by Wil Wheaton
The few episodes where Wesley was actually not a complete tool were, I think, “The First Duty,” “Final Mission,” and one or two others. Those were the ones where Wesley was actually a fully developed, flawed, interesting person. If they’d given me more stories like those, and written my character more like he was in those episodes, it may have made it easier for me to miss the film opportunities that were passing me by while I was saying “Aye, sir. Warp 4, sir.”
GEEKESS OR VALLEY GIRL?
by Dyrandia on 08:54 AM October 15th, 2001
As a lifelong geekess whose first crush was on Wesley Crusher, here’s a question I’d love answered by Wil Wheaton, as well as the general male Slashdot population. Which would Wesley Crusher, in character, prefer? An attractive, yet slightly braindead, clothes/hair/nails-oriented girl, or her equally attractive, intelligent geekess identical twin sister? Someone who can’t carry on a conversation unless it involves who was seen where, with whom, and what each was wearing, or someone who can argue the pros and cons of which programming language suits a certain task best?
What about you as a person?
This is such a no-brainer. Geekess. Duh. Especially if she’s a karma-whore. That is so sexy.
DEAR WIL
by sllort on 09:27 AM October 15th, 2001
Wil, you mention in a LA Times interview that you dumped Linux for Windows because “While I’m a champion of open source, I don’t think Linux is there yet.” Was there a specific bug in Linux that prompted you to dump it, or was it just the entire operating system?
Thanks!
When I said “Not ready for prime time,” I was not putting down Linux. “Not ready for prime time” means to me that it’s not ready for The Masses. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. SNL wasn’t ready for prime time back when it started, and it was superior to virtually everything else on TV. Now that it’s been processed for The Masses, I think it sucks more often than not. Except Will Farrell. That man is a genius.
I had Linux installed, and I dual-booted for quite sometime, but I was never able to actually *use* it to do anything. I have given O’Reilly LOTS of my money over the years, attempting to learn how to run it, but it’s always *just* eluded my grasp. I had the hardest time just getting it to do things like find my sound card or give me fonts in X-Windows when I was running Netscape that didn’t make my eyes bleed. It also didn’t help that when I did my install, it never seemed to tell me exactly what dependencies I needed, so lots of stuff didn’t work correctly, and I could never figure out where things were supposed to go, which was frustrating to me. I rely on computers for too much in my life to make my primary OS one that doesn’t run in idiot (also known as Wil Wheaton) mode.
I completely support the Open Source and Free Software movements. Let’s just say that I hate The Borg as much as you do. I aspire to a complete removal of The Borg from my life, and I would like nothing more than to be the number one ex-trek-actor Linux cheerleader, with the little suit and everything.
So have I just lost all of my cool points, or what?[24]
PATRICK STEWART'S BALD HEAD
BY GENIE1 ON 09:40 AM OCTOBER 15TH, 2001
Have you (or any of the TNG cast) ever rubbed it for good luck?
Are you kidding me? We’d gather every Monday morning in the center of the bridge, cry havoc, and let slip the rubbing of Patrick’s head. We always wanted to rub Shatner’s bald head for luck, but he’d never take off his toupee. So we’d just rub his belly instead.
FAN FIXATED MOMENT?
By broody on 09:41 AM October 15th, 2001
While this may seem way off the wall, please give me a moment.
Kurt Russell, in the commentary to the Big Trouble in Little China DVD, talks about how his trip down the elevator on the way to confront “the ultimate evil spirit” has generated more comments then any other. Fans are always quoting back lines from that scene, particularly in elevators.
Here is the question: are there particular lines from one of your roles that fans repeat back to you? Which role do people most often identify you with when they see you in the real world? If you could change this defining moment to an alternate scene or line, what would it be and why?
People seem to think that it’s really funny to ask me if I really have the biggest one in four counties. (I do, by the way. But the counties are all in the former Soviet Union, and none of them touch each other, for what it’s worth.)
