by K. M. Galvin
I grab my phone off the table and leave some cash for my bill plus tip, catching Natalie’s eye in the process.
She lifts an eyebrow, tilting her head at Caleb before looking back at me and smirking.
I roll my eyes and give a subtle shake of my head, but inside my heart is pounding because when he gives those little public displays of affection and he says sweet things like I’m his best friend, it’s getting harder and harder to deny that I’m starting to feel something for him.
In a non-friendly way. More like I’m going to tackle you to the floor and… yeah. Not friendly.
I get up from the table quickly and pay my bill before everyone else, needing to get some fresh air and clear my head. It’s starting to feel a little claustrophobic in here.
“Hey.” Natalie grabs my elbow and walks with me. I look behind us to see the guys still inside.
“Nat, I don’t want to talk.”
“Tough. We obviously have a lot to tell each other,” she insists.
“This is true,” I concede.
“We’re having a girls night when we land. It’s been so crazy since we started, not a minute to ourselves. Stupid boys farting and burping every second.”
“Oh please, you’ve been sucking face.”
“And you’ve been falling in love.”
I rear back, anxiety roaring through me. “No, I haven’t! I haven’t! Take it back, Natalie,” I gasp shallowly, unable to catch my breath, leaning over with hands on my knees. Shit. Fuck! Am I? No, don’t be stupid. There’s no way you’re falling for the shallow, vapid model. Except he’s not those things. And you’re solidly in the friend zone. Your heart is going to be so broken, Bellamy.
Natalie’s got a new boyfriend.
Makyla and Max aren’t yours anymore.
No one.
Holy shit, I think, gripping my elbows tightly.
“Shit! Jesus! Bellamy, it was just a joke. I’m sorry.” She pats my back, unsure what to do.
“Bellamy! What the hell did you do, Natalie?” Caleb inserts himself between Natalie and I, blocking out the rest of the world.
I rest my head against his chest while one of his hands pets my hair and the other rests against my neck, grounding me.
“Caleb, chill out. She freaks out sometimes, we know this by now,” Logan says, pulling an upset Natalie to him.
“Get the fuck out of my face. She doesn’t just ‘freak out sometimes’ you insensitive asshole. Once she’s calm, you’re apologizing for that.” His grip tightens and I wince.
“Caleb,” I whisper, patting his chest to soothe him. I did freak out sometimes, actually, but I appreciate his loyalty and protectiveness.
His loosens up instantly and pulls me into a hug. “Ok?”
“Yes, sorry.” I inhale a deep breath and lean back to look into his worried face.
“Tell me?” he asks, pushing my hair of my face.
I shake my head “no.”
“Come on, we need to go,” Logan reminds us. I look over at him and he mouths “sorry.” I nod in acceptance. A lot of people don’t understand and Caleb, in the short time I’ve known him, has become overprotective about it.
It’s not even really Natalie that caused the attack; I reach out to squeeze her hand. Surely she knows how these things build until one minor thing sets me off.
“Come on, let’s go.” I shake off Caleb’s hold and begin walking back to our home. Natalie rushes up behind me and loops her arm through mine.
“Sorry,” she whispers in my ear.
I shake my head. “Don’t be. I thought I was getting better.”
“You are! Bell, you used to panic at the thought of going to a small barbeque or on a date. You’ve come so far.”
“Interacting with people shouldn’t be so difficult.” I refuse to give myself an inch.
“We all have our issues and difficulties. Social anxiety just happens to be yours. Consider this trip your exposure therapy. It’s working, believe that. Two attacks in weeks. That’s progress, Bell.” She pats my arm and I allow myself a small smile.
“For the record,” I lean close to her so the boys can’t hear, “I’m falling into like. And I need to nip it in the bud.”
Natalie yanks open our building door and pushes the button to call for the elevator. “He likes you. A lot.”
“You don’t know that,” I disagree quietly, conscious of the guys entering the building behind us.
“His entire attitude has changed. Dare I say he’s actually enjoyable and kind fun to be around? Yeah, girl, he’s ringing you bell.”
I snort at her pun. “No one’s ringing anything and hasn’t for a sad amount of time.”
“What’s that?” Logan asks coming to stand behind Natalie.
“Nothing!” We both say quickly. Thankfully the elevator arrives and we all get in quietly.
No one says anything while we ride up the six floors in silence. That is until Caleb starts humming a very familiar song.
Natalie bursts into laughter.
I spin towards Caleb, slapping the back of my hand across his bicep. “Quit it!”
“Won’t you ring my bell!” he sings out, laughing down at me. “What’s wrong, Bellamy? You don’t like Anita Ward?”
