Individual status:
Lt. Colonel Nicholas Quesen—Deceased
Major Jonas Matthews—exhibiting symptoms of high levels of stress.
Captain Justin Petri— exhibiting symptoms of high levels of stress. Observed erratic behavior including symptoms of paranoia and delusional thoughts. Having difficulty coping. Possibly violent tendencies.
Dr. Maria Parker—severely degraded psychological state. Passive-aggressive actions have been observed along with threats and behavior that indicates possibly violent tendencies. May be responsible for damage to ship systems including sabotage of crew life support systems. Development of a second personality has occurred and the second personality is appearing on a more frequent basis. Dr. Parker is a danger to the crew.
Dr. Rebecca Lennon— exhibiting symptoms of high levels of stress. Having difficulty coping with everyday situations. Has symptoms of psychosis including auditory and visual hallucinations combined with paranoia.
Kyle Abrams—degraded psychological state. Erratic behavior observed indicates Paranoid delusions and symptoms of psychosis including auditory and visual hallucinations.
----
Crew observations:
Crew has not performed assigned duties in two days. Crew status will remain non-functional without intervention.
----
Recommendations:
Recommend mission abort for the safety and security of the crew.
End of report from seeker 3.
TRANSMISSION: END
TRANSMISSION: START
Seeker 3
Incoming message from Mission Control. Receipt time 2201z, 1801 mission time
Subject: request for abort
----
Seeker 3: Crew status noted. Indications of paranoia and psychosis noted. Check internal atmospheric conditions and report. Perform complete subsystems check, clean, and reboot and advise when complete. Request for abort is denied and is not possible due to orbital parameters. Send two-person verification of crew health via Major Matthews and Captain Petri.
Mission Control out.
----
TRANSMISSION: END
Day Ninety-Three
Lennon had never seen Matthews angry and had not expected to be the focus of her first experience with his anger. She was just moving out of her sleeping area when he pulled himself into the Women’s Quarters with an agitated look on his face.
He was not supposed to come in unannounced, but she did not mind. She had slept wonderfully. Still, she was not sure if Parker was dressed. “Sir, you can’t c—”
“How dare you,” he interrupted.
“What?”
He pointed a finger in her face. “How dare you go above my head and try to undermine the mission.”
“Sir, I didn’t und—”
“I saw the transmission, Lennon, and the report from Mission Control. Who do you think you are? We have a chain of command here, and we have it for a reason.”
“There were extenuating circumstances.” She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. This was not going well. She was starting to remember what was in the transmission and it filled her stomach with a sinking feeling.
“Major Jonas Matthews,” he shouted, “Exhibiting symptoms of high levels of stress.”
“Well, yes, but that wasn’t it, I—”
“Was I incapacitated, Lennon?”
She did not like the way he was yelling at her. It made her feel weak, small, and incompetent. She had always prided herself on being emotionally strong, but the events of the past few days were taking their toll. Despite every effort to fight it, she could feel her eyes welling up. “Well, no, but…”
“Was I somehow unable to function as Commander of this crew?”
“No, but…”
“Where do you get off going above my head? I am the Commander of this ship and you owe me that respect.”
The tears filled her eyes and blocked her vision. She tried to wipe them away but they kept coming and would not go away. “Jonas, I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
“Why don’t you call me ‘Major Matthews’,” he said harshly.
She tried to blink and wipe her eyes with her shirt but nothing was working. All that she could see through the tears was a vague blob where he hovered in front of her. She longed to be in normal gravity again, where the tears would drain away. Parker had been right; when she cried her sinuses filled and it became difficult to breathe.
“I can’t even see you, Major Matthews,” she cried, pointing to her eyes.
He did not answer for a few seconds, and she could not tell what he was thinking. She pictured him looking down on her, loathing, thinking about how weak she was for crying.
He touched her hand and spoke in a soft voice. “We all get stressed out, Rebecca. We all have times when we feel like there are no other solutions. That’s ok.
“I’ve known you for five years, Lennon,” he continued. “You should have come to me first—as the commander… or as a friend.”
She took his hand in hers. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been dealing with a lot—I know that’s not an excuse—but I made a really poor judgment.”
He snatched his hand away. “I’m ordering you and Parker to quarters for the next forty-eight hours for mandatory crew rest and recuperation. Use it to recharge and get yourself back in order.”
“You’re locking me in here with her?”
“Yes.” He breathed deeply. “We are going to take turns watering your plants and feeding the rats for you.” He paused, leaned in, and whispered in her ear. “I know you are worried about your safety. I assure you that there is nothing to worry about—Parker just needs rest. However, as your friend, I will be personally monitoring the intercom. If you need anything, just push the button and I will be here.” He pulled away.
“Parker,” he called, to the other side of the room. “You heard me, forty-eight hours. I want you to rest, ok? This is to help you pull yourself together.”
“Oh,” she said, smugly, “Have I been a bad girl, Commander?”
“Show some respect, Parker.”
