by K. M. Galvin
Natalie leans over. “I can’t get over the attitude change with him,” she whispers, nodding at Caleb.
“We came to an understanding. Just get through it and try to enjoy ourselves, you know?”
“Just remember he’s acting friendly to keep his job, ok?”
Really? Like I need the reminder. I glance up at Caleb to make sure he wasn’t listening before turning back to Natalie. “Does it matter? We’re just friends. Fake friends. Sort of.” I don’t really want to explain this to her.
“I don’t want you getting hurt.” She grabs my hand and squeezes.
“I’m not some naïve virgin around a guy for the first time, Natalie. It doesn’t matter what his motives are. As long as he doesn’t screw this up and plays nice, who cares why he’s doing it. Right? Just get through the next couple of months, collect our money, get the book promoted, and go our separate ways.”
“That’s right, just making sure. I know he looks a lot like Max. I just wanted to make sure-“
“Natalie!” I cut her off sharply. “I know the difference between fantasy and reality. Give me a break already!”
“I just love you.”
“I know.”
I turn away, blinking rapidly because the sad thing is I never once thought he would fake his friendship. I never once doubted he felt a kinship with me because I felt it. His anger, his lashing out… it reeks of someone wounded by the world and I feel that. I got it. But maybe this is every single teen movie ever told: the hot guy never goes for the nerdy girl unless there’s some reason behind it.
And it’s never usually in the girl’s interest.
I glance back up at Caleb again. Yeah we had a deal, but maybe we could actually be friends.
Caleb tugs on my hair before asking, “You ok?”
“Yup.”
He tugs lightly one more time and goes to say something else but is interrupted when the event coordinator comes over the loudspeaker.
“We’re opening the door in ten minutes. All authors please take your booths. Lines will forms quickly. If you need assistance, please signal one of the aides walking the rows. Have a great show! And a very special welcome to best-selling author, Bellamy Strong, who’s making her first ever appearance with us today! We’re so happy to help make your debut! You’re a big reason our event sold out in less than an hour!”
Applause sounds out in the ballroom and I gulp. Sold out in less than an hour? How many fucking people are here? Are they all going to come at me at once?
Is it hot in here? It is. God! This outfit is tight. I can’t breathe in it. It’s so tight. Oh my God, it’s hot! That’s a lot of people. I’m so itchy. Why am I itchy? Am I allergic to latex and leather? God, probably. I can’t catch my breath. I’m going to start to cry and ruin my make up and everyone will know I’m a fraud.
“Hey!” Caleb’s concerned face fills my vision.
“I can’t do this,” I whimper, gripping his hands tightly. I need to leave. Where the fuck is the exit? I just need to leave. Get some air. Run for my life.
“Hey! Bellamy.” He leans in closer so the only thing I see are his incredible eyes. He moves my hands and places one at the base of his throat and the other over his heart. My fingers curl into warmth. “Breathe when I breathe. Can you do that, baby?”
“Don’t fucking-“ my breath hitches as I try to inhale when he does –“call me baby, asshole.”
He smiles at me and I bite my lip to keep from smiling back. I shouldn’t like him, but I do. He turns me into such a bitch, but he seems to love it. “Good, keep breathing. We’re not going to let anything happen to you. You just need to smile and sign. Smile, sign, say hello. Three things. Besides, they’re all here to see me anyway. I mean look at me.” He gives me his catalogue smile.
I roll my eyes at his lame attempt to distract me, but it’s actually working dammit. Smile, sign, and say hello.
“Sold out, Caleb.” I lick my lips nervously, my eyes darting to Natalie, who’s sitting next to me pale and clearly upset.
“I heard. You’re a big deal. I don’t think I really had any idea how big. How rich are you, Bellamy? Why are we driving around in a shitty van when you could be flying us everywhere?” he smiles, rubbing his thumb over my cheek
I take a deep breath, finally calm, and nod my head towards Natalie. “Ask that one. She wanted to do a road trip.”
