I could have stayed at the palace. It was beautiful, clean, and luxurious, but it was also full of demons and secrets. I would have to take care of a drunk, fake husband and a very real baby. Or I could be in this flat, doing the same thing, but for someone that seemed, at least some of the time, to appreciate it. Either way, the decisions I had to make were no longer my own. The baby was growing in my belly, and I had already fallen in love.
After my mother had been tucked in and I knew she was safe, I started to comb the apartment to really see what the damage was. Besides being dusty and full of bottles, it seemed that mother hadn’t been able to completely destroy it, at least on the inside. I opened the fridge and held my breath, seeing the same food I had left in there months and months before, still sitting on the shelves, covered in mold. A deep breath didn’t even fully explain the reaction I had at that moment, but I shrugged it off and grabbed some gloves, getting to work making the place habitable again. At least I could find comfort in knowing the cleaning supplies would be right where I left them.
When the place was cleaned and the laundry had been started, I grabbed my purse and headed out for the city. I needed money, and I knew my mother wasn’t going to be any help with that. She never had been. I pulled up in front of one of the most expensive jewelry stores in the city, and I jumped out, trying to avoid thinking about what I had to do. The man behind the counter was kind and took my giant rock to the back to examine it. I had nothing else to give, so I had resolved that I would pawn the ring Milos had given me to pay the bills. It wasn’t my finest hour, but it definitely wasn’t the worst, at least until the man came back with the ring in his hand.
“Sweetie, I hate to tell you this, but the stone in this ring is fake,” he said kindly.
“No, there is no way. Are you sure?” My stomach dropped, and I immediately wanted to curse Milos out before realizing I was there to pawn it.
“Yep, it’s a factory-made stone,” he sighed. “But if you still want to sell, I’ll give you a thousand pounds for the band, it’s 24k gold.”
“I can’t believe it,” I said, still stunned.
“These things tend to happen from time to time,” he replied, obviously having noticed I was beside myself with anger.
“Um, yeah, I’ll sell the band then,” I said, as I realized I had no other choice.
The moment I took a thousand pounds for the fake ring, from my fake marriage to a real prince, was the moment I really felt like an idiot. I walked outside and combined that thousand with what I had saved from the strip club and headed over to the bank to take care of the mortgage. I hoped that they would negotiate a lower price for me, since I still needed to make sure we had food. Luckily, when I sat down with the mortgage representative, he could see what had happened and showed me a small amount of mercy. By the time I had secured our home for another bit of time, I was starving, and I figured my mother probably hadn’t eaten anything worthwhile in quite a bit of time. I looked at the money I had left over, which was barely enough for groceries, much less a ride home. I sighed deeply and went to the local market. By the time I had walked back to the house, my mother had begun to stir, so I fixed us a hot meal and sat silently across the table from her.
I looked down at my stew and thought about the grand dining halls, the huge chandeliers, and the beautiful china that once sat in front of me. It was so disheartening. I had spent a bit of time in what seemed like nothing more than a dream now, and I had fallen in love with a man that didn’t really exist. He had built himself up to be someone he was not, and at that moment, despair flooded me.
After dinner, I sent my mother back to bed, instead of letting her go out to look for her next bottle of liquor. Then, I set my room back up with clean sheets. I looked around the unfamiliar space and couldn’t help but reminisce of my bedroom at the castle. It all seemed like so long ago as I compared it to the room I was standing in. I felt nothing but sadness. I went to sleep that night, hoping that the next day brought me some sort of reprieve.
In the morning, I decided to leave before my mother got up, knowing she would be in full bitch mode, not having drunk the night before. I tiptoed through the house, grabbing a granola bar from the cabinet, and started my walk toward the clinic. I needed to have a doctor’s check up, since I hadn’t told anyone about the baby yet. Afterward, I needed to go start looking for a job so that we could keep the lights on. When I arrived at the clinic, I filled out my information on the paperwork, putting down my maiden name. I realized I needed to get that taken care of eventually. Knowing the royals, they would just wipe everything clear as if it had never happened. Just the thought of being wiped away made my heart ache, and I forced my attention on the task at hand.