“Yes, sir!” she said with mock enthusiasm. Lennon cleared her eyes just enough to see Parker give an over-exaggerated salute as Matthews shook his head and left the room. “So I guess we get some time off,” she said to Lennon after Matthews was gone.
Lennon did not answer.
“Oh come on, Lennon, don’t be mad at me. After all, you’re not the ‘Severely degraded psychological state’, hmm?”
“Where did you hear that? You don’t have access to the medical records.”
“No,” she answered. “But Dish has access to the ship comms and he saw what you wrote. He told me about it. Guess he must have waited ’till now to tell Matthews. He sure was hot, huh?”
Lennon did not answer. She did not know what to say.
“Don’t worry, Lennon. I don’t hold it against you. After all, you’re crazy like me, hmm?”
“I’m not crazy.”
“Oh yeah? Who was the one who locked herself up for six hours? You think no one else noticed. Or the time before? How long have you been having anxiety attacks?” She laughed. “You’re crazy all right. We both are. I have just come to terms with it and am going to take the Major’s advice. Our only hope of success in this mission is to clear our heads and get sane.” She turned and leaned out of her sleeping area. “Want to know a secret?”
Lennon did not answer. Parker continued anyway. “I had anxiety attacks too. That’s how I was able to recognize yours. I had them so bad that I decided to try to get treatment—but I didn’t want it to show up in my medical record.”
“You said you had them. Are they gone?” Lennon asked quietly.
“I went to a mystic healer. Can you believe that? Two days before the launch. I was so stressed out.”
“Like a holistic thing?”
“I didn’t know; I heard about this woman from a friend. Anyway, I get there and she’s like, kind of a gypsy or
something. She led me through some chants and a séance and she sprinkled some salt around me. She said that she put a protective spell on me because spirits were causing my anxiety. I didn’t buy any of it.”
“Do you still have the anxiety attacks?”
“I did at first,” she said quietly. “It’s why I stole the medicine. Surprisingly, they stopped recently, although I don’t think that it is because of the healer. I think that when I decided to face my condition, I overcame it. I think it was a psychological thing.”
Parker had shown signs of improvement. Maybe Lennon needed to face her fears. Admit that she had a problem, face it head on, and try to defeat it. She decided to confide in Major Matthews as soon as she got a chance to talk to him. She hoped that he would still want to talk after what she had done.
“There’s another secret that I have,” Parker offered.
Lennon looked at her but did not prod her to continue. Parker continued anyway. “I sleepwalk,” she said. Have since I was four. I have the craziest dreams and wake up in the weirdest places. It hasn’t happened in a while, though, at least not that I’m aware of. I have found that elevated stress makes it happen, so I am surprised it hasn’t happened yet. I hope it doesn’t freak you out if you see it.”
“No, I’ll be ok,” Lennon lied.
“Thanks, Lennon, I appreciate it. We’ll just keep these things our little secrets. You know, your anxiety attacks and my sleepwalking. It’s not like I could sleepwalk here anyway.”
Lennon slid her door shut and latched it. Was she crazy? Could the problems she was experiencing be because of her, not Parker? She put on her headphones, played some music, and drifted back to sleep.
TRANSMISSION: START
Mission Control Station
Incoming message from Seeker 3. Day 93, Receipt time 1115z, 0715 mission time
Subject: crew status
From: Major Jonas Matthews, Commander, and Captain Jonas Petri, Pilot, Seeker 3
----
Crew status: Degraded
Individual status:
Lt. Colonel Nicholas Quesen—Deceased
Major Jonas Matthews—exhibiting symptoms of high levels of stress.
Captain Justin Petri— exhibiting symptoms of high levels of stress. Maj. Matthews and Capt. Petri do not concur with diagnosis by Dr. Rebecca Lennon, as symptoms other than indicators of high stress have not been observed.
Dr. Maria Parker—severely degraded psychological state. Passive-aggressive actions have been observed along with threats and behavior that indicates possibly Violent tendencies. May be responsible for damage to ship systems including sabotage of crew life support systems. Development of a second personality has occurred and the second personality is appearing on a more frequent basis. Dr. Parker is a Danger to the crew. Maj. Matthews and Capt. Petri concur with diagnosis by Dr. Rebecca Lennon; however, the termination of self-medication practices has reduced symptoms to negligible concern.
Dr. Rebecca Lennon— exhibiting symptoms of high levels of stress. Having difficulty coping with everyday situations. Has symptoms of psychosis including auditory and visual hallucinations with paranoia. Maj. Matthews and Capt. Petri concur with diagnosis by Dr. Rebecca Lennon.
Kyle Abrams—degraded psychological state. Erratic behavior observed indicating high levels of stress. Maj. Matthews and Capt. Petri do not concur with diagnosis by Dr. Rebecca Lennon, as additional symptoms have not been observed.
----
Crew observations:
Crew duties were temporarily halted due to high stress levels and a situation with the life support system that is currently under investigation. With the exception of Dr. Parker and Dr. Lennon, crew has resumed normal duties.
