by Mandy Rosko
Except for Miranda and Lois, who were still new to the pack. They spotted her, and while Lois blushed and looked away, Miranda grinned. “Hey, Katie, going for a run?”
She was chipper. Someone got laid last night.
“Yes.”
“Want me to come with you?”
“No.”
The smile melted off Miranda’s face, but Katie didn’t have time to feel bad for her refusal. She wanted to be alone, and she didn’t want Garret’s mate following her. After his sister was taken, it wasn’t likely Garret would want Miranda running around the outskirts of the territory.
Katie puffed for breath as she slammed into the door, pushing against it, frustrated when it wouldn’t open, then angry at herself for not realizing it was locked. She unlocked it and stumbled outside. The fresh air was a brief relief before even that wasn’t enough to satisfy her.
Too hot. It was too hot, and her skin wasn’t adjusting.
“Katie?”
She didn’t know who called for her. She didn’t look over as she fell down on four paws, shifting quickly, shaking the loose hairs out of her coat just before she flew for the trees.
The rush of wind was better, but still not by much. Katie pumped the muscles in her front and hind legs faster. She dug her claws into the Earth and used it to propel herself forward. The exercise should have tired her out and heated her up even more, but it didn’t. It was a relief, as if she was expelling something from her body with a different sort of burning heat.
The ache was leaving her, but it was still there. Katie could still see Jax’s face when he found out she’d only been with him to help him heal. He’d been so disappointed. She’d never seen that look on his face directed at her before. There was more to it than just that, but the guilt was still there.
Katie ran. She didn’t leave the territory. She knew where the lines were, and she followed them, through the trees, across the streams, and even over a couple of roads before it got to be too much. The burning in her dry lungs was no longer taking her mind off the warmth in her lower belly and between her legs. She was just hurting herself now.
Katie wheezed as she stopped.
That might not have been the best idea in the world.
She was just going to rest right here for a few minutes. She wasn’t in a clearing, and the shrubs should keep her well hidden from anyone or anything that was stupid enough to come onto the territory, so resting seemed like a good idea.
Then she’d grab a drink from the stream and head out.
Katie snapped her eyes open when she realized someone had their hands on her.
She lunged with her teeth, catching Jax on the throat. She would have gotten his face if he hadn’t turned away. They were both still, her teeth barely breaking the skin, but she tasted the blood all the same.
Jax was calm. His heart rate barely accelerated when Katie caught his skin with her teeth. He barely breathed as Katie gently eased her fangs out of the holes she’d just put in him. He looked at her, his eyes hard, but his tone was pleasant, soothing even.
“If you’re going to bite me, you could at least wait until we we’re in bed.”
That threw her off, and it pushed her wolf back into the lower depths of her mind. Katie shifted, becoming a woman again as Jax lifted her into his arms and started walking.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking you home.”
Blood flowed smoothly down the side of his perfect throat. He was still dressed, so it was absorbed by his cotton T-shirt. It was black, but it still made the material look wet, and even darker than before.
Katie could immediately see he was in no danger, but she still wanted to do something about that, wanted to fix him.
She couldn’t do that here. “When we get back, I’ll bandage that for you,” she said, quickly adding, “I’m sorry.”
Jax glanced down at her. “Don’t be sorry. I shouldn’t have startled you.”
Katie opened her mouth to tell him it was all right, that she didn’t blame him in the slightest, but couldn’t speak the words, so she stayed silent like a coward.
“Why did you follow me out here?” she asked instead.
“Because it’s dangerous out here, and you’re good with a gun, but I doubted you would be carrying one while running in your wolf form.” Jax’s eyes glanced down at her. “Everyone told me you were walking around the house naked?”
Heat, and not the good sort, climbed Katie’s face.
“Don’t be embarrassed. I was glad to hear it.”
Jax didn’t crack a joke about how he wished he could have seen it. He did smile a little, however.
Katie shrugged it off, as if it wasn’t a big deal that she’d shown her body to the rest of the pack for the first time in literally decades. “I just wanted to go for a run.”
Jax nodded. “How about I go with you? I could stretch my wings a little from time to time.”
“You can’t fly.”
“It’s a figure of speech. Like saying stretching your legs.” Jax smiled down at her. “Would that be fine?”
“Are you asking? Or are you telling me you have to go with me and just trying to be nice?”
“A little of both,” Jax admitted. “Garret doesn’t want anyone running by themselves anymore. I agree with him, though if you want some privacy, I would do my best to keep my distance.”
He wasn’t just being nice and giving her some pleasant chit chat. He was offering her a real olive branch.
An ache pulsed in her chest. He was actually going to pretend everything was fine, that they hadn’t…
It felt good, yet she was guilty for being glad for it.
“Katie?”
“You can come with me next time,” she said. “You don’t have…I don’t want you hiding either.”
Jax smiled. “All right. It’s a deal.”
“I just don’t talk a lot when I’m exercising, so you can talk and I’ll listen, but if I’m silent, it’s not because I’m ignoring you.”
“Totally understand.”