As I sat on the edge of the small bed and waited for the doctor to return, I thought about the night that the baby would have been conceived, our wedding night. That was the night I had really given in to my urges and let Milos start seeping into my heart. I was stupid and look where it got me.
I had to swallow my pride and march back into poverty and loneliness with a child I had made with love. The doctor entered back into the room and smiled sweetly as she gave me the news I already knew. I was pregnant. She handed me about a million pamphlets. I thumbed through them while they set my future appointments. I allowed a tiny bit of excitement to enter into my mind, from the idea of bringing a baby into the world. However, as I trudged back home to the dirty flat with my drunken mother still passed out upstairs, that excitement faded.
All the pictures on the front of the brochures were happy, healthy babies held by their mother and father in a safe environment. It was almost nauseating how far down my flat was from where I had been just days before that moment. How was I supposed to provide a good life for this child? To be honest, I knew before that appointment that I loved the child that grew inside of me. If only I could have married the Prince Charming that had swept me off my feet on my wedding night. The man that looked longingly at me and worshipped my body. In that flat in Liverpool, the only thing that looked longingly at me were the mice in the corners, looking for their next scrap of food.
I knew I couldn’t sit there all day, wallowing in my own personal misery. So I did the only thing I knew to do. I grabbed the local paper and started to search for a job. There seemed to be more jobs than I remembered in the area, so I grabbed a marker and started circling everything that sounded remotely possible. From waitressing to maid services, I was willing to get my hands dirty if it meant I could save up some money and start a life for me and the child. While I was at it, I circled a rehab facility that I planned on forcing my mother into. She wouldn’t be happy at first, but when she had reached sobriety and held her grandbaby in her arms, I knew she would thank me for it. I knew I would be thankful for a sober mother, as well, especially since raising a child by yourself is difficult, and I would need all the help I could get.
Reality sure kicked me right in the teeth. I had just been surrounded by servants, luxury, and freedom. The truth of what I was facing afterward was harsh, cold, and uncomfortable. I knew I had to get past the heartache if I was going to survive any of this. Milos could keep his life in the castle. He was born and bred for it. I wasn’t. I just hoped one day, he would look back and realize what he really missed out on, feeling the emotions that plagued my entire being. I hoped that one day, my child could have a better life than I was going to be forced to provide it, without the trauma of life with a parent that loved the booze and the women more than his own family. I knew what growing up like felt, better than anyone. I was determined to walk into a brighter future and give my child the best life possible.
Chapter 18: Milos
The sun had just come up, and I had already poured my second glass of whiskey for the day. I was posted in my, now normal, sitting area and stared out over the gardens, thinking about the time I made love to Adriana in the hedge maze. It had been the moment I realized I loved her, but I pushed the feelings so far down that I managed to screw u
p everything.
The servants at my quarters were down to two, ever since I had developed a habit of screaming at them when they entered. I knew I was being more than an asshole, but I wanted to be alone, not in the presence of the babysitting crew I had come to realize was ordered by my mother.
I ignored the knock on the door, in the hope that they would just fuck off. The pounding was so loud, it shook my glass on the table. Eventually, the door just swung open, and I turned slightly to see Brat walking through my bedroom. His face showed anger, and he was dragging Zlata by the arm through the maze of bottles that were scattered across the floor. He let go of her arm and grabbed the drink from my hand.
“Drink this,” he said as he slammed a cup of coffee in my hand.
“Brat, I’m not really in the mood for your lifesaving tactics today,” I sighed.
“Just drink it. Zlata has something she wants to tell you.” He gestured in her direction, not looking thrilled.
