Dylan’s eyes fell away from my face to take in my near nakedness. I stood in my bra, panties, and sandals. Luckily I’d chosen a matching set this morning and, by the look on his face, he liked the lacey blue panties and bra. A flash of remembrance filled my head at how he looked without a shirt, how the rigidity of his muscles felt beneath my fingertips.
When our eyes met again, something had changed. My entire body eased, my breaths coming gentle and smooth. I didn’t blush when Dylan began to unbutton his jeans, and I saw the evidence of his arousal straining against his underwear. Instead, I felt a sense of pride that I’d been the one to do that to him. Out in this field, surrounded by overgrown grass, moonlight, and singing crickets, we were in a world of our own. The peacefulness of night eased my jittery nerves and allowed me to be in the moment.
Dylan took a step toward me, his eyes never leaving mine, and curled a hand around the back of my neck. The brush of his fingertips evoked goose bumps across my skin. Slowly, he leaned toward me and pressed his mouth against mine. My eyelids slipped closed as I memorized every sensation: his hot skin against mine, his hardness pressing into my waist, the heat of his mouth as he moved down my neck. All of it caused an unknown frenzy to unfurl within me. Was this what horny felt like?
“If you want to stop,” Dylan said as he masterfully unhooked my bra, “just say the word and we’ll stop.” He withdrew the garment from body and dropped it to the bed of his truck. His eyes roamed over my bare breasts and the air caught in my lungs before it shakily left my lips.
“I don’t want to stop,” I breathed as his thumb brushed over the hard nub of my breast. To prove how serious I was, I reached a hand out and cupped him. He sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes firelight as he stared down at me. A small smile curved one side of my mouth up, proud that I’d been brave enough to make the move. Since it was my last night, I wasn’t going to waste it with being shy. Once I left, I didn’t want to look back at his moment and wished I’d done more. I wanted to touch Dylan, so I touched him. I wanted to kiss him, so I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed him. The knowledge that this was it for us caused my bravery to reveal itself. I didn’t want to leave Dylan with the memory of a shy and awkward girl.
Together, we lowered ourselves to the pile of blankets. As soon as we were both in the horizontal position, Dylan was kissing me again. The sound of the radio and crickets faded away as blood filled my ears and the aroused side of my brain took over. I was more turned on than I’d ever been, and Dylan hadn’t even touched me between the legs yet.
My back arched slightly when he moved down my body and caught one of my nipples between his lips. Who knew this would feel that good? The suction of his mouth, paired with his wandering hand as it made its way between my legs, left me breathless. If sex felt nearly as good as this, I didn’t have anything to worry about. Maybe Lily’s boyfriend didn’t have the power to turn her into a pile of warm goo like Dylan did. I raked my fingers through Dylan’s hair and stared up at the starry sky as he moved down my body. When his hand cupped my sex, his fingers adding pressure to the sensitive spot, I gasped and brought my eyes back to what he was doing. Dylan had moved between my legs, his eyes focused on my body. I watched as he stood up, an Adonis before me, and removed his underwear. I could feel my eyes widening at seeing his nudity, but I couldn’t stop myself from gawking. Since this was the first penis I saw, I wasn’t sure if it was considered big, but the sight of it made me anxious to experience it.
Dylan reached for his jeans, removed his wallet, and retrieved a foil square. Without a word, he lowered himself to me again, placing the condom off to the side. As I watched him, I realized I’d never seen his eyes so … bright before. The emotion swimming through them could only be described as hungry, and he was staring at me like a main course.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” he murmured, positing himself between my legs. “Every inch of you is perfect.” He said the last part as though amazed. I wanted to correct him, tell him nothing about me was perfect, but I didn’t want to break the spell between us.
When he gripped either side of my underwear, I lifted my hips to help him in getting them off. His fingers brushed my legs as he drew them away. He tossed them over his shoulder, his eyes cemented on me. This was the most exposed I’d ever been in front of anyone, other than doctors, of course. A sliver of shyness seeped in before I took a deep breath and pushed it away.
“You doing okay?” Dylan asked, his eyes connecting with mine.