Natalie makes a sound in her throat at the sound of my normal voice and launches herself at me for a hug. “Are you ok?”
“Yeah, just a minor panic attack.”
“That wasn’t minor, Bell. You weren’t breathing!”
“Hey, maybe don’t remind her,” Logan says, pulling Natalie off me. I smile gratefully at him and he winks.
I look back at Caleb. “Thank you.”
He holds his fist out for me to pound. “Team Leave Us Alone.”
“Yeah.” I tap mine weakly to his and brace myself for the next four hours.
An hour later, I feel like my flipping hand is going to fall off. Pre-signing all these books took days upon days; what no one told me was the personalization I would have to do. I need to come up with an alternative. This is one day; I can’t do this ten more times.
Shaking my hand, I look up and smile at the approaching couple. The guy is super hot in that Southern folk rocker way and the girl has long dark hair, curves that made my slim hips jealous, and sparkling blue eyes.
Both were clutching my latest release to their chest in a way that warmed my heart and brought a tired smile to my face. They were the last two in the line before Q&A.
Fucking rally, Bellamy.
Waving them over, I elbow Caleb to pay attention and give our last two fans his best. He sits up from his relaxed pose in the chair next to me, bringing his arm out from behind my back to give them a handshake.
“Hey man, good to see another dude here. Not that I’m complaining about all the chicks. Shit.” Caleb smirks in that “aw shucks” way, doing that secret handshake anyone with a dick seems to be born knowing. I snort and look over at the girl.
She was staring at him with a look, I imagine, similar to my own when I first set my eyes on him. Biting her lip as a blush rushes to her cheeks, she whispers, “Ohmygod. Max, it’s you.”
“Hey, honey.” Caleb throws a careless grin her way, as if it wasn’t as potent as a damn Valium. I roll my eyes as she practically melts into her boyfriend.
“Y’all are a cute couple. Who got who into the series?” I ask, drawing their attention.
Immediately, they both look disgusted.
“Sick,” the girl gags.
“I’m her friend. Marisol here somehow brainwashed my best friend into thinking she wasn’t a little lunatic.”
“Oh my God, can you not be a total loser in front of my idol?” she growls, and I smile, sitting up straighter as she turns to me. “Sorry, hi. I’m Marisol and this idiot is Blake. I’ve read everything you’ve ever written, like everything. You’re amazing. I love Max and Makyla. You look exactly like her! So weird! And Max, wow. I mean wow. Don’t tell Jason anything, Blake, but holy shit if I was single…” She practically undresses Caleb with her eyes.
“Thank you! That’s so sweet. I’m happy you love them. I love them, too.” I repeat the same shit I have for the last hour and hope it sounds genuine, but Jesus, I’m exhausted.
Caleb, sensing I’m struggling, suggests we take a photo. Blake lets out a squeak, shooting to my side and holding the book up like a trophy.
“I’m really happy to meet you, too. Just trying to play it cool, you know?” he whispers.
“It’s ok to be a fanboy. Lots of guys read my books,” I whisper back. “Your delicate masculinity can relax.”
Blake chuckles before turning towards Caleb. Marisol quickly takes his place and I return the favor for pictures with Caleb.
“I know you have books already signed here, but would you please sign my book too?” Marisol asks, her eyes comically big and pleading. Who can say n
o to that face?
“Of course! Would you like me to sign yours too, Blake?”
“Oh my God, she knows my name,” he whispers to himself, clutching Marisol’s arm in disbelief. I chuckle at their antics.
“I said it earlier, doofus. She’s just observant. All authors are. It’s their thing. They’re always paying attention, looking for inspiration. Who knows, maybe you’ll be her next victim.” She looks at me and mouths the word ‘please.’
“I would love to die in one of your books.” Blake looks like he might faint at the possibility.
“Well, the series is over and I haven’t started anything new yet, so who knows?” I smile politely.
“Max and Makyla are finally going to get together right? I mean, beyond fucking and denying they love each other. It’ll be for real this time?” Blake asks as I finish signing his book.