I looked over at her and sipped the coffee in an attempt to at least appease Brat for the moment. She looked down at her feet and crossed her arms in front of her. I could tell she didn’t want to talk, but Brat had drug her here, and she wasn’t being given an option. Brat nudged her in the side and pushed her forward. She looked up at me and shook her head, being indignant as always.
“Tell him Zlata, or so help me God, I’ll make sure our parents know about your trip to the islands with that commoner from town,” Brat scolded through gritted teeth.
“I hired a private investigator to find dirt on Adriana,” she blurted out.
“You did what?” I was absolutely furious. How dare she stick her nose where it didn’t belong?
“Hear me out,” she said, putting her hands up defensively. “I knew she was a gold digger. When detective found out she used to be a stripper, I knew she didn’t belong in this kingdom.”
“Tell him the other part,” Brat growled. “Stop stalling.”
“The investigator also found out that Adriana’s pregnant,” Zlata said. She handed me a photo of Adriana going into a clinic. “But with her past, I don’t even know how you could think it was yours.”
“That’s enough, Zlata,” Brat said as he grabbed her arm.
“No,” she said, pulling forward toward me. “She is not right for you. Forget about her, get a divorce, and marry me. You know I would make a good queen for your people.”
“Brat,” I said with a tone of warning. “Please shut her up before I bring back the old tradition of beheading and placing bodies on stakes around the castle.”
Brat stepped forward, wrapped his arm around Zlata, and pressed his hand against her mouth. She stood there struggling as Brat looked up at me with concern in his eyes. I was livid that Zlata had gone behind my back and done something like this, but the thought that Adriana was pregnant had become the sole focus of my thoughts.
“Go to her. This is her address.” Brat handed me the paperwork from the private investigator. “You love her. I could see that even before you could. Adriana is a good woman, despite her choice in past careers, and I am pretty positive she loves you too, Milos. It’s really not that difficult. You just need to reach inside of you, figure out the man you really are, and pull your head out of your ass. Be the love that she, and that baby, deserve.”
I watched as Brat flashed me a knowing smile and dragged Zlata from the room. I set the coffee down on the table next to the whiskey and stared at them both. There was no denying that I was madly in love with this girl. When she’d first left, it seemed almost hopeless, but now, knowing I had a child growing in her belly, I was even more determined to get her back. I picked up the glass of whiskey and walked over to the sink, tipped the cup, and watched the last of it drain down the gold pipes. I needed to get to Liverpool, and there wasn’t another moment to be wasted.
I grabbed the coffee and took it into the shower with me. I scrubbed my body and refreshed my heart. The hot water no longer felt like an agent to wake me from my drunken state. It felt like the start to a new beginning. I picked out a casual, but nice, set of clothes and pulled them on, spritzing a bit of cologne on for good measure.
I walked out of my wing, feeling refreshed, and caught the eye of the servants who stood to the side. They bowed to me as I approached. I told them to get the jet ready and to call for a car service in Liverpool.
As I boarded my jet, I no longer paid any attention to the stewardess or the large bed at the back. I knew that soon, I would be facing Adriana and trying to convince her that our forever was no longer a sham or a joke.
As the plane soared high over my kingdom, I looked down and imagined flying home with Adriana by my side. Over and over again, I practiced what I would say to her, coming up with tactics to avoid that blinding fear that so often stopped me in my tracks. This time, though, I knew that fear was far beyond me. Instead, I feared a life without Adriana and our child by my side.
The flight to Liverpool wasn’t very long. I peered out the window of the plane and saw the degradation the city had fallen into. It was nothing like Silesia, and it bothered me that my wife was left in such conditions to fight for herself. An overwhelming guilt flooded through me, and I vowed to make it up to her and to her mother, who I knew would need to be part of this entire idea.
When we taxied to the runway, I was already up from my seat and standing at the door, knowing I couldn’t waste another moment. As the doors opened, I saw the car sitting out front, and I jumped in, taking the flowers from the driver that I had ordered ahead of time. I pulled out the paper that Brat gave me and handed it to the driver so he knew the destination. The look on his face as he peered in the rearview mirror told me all I needed to know about where we were headed.
