“Ethan, you need to take all this effort that you’re trying to put into us, and put it into your family. You have a baby, and you should try with that.”
“Juanita and I aren’t even together, she’s just on some jealous bullshit, Goldie!”
“I don’t care what the hell she’s on! And Ethan, let’s not forget, I know you, boo. I saw all in her face how in love she was with you, and how desperate she was to convince me to leave you alone. I know because that used to be me at one point.”
“Goldie—”
“Please, Ethan! I am begging you! I am begging you to leave me be. I don’t want to be with you, and it has very little to do with Juanita and your baby. I wasn’t feeling it this go ‘round, I really wasn’t. I was lonely and I gave you a chance that you didn’t deserve. Now please, just forget about me.”
He was just looking pathetic at this point. He should’ve been able to see that this time was different. There were no tears, I wasn’t hitting him, I wasn’t threatening him, and I wasn’t blowing his phone up for answers. My actions were screaming that I didn’t care, yet he refused to see that.
“Don’t try to make me out to be some desperate ass nigga shorty! Talking about you’re begging me! You were the one who was on my nuts for years, not the other way around! You ought to be happy I even gave yo’ ass a chance! There were plenty of hoes I could’ve made my bitch, yet I chose yo’ inexperienced ass who could barely go anywhere that wasn’t church and bible study!” he snapped.
“Okay, cool,” I waved him off, prompting him to grab my wrist and twist the fuck out of it. “Ethan, stop, that hurts!”
Because this was the Target on Boylston, it was a pretty busy area. I was embarrassed like fuck at the fact that he had me about to cry. He finally let my wrist go, and then back handed me so hard that my eye immediately swelled shut.
“Please!” I pleaded with him, because the damage he’d done so far was already too painful to bear. I could only imagine if he kept going.
“Bitch,” he snarled and then walked to his driver’s side, before hopping in and speeding out of the parking lot.
I hurriedly climbed into my car, and just broke down crying. I for real hated my life, and no matter how hard I tried I was miserable. I spent years loving a man who never loved me, and when I finally found the strength to press on, he goes nuts.
Sometimes I felt like no one cared for me outside of Kimberlyn and Matikah. My mother despised me because I wasn’t the same church girl I was raised to be. She was my mom, and she never even answered my calls. The only person that she and her pastor husband cared about was my sister, because she paraded around like she was the Virgin Mary. My sister and I didn’t get along at all because I didn’t deal with fraud people, and she was jealous of the fact that until I rebelled, I was the favorite child. We didn’t claim one another either. It was almost like we didn’t exist in each other’s lives.
As for my father, he paid my bills as an incentive to stay away from him. He had a new wife and he wanted to appear childless for her. It hurt to know his reasoning for not wanting me around, but at least he was the reason I was able to survive outside of my mother’s home. My job at the local drugstore paid nowhere near enough for me to live on my own.
I said a prayer to God, asking for some sun in this storm that I called life, all the while begging him to forgive me for being ungrateful for the blessings I did have. I felt a little better after that, so I cranked my car and went home to chill.
My best friends were boo’d up, so I was going solo tonight. I guess it was a good thing because if either one of them saw my eye, they would want to murder Ethan. I didn’t want that, I just wanted to never speak of or see him again.
Chapter Eight: Matikah
“Did you enjoy the movie?” Lendsey quizzed as we walked through the parking lot holding hands.
“I did.”
Lendsey had me ready to do all kinds of things, but I wanted to be his girlfriend first before anything. We’d been spending a lot of time together, and things have gotten pretty close to going somewhere sexual, but before it did I wanted to find out where we were.
The drive had been quiet so far, and all we did was exchange glances here and there while listening to the music. My palms were sweating because I was so nervous to inquire about what we were to one another. I knew what type of guy he was, and I never expected to be so into him when we started hanging out. Everything Goldie told me danced in the back of my mind, yet I still pursued him and now I had strong feelings for him.
