by Linda Ford
Did he sound disappointed? Because she would be busy all morning or because it delayed him leaving? “I might be free later.” She had no idea how long the job would take.
“I’ll maybe see you then.” With a touch to the brim of his hat, he left the house and went down the hill. What did he plan to do for the day?
“Are you ready?” Linette asked her, laden with several large bowls.
Jayne, along with Mercy and Sybil, joined her in the trek down the hill. They gathered in the shade of the cookhouse where Cassie already awaited, along with Grace, who had come to the ranch with Ward and their daughter. As they approached, Cookie came outside, bringing with her the scent of cinnamon and yeast.
They set out blankets, but since Cookie claimed she’d never get up if she sat on the ground, Cassie brought out a chair.
Daisy supervised the children playing. Their laughter filled the air like music.
Linette showed the English girls how to snap the pea pod open, scrape the tender green peas into a bowl then toss the pod into a bucket. Jayne settled into a routine at the mindless task and listened as Cassie asked Grace how she liked living in the west. It was pleasant to sit here and forget everything. Except one thought intruded. What lay ahead for her?
She didn’t know but wasn’t about to let the thought mar a perfect morning.
“Will your cowboy be leaving soon?” Cookie asked Jayne.
Jayne pretended she had to think who Cookie meant. “Seth? I expect so.”
Mercy snorted. “Could have fooled me.” She batted her eyes and tipped her head, doing her best to look coy.
Jayne waved a hand in a way she hoped said Mercy’s opinion was of no matter. “Don’t pay attention to her. She’s prone to be dramatic.” She’d never let any of them know there was something about Seth that tugged at her heart and occupied her thoughts in a way that confused her.
Mercy grinned. “I’m not making it up.”
“Leave her be,” Sybil said gently. “She only wants to learn to shoot a gun.” She shivered. “Though I still think it’s a bad idea.”
Grace studied her fingers curled in her lap. “There was a time I wished I had a gun. A big gun. And had the nerve to use it.”
Jayne had heard how Ward had rescued Grace from a man who made her dance in a saloon by holding little Belle captive.
Cassie squeezed Grace’s hands. “Thankfully, God sent Ward along to help you.”
“If God watches us for our good why do bad things happen?” The words came from Jayne’s mouth before she could think to stop them. At the way each of the other women grew serious, Jayne almost wished she hadn’t asked the question but she ached to know, to understand.
Cookie planted her feet more firmly on the ground and shifted so she faced Jayne. “Maybe we only see the dark side. The pain, the sorrow, the loss. But we would never see a rainbow without the rain.”
Sybil’s hands twisted into a knot as she considered Cookie’s words. “Is the rainbow worth it?”
“I would go through what I did again if it was what brought me and Ward together.” Grace’s face flooded with joy and serenity.
Jayne stared at her. Would she ever look back at what happened to Oliver and say something so wonderful had happened because of it that she thought it was worthwhile?
Grace spoke again. “But I would avoid it altogether if I could and still meet Ward.”
The women murmured agreement. All of them had endured their share of loss and pain except perhaps Mercy. She never confessed to anything but joy and excitement.
“Maybe,” Mercy said, “it takes something tragic to push some people off their comfortable log into the adventure that lies ahead of them.”
Sybil chuckled. “Like Jayne learning to shoot. What an adventure she started. Poor Seth, though. He didn’t ask to be part of your adventure.”
The others laughed. Several of them commented that the challenges of their lives had indeed led them to go places, or to try things they wouldn’t have without the impetus.
“Look at you,” Mercy said to Jayne. “Not only are you learning to shoot a gun but you would have never left cozy old England if you’d married Oliver.” She squeezed both Jayne’s and Sybil’s hands. “And we all get to share your adventure. I, for one, am grateful for the opportunity.”
Jayne couldn’t argue with Mercy’s rationale. Oliver’s death had pushed her to explore new horizons. She’d never be grateful for it but she had to move forward and this was a good place to do it. She looked about the ranch but didn’t see Seth. She would forever be thankful that he played a part in helping her achieve her goals.
