by Cindy Kirk
David, keeping pace beside her, showed no signs of chill, but that didn’t surprise her. When their paths had crossed he’d said he’d already run five miles and was ready to walk. He hadn’t looked winded, much less cold. He’d told her he normally ran this route but this was her fourth day out and yet the first time she’d seen him. When he’d asked if he could join her, it seemed rude to say no. And this could be her opportunity to tell him…if she could only get up the nerve.
She glanced sideways at his classically handsome profile and experienced an unexpected surge of yearning. For what she wasn’t sure.
They’d talked for the first mile. But for the past twenty minutes they’d walked in companionable silence. Still, she sensed something weighed on his mind.
“You might as well tell me,” July said as they rounded a bend in the deserted road that wound its way through the refuge.
“What are you talking about?” His breath came easily which confirmed this killer walking pace wasn’t nearly as taxing on him as it was on her.
“You want to ask me something.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement of fact.
Without warning he laughed. “Am I that easy to read?”
She smiled. “Just spit it out.”
“In a little over two weeks my grandmother will be recognized for sixty years of Sunday School service.”
“Old news,” July said, relieved it didn’t have anything to do with Adam. “Mary Karen already took her shopping for a new dress.”
July had been surprised at all the preparation the two were doing. It appeared this award was a big deal.
“I was thinking it’d be nice if you and Adam came.” His words picked up speed as if he was afraid she’d say no without proper thought. “The whole family will be there.”
The whole family. Meaning all the ones she knew…and David’s parents. Mary Karen’s boys could talk of little else other than their grandparents’ return from their European cruise. Or, as the boys called it, their “big boat ride.”
While July was sure “Bob” and “Linda” were nice people, she felt awkward becoming any more involved with this family than she already was….
“I appreciate the invitation,” she began. “But—”
“But—” he prompted when she didn’t continue.
“Adam and I are already too close to all of you as it is.” The last few words came out on a sigh.
“I don’t understand.”
“The boys treat Adam like a baby brother. Do you know he already recognizes them?”
“Of course he does. He sees them all the time. But that’s about Adam,” David said. “What about you?”
July paused and thought for a moment. “Well, Granny bosses me around like I’m one of her grandkids. Mary Karen treats me like a sister.”
Though her tone held a hint of exasperation, the truth was she rather liked feeling like part of the family. It was a novel experience and for her a pleasurable one.
“I bet I know what you’re going to say next,” David said with a wry smile, “that being with me is like hanging out with a favorite brother.”
The thought was so ridiculous, July laughed out loud. “Believe me, the feelings you bring out in me are anything but brotherly.”
David stopped so suddenly that July was several steps past him before she realized it. She turned. “What’s wrong?”
“Then I’m not the only one feeling the pull.”
July smiled. “I blame mine on postpartum hormone surges. I’m not sure what fuels yours.”
“I like you, July.” David took a step closer. “Isn’t that enough of a reason?”
Though her feet itched to sprint down the road, she stood absolutely still. Her heart fluttered. “You don’t know me.”
“You’re wrong,” he said. “You and I spent some good quality time together in Chicago…and not just in bed.” He took another step toward her. “I definitely know you well enough to know I like you.”
She swallowed, her mouth dry as dirt. Growing close to this man was dangerous, with a capital D. Still, desire surged and she couldn’t make herself move away.
“The question is, is it well enough to kiss you again?” He now stood so near there was no distance between them. He curled his fingers and tilted back her chin, gazing into her eyes. “Perhaps I should find out.”
Ever so slowly—giving her plenty of time to step back or say no—he lowered his lips to hers.
The kiss started out slow, as if they had all the time in the world. He caressed her skin with his mouth, planting gentle kisses on her lips, her jaw and down her neck while his hands remained respectfully on her shoulders.
He nibbled her earlobe then moved back to her tingling lips. She opened her mouth and when he still didn’t deepen the kiss, she slid her tongue into his mouth. That’s when the world exploded.
By the time he stepped back, July was trembling. She raised a shaky hand to her head. “Wow” was the only word she could get out.
David stared, his blue eyes dark and unreadable. “Wow, indeed.”
Though she wanted to kiss him again, the heat flowing through her veins told her she wouldn’t be satisfied with just another kiss. The realization sent red flags popping up. The safe thing, the sensible response, was to head home. Besides, her secret was making her feel awkward and she still had to feed Adam before she left for Yellowstone.
Without a word, July turned and began walking toward town. In several long strides, David was at her side.
“What do you think?” he asked.
“About the kiss?”
He nodded.
She lifted a shoulder in a slight shrug. “It was okay.”
“For me, too,” he said with a grin.
He didn’t speak again until they reached the gate leading out of the refuge. “What about church? Will you come?”
July didn’t need to even think about this one. Though she sensed this was important to him, she couldn’t go to church. Not with him. Not with his family. Not until she’d told him the truth. “I—we—don’t belong—”
“If you think I want Adam there because he could be my son, that’s not it at all.” His tone was matter-of-fact and almost believable. “I’m asking because it would mean a lot to Granny to have you there.”