Something that I’ve noticed myself doing is quoting some of my own things, because sometimes it’s just too funny not to. Once, I was working on a movie in Kansas. We were driving from the set to the house where we were all staying, and it was close to a 40-minute drive. Now, 40 minutes in a city is nothing. But 40 minutes along a rural highway seems like an eternity. So we’re driving along, and I ask my friend if we’re there yet, and he says no, so I say, “Jesus. By the time we get there, the kid won’t even be dead anymore.” There is this pause in the car, and one of the other actors says, “Dude. Did you just quote your own movie?” I answered in the affirmative, and he says, “That was very cool.”
I find myself saying that things are “goochers” all the time, too. Does that make me lame?
I guess that the thing people say to me all the time is, “Were the leeches real?” They then turn to their frat guy friends and snicker, like they’re the first person to ever say that to me. I wait for a second, so they think they’ve really cut me down, and I say, “Yeah. Ask your mom about my scar.”
Finding new and preferably disgusting ways to degrade a friend’s mother is always held in high regard.
INDUSTRY INSIDER?
By Stavr0 on 10:47 AM October 15th, 2001
Since you’re part of Hollywood and somewhat of a geek (if you really are “CleverNickName”), here’s the thing:
Would you be interested in becoming a (scifi/hollywoood/?) contributor to Slashdot (a la Jon Katz)? I’m sure you could get lots of exclusives from Paramount, actor friends etc. ...
...assuming, of course, you’re prepared to be a lightning rod for all the Katz-haters cum Wesley-haters ;-)
You know, I don’t have a huge problem with Katz, and I don’t really understand why some people do.
But, as we’ve discovered during our little chat today, I am exceedingly lame, so maybe there’s part of the joke that I don’t get.
Sure, I’d contribute, but I don’t see what I could bring to the discussion that isn’t already covered here, because nobody ever gives me exclusives, or inside info on anything, which is exactly the type of blinkard, Philistine, pig ignorance I’ve come to expect from that noncreative garbage. They sit there, on their spotty behinds, picking blackheads, with their bleeding Hollywood Insider secret handshakes . . . I always wanted to be a Hollywood Insider, but they wouldn’t let me!
HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT BEING SLASHDOTTED?
By waffle zero on 10:51 AM October 15th, 2001
How did you feel about being Slashdotted? And did you expect this to happen?
Yeah, actually, we knew it was coming, and I got really nervous. I’ve endured some pretty horrible slings and arrows over the years, the most recent coming from MeFi and MemePool within 24 hours of my launch. This may sound totally lame to you, but I really cared what /.-ers thought about my site and about me, because when you get right down to it, I am just an insecure geek, hoping to someday sit with the cool kids. The guys who host me were a little nervous, because we knew that it would kill all the sites on the server. By the way, if you’re a weblogger and want hosting for five bucks a month, you should check logjamming out. They’re really cool guys.
I gotta say that the coolest thing so far was just being asked to do the interview, and all the positive feedback I’ve gotten from people who came to see my site. The whole reason I made my website is my wife is always telling me that I could shake the Star Trek thing, and the Stand By Me thing, if people would just get to know me. I’ve always been frustrated that people, inside the industry and out, have this
one-dimensional preconception of me. Building and running my website has given me a chance to challenge that preconception, and hopefully change it.
This interview has been really fun to do, and I want to thank Chris for asking me, Rob for e-mailing me and telling me not to be afraid, and everyone who posted questions and comments.
Oh, and that guy who said, “Shut up, Wesley!” That was really funny. I’ve never heard that before.
FNORD.
* * *
[19] This interview was done in 2001; I am using Linux now.
[20] This question linked to a website containing pictures of me at about 14 years old, called “Wil Wheaton: Shirtless.”
