He held her hand filled with soil. Her eyes snapped open.
“Sorry, are you okay?” he asked.
“Zach can’t stay out of your meditation,” Logan said, giving Zach’s shoulder a little shove.
Nat closed her eyes, then lay on the ground. “It’s okay. I could only get so far. Why can’t I push through?”
Logan brushed her hair out of her face. “You’ll see what you’re meant to see only when you’re meant to see it.”
“You’re not supposed to be in pain while meditating.” Zach massaged her tight shoulders.
“I know, but I can’t fix it. Whatever it is, I can’t stop it.” She slapped the blanket.
“That’s some relief. It’s fate, and you can’t mess with it.” Logan kissed her forehead.
Rubbing the dirt off her hands, then onto her shirt, she said, “Then why get the damn vision? Why can’t I help?”
“Maybe you can? Maybe you’ll help fewer people get hurt? Or stop whatever it is once it hits? Who knows?” Zach suggested. He hated seeing her so helpless. His natural instinct to protect her rammed into overdrive, but he didn’t want to push her away.
“She should step back and stay out of it. The stress on her isn’t helping,” Logan replied.
“If she’s having nightmares, she can’t control it,” Zach shot back. Logan could be such an ass.
Logan glared at Zach. “She can’t save the world. No one can play God.”
“Stop it!” She sat up and wiped her face, which became streaked with tears. “I don’t want you two fighting. I couldn’t save my parents, but this isn’t about them. Honestly, I want to help. It’s just frustrating because I care about this town. It’s not like giving a reading to a stranger or getting a vision of a hurricane on the coast. It’s here, in Green Leaf.”
“Sorry, I’m not much help. We have different approaches.” Logan kissed her lips. “The coven will be by tonight, so you can discuss your vision with them then. No pressure.”
Zach relaxed. Logan could be a jerk, but he usually made up for it.
She rolled her shoulders. “Thanks. I’m fine. Just frustrated with myself.”
“It’s not your fault. None of it is. You’re a strong psychic, but you can’t see and control everything. That’s not the way it works.”
She cast him a sidelong glance. “Is that you or Aunt Lorraine talking?”
He smiled. “Lorraine can speak for herself. See you guys tonight. I’ve still got some work to do.”
Zach kept his mouth shut as he stroked Nat’s hair, watching Logan hike back across the flat field toward his car.
“You two seem fine and then turn into bickering, grumpy old men.” She shook her head.
“You want the truth?” he asked.
“Of course.”
“If Logan were here, he’d get mad if I said this. He wants to protect you. Make it all nice and keep you here. I want that too, but I can’t lie to you—that Logan is lying. He’s just trying not to burden you.” Zach didn’t want to hurt Nat either, but the truth was the truth.
“I’m tougher than I look. Tell me.” She put her head on his shoulder. “You two were always the solid couple who supported and loved each other—flaws and all.”
“We still are, except the balance is off. We’re not meant to be a couple. You were always in the mix. As a triad, with you, the balance is there. The flow of needs, wants, and strengths worked best that way. Lately, it’s off-center. Logan and I love each other but—”
“It’s not the same,” she said.
“No, it’s not. We’re missing you. We’re not meant to be gay men. We’re incomplete as a couple, and neither of us can change that. He doesn’t want to pressure you directly, I know. Neither do I.”
“I understand.” She kissed his cheek. “But I’m here now.”
“Maybe for a week or a month. Until we know it’s forever, the tension won’t subside. He’ll think I’m pushing too hard, and then he’ll make efforts in his way. He thinks he’s so subtle, but he’s not.” Zach laughed.
“Like his aunt and the whole coven coming by tonight,” she said. “It’s Logan.”
“Yep, and we love him. But without you, it’s not right. We’ll pick at each other.” Zach plucked a dandelion from the grass and tossed it.
“But you’re still together. That’s something.” She smiled. The way the sun shone on Nat’s face made her smile all the warmer.