I swallowed hard and nodded. “Yes.”
“I’m going to go down on you first,” Dylan said and then paused to gauge my reaction. At first, I had no clue what he was talking about, not until he lowered his body between my legs so that his face was up close and personal with my sex. He was really testing my strength at holding back my shyness. I could feel the heat creeping into my face by the second.
“Uh, you don’t have to …” I could feel the breath from his laugh on my folds and shivered.
“But I want to,” Dylan said, and just to prove his point, his tongue flicked out against my clit with enough pressure that my legs involuntarily squeezed together. Relaxing, I eased my thighs apart again and concentrated on my breathing.
“Most girls don’t have orgasms their first times,” Dylan was saying while he took breaks to lick and kiss between my legs. “You’re going to.” Then he proceeded to keep his promise, his mouth hot against me as his tongue did things I did not know were possible. My shyness quickly disappeared while I lost myself to the neediness of the want he had provoked. When the pleasure reached a crescendo, an orgasm to rival the one he’d given me the other night shot through my body and left me adrift. My limbs quickly became too heavy to lift, my head caught in a sea of dense fog.
Dylan’s face appeared above mine. A sheer sheen coated his lips, and even then, I wasn’t self-conscious. I was too damn relaxed to care.
“You’re like a piece of fucking art when you come, Princess.”
“And you’re like a magician,” I heard myself saying before I could stop. Dylan chuckled, lowering his mouth to press a soft kiss to my lips.
“Well, hold onto your seat, because I’m about to make your virginity disappear.”
I gaped at him, laughing through my shock that he’d said that. Dylan smiled down at me, his arm reaching for the foil packet. My laughter fell silent as I watched him rip the condom wrapper open and slip the latex over his erection, all the while trying not to focus on how quickly he did so—like a pro.
“You’re still sure about this?” Dylan had situated himself between my legs, pressed against my folds, just waiting for permission to enter.
Taking a deep breath, I said, “Yes, I’m sure.”
Dylan brought his mouth to mine again, his tongue slipping between my lips. He moved his hips forward and began burying himself in me. My muscles tensed at the stinging pain, my heart rate kicking up ten notches as he moved painfully slow. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on kissing him, but the searing agony was all I could focus on. He was still pushing forward, still working on getting all of himself inside of me.
When I felt his hips meet mine, the ache intensified. Dylan held himself up on his hands and stared down at me.
“Doing okay?”
I released a heavy breath. “It hurts.”
“I know, baby. I’m going to go as slow as I can, okay?”
“Yeah, okay. Slow is good.” My voice came out a tad bit shaky.
“I’m not going to last that long,” Dylan admitted. “Not with you, not with how tight you are.”
What was I supposed to say to that? Luckily, Dylan saved me from having to respond and picked back up kissing me. With gentleness, he rocked his hips against mine. I willed my muscles to relax, knowing if I remained so wound up it was only going to keep hurting. To get my attention off the pain, I concentrated on the way his hair felt between my fingers, the huff of his breath as he worked his body against mine, the sweat collecting along his
back. It was enough, and I found my body winding down from the stress. Sex came with the oddest sensations: a mixture of pain laced with moments of pleasure. I knew with a little more practice, the pain would fade and only pleasure would remain.
Dylan’s calloused hand roamed over my breast, his mouth quickly following as he sucked the hard peak into his mouth. I moaned, remembering how talented that tongue was. Dylan groaned, his hips picking up speed. The stinging pain was now a dull throb, and I was able to enjoy the moment rather than worry about it anymore. I felt him twitch inside of me right before he let out one of the sexiest moans I’d ever heard.
After we got dressed, we sat on the tailgate of my truck. I’d had a lot of sex before, but that was a first for me, too. That wasn’t sex … that was…something else. Making love? Fuck. I hated myself for waiting so long to talk to her. Why had I waited so long?
“I don’t want this to be over,” I told her and reached for her hand. Pushing my pride to the side, I said, “We can make it work. People do long distance all the time, right?”
