by Cindy Kirk
Her tense shoulders loosened up and there was no denying the awareness in the depths of her eyes. Yet, for all her boldness and bravado, he swore he’d seen a flicker of fear when her gaze had first settled on the bed. As a physician, he knew it was important she be fully relaxed the first time she made love after giving birth. As a man, he wanted this to be as good for her as it was for him. That meant he needed to make sure she was ready, both emotionally and physically.
He trailed a finger slowly up her arm. “Have you ever had a massage?”
July blinked. “A couple of times.”
“Did you like it?” he asked, trailing those same fingers down the front of her dress.
July felt the tips of her breasts tighten and she mentally urged his fingers…just a little lower. She didn’t want to talk anymore. She wanted to hold him and for a few precious hours forget about the confession that loomed around the corner. “Massages can be…very relaxing.”
Satisfaction crossed his face. “I’m going to give you one,” he said. “But first—”
David took her mouth in a kiss that left her breathless and her body tingling all over.
Then with eyes black with passion, he stood. “I’ll grab some lotion. You get comfortable.”
He crossed the room and July couldn’t help noticing the way his pants hugged his lean hips from behind, the way the muscles in his back played beneath his shirt. She realized her mouth was practically watering. “Ah, David,” she called out when he reached the door. “The last time I had a massage I was naked except for a towel.”
David turned, his eyes glittering like sapphires in the dim light. “Works for me. I’ll be back in five.”
He pulled the door closed behind him.
July let the door click shut before springing into action. She stripped off her clothes then went in search of a towel. Though she’d hoped to come up empty, after rummaging around, she found a large one in the cabinet of the adjoining bathroom.
Ever since she’d come home from the hospital July had avoided mirrors. But with one wall of David’s bathroom filled with them she couldn’t help catching sight of her reflection. She took a deep breath and studied herself with a critical eye.
Her breasts, while larger than they’d ever been, were still perky. Her abdomen now had only the slightest pooch to it. All in all, not too bad. She smiled. At least not bad enough to send him screaming for the hills.
She cupped her heavy breasts in her palms and wondered where David was planning to put his hands.
Everywhere, I hope.
A knock sounded at the door. “Are you ready?”
July snagged the towel, then scurried across the room and dived on the bed. Her body quivered with anticipation. “Ready.”
The door opened. She raised herself up on one elbow, the towel carelessly draped over her breasts. July widened her eyes. Her heart fluttered.
Gone was the tux. In its place, gray gym shorts and a blue T-shirt. A five o’clock shadow dusted his cheeks. He looked…simply magnificent. And sexy as hell. “What took you so long?”
“I was trying to find some lotion.” He lifted a pink plastic bottle. His lips twisted in a wry smile. “This is all I could find.”
“Baby lotion?”
David grinned. “It was either that or cooking oil.”
His gaze dropped to the towel.
Though tempted to toss it aside and let the fun begin, July stayed strong and kept the towel firmly in place. Since David had gone to the trouble to find the lotion, she’d play along. For a while.
She plopped back on her stomach. “Ready when you are.”
Out of the corner of her eye she saw him stop and fiddle with some wall controls. Soft melodic strains soon filled the air, the dulcet tones coaxing any remaining tension from her body.
“Is the music too…much?”
July heard the worry in his voice and her heart turned to mush. He obviously wanted everything to be perfect for her. Didn’t he realize he was the ingredient who’d make this night perfect?
“I love classical music,” she said quickly before he did something crazy like turn it off. “It’s so relaxing.”
“Okay. Good.” Relief underscored the words.
Finally, he came to her and took a seat on the bed. He rubbed his hands together and, after a second, poured the lotion into a palm.
“This may be a bit cold at first.” But it wasn’t cold at all. Heat followed everywhere he touched. In seconds she was on fire for him.
But he seemed determined to take it slow. As he caressed her skin with his fingers, he talked about his childhood, his young adult years and what had brought him back to Jackson.
“I was running away from the memories. It took me awhile to realize that until I came to some sort of acceptance, I was going to be mired in the past no matter where I lived.”
If it was odd to be talking about such things while half-naked, it didn’t seem that way to July. But then, nothing with David had ever been ordinary.
Besides, his situation reminded July so much of her situation, she couldn’t help being curious. “How did you get past it?”
“I listened to other people who’d been in similar situations.” He squeezed more lotion into his hand. “Their stories reassured me that healing just takes time…and a desire to move forward.”
Speaking of desire…
His fingers were now skimming softly over her curves. July knew David didn’t want her to feel as if he’d invited her over simply to make love. But they both knew it was why she was here. Because it was something she wanted, too.
When he reached for the lotion bottle again, she flipped over and cast the towel aside. “It’s my turn.”
She didn’t have to ask twice. His gaze darkened and he immediately started shrugging off his clothes. When the shirt and shorts fell to the floor, her pulse quickened.