“For now. I have a feeling once the holidays rolled around, if you didn’t come back, things might’ve changed. People ask me how we ended up in three-way relationship, and I don’t even know. It was fate and attraction. I can’t be totally happy in a one-on-one relationship. Maybe I need to go to the city?” Zach joked.
“You’d hate it.” She laughed.
“I know, but if what I want isn’t here…maybe I have to go looking for it.” He didn’t want to ask her directly if she’d stay. He’d already said far too much. “You know I don’t mean any of this as pressure.”
“No, I know.” She hugged him. “Honesty is what made us work. Logan was honest earlier too. He wants to protect me. He doesn’t want me to go after the painful stuff or hard visions, while you understand the drive to help. The need to know what it means isn’t something I can ignore. He never understood that. We were a great group. We are one.”
“I know. Your brother may never think so. It’s about us. Not him—or the town.” Zach let her go, then stood. “I better get back to work.”
“I didn’t say I was leaving the day after Halloween.” After getting to her feet, Nat dusted off her clothes. He brushed away the hair the wind had swept into his eyes so he could better appreciate her natural beauty.
“I know, but you might. Until you decide, I have to be okay with any option. You’ve got a lot of power in your hands, and you don’t even realize it. Thanks for lunch.” Zach shook out the blanket, then handed it to her.
“Sure. I love you both still. You know that, right? I didn’t sleep with anyone else. There were plenty of options—and interested men.” She folded the blanket, then tucked it neatly into the picnic basket.
“I believe you. I don’t care about the past. Logan focuses on it more than I do. All I want is a happy future with you and Logan. The rest is beyond my control.” He strolled toward the barn. He knew he’d be less than productive this afternoon while his mind wandered on the possibilities.
Just like the weather, Nat was something more powerful and far out of his control. But farmers had been contending with those elements for centuries. He could handle it…whichever way the wind blew.
* * * *
Even after a delicious dinner by Logan’s Aunt Lorraine, Nat’s brain still pulsed. Zach had told her the truth, and she was grateful. She’d had a hard time imagining her two men fighting or out of balance without her. It might not be as perfect as they were when all three were together, but their connection strengthened her.
As the coven buzzed over one of the member’s gluten-free pumpkin bread, Nat let her piece sit untouched. She hung back, even when the ladies attempted to coax her into conversation. Sitting around the living room, the coven of farmers’ wives, widows, and some single witches made her feel at home.
“So are we going to have to drag it out of you?” Lorraine asked.
“I’m fine, really. I’m so glad to see everyone. I did learn a lot and grow during my experience in Chicago,” Nat replied.
She wanted to hide in the kitchen with the men. Doing the dishes would be better than feeling like she was under the microscope. She was still the same person as before, although a little more advanced, but Nat wanted to ease back into the group. She wasn’t ready to be the focus.
“We know that. I can feel your aura from here. But what drew you back? The men?” Cecily asked.
Cecily was a year ahead of Nat in school and worked at Lorraine’s beauty shop.
Nat stopped worrying and let the familiar faces soothe her. “I missed everyone. My cousin, Ra
ndy, was wonderful, but so many strangers and such a huge city were sometimes too much. It’d never feel like Green Leaf.” She deliberately omitted the part about the haunting dreams.
“So you’re staying?” Cecily asked. The petite, fair-skinned woman looked angelic in a yellow ankle-length dress.
“Nothing mystical drew you back?” Lorraine hopped on the question train.
Nat avoided the question. “I’m not sure about staying forever. I don’t know yet where I belong. Chicago was never permanent. I needed to challenge myself, not run away.” Was it true? Had she run away from her brother and the town’s judgment?
“People missed you. Small towns love to gossip, but you’re strong enough to handle it. One man or two, Green Leaf needs you,” Cecily said.
“Thanks, that’s sweet. But ‘need’ is a strong word.” Nat stared at her dessert while nervously playing with her plastic fork.