[21] ADR stands for Automated Dialogue Replacement or Additional Dialogue Recording depending on who you ask. It’s something actors do to replace dialogue when there are problems with production audio (like the doors, or an airplane, or a grip coughing offstage). It’s also called “looping,” because in the old days, editors would put together actual loops of film from the affected scenes and record the actors as they lipsynched themselves. It’s not the easiest thing in the world, because we have to have perfect timing to match the movement of our mouths, and also perfect vocalization to match our performance. Just about every scene where we’re walking down the corridors of the Enterprise was looped, because the floor always creaked under the weight of the camera dolly.
[22] The Prisoner is a British cult TV show from the 1960s starring Patrick McGoohan. It is easily one of my favorite TV shows of all time. I was introduced to it right after I started working on TNG, and I fell in love with it. In fact, without The Prisoner, I wonder if I’d ever have been able to grok what it means for Trekkies to fully nerd out over Star Trek.
[23] “Echoes” takes up all of Side Two of Pink Floyd’s 1971 record Meddle. (For those readers who are under 25, ask your parents what a “record” is. Living history is fun!)
[24] About a year after this interview was conducted, I did switch to Linux (as mentioned earlier). In my home, I have two machines, currently running RedHat 9 and a hard drive install of Knoppix 3.4, which is based on Debian.
Acknowledgments
WHENEVER I OPEN A CD from one of my friends’ bands, I scan the acknowledgments, hoping to see my name stuck down there, near Zildjan, Fender, Patricia Ford, Brianna Banks, Jenna Jameson, and Sky Lopez. However, my name is never there. Sure, I supported them, went to their shows, and listened to their jam sessions. But there is only so much room for thanks, and including me would mean taking out someone else who deserved to be there.
I mention this, because I really hope that more porn stars will e-mail me so they can make it into the next book. I also offer this as an apology to all the people who I love, and who love me, who won’t get thanked here. If I listed all of you, it would fill its own book. Having said that, there are a few people who were instrumental in seeing the book completed, and I would like to thank them now.
Mom and Dad, Jeremy, and Amy. You have been with me my entire life. Without you, there are no memories, and no stories to tell.
Anne, Ryan, and Nolan. You looked at my back for months while I wrote this, and endured my temper tantrums when I couldn’t get words to string together just the way I wanted them. You are my life.
Gene Roddenberry. Thank you for letting me spend some time beneath the wing of The Great Bird Of The Galaxy.
Mrs. Westerholm. In 7th grade, you told me that I was a great writer who would publish a book someday. Thank you for encouraging me. We need more teachers like you.
Mrs. Lee. In 9th grade, you told me that I was a terrible writer who would never amount to anything, because I was a stupid actor. Kiss my ass, baby.
Marian Fife. You took me from 10th to 12th grade in the “real” Starfleet Academy. I credit you with my relentless drive to be the best I can be.
Brett McLaughlin. You knew when to push, when to back off, and have an uncanny knack for picking out the stuff that sucks from the stuff that doesn’t suck.
Everyone at O’Reilly Media, but especially Sara, Kyle, Kathryn, Ellie, David, Mary, and, of course, Tim.
Loren Cox, Josh Sisk, and Ben Claassen. You guys encouraged me to build WIL WHEATON dot NET. Without your moral and technical support, the website would never have been more than an idea. The weblog that is the foundation of this book would not exist.
Chris Black and Hank Hedland. You’ve made such a difference in my career . . . if I ever get back on camera, it will be due in large part to your hard work and faithful counsel.
Travis Oates, M.D. Sweeney, Dan O’Connor, Tracy Burns, Susie Geiser, and Cynthia Szgeti. You all taught me how to trust my instincts and encouraged me to develop my comedic voice.
The cast of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Sunday Show. We found our funny together.
Sam Christiensen. When I (and Hollywood) had no idea who I was, you helped me discover my essences. Without you, I’d never know that I’m passionate, uncompromising, wry, crackling, unfulfilled, honorable, and too smart for my own good.