“We’re going to your house?” I quizzed and he nodded as he made a right turn. He’s so fine, I thought to myself.
“That’s cool, right?”
“Of course,” I chuckled for some reason like an idiot. Nothing is funny, why are you chuckling, Matikah?
We made it to his home, and once he parked his car, I decided to take the plunge and just ask him what the fuck was up.
“Lendsey, are we friends?”
“I think so,” he half smiled. No, that wasn’t what I meant to ask. I needed to stop being scary and grow the fuck up.
“No, are we together? Are you my boyfriend? What’s up? I mean we spend a lot of time together, and I don’t know I’m just wondering. No pressure though,” I half lied. I wanted to fuck him so there was plenty of pressure.
“You wanna be together? You ready to be my shorty?” he smiled and gripped my thigh in his hand.
“Yeah.”
The way he asked me started to make me wonder, but I knew I wanted this. I’ve wanted this from the first time I laid eyes on his sexy ass. I stared at the side of his face as he looked out of the windshield, thinking. If he needed this long to make up his mind, then it couldn’t be good.
“I didn’t know it needed to be spoken on, but since you need to hear it then yes, you are my girl.”
“Cool,” I nodded nonchalantly even though I was clicking my heels like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz in my mind.
We got out of the car and headed up inside his condo. Grabbing a bottle of vodka and some glasses, we tread to his room to start drinking. Thank God I ate before the movie, or else I would be drunk right away from intake on an empty stomach. After my third glass of straight vodka with no juice or chaser, my body began to warm up and I was feeling real nice.
“Come here,” Lendsey bit down on his plump bottom lip. He’d just dimmed the lights in his room, and removed his shirt. Suddenly as he neared me, I became a little bit scared of what he was about to do. “Relax,” he began kissing my thighs while running his hands up my dress.
I inhaled sharply once I felt his strong hands grip the waistband of my underwear. Before I could even process it, he was pulling them down slowly. Removing my sandals, he threw them across the room, then yanked me to the edge of the bed so that my bottom half was hanging off.
“Ah,” I moaned softly once he put his warm mouth on my vagina. It was weird at first, and I didn’t know what to do, but when the pleasure kicked in, my body relaxed.
The combination of the liquor and the way his mouth felt had me on one. This was so good that I wanted to scream out as if I were the lead in an opera. Instead, I just bit my lip to muffle the moans that were begging to escape. Not satisfied with my reaction, he buried his face deeper into my center and began attacking me like a lunatic. I had no choice but to cry out as if I were being stabbed repeatedly.
“Mmm, fuck,” I gripped my curly hair as if I needed it to calm me down.
Suddenly, the pleasure between my legs intensified to a point where my body quivered violently. Liquid seeped out, as my legs and torso continued to jerk lightly. I came. I finally understood the hype that surrounded orgasms. I gripped the back of Lendsey’s head as he continued to devour me like his life depended on it. I released two more times before he stood up to remove my dress completely. As soon as my C-cups were on display, he took my nipples into his mouth. After getting his fix, he took my hand and put it down his pants to feel his erection. My eyes bulged out of my hea
d almost at how hard it was, because I didn’t even know it could get to that point.
He knew what I was thinking because he chuckled at my facial expression and said, “Yeah, I’ve been waiting for this.”
Standing up off the bed, he removed his jeans completely along with his boxers. His golden brown complexion was gorgeous, just like his six-pack. He kept eye contact with me as he rolled a condom down, and the lust in his eyes was at an all-time high. He climbed onto the bed and got between my legs before tonguing me down passionately.
“Are you a virgin?” he looked into my eyes with a confused expression.
“No,” I lied and chuckled slightly.
“Then why are you so tense?” he pursed his lips and smirked, knowing I was lying.
I was scared out of my mind of what was about to happen, but I wanted this; I wanted him. He was my man, and I wanted to be everything to him so that he would never stray. I prayed that he would be everything to me as well.
“I’m a virgin,” I whispered and waited for his reaction.
“Why you lie?”
“I don’t know.”