----
Recommendations:
Mission has continued uninterrupted despite the lack of active participation by the crew. Dr. Parker and Dr. Lennon have been assigned to quarters for a mandatory period of no longer than 48 hours for crew rest and recuperation. Transmission of health assessment will occur after the period of quarters is completed. During the Quarters, Remaining crew will rotate to achieve continuous monitoring of Dr. Lennon and Dr. Parker to ensure safety and security of the crew and to assess the psychological health of both of the crewmembers on quarters.
End of report from seeker 3.
TRANSMISSION: END
Day One Hundred
Major Matthews was sitting—if you could call it that—legs crossed and completely upside down relative to the section designated the ‘floor’. The designation of a floor was a psychological benefit; any of the six sides of a cube could function as the ‘floor’, and orientation was mostly in the mind of the observer. Nevertheless, Lennon was the observer, and Matthews appeared to be floating upside down.
She saw him through the open door of the Men’s Quarters, floating in his sleeping area and holding a book. She tapped on the wall.
He looked up and smiled. “Come in!”
She entered awkwardly through the small doorway. The period of rest had helped her greatly, and during the last week, the crew was working together and the level of stress had dropped considerably. “Is that a real book?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Why would you bring a real book? We have readers. That’s just taking space from personal items.”
“It’s a Bible,” he said as he held it up. “It doesn’t get more personal than that.”
She gave a curt nod. “Doesn’t it have an electronic version?”
“Yes, but I like the feel of holding it in my hands. I like to see my notes in the margins.”
Lennon moved next to him and was surprised to see small, distinct words in perfect, determined handwriting, filling up the margins of the small book.
“I didn’t know you were religious.”
“I am. I tend to keep it to myself. I find it deeply… personal.”
“Why don’t you talk about it?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I’m shy, I guess, when it comes to that.”
“I guess I just assumed…”
“No one knows the heart, Rebecca. Only God. It’s impossible to know someone else’s beliefs for sure. I would wager there are even pastors who may not be right with God—perhaps some that might think their choice of profession alone will save them. On the other hand, many who are considered sinners may be going to heaven.”
She was silent for a moment, thinking. She hugged her knees and changed the subject. “What are you going to do when you get back home?”
He leaned his head back and smiled, as if the thoughts going through his head were comforting. “I have some land.”
“Really? How much?”
“Ten acres. Not much, for a business venture, but I want to farm it. I want to grow things, with my own hands, you know? I just want to tend the land. Get away from it all—the city, the noise, the crime.”
She grinned at him. “After all that teasing about tending to my ‘flowers’!”
He returned the smile. “That was mostly Dish—besides, that teasing was in jest. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t like you.”
She wondered what he meant by that. She did not have the courage to ask. “You know,” she began, “I don’t own the Atrium. If you ever have any extra time, you know you can come down there and spend some time—by yourself, or…with me.” She looked into his eyes and there was a moment so intense she had to look away.
“Thank you, Lennon. I appreciate that. I might do that.”
Day One Hundred and Twenty
TRANSMISSION: START
Mission Control Station
Incoming message from Seeker 3. Receipt time 1947z, 1547 mission time
Subject: Weekly physical and mental health report, week 17
From: Dr. Rebecca Lennon, physical and mental health officer, Seeker 3
----
Crew status: Healthy and functional
Individual status:
Lt. Colonel Nicholas Quesen—Deceased
Major Jonas Matthews— Within acceptable norms.
Captain Justin Petri—Within acceptable norms.
Dr. Maria Parker—Sporadic monitoring has been terminated as status has stabilized. Within acceptable norms.
Dr. Rebecca Lennon—Within acceptable norms.
Kyle Abrams—Within acceptable norms.
----
Crew observations:
Crew is healthy, functional, and operating as a cohesive unit. No notable problems. Crew is feeling energized by the approaching date for the Delta V maneuver to place us into a parking orbit around Mars.
----
Recommendations:
Continue current operations without major modifications.
End of report from seeker 3.
TRANSMISSION: END
Day One Hundred and Eighty
The crewmembers each had strapped themselves into the seats on the flight deck. Lennon could not help but notice the empty seat where Col. Quesen was supposed to sit. She swallowed and looked away.
“Burn completed,” said Dish dryly, flipping a switch and staring at the monitor in the center of the console. “Parking orbit achieved.”
“I concur,” said Major Matthews. “Parking orbit achieved. Abrams, you’re up.”
“Ah, got it. Checking state of health.” He typed on a small keyboard and stared at a flat screen monitor installed into the back of Major Matthews’ chair. “State of health complete. Everything’s good.”
“That’s it.” Matthews unbuckled his seatbelt.
“That was easy,” commented Dish. “I guess the sim time paid off.”
“Don’t break out the champagne just yet, Captain Petri. We still have de-orbit and landing in four days.”
“Hey, one step at a time, Major. I take every win I can get.”
“Fair enough, Captain.”
Lennon made her way quickly to the ChowBucket, and she and Parker traded turns looking out the window. Mars. It was right below them, huge and imposing, calling with an even stronger intensity than ever.
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