,” the woman replied in a middle-eastern accent.
Kaia and I gave each other the ‘that’s way too overpriced’ look. Even if I had the forty-five dollars to spare, which I don’t, I would have expected to get at least two cuff’s for that amount. Besides it was extremely light in weight so I knew she probably skimped on quality materials. I made a note that if I was going to charge that much for a piece it had to be worth it.
“Thank you.” I said placing the cuff back down and grabbing Kaia’s arm and moving her away from this overpriced display table.
We continued walking through the Art District with no particular haste in finding Ivan anytime soon. We were enjoying the music, the arts and our conversation too much. We joined a crowd of onlookers who were admiring a street artist who was perfecting his sidewalk drawing. It was magical and reminded me of that scene in Mary Poppins where they found Bert drawing in the park and they all jumped into the picture.
“So I have a plan.” I said to Kaia as we stood amongst the crowd.
“A plan for what?”
“Not a plan for what, but to what. A plan during my countdown to thirty.”
She turned her attention from the street artist to face me, “I didn’t know we were coming up with a plan?”
“I have no choice, Nina was right I’ve been talking about starting a business for as long as she’s known me and today twelve years later I still haven’t. So I’ve formulated a plan.
“Okay, let me hear it.” She said encouragingly
Without a moment of doubt I told her everything from my epiphany in the car to my fantastic designs for Corrine’s bachelorette party. I unveiled my idea to create a business plan and a sales pitch to get my products in stores at small boutiques around the valley. Hearing it out loud made me feel even more confident in myself, but there was still that one thing holding me back, money.
“But…I don’t have the money yet but I do have a ton of bills.” I sighed, “I can’t do anything until I get these bills taken care of first.”
“Sonya if you’re waiting for everything to be perfect first you’ll never get started. Do you know how easy it is to start a business? I work with new businesses all the time. You don’t necessarily need to have a lot of money these days.”
“That’s true. I guess it’s a little scary to me still. I mean I know fashion and retail but since I didn’t complete my degree I still feel like there’s so much I don’t know.”
“But you’re never going to know everything, even with a degree. Personally, I’d prefer experience over a snooty degree any day. Just look at Rosie, she’s clueless. Besides if you start small you can work your way up. Plus you just so happen to have a friend who’s a very brilliant and talented graphic designer. I’m pretty sure she can give you a drop dead deal on a website whenever you’re ready.” She hinted waiting for me to take the bait.
My heart began to flutter like it had the moment the thought of my own jewelry line first came to me. Building my own business, my own brand, working for myself to achieve my dream and not someone else’s, it was all too exciting. Just the mere thought of having Kaia customize my website was enough to keep me motivated.
“Really, you’d do that for me?”
“Yes, but only under one stipulation though.”
“Okay, you got it.” I said agreeing before I even heard what it was.”
“You can’t doubt yourself anymore. If being a successful entrepreneur by thirty is your plan you have to go for it now, whatever it takes. You have to take that leap.”
We walked over to one of the many food trucks available and purchased hot dogs and sodas. We sat down at an Italian bistro style table and listened to the live music play while watching the diverse group of people that First Friday’s attracted.
“So what about you, how are you holding up?” I inquired
She shrugged her shoulders as she bit into her hot dog and with a mouthful she replied, “I still miss him. I don’t know what to do.”
“Just remember you don’t need his ass.” Then I shrieked with excitement, “Maybe you should try speed dating! You’re single, ready to mingle right? Hubby and kids by thirty, well hubby by thirty, kid by thirty-one.” I rambled on.
And as if she didn’t even hear the suggestion she continued, “I don’t know how you do it. Don’t you miss having somebody there to hold you close at night and make you laugh? Don’t you get…you know, horny sometimes Sonya?”
I gave her an insidious smile before responding. I don’t know how much of the truth she wants to hear but here’s to being honest.
“Well I masturbate so to answer your question yes I get horny but I take care of the details myself.” I replied plainly laying all cards on the table. “And I guess since I’m not interested in the dating game I could care less if anyone is holding me at night. As a matter of fact I prefer my space, thank God for space. Those lonely days are long gone for me girl, at least right now anyway.”
She looked at me inquisitively and whispered, “You do it with your fingers?”
I burst into laughter, “No crazy, that’s weak. A vibrator, a dildo you know.”
“You’re a freak like that?”
“That’s not being a freak is it?”
“Yes it is,” she chuckled, “A little bit. What does it look like?”
“You’ve never seen one before? Girl we’re going to have to go on a field trip. Mine is pink, twelve inches,” I said using my fingers to give her an approximate size.