“I’m sorry, David, but the answer is—”
“Don’t decide now.” He reached around her and opened the gate. “Two weeks is a long time. Just think about it. That’s all I ask.”
“You don’t give up easily, do you?”
He grinned. “Not when it’s something I want.”
Strong and determined. July found the qualities appealing. But that personality type usually had high expectations, not only of themselves but of others. Which made July wonder what David would think of her when he discovered that she was flawed and weak?
Though the photo of the majestic grizzly she’d snapped in Yellowstone should have been in the forefront of her mind, all July had been able to think about was David and what had happened in the Elk Refuge that morning.
She pulled the rental Jeep to a stop in the supermarket lot and hopped out. Lowering her head against the brisk north wind she fought her way to the front of the store, wondering exactly when it was that she’d lost her mind.
Was it when she’d put David’s name on the birth certificate as Adam’s father? Or perhaps when she decided to move in with Mary Karen despite finding out she was David’s sister? No, it had to be the kiss. Considering the chemistry between them it was a wonder they’d made it out of the Elk Refuge with their clothes on.
Of course, she reassured herself as she grabbed a shopping basket, she’d stopped it after one kiss…or anyway, before the clothes came off. And if she ran into him tomorrow morning she’d simply turn and—
“July. What a pleasant surprise.” Lexi stood a few feet in front of her, a sack of groceries in one hand and a small girl in the other.
“Hello, Lexi.” July smiled. “I haven’t seen you
since I was discharged from the hospital.”
“Yes, well, about that—” Lexi handed her daughter several quarters and pointed to a nearby gumball machine. She waited until the girl had scampered just out of earshot to say more. “Are you angry with me?”
July saw worry in the social worker’s eyes. Though it would have been nice to have all the facts up front, all July felt was gratitude. “Mary Karen is wonderful. The house is nice, the rent reasonable and she’s very good with Adam. Thank you so much for the referral.”
Lexi twisted her purse straps in her hands. “I should have told you she was David’s sister.”
“It was a bit of a surprise,” July admitted.
“Mommy. Mommy. I got me a blue one,” Lexi’s daughter called out. “I hope the next one is red.”
Lexi watched her daughter put a third quarter in the machine. The child’s dark brows were furrowed and her expression intense. It was as if she was trying to will the machine to give her the color she wanted.
“She looks just like you,” July said.
“That’s what everyone says.” Lexi’s expression softened. “Addie is a mini-me.”
“Granny says Adam looks just like David as a baby.”
“She knows?” The look of shock on Lexi’s face would have been laughable at any other time.
“Suspects.” July glanced down at the shopping basket in her hands. “They’ll all know soon enough.”
“You’re going to tell them?”
“I’m going to tell David…before I leave Jackson.”
“I know it’s none of my business, but I don’t understand why you’re waiting.”
“I have my reasons.”
“Oh my goodness.” Lexi’s eyes widened and July followed the direction of her gaze just in time to see Addie stick her hand—and most of her arm—up inside the machine. “Addison Marie, stop that this instant.”
“I’d better let you go—”
But Lexi’s hand on her arm stopped her retreat.
“July, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Mary Karen being David’s sister from the beginning. My only excuse is that I really believed it was the perfect place for you and thought you wouldn’t give her a chance if you knew she was David’s sister.” The words flowed from Lexi’s lips like a fast-moving river that had been dammed up and had just been re-opened. “My decision to hold back that information walked the line of ethical behavior. If the situation had been reversed, I’d have wanted to know. Can you forgive me?”
“Of course I forgive you.” The sincerity in the social worker’s voice tugged at July’s heartstrings. “No hard feelings.”
As she accepted Lexi’s apology, July realized this is how it should be. If you wronged someone, you asked for their forgiveness. It shouldn’t have to be so difficult….
“Maybe you and I could get together for coffee sometime?” The hopeful gleam in the social worker’s eyes took July by surprise.
“I’d like that,” July said, realizing it was true. It had been a long time since she’d had a girlfriend. “I’ll give you a call the first of the week and we’ll set something up.”
“Perfect.” Lexi hesitated. “As long as you don’t mind if I bring Addie with me. After working all day, I don’t like to leave her with a sitter at night.”
“No problem at all,” July said offering up an understanding smile. “I planned on bringing Adam with me for the same reason.”
The two exchanged a smile and a warmth filled July. Her intuition told her she and Lexi stood a good chance of becoming friends. It was a new experience. Oh, she had A.J., but being friends with a guy was different. What was crazy was that in the short time she’d been in Jackson she’d put down more roots than she had during the twenty-six years she’d lived in Chicago.
The time here could be the start of a better life for her. A richer, fuller one than she’d known before. If she was strong enough to take that first step…
July reached out and grabbed Lexi’s coat sleeve when she turned to go. “One more thing.”
“Yes?” Lexi smiled.
“Do you know the name of a good counselor?”