He seemed so happy. Katie had told him all that so he could be disappointed now and get it over with. The way he smiled as they walked made it look as though this was the best news he’d ever heard.
Of course he would be happy with whatever she was willing to give him. It was a thousand times better than what she’d been offering him for all these years.
They were mated. Katie wasn’t going to pretend they weren’t. She knew what this was, but she barely let him touch her. Was that even healthy? If she’d been a human, she would have died of old age before letting him touch her. Hell, she was an old lady in human years.
Too old to be letting this get to her the way it was. It wasn’t fair. To either of them.
“I can walk.” Katie pushed against Jax’s chest. He easily set her down, not arguing or fighting with her.
That was the thing about him. He was protective without being too overbearing, but when he’d touched her last night, she gotten a taste of his alpha side.
She liked it. She never thought she would like that.
Though Jax had said Katie’s silences were all right, he seemed unable to go long without speaking. He sighed first. “Look, about last night—”
Katie tensed, interrupting him quickly. “You don’t have to say anything about it.”
“No, I do.” Jax’s jaw tightened. “I’m sorry. I know you did what you did because you were worried about me. I shouldn’t have put that kind of pressure on you.”
For the first time in her life, Katie was kind of irritated with this, irritated and angry with the assumption she couldn’t handle a little sex without falling apart.
“I didn’t just do it because I wanted you to start healing faster.” Jax was quiet. Katie purposely didn’t look at him when he looked at her. “I wanted to do it, too. I wanted to know how it would feel.”
She felt the tension around him thicken. Glancing down, his fists clenched, too.
�
��You probably shouldn’t say that to me. Not unless you mean it.”
God, even his voice was thick. A little hoarse, too.
Katie’s heart fluttered. The need and fear within herself warred against each other.
But she’d let him touch her last night, let him kiss her, pleasure her. She hadn’t flown apart. She was still breathing, still alive and right here. What was so wrong with letting him continue?
Katie looked up at him, and this time, it was obvious he was the one working hard to not glance back down at her. She felt his resistance in the air.
She forgot sometimes, because he was so calm and collected. She forgot that he was an alpha, and that his dragon inside could have just as much power over Jax’s body as any alpha wolf in lust.
“Are you holding back?”
Jax expelled a harsh laugh. “To put it mildly.”
“Why?”
This time, he did look at her. She knew he wasn’t glaring at her. He was just fighting the dragon inside him that wanted what belonged to it, what had belonged to it for years.
“Would you rather I just grabbed you and fucked you? I know you don’t want that.”
Katie did want that.
She gasped and stopped. The thought rushed through her head again and again, confirming it even if she’d been ignoring the obvious for so long.
Jax looked back at her, his face twisting with regret. “Fuck, sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Yes, you did.”
That tight look to his jaw returned. “Maybe I shouldn’t go out on runs with you then. Dane can do it.”
Katie shook her head. “No, I don’t want Dane running with me. Or anyone else.”
“I can’t do this, Kat.”
The pain in his eyes made her stop. He glanced away from her, rubbing his nose before putting his hands on his hips.
“I was able to hold back before. I got used to it. Just being near you was enough, but after last night…I got a taste of it. I can’t just go back to looking and not touching. Maybe after a couple of months. I just need to get used to it again.”
The fact that he’d had to get used to it at all felt like a thin blade through her heart. Sharp and painful. This had been affecting him, too, and he’d never complained. He’d always held back, and Katie knew it was because someone had told him what had happened to her when Dennis’ father, and some of the rogues they’d fought with now, were still in the pack.
He’d never brought it up. Never embarrassed her with it, but he did back off.
They’d created a sort of sick relationship out of that. Katie couldn’t believe it had gone on for so long. Like Jax, she’d gotten used to it, too, but last night woke up the wolf inside her. Even now she itched and ached.
When Jax had touched her, it was fine, it had felt right even, nothing like what she’d expected to feel.
Jax blew out a hard breath, clearly taking the silence for something it wasn’t. “We should get back. Garret wants to talk to you.”
“He does?”
“He wants to talk to you about the help you gave to the betas when we were under attack.”
He also likely wanted to remind her that she wasn’t meant to be fighting when there was an attack at all. Katie’s real job was taking care of the wounded and keeping the omegas and children calm.
“You think he can wait a little?”
Jax frowned. “For what?”
Katie swallowed. She wasn’t going to let this control her. Not anymore. That meant she had to be in control. She was the one in charge of her life, not what happened to her long before Jax became part of the pack.
“You asked if I wanted you to grab me and fuck me.”
Jax’s eyes flew wide. He shook his head. “You don’t mean that.”
Katie glared at him. “Don’t tell me what I do and don’t mean to do.”
Jax’s nostrils flared. His eyes, the irises and the sclera, all turned a bright shade of red. “If you’re going to say that to me—”
“I know what will happen. You’re having trouble holding back. I’m telling you that I don’t want you to hold back.” Katie looked him right in the eyes. “Do everything to me that you wanted to do last night.” She nearly added that she just didn’t want him to hurt her, but she didn’t need to go that far. He wouldn’t do that.