“You’re so nasty. “She snickered, “Oh no, you’re not getting me in one of those stores. It’s just going to get me more
worked up and since me and Christian already almost had sex -”
I nearly jumped out of my seat, “You and Christian what!”
She immediately put her head down on the table in shame like she exposed something she’d vowed to take to the grave with her. No way was she getting out of this juicy story.
“Kaia, Kaia,” I sung her name as I pulled on her ponytail to get her attention until she finally elevated her head from the pits of embarrassment. “You and Christian almost did what?”
“Almost…almost…” she struggled to get the words out at first then blurted everything like it was weighing heavy on her heart and her G-Spot. “We almost had sex when he came over to give me a stun gun before going out of town and I never thought any guy besides Malcolm let alone Christian could get me wet at this point in my life but he did and I liked it but I felt like I was cheating and he’s been calling me but I haven’t talked to him since and he’s nearly my brother for God’s sake, oh my God what am I going to do!”
“Wow.”
Okay maybe it wasn’t the best response but it sure as hell was funny to watch her squirm. I shook my head in astonishment as I tried to process what she’d just told me. I’d never seen Christian before but based off Kaia’s past conversations about him I never thought she was attracted to him, but now this. From the head banging she was doing on the table I came to the conclusion she was officially freaking out and had a major problem on her hands.
In an effort to help I held out my hand, “Show me a picture of him.”
“Huh?”
“Show me his picture. I want to see what you’re dealing with. I’m sure you have one somewhere in your phone or he has a Facebook profile or something.”
Without saying a word she took a moment to swipe and tap at her phone until she was able to furnish a picture of this kiss stealing thief. Really I thought the notion was cute but based off the befuddled look on her face I could see she didn’t. It was painfully clear that she was still head-over-heels for that personal training, bald headed, self-centered, selfish asshole Malcolm. I would trade all the success in the world to be freed from the shackles of love with someone who didn’t seem to truly love me. It hurts, I know first-hand.
She shoved her phone in my hands then quickly put her head back down on the table after taking another bite of her hot dog. It only took a second for me to glance at his main profile picture and see that this Christian boy was fine. He made Malcolm look like a five.
“Damn, do you think you can resist all that?” I questioned
“Think?” She said sarcastically lifting her head from the table, “It was a mistake, an accident. There’s definitely nothing to resist.”
“Oh okay,” I said handing her phone back, “But sometimes you have to take that leap.”
“And what about you taking that leap?”
“I already told you. I’m going to start my business, I’m not going to let money or any of that shit get in the way.”
“I mean taking a leap into dating. Being smart about it, dating more responsibly instead of not dating at all,” She said giving me a skeptical look.
“Girl I have too much going on for that right now. It’s just a distraction from what I need to be focused on and that’s me. I have no money and no business as of yet, that’s embarrassing to me. I have absolutely nothing to bring to the table.”
You’re motivated and any good man will respect that.”
“Men don’t respect anything but their dicks. Most women can deal with that but I’m not most women. Thank you but no thank you.”
After finishing our hotdogs we ended up catching up with Ivan at a small but hip art gallery where some of his work was displayed. Kaia introduced us and then he gave us a tour of the gallery. It turned out that he was actually a really talented artist who was proud of his work. He showed us breathtaking landscapes he’d taken of the city showing off the desert beauty of Las Vegas. The portrait offered eye popping colors that only a true artist could capture in the desert and then also dramatic portraits of Las Vegas night life which he had illuminated with built-in lighting.
“You’re work is really good Ivan, I had no idea you were into photography.” Kaia said truly impressed.
“Thank you, I’ve been doing it for a while now. Ever since my tia and tio bought me a camera for my twelfth birthday I haven’t been able to put it down.” He said giving off a humble smile that showed he was proud we found his work impressive.
“Where did you shoot this one?” I asked him pointing to a 4’ x 3’ foot landscape hanging on the adjacent wall. The picture was beautiful and it reminded me of a utopia. An amazing waterfall of at least one hundred feet tall that seemed to glow white as it delicately cascaded down a tall mountain cliff into a pool of deep blue water. The pool of water and base of the mountain were surrounded by a vast outstretch of green land while it was all protected by a blue sky and billowy clouds.
“Aah Sonya, you have good taste.” Ivan said as the three of us moved closer and focused in on the portrait. “This one I took earlier this year at Niagara.”
“It’s breathtaking Ivan, what do you call it?” Kaia asked.