Brooke squeezed my hand, her eyes focused on our joined fingers. A curtain of blonde hair fell and hid her face from my view.
“Dylan…”she began. “It wouldn’t work. You’d start resenting me for leaving, and I would constantly worry that another girl was in your bed.” She lifted her head and met my eyes. “Let’s not ruin tonight by forcing something that can’t work. Tonight, this memory, it’ll be something we can always look back on.”
Why did my chest hurt so goddamn much? “So, that’s it? We share these amazing days together and you want to leave it in your rearview mirror?”
“Think about it, Dylan,” she said, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Can you really see this working out? I’ll be swamped with classes and homework, and you and Jase will be new business owners soon. Our lives will be too busy to just pick up and drive to see each other. Eventually the strain will tear us apart. I don’t want to end on bad terms with you. I just want this,” she squeezed my hand again, “this memory with you.”
Common sense told me she was probably right, but I didn’t give a fuck about common sense right now. The only thing I could concentrate on was the fact that come tomorrow, Roseville would be without the only girl I cared about.
“Is that really what you want?” I asked, shocked I was the one begging for more instead of the other way around.
Before she could answer, red and blue flashing lights lit up the night. Sheriff McDonald’s patrol car slowly came up the overgrown dirt path, stopping just behind my truck. The driver’s side door opened, and Sheriff McDonald got out and made his way over to us. I’d had a few run-ins with the Sheriff, thanks to Jase’s bad temper. Needless to say, the good ol’ Sheriff didn’t think much of the likes of me.
“Now why am I not surprised to find you at the end of a police call?” he asked me.
“Someone called you?” Brooke said, hopping down from the tailgate.
The Sheriff tipped his balding head. “Your parents,” he replied. “Took me a while to find you, but they’ll be happy to know you’re safe.
I remembered Brooke’s cell ringing earlier tonight and sighed. If she had answered it, maybe the Sheriff wouldn’t be giving me the stink eye right now.
“Get your things,” he said to Brooke, “I’ll drive you home.”
“Sir,” I said, hopping down from the truck, “I’ll drive her home.” I wasn’t done talking to Brooke, convincing her that we could make long distance work.
He shook his head, the motion causing his swollen belly to shake. “I think it’s best if you just go on home, Mr. Crawford.”
I was just about to argue with the Sheriff when Brooke turned toward me. She placed a hand on my arm and looked up at me. A sad smile curled her pink lips, and those unshed tears still clung to her eyes.
“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s probably better if he takes me home anyway.” She nibbled on her upper lip, heaving a heavy sigh before looking back up to my eyes. “Thank you, for everything. You made these last few days the best I’ve had.” I watched in awe as a single tear left her eye and trailed down her cheek.
Before I could respond, she turned around and headed toward the Sheriff’s car. He gave me a long look before heading back to the car, too.
“Brooke,” I called, taking a step forward. She didn’t turn around; instead, she looked over her shoulder. Why weren’t the thoughts in my head coming out of my mouth? I was shell-shocked, speechless. I could feel the severity of the moment, the closeness of losing her, and yet, I just stood there, staring.
“Come on,” Sheriff McDonald said, “let’s get you home.”
I watched the patrol car back down the dirt path, willing Brooke to look up at me. She didn’t.
As I packed my car with the last of my stuff, I thought about Dylan. Sheriff McDonald hadn’t told my parents who I was with last night, saying he didn’t want to cause problems with the folks. That didn’t mean I didn’t get a lecture—just wasn’t from my parents. Sheriff McDonald took it upon himself to let me know that I should not get involved with a guy like Dylan Crawford.
“You’re going places,” he had said with a smile. “And Dylan Crawford will only hold you back. That boy and his friend have been thorns in Roseville’s side ever since his mama died.”
I sat quietly in the passenger side of his car, staring out the window and wishing I had handled the whole situation better. Dylan had to hate me now.
“Got everything?”