She meant the thought to be reassuring. It wasn’t. Instead, it quivered restlessly in the pit of her stomach. She popped some fresh green peas into her mouth to still the sensation. “Mmm, good.”
The others also ate a few and nodded agreement.
The conversation shifted to other things until Cookie lumbered to her feet. “Time to cook up some grub for hungry cowboys.”
“You’ll eat with us,” Cassie said to Grace and they scrambled up to prepare food for their hungry men and children.
Linette checked around the circle. “The peas are done. Thank you all. Many hands make light work.”
Jayne and her friends climbed the hill with Linette and helped her prepare a quick dinner for everyone who ate at the house.
When it was time to eat, Grady entered at Eddie’s side.
But where was Seth?
She caught her breath and waited.
He entered the back door and her breath eased out. She couldn’t take her eyes from him.
He’d rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, exposing strong forearms. He took his hat off and hung it on one of the many hooks.
He turned, and their eyes met. She felt a strange tightening in her throat as he smiled.
Slowly, his gaze lingering, he shifted, and turned to wash.
She jerked back to helping Linette.
Mercy nudged her. “I see you don’t even have to bat your eyes.”
Jayne made a protesting sound and took the bowl of fresh peas to the table.
Throughout the meal, she forced herself to think about the food. The peas and potatoes tasted better than anything she’d ever had before.
But all the while, her nerves vibrated at Seth’s nearness and the hope of him asking her to go to the clearing.
“Are you helping Linette this afternoon?” he asked, sending a frisson of excitement through her.
“I don’t need everyone,” Linette said. “Sybil wants to help me. That’s all I need.”
“Then I guess I’m free for more shooting lessons.” Jayne emphasized shooting just enough to inform Mercy it was the reason for the two of them spending the afternoon together.
A little later, Seth and Jayne returned to the clearing.
She prepared her gun. “I believe I’m ready for real ammunition today.”
“Try it once without and convince me you haven’t forgotten anything.” He grinned, teasing lights flashing from his eyes. “Like keeping your eyes open.”
She wrinkled her nose at him.
He stood with his hands on his hips and his legs wide as if preparing for a long afternoon of fun.
Her cheeks grew warm. He only wanted to see her succeed in this so he could leave, she reminded herself. She had pinned her own silly desires on the poor unsuspecting man. She jerked her attention back to the reason for being there, lined up the target through her sights and squeezed the trigger. Click. Her eyes had remained open. She turned and curled her fingers to indicate he should give her a bullet.
He handed her one, supervised as she slipped it into the chamber then stood very close as she took the stance he’d taught her. He steadied her hand then eased back.
She swallowed hard. She was on her own. She squeezed the trigger, squinting to keep from closing her eyes at the explosion.
She lowered the gun and studied the target. “Did I hit it?”
“Almost. You have to keep your hand steady all the while you squeeze the trigger. Grip the gun so your fingers can’t move.”
He dug another bullet out of his pocket but before he could hand it to her, Smokey appeared and meowed around his feet. “Go away, cat. It’s not safe for you to be here.”
Smokey took a step away then stopped and meowed over her shoulder.
“Go home, silly cat.”
Smokey meowed louder. She returned to Seth and meowed up at him then took two steps. Again she meowed.
Jayne stared at the cat. “Is she trying to get you to follow her?”
“Nah. She’s just a cat.”
But Smokey continued to call at them.
“Maybe we should see what she wants.” Jayne put the gun on the log and stepped toward the cat. “Where do you want us to go?”
Seth scooped up her gun, tucked it into his belt and followed them.
Smokey headed for the trees to the right, turning often to make sure they followed.
Then Jayne saw what the cat wanted and drew to a halt. She pressed her hand to her throat. “Seth,” she whispered. “Look.”
He was at her side. “I see it.”