“Paradise, although I’ve recently considered renaming it Sonya,” He said in a seductive Spanish accent as he looked me up and down.
I didn’t want to be rude so I gave him a charming smile, then without uttering a word spoke to Kaia with my eyes telling her it was time to go. She was withholding a laugh but she got my message and managed to pull Ivan’s attention away from me. In less than five minutes we were exiting the art gallery and heading back towards the shuttle.
She linked arms with me as she teased, “Take a leap Sonya. Take a leap.”
I grinned from ear to ear as I politely told her to, “Shut up.”
That evening I walked into my apartment with a mixture of feelings from excitement to confusion. I felt alive after meeting people tonight who were reaching for their dreams. It made me feel like I could do it to; like there was nothing stopping me but me. Then I heard Kaia’s voice encouraging me to start dating again and Saundra’s voice badgering me about marriage and kids.
“Are they right?” I had to ask myself as I began sifting through the mail I’d placed on the counter earlier, “Credit card bill; medical bill; medical bill.”
It didn’t seem to matter that I didn’t have much money or that I’d been underemployed for the last year, these collection agencies were relentless. When I tried calling them after my layoff to see if they could suspend my payments they basically told me not a chance in hell then asked me if I could just borrow the money to pay off the balance. I just hung up. There was no point in arguing about the stupidity of that comment. I’d much rather be in debt with a heartless collection agency than a family member with whom I loved.
After removing my jewelry and makeup I slipped on a short white cotton nightgown and jumped in the bed with a bowl of Cookies N’ Cream ice cream. Boy was I glad my metabolism was still fast; this had to be my favorite late night snack.
The latest episode of Scandal had premiered so I channel surfed until the replay of this week’s episode came on. By the way, Kaia and I were now officially hooked on Ms. Olivia Pope and considered ourselves major fans of the show.
In the middle of my channel surfing I saw a familiar face flash on the screen. I turned back a few channels and long and behold I was right. That face was more than just familiar. The contour of the jaws and cold steely eyes disguised under an enticing gaze carved out a face I could never forget.
It was Lamont’s.
I gasped in sheer terror after realizing whose malicious eyes I was staring into. He was being featured in the developing story about the pregnant woman and the home invasion. His mug shot flashed in the right hand corner of the screen as the news commentators spoke about his arrest in an attempted murder plot against his girlfriend. He was the sorrowful boyfriend everyone was talking about, the so-called grieving fiancé pleading for justice and leads. Accord
ing to evidence found including a handgun all ties led back to him. He’d staged the whole thing and was taken into custody only two hours ago.
I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything I’d eaten for the past week. Tears streamed down my face as my head spun and my stomach clenched. I didn’t know whether to feel grateful that I was alive or guilty for not reporting him to the police years ago. That woman and her child we’re in the hospital nearly dead and Lamont was as guilty as sin. There was no way in hell he wasn’t, especially after what he did to me.
Twelve
Kaia
I pulled into my mother’s driveway at about eight in the morning with no particular expectations of how I wanted this weekend to turn out. In my heart I knew I wanted to rescue Riley from making the classic mistake of getting pregnant too young and holding off on school. That was my dream at least, but I knew the women in my family, including myself obviously, and we had a strong history of picking the wrong men.
My grandmother for example, was a single mother of six. My grandfather ran off and decided he didn’t want to deal with the responsibilities and left her alone to raise my mother, three aunts and two uncles. They never saw him again. My own mother hooked up with my father when they were back in high school and had Celeste when they were only seventeen. Then two years later I came, but by then their relationship was pretty much over. We saw him often throughout the years since he still lived in the same neighborhood, but my memories of him actually being a real father are scarce. The last time I’d seen him was six years ago. Now Riley’s dad I can say truly loved my mother, Riley, me and Celeste. The only problem with him though was that he was a fast talking hustler like my mother and he got killed in a drug deal when I was only ten. He was good to us, but he wasn’t the man I would pick for myself or my daughter.
I sat quietly in the driveway before getting out and relished at how beautiful the seventy-six degree weather felt. I had the windows rolled down and absorbed the cool breeze that blew against my face, the Hummingbirds that hovered over my mother’s Birds of Paradise and the white nineteen seventies house that I’d grown up in with the forest green trim. The small house all but screamed for a new paint job and a new fence for the front yard that didn’t sag, but my mother gave up on pressing that issue a long time ago. It took forever for the landlords to fix anything and yet, she wouldn’t move. She said this house was our home and she had it in her mind that she was going to buy it one day and give it a face lift.
The Countdown to Thirty Page 12