“You thought I wouldn’t fuck with you if you were a virgin or some shit?” he frowned and I nodded slowly.
“You are kind of old to be pure, but it’s all good,” he grinned and so did I.
“Fuck you, nigga,” I spat before he slipped his tongue back into my mouth. Embarrassingly, I jumped when I felt the head of his dick poking at my hole.
“Just focus on the kiss,” he instructed.
Again, we began kissing passionately, and I tried to ignore him sticking me down there. A shock of pain went through my body as he finally began pushing with all his might to get inside of my body. Whimpering like a little poodle, I dug my nails into his muscular biceps, hoping it would somehow ease the pain.
“Shit,” he groaned and began kissing my neck. “Damn, shorty.”
His eyes were closed so I knew he was enjoying this way more than me. With every pump, there was pain. After a few minutes the pain began to subside a little, and I felt the same pleasure I felt when he had his mouth down there. Cupping the back of his head, I kissed him hungrily knowing another orgasm would be near once all the pain ceased.
“You good?” he bit down on his lip as he thrust in and out of me slowly. I just nodded while moaning since I couldn’t talk. “You feel good as fuck, shit.” He looked down to watch himself work for a couple moments before making eye contact with me again.
I finally released, and once I did he sped up his pace. Placing my legs in the nooks of his arms, he slammed into me, prompting me to cry out loudly. He was soon moaning as well, and finally we exploded together. Removing the condom slowly, he got out of the bed and I listened to him go to the bathroom.
“Matikah, come here!” he called out, making me jump.
I got out of the bed slowly since my pussy was sore, and made my way to the bathroom. I stood in the doorway and watched him run some water in the huge ass bathtub.
“Come in here, let’s take a bath.”
“Together?” I frowned.
“Yes together, you’re my shorty so we can do this. And I know that pussy is hurtin’,” he chuckled. I just smacked my lips and walked over to him. “How do you feel?” he quizzed once we were in the warm water.
“I’m okay. It hurt way more than I thought it would.”
“You’ll get used to it.” He gripped my breasts in his hands and then kissed on my neck from behind.
I surely hoped so. I was more than satisfied with my decision, however… at least so far.
Chapter Eight: Kimberlyn
Matikah, Goldie, and I were out to lunch at No. 9 Park. I was treating them since TQ had given me some money. He gave me way more than I would ever need for anything, so I wanted to do something nice for my friends.
“I have something to tell you guys,” Matikah smiled as her eyes went from me to Goldie.
“What?” Goldie frowned. I was anxious to know too.
“I made a charge on my V card,” Matikah grinned.
“Huh?” Goldie and I said in unison.
“I’m no longer a virgin.”
“Since when?” I bucked my eyes.
“Since a couple nights ago. After we went to the movies, we went back to his house and it happened. It happened three times actually,” she chuckled before sipping her water.
“You’re so nasty,” Goldie laughed. “So have you spoken to him since?”
“Yes I have, and I’m gonna go back to his house tonight. We’re boyfriend and girlfriend now, so we’re gonna be talking a lot. Even though we pretty much spent every day together when we weren’t together officially.”
“I’m happy for you and surprised. You know Lendsey has a bit of a record, so the fact that you got him to settle down in a sense is dope,” I nodded.
“I can say the same for TQ,” Matikah raised a brow at me. She laughed when I threw my hands up in mock surrender.
“Well if he has changed for you, then cool, but I doubt it,” Goldie shook her head.
“Sometimes all it takes is the right girl for a man to get his act together,” Matikah cocked her head and then lightly hi-fived me.
“What’s up with his brother though, Britain? Does he talk to anyone? I saw him with a girl, but she didn’t look important to him,” Goldie inquired.
“I’m pretty sure he has a girl. Why didn’t you ask him yourself when you were eye fucking him at the party?” I put some food into my mouth. I was sure TQ told me Britain had a girlfriend, but she was never, and I do mean never around him when I saw him.