Chapter Nine
Last night July had told A.J. about her appointment with the counselor, but they’d been talking for almost a half hour and he hadn’t mentioned it yet. Not that she really wanted to talk about it. She glanced at the clock on her bedside stand. “It’s getting late. I suppose—”
“How did the therapy session go?” A.J. asked.
It was a good thing she’d arrived early. She’d sat in her car for fifteen minutes before she’d gotten up the nerve to walk inside. “Okay, I guess.”
“That bad?” Disappointment filled his voice. “Just because that one didn’t work out doesn’t mean—”
“No. No. He worked out just fine,” July reassured him. “Dr. Allman reminds me of a teddy bear. It was like talking to Winnie the Pooh.”
“How much did you tell him?”
“Everything.” Her session was supposed to last fifty minutes but she’d been there almost two hours. She’d relayed her story matter-of-factly, without embellishment. “I cried a little. But he told me tears were good. That they always tell us something and we can learn from them.”
“O-kay….”
July smiled. A.J. had never been big on tears. Neither had she for that matter.
“Did you feel better afterward?” he asked. “Are you seeing him again?”
“Yes and yes.” July leaned back against the pillows she’d propped against the headboard and kicked off her shoes. “It’s not cheap but you’re right. We—I’ve—got to get rid of this baggage.”
“Good for you,” A.J. said, sounding strangely subdued. “What did he suggest you do about David?”
“He gave me homework. Can you believe it?” July laughed aloud but stopped when Adam stirred. “I’m supposed to apologize to an inanimate object then work my way up. Sort of a desensitization kind of therapy.”
“I don’t get it.”
July hadn’t understood it either until Dr. Allman had patiently explained it to her; not only how to do it but the theory behind it. “Instead of starting out with David, I apologize to some object, say one of Adam’s toys. Then when that goes okay, I move on to the dog, then to my baby. The goal is to work my way up to David. It makes sense to me.”
“That’s what matters,” A.J. said. “You’ll have to let me know how it works. I’ll be pulling for you.”
“Thank you, A.J.” July’s heart overflowed with emotion, thankful she had such a good friend. “I’m also supposed to start sharing things about my childhood, easy things first. I thought I’d start with you.”
“Me? There’s nothing I don’t know about you.”
“Yes, there is.” July tightened her fingers around the phone and reminded herself that this was A.J. and he was safe. “You, Adam Soto, are the reason I made it to adulthood. There were many, many times I didn’t want to go on, that I wanted to hang it up, but you were always there rooting me on. I’m grateful.”
“Yeah, well…”
She’d made him uncomfortable and she was feeling a bit awkward too. It was definitely change-the-subject time. “How’s Selena? Are you two still hot and heavy?”
He took a moment to respond. “You know how it is after you’ve been together awhile.”
“I’m not sure I do.”
“Chicks want the words,” he said, exhaling a frustrated breath.
“Are you saying she wants to hear you say you love her?”
“I don’t get into that stuff. You know that.”
The disgust in his voice made her smile. “Do you? Love her, I mean?”
Just when she’d given up hope of him admitting anything, he answered. “Yeah, I guess.”
“You guess? Or you know?”
A.J. expelled a harsh breath. “I know. Okay?”
“Far be it for me to give advice.” July chose her words carefully. “But maybe you could use the same tec
hnique the counselor gave me.”
“I ain’t tellin’ a damned stuffed toy that I love it, if that’s what you’re suggesting,” A.J. said. “No way.”
“Just consider it.” The clock in the living room began to chime. “I’d better go. Morning will be here all too soon. I love you.”
“Yeah, well, later.”
July smiled. Regardless of his initial resistance, she knew A.J. would consider her suggestion. She hoped he’d not only consider it but give it a try. Because it was time both of them got rid of their unwanted baggage.
David reached the gate leading out of the Elk Refuge and stopped to stretch. He hadn’t seen July in three days. Not since the morning he’d kissed her right where he stood now. Instead of returning to his normal route, he’d continued to come to the Refuge in the morning, hoping their paths would cross. But so far, no July.
He wasn’t sure if she’d quit walking or had changed locations. Maybe after talking with A.J. she’d regretted the kiss and was attempting to keep her distance.
David tightened his lips. The guy called himself her friend. Yet he hadn’t come to Jackson to see her or Adam. At first he’d wondered if A.J. was Adam’s father. But now it seemed doubtful. Wouldn’t a dad at least want to see his offspring?
July’s little boy deserved better. He was an amazing baby. Alert and intelligent yet easygoing. Any man would be proud to call him son.
Of course, David had to admit he might be a little prejudiced. He’d known Adam was special from the moment the baby had struggled to take his first breath. And July…she was something special, too. He wanted to stop over and see her and Adam but he didn’t want to wear out his welcome.
Besides, July’s comment had scored a direct hit. He’d been spending too much time at Mary Karen’s. He did have his own home and his own life. If it wasn’t as robust and full as he’d like, well, that was his fault. In the meantime, he and Travis would be bringing pizza over to Mary Karen’s on Friday night. For now the knowledge that he’d get to see July and Adam then would sustain him.