He was even more beautiful than she’d remembered. A smattering of dark hair covered his chest and abdomen. The hard planes of his body, the lean muscular legs and the flat belly all registered but didn’t compute. Her eyes were too busy focusing on the part of his anatomy standing at stiff attention.
She moved closer and slid her hand down the length of him. “I think I’ll start here.”
He stood absolutely still, his eyes dark as midnight fixed on her.
Using long strokes, July caressed him from the base all the way to the smooth tip. Then she pushed him back to the bed and dropped to her knees.
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” she said, taking him deeply into her mouth.
His fingers laced through her hair as she began to suck. His breath grew rapid. She felt him grow even larger in her mouth. He moaned.
Then suddenly, without warning, he lifted her up and she was on the bed next to him.
“You didn’t like it?” she asked.
“I liked it a lot,” he said then proceeded to scatter kisses on her face and down her neck. “But tonight is about you, too. There are so many ways I want to give you pleasure.”
Then his mouth closed over hers and July knew nothing except the feel and the taste of him. She forgot that this was the first time since Adam because once he entered her she was more than ready for him. She dug her nails into his shoulders as he stroked long and hard and deep. Each thrust pushing her closer to the edge. Each thrust binding him to her. When she finally shattered, he came with her, crying out her name.
David woke the next morning to find July asleep beside him. He raised himself on one elbow, reluctant to move farther and risk waking her up.
It had been a late night for both of them. After they’d made love the first time, they’d remained in each other’s arms and just talked. Though she’d shared bits of information about her childhood he got the feeling she was holding something back.
Where she didn’t hold back was in bed. It hadn’t been long before he wanted her all over again. And she was eager, too. With them, once never seemed enough.
But it wasn’t all about the sex. It wasn’t just July’s body he wanted, it was her heart.
He loved her.
David didn’t just want her for one day or one night or even one year…but for a lifetime. And Adam, well it didn’t matter if the baby was his or not, he already loved the child like a son.
Now all he had to do was find out if July felt the same.
The ringing of his cell phone split the air. Muttering a curse, he slid out of bed and hurried across the room to the dresser.
Thankfully July hadn’t stirred. He slid the phone open without looking at the readout. “Dr. Wahl.”
“David, this is Gary. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
David glanced at the clock on the bedside stand and widened his eyes. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept until nine. “No. I was awake.”
“Good.”
David could hear the relief mixed with a healthy dose of nervousness in the man’s voice. He wondered if he’d been too hard on the guy. Sure, Gary had been a demanding boss, but he’d given Celeste a lot of opportunities. Even if the hours were long and that last year she was on the road more than she was home, Celeste had loved her job.
“—next week. Would that work?”
“Hold on a second, Gary.” David grabbed a robe from a hook in his closet, tossed it on then quietly stepped out of the room. “What were you saying about next week?”
“I’m going to be in Jackson on Friday. I wondered if we could meet for a few minutes. Grab a cup of coffee somewhere?”
For some reason, getting together seemed very important to the guy. Gary had attended Celeste’s funeral—had come all the way from L.A. for the service—but they’d only spoken briefly. David remembered how distraught Gary had been, almost as if he was blaming himself for Celeste’s death. Though David blamed Gary—and still did at times—in his logical moments he accepted that the accident could just as easily have happened on his wife’s way to the store. The fact that she was on her way to the airport for a business meeting wasn’t relevant. David had wanted to tell the man that the day of the funeral but there had been too many people, too many friends wanting to express their condolences. By the time the crowd thinned, Gary was gone.
No, the least David could do was give the guy a half hour of his time. “Barring any big emergencies, I should be out of the hospital by four,” David said. “Will that time work for you?”
“I’ll make it work,” Gary said.
After finalizing plans to meet at a little bistro on the edge of Jackson, David hung up. Something in his gut told him that meeting with Gary would give him closure on that part of his life. Then he’d be free to open a new chapter…with July and Adam.
Chapter Fifteen
“I like having Uncle David with us.” Connor looked up from his spaghetti and focused his attention on his mom. “Can he eat here every night?”
“I like Unca David, too,” two-year-old Logan said loudly, his face covered in sauce.
Mary Karen smiled at her brother. “Your uncle is welcome to eat with us anytime.”
“Are you coming tomorrow night?” Caleb asked.
“’Fraid not, buckeroo.” David looked up from feeding Adam his bottle. “I have a staff meeting at the hospital.”
“What’s a staff meeting?” Conner asked.
“Lots of talking. Not much getting done.” David chuckled and his gaze met July’s. The promise in his eyes sent a rush of warmth throughout her body. “But I’ll definitely be over afterward.”
Ever since last Friday night, they’d spent all their free time together. David would come over in the evening and they’d eat dinner together. Then they’d take the boys to a nearby park, giving Mary Karen some alone time.
July and David had re-connected not only sexually but emotionally. And with each passing day she found herself falling more and more in love with him.
And now, just seeing her tiny son in his arms made her heart swell with emotion. You have to tell him.
Soon, she vowed. Soon.
“Hey,” David whispered. “You okay?”