Oingo Boingo and Cake provided the soundtrack for the first draft. Massive Attack, Portishead, Underworld, Blueman Group and Dirty Vegas provided the soundtrack for the first rewrite. U2, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, The Getup Kids, Saves The Day, and The Pixies provided the soundtrack for the final draft.
John Kovolic. You are an amazing artist and creator, and I am so honored that you gave me drawings for this book. Just like Ben’s illustrations in Barefoot, you’ve added an entirely new and wonderful level of humor and warmth to my story.
The Monkeyboxers and the Früdø crew: jbay, Roughy, Spudnuts, Greeny, Colin, MrsVeteran, JSc, Bobby the Mat, and bluesman. BINGO, fuckers! Rest in peace, Colin.
Drew Curtis and all the TotalFarkers. Thanks for providing just the right amount of distraction when I was in the homestretch.
Jen Frazier and all the GeekMonkeys at ThinkGeek.com. Thanks for hooking me up with all sorts of cool geek gear for the cover shoot. I swear that Guinness just compiles better when I drink it from a pint glass labeled #include
Maryelizabeth Hart at Mysterious Galaxy, Amber Berger at Powell’s, Steve Jackson at Steve Jackson Games, and Warehouse 23 all stocked Dancing Barefoot when nobody was really sure if I could actually do this writing thing. Thank you for believing in me.
Everyone who has read, linked to, and contributed comments to WWdN over the last three years. You all encouraged me to write a book. Well, here it is!
Cory Doctorow, Dan Perkins and Rob Matsushita. Your advice and encouragement have made this book better and made me a better writer. Thank you.
Kathleen McGivney. I’m so glad we’re friends. Thanks for your encouragement during the “this sucks and nobody’s going to like it so let’s just get drunk” hours. Your One Eyed Cat has a Cult!
I must also give very special thanks to my good friend Andrew Hackard. Andrew took time off from his real job at Steve Jackson Games to edit the first draft of this book. Andrew’s red pen, knowledge of the rules of English grammar, and tireless support have made all the difference. Without Andrew’s devotion and care, this book wouldn’t have ever made it past the “hey, maybe I’ll write a book” stage.
Finally, Nunu and Aunt Val. Somehow, I think playing “The Gong Show” in the kitchen at Topanga when I was three had something to do with all of this. I miss you. I love you.
Further Reading
OF COURSE, THE STORY that you’ve read here is just the beginning. A LOT has happened since I first wrote this, and there are lots of stories that I just couldn’t include because of space and time, and spacetime (stupid laws of physics.) Some of the stories that I think are cool, but didn’t make the cut, are in my first book, Dancing Barefoot, which is also conveniently available from O’Reilly Media.
You can also point your browser to www.wilwheaton.net, and you can read all the original weblog posts, including the original comments! Marvel at my terrible spelling! Gasp in horror as I mangle the English language wit
h my “style!”
About the Author
Wil Wheaton may be one of the most unusual celebrities of our time. Born into stardom with the movie "Stand By Me", and then growing up on television as Wesley Crusher on "Star Trek: The Next Generation", Wil was in the spotlight nearly his entire childhood. Instead of burning out as a child star, he left fame behind and became a computer specialist in what Hollywood might consider the middle of nowhere: Topeka, Kansas. Now, Wil considers himself "just a geek", and both Dancing Barefoot and the forthcoming biography Just a Geek are about his journey in rediscovering himself and coming to terms with what it means to be famous, or, ironically, famous for being previously famous.
Colophon
The first draft of this book was written online, using Blogger, then Greymatter, and finally Movable Type. I took all that material and moved it into OpenOffice.org 1.0.1. Along the way, I used gEdit, Kwrite, and occasionally vim (sorry, but I couldn’t find the text editor in emacs). The first rewrite was done in Open-Office.org 1.0.2. Then I hosed the the gdm login manager on my Linux machine and moved everything to my iBook. The entire final draft was completed in Apple’s TextEdit.