“‘Need’ is the right word. You were drawn here. I could feel your energy pulling this way before you ever arrived.” Lorraine folded her arms across her ample chest and waited.
Nat stared at her a moment, attempting to gauge how hard it would be to change the subject. Lorraine didn’t budge. Her steely gaze bored into Natalie, who sighed. “I had some dreams, and my meditations were interrupted with a vision or two. Nothing concrete. That’s the problem. I can’t get at what the issue is. So there’s nothing to tell, really. I just felt it would happen here on Halloween.”
“I’m guessing it’s not a hot bunch of men moving to town,” Cecily said with a grin.
“No, not a happy thing. I keep trying, but it’s not here yet. It’s not in focus. So, see, same old Natalie.” She shrugged.
“None of us felt a thing until you came toward us. You’re still the strongest one,” Lorraine corrected as she sat next to her. “And those men need you. Nothing here has been as happy as before you left.”
Nat shook her head. “Please, I missed you guys too, but don’t act like I could influence an entire town.”
“When you grow up in a place and are part of it, with family and friends, it can impact a lot of us. Our energies influence each other. I’m sure Randy is very sad without you.” Cecily smiled sweetly.
Nat laughed. “I bet he’s got three men over, and they’re screwing on everything they can. He really tamed down his personal life when I was around. At least, he kept it in his bedroom.”
The women laughed.
“He belongs in the city,” Lorraine said.
The feeling was clear to Natalie. She belonged here. They wanted her here. But there’d been no tragedies while she was away. Now something dangerous would happen.
“No one’s had any tingle of something negative coming?” Nat asked.
The dozen or so women shook their heads.
“We’re all looking forward to the holiday. Samhain is a biggie,” Cecily said.
“It is. But if you’d focus on that night and look for anything strange or evil, it might help. Maybe I can’t see the whole vision, but I received the first blast of a warning. If it impacts my family, I might have a harder time seeing it. Any help is appreciated.” Nat had no idea if she was right, but any help would be great.
“Sounds like a plan. What do you say we pack up and head home? A good meditation session tonight, then report any finds on our Facebook page?” Lorraine stood. The group began to disperse.
Cecily gave Nat a hug and then headed out, the last one except for Lorraine.
Logan knocked on the open door to get her attention. “We’re going to rake up some of the leaves outside. Let you two talk.”
“Okay, thanks.” Nat smiled and turned back to Lorraine. “You really have the coven organized.”
“You’re still the one they look to and admire.”
Nat felt the heat of a blush creeping up her neck. “I didn’t ask for the gifts.”
“You did go and try to increase them,” Lorraine replied, the hint of a tease in her voice.
Nat chuckled. “Fair enough. I needed a break from it all. My brother—and the town. And everyone in the coven was looking at me as if I had the answers and was supposed to guide them. I needed a mentor.”
“Did you find one?” she asked.
“A few, actually. No one person, but a couple of people who helped me expand my talents in other directions.” Nat picked up an empty glass. “Not like you, but they were stronger than me, which let me play the student for a while.”
“We’re all students of life. The women in the coven challenge you to teach them. Life challenges you to be yourself in the face of family and small-town views. I challenge you because your mother isn’t here to.”
“Thank you,” Nat said. She started toward the kitchen so Lorraine wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes.
“Just because I’m not as gifted as you are, doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on. Or when to call bullshit on your excuses. You wanted to come home,” Lorraine said.
“I always wanted to come home, but it’s harder here. I needed the right sign. It was a good break.” Nat could’ve spent years in Chicago, learning from others. She’d grown in power there, but the big city would never challenge her the way Green Leaf did.
Lorraine followed Nat into the kitchen. “Now you’re here. Logan and Zach can use some time.”
“I know. They’re still snippy with each other. Why didn’t you tell me?” Nat asked.