Under the trees lay a fawn, curled up, its wide eyes watching them.
Smokey licked the animal’s face.
“Seems Smokey has made a friend.”
Jayne tiptoed closer.
The fawn bleated and tried to get to its feet.
Seth grabbed her arm to stop her. “Stay back. It’s frightened.”
Jayne saw blood on its back leg. “It’s hurt.” A dreadful thought grabbed her throat. “Did I shoot it?” Her legs buckled and she would have folded to the ground except Seth held her up.
“I don’t think it’s a gunshot wound.”
Her legs got their strength back and she straightened. “Are you sure? How can you tell?”
“It looks more like a tear.” He pulled them back to let the frightened animal relax. Smokey rubbed against the fawn and purred loudly.
Seth eyed the trees around them. “I wonder where the doe is. Let’s have a look.” He took her by the hand and led her into the trees. They moved as quietly as possible.
They passed through into the open. It was the same place she’d found evidence of Seth’s blood and she groaned.
“There.” He pointed into the shadows.
All she saw was a brown rock. Then it moved. “That’s the mother deer?”
“Looks like it’s injured. Wait here while I see.”
But she grabbed his hand and followed. They crossed the grassy clearing. The doe didn’t lift its head but its sides heaved with frightened breaths.
Bright red blood covered the animal’s front quarters. More oozed from a hole high in the chest.
Horror as dark as the blackest pit choked Jayne. How could she think she could shoot a gun and not hurt someone? “Is it a gunshot wound?”
He knelt over the animal. “No. This is the work of a wolf or maybe a mountain lion.” He straightened, his expression hard. “Go back to the clearing where your stuff is.”
“Aren’t you coming?”
“I’ll be along straightaway.”
She rocked her head back and forth. Why would he order her to leave? “I’ll wait for you. I don’t fancy meeting a wild animal that will claw me to bits.”
“I’m sure the gunshots you fired will have scared them away. Now go. I’ll be right behind you.”
She stared at him, wanting to argue but something in his eyes, the brittleness of them, the darkness behind them made her obey. She lifted her skirt and headed back. She’d barely entered the trees that circled the practice area when a bang came from where she’d left Seth.
She could think of only one reason for him to shoot. The doe. He’d killed her.
Her heart pounding, she raced to the log that served as a seat and sank down. She pressed her elbows to her stomach and her chin to her fists. Puffs of air raced in and out of her lungs without providing any relief. Her head grew dizzy.
Seth stepped into the clearing and crossed to her side. He sat close and rubbed her back.
“I had to do it. She was suffering.”
“You shot her.”
“I’m sorry.”
The pressure of his hand on her back, the little circles that he made, eased her lungs. She sucked in air.
“Was there—” She swallowed hard. “Was there a lot of blood?”
He didn’t answer.
She didn’t want him to. She wished she could erase all memory of blood from her mind but the pictures were as vivid as the day they came. A sob threatened to strangle her.
Seth pulled her into his arms. She grabbed his shirtfront and buried her face against his shoulder. Only one sob escaped. When his arms tightened about her, the horror faded and she felt safe.
She stayed there until her heartbeat calmed.
“The fawn!” She sat up. “We have to help it.” She jumped up and raced toward where they’d left the little animal.
Seth caught up to her and grabbed her hand. “It’s wild and afraid.”
She pulled away. “Nevertheless, it needs help.” She continued onward, tiptoeing now so as to not frighten the fawn.
Seth followed though his expression informed her he did so reluctantly.
She paused before the fawn, far enough away so it didn’t lurch to its feet. “I mean you no harm. I just want to help you.” She slowly narrowed the distance and squatted down.
The fawn’s eyes widened and it tried to escape.
Smokey meowed a protest and rubbed against the fawn’s legs.
Jayne pressed her hand to the wild animal’s shoulder and held it down. “You need someone to take care of you.” She needed help and sent Seth a pleading look.
“Jayne, what do you think you can do?”