“You’ll just have to wait and see!”
“I get it. No spoilers, but for real. On the sly…” Blake winks.
“I’m not saying anything.” I laugh at his disgruntled look. “Sorry! Book comes out in a few months. You’ll find out then.”
“Let the waiting begin!” Marisol crows. “It was really great to finally meet you. I can’t believe how much you look like her.”
“Make up and magic.” I wink.
“Nah,” Marisol disagrees. “You’re her. And he has got to be the real Max. Am I right?” She wiggles her eyebrows.
I glance at Caleb, who’s watching the entire interchange with an amused look on his face. “Sure looks like him, but Max would never be so flirtatious,” I pause before continuing, swallowing thickly when Caleb’s intense gaze meets mine, “Max just takes what he wants, you know? He’s strong, smart, and loyal. He’d kill for her, live for her, he’d tear the whole world apart for her.”
I blink rapidly and clear my throat before turning back to Blake and Marisol, both who are staring at me, mouth agape and eyes shining.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wax poetic.” I let out an embarrassed laugh.
“It’s ok, you love him as much as we do,” Marisol grins.
“They’re total getting together,” Blake gloats, and they both walk away whispering to each other excitedly.
I watch them go, enviously of their obvious closeness.
“What was all that?” Caleb asks close beside me. I look over, surprised to see he’s moved back to his original position right next to me, an arm thrown over the back of my chair.
“What do you mean? How stiff I was with those two?”
Caleb waves his hand impatiently. “No. You’ll get better the more people you meet. What was all that shit you spouted while staring all dreamily at me?”
“It wasn’t about you,” I mutter, scanning the crowd for Natalie and Logan.
“I know. It’s a little disarming to have someone look at you like they love you, but know they aren’t seeing you.”
“Caleb, this would be one of those times where your bluntness isn’t appreciated.”
“Are you in love with some fictional dude that you wrote?” he asks baldly, and hearing it from someone other than myself or Natalie really highlights the bat shit craziness of it all.
“I’m not in love with anyone,” I counter and decide to be honest. “But I think I measure men against him and if they don’t come close or exceed, then I walk.”
“You realize how insane it is to compare a real person to a fake person. One you created… who’s probably faultless.”
“I know that, Max-“
“My name is Caleb,” he corrects sharply. “Look at me.” I do and it’s painfully embarrassing. “When you see me, do you see Caleb or Max?”
I study him closely before answering. “When I first saw you, I saw Max, but I didn’t know you.”
“You don’t know me now,” he counters stubbornly.
“Stop being difficult,” I tell him exasperated. “I’m trying to tell you that I see Caleb. My sorta friend, my partner in social anxiety, the only other member in Team Leave Us Alone. Ok? Can you relax now?”
His shoulders loosen and he lets out a breath. “Don’t see me for anything but who I am, Bellamy. Everyone looks at me and sees something else. Not you, ok?”
“I promise.”
I really hope I can keep that promise.
ANY CHANCE OF ME CONFUSING Max for Caleb is totally laughable three weeks into the trip. Max is simple, hyper masculine, and leans towards a tad too domineering. Caleb can be a total pain in the ass, high maintenance, also masculine, but in a very different way. While Max would walk into a room and punch a guy for looking at him the wrong way, Caleb would walk into a room and charm the pants off everyone.
As for domineering, well… Caleb can be pushy, but it isn’t about his own agenda. He is hell bent on breaking me out of my shell. Constantly testing my limits and forcing me to do things on this bucket list.
So far we’ve gone on a ghost tour in Charleston, on a pub-crawl in Washington D.C., a baseball game in Boston (he knew someone with season tickets, of course), an art installation in New York, and now we’re going to a concert. This time all four of us are going, and I don’t know how I got to this age without ever going to one, but yeah.
The guys are super excited because apparently a “pop up” concert is going down tonight by Childish Gambino. He’s filming his show Atlanta and word on the street, a la Logan, is he’ll be at Terminal West with a special guest. Perfect since we were only back in Atlanta for today and then leaving for the West coast tomorrow morning.