“Because I was too scared. He had a bitch in his lap every time I rounded up the courage to say anything to him.”
“Well like always, another party is coming up. Their oldest sister Saya is throwing it, and TQ invited me. I will bring you along,” I stared at Goldie with a smirk.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she giggled.
“Because you talk all this shit, knowing damn well you like Britain. And to make matters worse, he’s the worst one of them all,” Matikah spoke what was on my mind.
“True, but unlike you two, I just want some dick,” she smacked her lips and the three of us burst into laughter.
After lunch, we went to the mall on Huntington Avenue. This mall in particular had high-end stores, which is why we chose it. We entered the Louis Vuitton store, and the purse that I’d been wanting for years was staring me in the eyes. I gravitated towards it, and glanced down at the price tag, which almost gave me a heart attack.
“You gonna get it?” Goldie questioned as she eyed it along with Matikah.
“I can’t, it’s too much.” I shook my head.
“I thought you said TQ put a lot of money into your account?” Matikah raised a brow.
“TQ, huh?” a voice called out, making us all look back. It was Peel’s girlfriend Hayden with some other girl.
Hayden and I were never the best of friends, but she was cool. We’d hung out, not on our own, because she was Peel’s girl, and I was almost Gang’s.
“Yes, TQ,” I turned to face her fully, along with Goldie and Matikah.
“He’s giving you money?” she cocked her head and folded her arms as if she were confused as hell.
“I don’t really think it matters. You should worry about who Peel gives his money too, boo,” I raised one brow.
I knew she was watching TQ at those past few functions for a reason. I wonder how Peel would feel about that.
“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean, bitch?” she snarled.
“Just what I said. Worry about your nigga and his funds, and I will worry about mine, baby girl.”
She burst into laughter along with her friend, and then turned her attention back to me. She looked me up and down while grinning widely.
“Boo, please don’t tell me Tarenz Quinton has you thinking that you’re his bitch,” she snickered as if she just couldn’t help herself.
“Sh
e is his bitch, boo,” Goldie chimed in, surprising me. She was usually so against TQ’s and my relationship.
“That’s cute, Kimberlyn. You should’ve stuck with Gang, at least you wouldn’t be getting played. Anyway, tell TQ I said what’s up and that I had fun chilling with him the other day,” she winked and walked towards another area of the store where the scarves were.
“She’s probably lying, Kimberlyn,” Matikah rubbed my back.
“Maybe she is, maybe she isn’t, but I’m gonna find the fuck out. And for his sake, she better be lying like fuck!” I fumed. Because I was angry, I bought the purse and the matching wallet to go with it.
Afterwards, we left the mall and I sped to TQ’s condo. I had a key, so if he wasn’t home, I would just wait for him. To my surprise, when I got up inside, he was dressed, eating a bowl of cereal. He looked so nice in a cream colored sweater with two horizontal stripes on the sleeves, light blue jeans that didn’t sag too much, a black baseball cap, and all white Adidas. His jewelry was subtle but still sparkled here and there.
Throwing my bags onto his couch, I stormed over to him, prompting him to crack up. I’d never seen a man so fine in all of my twenty-one years.
“What the fuck is so funny?”
“You storming over to me like I’m supposed to be scared or some shit,” he snickered.
“You’re fucking Peel’s girl?” I cocked my head and folded my arms, waiting for his answer. My fists were clenched, waiting to rock his shit. He was 6’5” so I wasn’t sure how I would get to his face, but I would find a way.
He stared into my eyes with his beautiful blue ones and said, “I have. Why?”
“She told me she chilled with you the other day. Is that true? When did you fuck her last?” I barked, slamming my hand down on the counter.
“Aye, calm yo’ little ass down. Don’t be walking up into my shit going loco on a nigga. I was minding my business eating my fucking Cheerios, and you just come up in my shit acting a fool!” He made his way around the island in the kitchen, and started towards me, wearing a scowl.
“Tell me when?” I repeated although scared.
You Needed Me: A Love Story Page 15