I spun around and faced my mother. My daddy already left for work, claiming he had an important client to prepare for. I figured either he hated the idea of saying goodbye, or he just didn’t care. I told them last night that James and I had broken up, and I needed time away from everyone at the party to clear my head. I figured it was the only believable excuse and decided listening to their lecture for one night was better than telling them the truth. Besides, it wasn’t all a lie; James and I had broken up. They just didn’t know that Dylan Crawford was the one replacing James.
“Yeah, I think so,” I said.
“You have the address for the apartment so you can program it into your GPS?”
I knew my leaving was the hardest on my mother. She had already had two mimosas and began crying early this morning. She didn’t bother to erase the mascara smudges, knowing she would just mess up her makeup with more tears. She hugged her arms to her thin frame, her lips turned down in a subtle frown.
“Yes, I did that first thing this morning.” I took a step toward her and reached my arms out to encompass her in a hug. Taken aback, it took her a moment to embrace me. We rarely hugged or showed affection, but I knew she needed it. When her arms came around my waist, I could feel her body sag against mine and hear her sniffle as she started crying again.
“Mama?”
“Hmm?”
“I’ll be okay, and I want you to be happy.”
She leaned back to study my face. With a shaky hand, she swiped the tears from her blotchy cheeks.
“I am happy,” she said defensively. “I am just worried about you. You’ve been pampered your whole life, and I worry about you living on your own.”
I wanted to breach the subject of her random pity parties, but that was a can of worms I didn’t have time to open. She would not take kindly to being questioned by her eighteen-year-old daughter, and I didn’t want to leave with us fighting.
“I won’t be alone; Lily will be with me, and we’ll both be fine.”
“I’m sure you will,” she said, holding her head high as though that would fool me into believing she was holding it together. “You should get on the road, and no cell phone while you’re driving.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I hugged her one last time and then got in my car and drove away from the only home I had ever known. As I headed down the one road that led out of town, I thought about calling Dylan. I needed to apologize for last night, but I couldn’t bring myself to dial his number
. No matter how much apologizing I did, it wouldn’t change the fact that I was on my way to school. My life was heading one way and Dylan’s another, our paths doomed to never cross.
Dropping my cell in my purse, I watched Roseville get smaller and smaller through my rearview mirror. I thought I saw Dylan’s truck parked down one of the side streets I passed, but I couldn’t make it out through my mirror. It was probably my hopeful mind playing tricks on me. Sending a silent goodbye to the boy who had made me feel things I never experienced, I thanked him for waking me up from my sleeping state. I knew he would visit Dana at the campus from time to time and just hoped I could make things up to him then. I didn’t know it would be four months before I ever laid eyes on him again.
September
It’d been two weeks since I’d left Roseville, and every moment was spent wondering about Dylan. What is he doing? Who is he doing? Is he thinking about me as much as I’m thinking about him? I kept my cell close, always checking the screen in hopes of finding a text or missed call from the mechanic I left behind. Maybe I’d been stupid to tell him that long distance relationships didn’t work. Truth was, I believed they could. I just wasn’t confident that one would work between us. I’d fallen for Dylan—given him my body—but I didn’t know how he felt. For years, I’d watched him go from one girl to another. Wouldn’t it have been narcissistic to think he’d change for me? Maybe it was the one-sidedness of our relationship that caused me to snap the ties between us.
Whenever I thought back to that night, the way I told him it wouldn’t work, it caused an unbelievable sense of regret. I’d been so calm about it, so sure of what I was saying. It was a ruse, though. Inside, I felt sick to my stomach. Knowing that Dylan wanted to explore what was between us was literally a fantasy coming true. However, how long would that fantasy play out before someone came along and popped my bubble? Dylan wasn’t the boy-next-door type, the kind who you could count on because they never stepped out of their box. This meant that I couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t get itchy being in a relationship—a long distance one at that. His edginess attracted me so I couldn’t fault him for it. Walking away was the only way I could protect that night. It’d been everything to me, giving him my virginity and trust. I didn’t want to taint it should things end badly between us. Silly, yes, but I wasn’t one of those girls who thought they could change the tiger’s stripes—reform the bad boy. I was the girl who admired the wildness of the beast and knew that it could never be tamed.
Turning Home (A Small Town Novel) Page 13