Natalie could barely stand herself since stalking Twitter, which reported the special guest is Frank Ocean.
Meanwhile, I have no idea who any of these people are, but since the terms of our drunken agreement three weeks ago, I have to be down for all activities aforementioned or newly added to the list by any member of T-LUA (Team Leave Us Alone.)
Stupid, drunk Bellamy strikes again.
Do I trust Caleb not to make me do anything stupid?
Nope.
Maybe it’s because we leave for Vegas in a few weeks and he’s mentioned a strip club at least once a day since we came up with the pact. Natalie and Logan are apparently “so in.”
I shrug my tan leather cropped jacket on. It’s too warm for it, but I figure its ok with the short maroon t-shirt dress I have on underneath. I pair the look with my favorite white Vans and a high ponytail.
Simple, trendy and a street. Sums up Atlanta pretty well.
God, it’s good to be home, staying in my own bed even if it is for just a night. It’s nice not having to meet strangers and be “on” all the time. Not that I dislike meeting fans; I’m enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would.
A knock interrupts my thoughts. “Bell, let’s go. The guys are going to flip out if they miss anything and I am not dealing with your man having another bitch fit.”
I roll my eyes at Natalie calling Caleb “my man” and blot the red lipstick I slicked on before exiting.
“Ok, sorry, let’s go. Did you guys order a car?” I ask, slinging my cross-body purse over my chest.
“Yup. Bernard in an Altima will be here in five minutes,” Caleb grins, walking over to me and wrapping his arm over my shoulders.
“Well, let’s go. Can’t keep Bernard waiting,” I say, leading the way to the door.
“Did you notice you guys match?” Logan points out as Natalie locks the door and we move to the elevator.
I swat Caleb’s chest and check him out. “Are you copying me?”
Caleb was dressed in a maroon, mock baseball t-shirt, black jeans, and white vans.
“Great minds.” He pulls me close.
He’s been doing this over the last couple weeks. Touching me innocently as I imagine friends do. Lately, it’s been with more familiarity but he never crosses the line. It’s like he’s trying to get me used to him…and it’s working. Any awkwardness I would normally feel isn’t there. I even initiate sometimes which is mind-boggling. I’m not a touchy-feely
person. Further proof he’s doing some kind of anxiety reducing witchcraft.
“Or we’re all spending too much time together,” Natalie counters, joining us at the elevator just as it arrives. “Anyways, who cares? We’re living in each others’ pockets. By the end of this trip, we’ll all look very Children of the Corn.”
“I hope not!” Logan laughs.
“I’m just saying, stop insinuating something that’s not there, Loge.” She shoots him a look.
“I wasn’t!” He looks shocked then grins, dramatic bastard.
“We’ve talked about this. They’re just friends. This will end when the tour ends. They don’t even live in the same city. How would that even work?” Natalie stresses, running a hand through her hair.
“Hey!” I call to her, but Caleb pulls me back as Logan moves towards her.
“Don’t think this has anything to do with us, baby,” he tells me quietly.
“Call me that again and I’ll rip out your tongue,” I warn him, giving him a gentle pinch on his flat stomach.
“No, you wouldn’t. There’s too many uses for it you’d miss,” he whispers against my neck causing shivers to race down my back, but I ignore him, my attention on the drama between our two friends.
“Did you know something was going on between them?” I ask as we exit the elevator behind Natalie and Logan, who are now whispering to each other heatedly.
“I thought they were just hooking up, nothing serious.” He shrugs.
“Seems serious now,” I point out.
“Apparently,” he agrees, and then pulls me to a stop when his phone rings. “Hey guys wait! It’s Bernard.” He answers his phone and turns us around to walk up the street a block. Too much traffic outside our building apparently.
The ride is quiet and awkward. Everyone wanting to say something, but knowing it’s not the time.
“I can’t believe your first concert experience is going to be this epic,” Natalie exclaims.