“Just a little tired.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “It was a long day.”
“Tomorrow night you’ll be able to take it easy.” He winked. “I won’t be here to bug you.”
She leaned over and brushed a kiss across his cheek. “I like having you around.”
“July kissed Uncle David,” Connor called out.
Caleb wrinkled his nose. “Yuck.”
July just laughed. Anytime David held her hand or put his arm around her shoulders, the boys had the same response. “Did you tell your uncle where we’re going tomorrow?”
“To the movies,” the twins yelled.
David smiled but concern filled his eyes. His gaze shifted to his sister. “Tell me you’re going, too.”
Mary Karen shook her head. “I’m helping Granny write her speech for Sunday. She and her friends are dredging up old memories over dinner tonight. Tomorrow we’re going to put them in some semblance of order.”
He focused back on July. “What time is the movie? I’ll be done by six-thirty—”
“We’re going at five.” She placed a hand on his sleeve, warmed by his concern. “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”
“You know you can call me,” he said in a low tone meant for her ears only. “Anytime.”
Of that July had no doubt. The man sitting beside her was someone she could trust. Someone she could count on. Someone who deserved the truth.
She swallowed a sigh. David hadn’t brought up the matter of the paternity test in a long time, but she was sure it wasn’t ever far from his thoughts.
He deserved to know that the baby who lay cuddled against his chest was his son. And she needed to be the one to tell him…not some impersonal test.
Yet now there was an added fear holding her back. Would he want anything to do with her once he learned she’d withheld the truth? How could she bear it if he walked away from her?
Instead of taking A.J.’s midnight phone call in her room, July grabbed a blanket and made her way to the front porch and the old-fashioned swing. After several nights in the thirties, the forty-four degree temperature seemed practically balmy.
The stars hung low in the clear sky and the light from the moon cast interesting shadows on the lawn. A breeze ruffled her hair and July wrapped the blanket more closely around her.
She listened as A.J. talked about all the parties he’d attended since he’d gotten his new gig. Parties held by artists she recognized and admired. But for her, that crazy lifestyle no longer held any appeal. The life she was living now was the one she’d longed for since she’d been a child.
A home. A family. A circle of friends. How could anyone want for more? David was her Prince Charming and Jackson Hole her fantasyland.
“How’s it going between you and the doctor?” A.J. asked.
“I love him, A.J.” July sighed into the phone. “Truly, madly, deeply.”
“Have you told him Adam is his son?”
A.J. always had been a get-to-the-point kind of guy.
“Not yet,” July retorted. “Have you told Selena you love her?”
“Touché,” A.J. shot back. “Actually I confessed my love to a stuffed bear this week, so I think I’m ready to move to the next level.”
“Seriously? That’s gre—”
“I’m just screwing with you.” He laughed. “I’ll say it to her but not over the phone. We have a break next week and I’m flying to Chicago. I’ll take care of business then.”
“You’re waiting for the right time,” July murmured, nodding her head. “Just like me.”
“I’m waiting to say it in person,” A.J. said pointedly. “There’s a difference.”
“I know.” July tightened her fingers around the phone. “It’s just that things are going so well between us that I don’t want to mess it up.”
Silence sat between them for a heartbeat.
“Think about it,” A.J. said. “Can you really have a great relationship with that kind of lie between you?”
That same question had tormented July. She leaned back in the swing and gazed up into the heavens. “I’m just so scared.”
“What’s the worst that could happen if you tell him?”
July thought for a moment. As she’d gotten better acquainted with David, she’d realized that, unlike her mother, David was incapable of physical abuse. “Screaming. Yelling. Telling me what a horrible, weak person I am. Saying he never wants to see me again.”
Merely creating the vision escalated her fear. Her heart pounded and her breath grew ragged.
“What’s the worst that could happen if you didn’t?”
It wasn’t a question she’d expected. As she contemplated the possibility, a familiar tightness filled her chest. “The secret will ruin our relationship.”
“Sounds like you don’t really have a choice. You have to come clean.” A.J.’s voice softened. “I know it’s going to be hard. But remember, no matter what happens I’m here for you.”
Something in her friend’s tone said he wasn’t hopeful of a positive outcome. A fresh wave of despair washed over her. “This is going to end badly, isn’t it?”
“Quit thinking the worst,” A.J. chided. “It could go great. He might say ‘no big deal’ and you two can ride off into the sunset together…or whatever people do in Wyoming.”
It could. He might. Although July still held out hope, she’d had enough dreams go south to know never to bank on could and might. Those words were long shots…and she’d never been the lucky sort.
Still, hope was all she had. Hope that David would forgive her. Hope that there could be, might be, a happily-ever-after in their future. But most of all, hope that she could forgive herself for ruining both their lives if he ended up walking away.
The sun had already started to set when July drove into Jackson the next afternoon. It had been a long day made even longer by the fact that she hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before.
After her talk with A.J., she’d tossed and turned until almost two. All she could do was think of David and how she didn’t want to lose him.