“You have to be with them because you want to be, and because you love them. Because it’s good for you, not because it’s what they need. We all have our own paths, and they’ll survive if you choose another. It might not be the same bliss, but those guys are strong. If they were weak, they’d never have lasted as long with you as they did.”
Nat nodded. “I know. Men and their egos are touchy things.”
“They are. So if you don’t mean to stay this time, you need to move on right after Samhain. Whatever happens will happen. If you can help, wonderful. The whole coven is behind you. But if you’re going to break their hearts and not be with them, it’s best if you go back to Chicago so they can rebuild. Small towns are rough for breakups and divorces.” Lorraine’s face went hard and cold.
Nat wanted to reassure her, to ease her fears. The protective nature of Logan’s aunt was one of the things Nat loved about her. But Lorraine was sharing a clear message. The world wouldn’t be so rosy and happy here if she broke the hearts of the two men who loved her. They had family and friends too.
“I understand. I wish I could answer you right now. I wish I could promise it’d all turn out the way I want it to. I have no idea what the danger is. My vision might be blocked because it happens to someone I love. It’s just all too close. Like that time with my parents. I’d hate myself forever if something happened to Logan or Zach. I don’t know what’s coming, but it’s sinister.”
“And you know the coven will help you. We’ll all meditate on it and see. Compare notes. Don’t you worry.” Lorraine patted Nat’s hand. “I’m going to go home, shake off all this emotional stuff, and focus on our town.”
“Thank you.”
For a second it looked like Lorraine was going to hug her, but Nat felt the odd energy between them. Blood trumped coven connections. Lorraine was worried about Logan.
Nothing made sense in Nat’s vision, but she understood the small town even better tonight. Sleeping with two men might be scandalous. Leaving them would really piss people off.
Chapter Five
Two days before Halloween, Logan went briefly into the office to make sure nothing was urgent. He told his assistant to reach him on his phone, then headed back home. Natalie had blocked out the day for prepping for Samhain and Halloween.
As Logan parked out front, it was a relief not to see people waiting on the porch for Natalie’s readings. She barely charged anything, a little something in trade most of the time. How did the woman think she’d live?
He wanted to take care of her and Zach. He always had. Farming was at
the mercy of the weather, and Natalie’s gifts weren’t to be exploited for fun. Most people in town took her seriously, their questions usually about health, finances, or other real issues. Still, he wanted to be her provider.
Walking into the library, he found her lying on the sofa with a pencil in her hand, sketching on a big pad of paper.
“Looks like a bonfire,” he said.
She didn’t even flinch. “Hi. You’re supposed to be at work.”
“Thought you might need help.” He sat down. “I can go if I’m in the way.”
“No, I’m probably in my head too much. I just wish one of the other witches would get something. They don’t sense any danger.” She threw the pencil across the room.
Logan’s aunt had told him that much already. But the women were trying, keeping their senses open.
“It’s okay, it’ll come to you. You’re stressing yourself out. Don’t let Zach make it worse. He’s a worrier.” He rubbed her back.
“Don’t blame Zach.” She pulled away. “You two squabble, and I know it’s my fault for not being here. Please don’t turn on each other.”
“Are you saying you’re leaving again?” Logan asked.
“No! Maybe.” She grabbed another pencil from the half-empty box on the end table. “I don’t know what I’m doing until I figure out this thing that’s coming. I can’t rule out anything yet, and darkness in my visions always means danger.”
“Why don’t you back up a little? Does it just scare us? Does it hurt someone?” Logan asked.
“Don’t try to distract me; if I could it answer those questions, I would’ve already. You and Zach are fighting. My brother and his family haven’t called once since I’ve been back, even though I went to see him. The coven is looking to me to figure this out. No one else feels it. What if I’m wrong? I could be paranoid.” She scribbled over the bonfire sketch.
“Have you ever had a recurring nightmare or vision that was just paranoia?” he asked.
“No.” She shrugged. “It could happen. It might be my subconscious wanting to come back here.”
Coven, Sweet Coven Page 4