“It seems pretty obvious. We’ll take it back to the farm. Fix the wound and feed it.”
“We? I haven’t agreed.” He scrubbed at the back of his neck, tipping his hat forward over his eyes.
“Why ever not? I don’t understand. I thought you’d feel a responsibility to take care of this helpless little thing.”
He squatted beside her. “You take on a job like this, you better think about the consequences.”
“Like what?”
“He’ll be frightened of the horses, the cows and the curious children. Chances are the poor thing will pine for its freedom, refuse to eat and die before your eyes.”
“Nice picture you’ve drawn but we have to at least try.”
His expression remained stubborn.
Anger exploded in her, boiling over into her words. “You’re afraid of risks. Afraid you might fail. Well, I would sooner fail trying than fail to try.”
“What are you going to feed it? How are you going to keep it safe from predators? You’ll end up regretting this when you have to watch him die.”
She gave him a look that ought to make his insides burn with shame. “I am not so foolish as to think I can guarantee he’ll live but I intend to give him a chance. Are you going to help me or not?”
He studied her then sighed. His expression full of regret, he wrapped his arms under the fawn and lifted it to his chest, murmuring calming sounds when the creature struggled.
She didn’t care if he helped willingly or not. She meant to help the little creature.
Smokey trotted at their heels as they retraced their steps. Jayne scooped up her bag as they passed through the clearing and walked at Seth’s side.
Seth held the fawn’s legs so it couldn’t kick. They rushed past the house and down the hill to the barn.
“Whatcha’ got?” Billy called as he saw them.
At the sound of a voice, the fawn struggled.
“I told ya,” Seth mumbled to her. “Curious children.”
Jayne turned aside and went to Billy. “We have an injured fawn that is very frightened. Would you make sure none of the children come to the barn until we have it settled down?”
The boy’s chest expanded. “I sure can.” Then he grew curious again. “Then we can see him?”
“If the fawn is feeling well enough,” she replied. Seth went into the barn and she hurried after him.
He was in the far pen. He’d put the fawn in a bed of sweet hay. Smokey curled up beside the animal.
Seth knelt at the fawn’s side. “Eddie has dressings in a box in the tack room. Can you bring it here?”
Tack room? She wasn’t sure what he meant but she raced down the alley. A little room held saddles, harnesses and an assortment of horse items. She opened a cupboard on the wall and saw a box of bandages and a tin of something. Likely an ointment Eddie used on his horses. She scooped up the box and raced back to Seth’s side.
“Hold his front legs while I look at this cut.”
She folded the fawn’s leg back as Seth showed her and watched his big hands gently examine the fawn’s back leg.
“It doesn’t look too bad.” He cleaned it, applied smelly ointment from the tin then wrapped a dressing around it.
“Let him go.”
She did and the fawn struggled to its feet. It ran into the corner and tried to hide but all it could do was press its nose into the boards.
Smokey followed and purred around the tiny legs. The fawn seemed to forget Seth and Jayne were there and turned its attention to the cat.
Seth leaned close to whisper in Jayne’s ear. “Smokey has found a new best friend.”
She nodded. Tears were too close to the surface for her to speak. They couldn’t save the doe. She understood that. But somehow, being able to help the fawn made her feel as if life sometimes made sense.
“What are you going to feed it?” Seth asked.
She faced him. “Why, I have no idea. What do you suggest?”
His expression was soft as if he, too, had found some healing in helping the fawn. “I suppose we could try bottle feeding it. Or maybe it’s big enough for grass and oats.” He eased to his feet, slowly backed from the pen so as not to frighten the fawn. “I’ll go get some and see.”
She followed him and helped pull grass. He trotted to the oat bin and scooped out a handful of oats. He paused to fill a bucket with water. They returned to the pen and put the feed down. The fawn wouldn’t move with them there so they backed out, closed the gate and tiptoed away then turned to watch. The fawn nosed at the grass. Ate a few mouthfuls. Ducked his nose into the water.