Jax inhaled two heavy breaths, still staring at her as if she was a prey animal. In that moment, she was.
He rushed her. Katie tensed, fighting against the urge to run away. She locked her feet and didn’t move when Jax wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up. The sloppy grip was painful, but Katie’s legs curled around his body almost automatically, easing the discomfort right before Jax pushed her hard against the nearest birch tree.
The wind was knocked out of her with that one, but Jax didn’t give her a chance to recover as his lips covered her mouth, claiming her, taking what was his. It was rough, so much harder than what had happened last night, but Katie’s body responded to it, to the touch of his tongue against her lips and inside her mouth just the same as she had done before.
He wasn’t doing this to her. She was doing this to him. She’d had so much power over this man for so many years and hadn’t realized it. All this time she’d thought he’d had all the power over her, and she avoided Jax because of it.
Wrong. She’d been so wrong to do that. Last night hadn’t been a fluke. This still felt good. It wouldn’t feel good if there was something wrong with her, right?
No, there was nothing wrong with her. There never had been anything wrong with her. Jax’s warm mouth was doing such a great job of sweeping her away that she couldn’t think about anything other than the pleasure, his body, and how much she needed to feel his skin.
Katie grabbed Jax by the ears, forcefully pulling him back, thrilled at the way he panted for breath.
Their noses were so close they touched. “Get your clothes off.”
Jax grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”
Katie blinked. “Don’t ever call me ma’am.”
Jax chuckled. “Bossy.”
“If you like it, I’ll boss you around as much as you want. Just get out of your damned clothes.”
He was definitely wearing too much, though she could feel the hard bulge between his legs. Knowing it was there made the heat in her body flare up a thousand times more, and the ache between her legs pulse.
Katie found herself rubbing against Jax’s crotch while he struggled to hold onto her and get himself out of his T-shirt. In the end, he got one arm free, but then gave up as he worked on his belt, undoing the button and fly of his jeans and tugging them down enough to reveal his cock.
A surge of—not panic, but definitely something that made Katie tense—overcame her when she felt the head of his cock touching her inner thighs.
Jax stopped, his red eyes staring right into hers.
Katie didn’t speak. She couldn’t. Neither did he.
Jax’s hands gripped the roundness of her thighs. He held the eye contact as he pushed the head of his cock against her opening, then slid inside.
It was slow, achingly slow. Jax didn’t tell her to relax, or ask her if she was all right, because he was trusting her to let him know what she wanted, what she needed.
Right now, she needed him inside her. Katie’s body accepted Jax’s cock much easier as he sank deeper inside, until he was as far as he could go, and Katie sighed when he couldn’t move any further.
“You’re all the way inside.”
Jax puffed out a breath, wetting his lips. “Yeah.” He thrust forward once, twice, then developed a smoother rhythm as he groaned, shutting his eyes, gritting his teeth.
Katie threaded her fingers through his hair. She clenched hard, until she heard a rumbling groan from deep in his throat that didn’t have anything to do with the pleasure of being inside her.
She needed something to hold onto. Katie needed to center herself while she rode out the pleasure of having all her inner walls stroked
and pumped.
The building heat, the intense pleasure, it was all him. Oh God, she’d been denying herself this for so many years. What the hell had she been thinking? This was amazing!
With each forward thrust, Katie found herself pushing her hips back against Jax’s, circling them, trying to reach more of what he was giving as the warmth and pleasure in her belly continued to escalate.
And she was perfectly fine. This wasn’t her first time, but it felt like a first. A first for giving herself over. A first for being comfortable with having someone inside her, and a first for having Jax inside her.
That was the most important part. The most important and best part.
The downside, because everything had to have one, was how she felt the ending coming on way too soon.
Katie opened her mouth, panting for breath as she let her head fall back against the tree behind her. The small bang on the back of her skull hurt a little, but she almost needed that to keep some semblance of control.
“You are so fucking beautiful.” Jax’s voice was raw and throaty. He sounded a little inhuman, and she knew it was the dragon coming out to play. “Been thinking about this for so long.”
So had she, but she couldn’t say that because if Katie so much as opened her mouth, she was going to start wailing like a banshee.
Jax didn’t seem shy about making noise. He groaned and rasped for breath as if he was suddenly in a race to the finish. Everything he said, and everywhere he touched, was like a match on gasoline. Her nerves lit up with each word.
“I love the taste of your skin.” Jax kissed Katie’s collarbone, his teeth scraping against the flesh, making her shiver.
“Bite me,” Katie gasped, her legs stiffening, toes curling. “Bite me, please! I’m…I’m close…”
She was on the very edge, and Jax pressed his fangs onto the spot between her neck and shoulder, biting down hard enough that it hurt, hard enough that he broke the skin, but it sent her pleasure skyrocketing. The pressure within her core, her legs, and in her toes, released. Katie shouted out loud, trying to hold back, but she couldn’t.
Jax grunted, his teeth releasing her neck, but the force of his hips made Katie bounce in his lap before she felt a warm rush deep inside her.