I looked out over the city as we drove through it. I watched as workers headed home to their run down apartments and dilapidated housing. Suddenly, it occurred to me that my father’s fears weren’t that the wealth of his family would get squandered, but that his kingdom would find themselves in the same terrible situation. He was trying to protect the people of the kingdom, even down to his last breath. I couldn’t even imagine walking out of the castle and looking out over Silesia in such a dismal state.
As we turned onto the street where Adriana’s flat was located, I looked up at the battered and graffitied sign that read Toxteth. On the streets, we passed hookers, drug dealers, and thugs, all lined up doing whatever it was they did on a daily basis for survival. A few minutes later, the car came to a stop outside of an old, worn-down flat with the paint peeling from the sides and a pile of papers piled up in front of the door. I looked to the driver for assurance and winced as he nodded his head yes. This was where I had banished my love to, a worn-down, poverty plagued city.
I nodded to the neighbors as I stood from the car and straightened my shirt. They stared at me and my car strangely, as if they wondered whether I was lost or not. I climbed the stairs and breathed deeply, pressed the doorbell, and waited for Adriana to answer.
She opened the door, looking more beautiful than I even remembered. She looked at me with wide eyes, surprised by my appearance in her doorway. I stuck the flowers out toward her and watched as she squinted her eyes and looked at them. She reached her hand out and took them from me, but as she did, I noticed she was no longer wearing her ring. Immediately, anger hit my chest, feeling as if I had made a huge mistake.
“Where is your ring?” I tried to hide the anger in my voice.
“What do you want Milos?” She didn’t have the patience for me at that moment.
She turned from the door, and I followed her into the flat. I wanted to know if she had taken the ring off from heartbreak, or if I had traveled all this way for nothing.
“What did you do with the ring?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even.
“I pawned it, okay,” she snapped, turning back toward me. “The house was going to be taken, and I needed to catch my mother up on her mortgage. There was no food, nothing. So I had to do what I had to
do. It’s not like it was that valuable, anyway.”
I looked down at the ground, remembering how I had ordered some cheap, fake ring from an online store, thinking that it wasn’t important in a fake marriage. At the sound of her voice choking back tears, I felt completely guilty. She deserved so much better than what I had given her. At that moment, I vowed to myself that if I could convince her to give this a real try, I would buy her the biggest and most expensive ring I could possibly find. She deserved a thousand rings, and she deserved more than what I had given her to that point.
She dropped the flowers to her side in desperation and turned toward the kitchen. I followed along behind her, trying to remember all the words I had come up with to say. In the plane, they had seemed perfect, but standing in her run down flat, I couldn’t seem to make them work in my head.
I looked around at the blank walls and sparse furniture, realizing everything she had told me, everything I had found so horrible for her, was worse than she had described. She had no reason to be ashamed of what was here. It was the hand she’d been dealt, and fair or not, it had turned her into the strong woman I had come to know and love.
I could hear her mother shuffling around upstairs as we entered the kitchen. I stood in the doorway, staring at her. She looked beautiful, and I could tell she was trying to hide her belly from me. But it wasn’t like I could tell she was pregnant through her sweatshirt and yoga pants. Her hair had fallen halfway out of its bun, and I watched as she closed her eyes and pulled the blonde ringlets back away from her face. I loved this girl more than I could even imagine, but as I stood in her presence, in her life, I didn’t know if there was any chance that she would ever forgive me.
Chapter 19: Adriana
When my eyes first landed on Milos standing at my door, my heart skipped a beat, but at the sound of his possessive voice, I immediately became defensive. What did he expect? He had done everything he possibly could to run me off. And when I had, he acted surprised that I wouldn’t still be wearing his ring.
Passion: A Single Dad Small Town Romance Page 40