“Not that particular song, asshole.”
“It’s a joke-“ he starts, but the elevator dings our arrival the same time my phone rings.
I see it’s Susan. “Aw, shit. Guys, we gotta book it. Natalie order the Uber, would you? Guys, please get the bags by the door. I want to at least be able to make the this lie sound somewhat believable.” They all spring into action and I mentally count to three before answering the phone. “Hi Susan!”
“Why are you not checked in yet?” Susan barks.
“We’re on our way,” I say quickly and glare at Logan as he mouths “liar” at me before going to grab more suitcases.
“I just checked the security line wait time and it’s almost an hour long, Bellamy. You need to be there now.”
“I know, I know. We’re coming. I’ll call you from the gate.”
“You better,” she says ominously. Jesus, sometimes having an agent is worse than having an overbearing mother. At least, I imagine it is. I let my head fall back, sighing.
“Come on, car’s downstairs,” Caleb tells me, heading to the door, my suitcase in one hand with his in the other.
I run through the apartment, making sure lights are off, windows are locked, and essentials are packed.
“Bell, let’s go, baby!” Caleb calls out.
I hustle towards him and point playfully. “What did I tell you about calling me that.”
He smiles. “I like calling you that.”
“Do you realize that’s what guys call girls when they can’t remember their name? How many girls have you called ‘baby?’” I ask, taking my suitcase from his hand.
I lock up behind us and follow Caleb.
He’s silent the entire time until we reach the lobby. Natalie and Logan wave to us when they see us from outside. I go to meet them, but Caleb grabs my hand.
“I like the way it sounds when I call you that.”
My mouth gapes a little and I force myself to grin. “Do you like me, like me Caleb?”
“Shut up.” And then he laughs.
Goddamn “non-conversations.” I hate them. Saying everything and nothing; in which case you’re better off keeping your mouth shut.
I smile stiffly. I’m not even sure if I want him to like me, we’re friends, but-
“Anyway-“ he coughs.
“Stop calling me ‘baby,’ Caleb,” I say seriously. “It either means nothing or something, neither of which are your intention apparently.” I walk away before he can say anything else.
Dumb fucking boy.
If you think things got weird after “the talk,” they didn’t. After all, Caleb and I were very good at ignoring the obvious.
We arrive in Seattle with no issue, Natalie and I immediately ditching the boys. We
don’t need to see each other until tomorrow at noon, and according to Natalie, that is the plan. Our rooms are separate, no reason to hang around once we have our bags. I’m still a little shocked at our abrupt departure considering we’re in an Uber less than ten minutes later.
By the look on their faces, Caleb and Logan were not expecting that.
“What’s this place called?” I ask, shifting my purse between my knees. It’s a tight squeeze with all our baggage.
“Cleets B&B,” she says as she taps furiously on her phone.
She’d been at it the moment we settled in the car. “Do you plan on putting that thing away? It’s girl time until tomorrow. You promised.”
Natalie stops texting instantly and throws her phone in her bag, “You know what? You’re totally right. Fuck those pansies.”
“Ah,” I mean, I figure she’s talking about Logan, but- “why are they bugging you?”
She shrugs and rolls down the window a bit, her usually pinned up hair blowing in the breeze. “I guess they figure that since we’re so tight, we’d do everything together. Not the case. Not if we want to make it to the end of this without killing one another.”
“Yeah, but your relationship is new.” I crack my window open too.
Natalie scoffs, flicking her hand dismissively. “Please. We’re barely official. We’re all in a bubble on this trip. You tell me when he goes back to LA and I stay in Atlanta, he’s going to want to stay together? I’m not stupid.”
I swallow hard because it somewhat echoes my thoughts, except sometimes I think it might be worth it.
“I think I like Caleb,” I confess somewhat embarrassed in the face of her nonchalance.
Natalie grabs my hand. “At least he’s an actual human and not some made up dude. Also, I say this with love, but major fucking duh.”
I roll my eyes and yank my hand. “I’m being serious. I like him, Nat.”
“Pause. We’re here.” She swipes her card and asks the cabbie to pop the trunk when we park.
We’re grabbing our suitcases out of the trunk outside a nondescript hotel and we exit, when it starts to drizzle. It had only just started, but neither of us are planning on having to change.
We quickly check in and drop our stuff off before grabbing raincoats and heading back outside. People who say girls take forever haven’t met us.
“Where do you want to go?” I ask, zipping up my coat.
“There’s a little Mexican restaurant down the street, walking distance and according to Trip Advisor, it has a great house margarita.” She loops her arm through mine and leads me a couple blocks before tugging me into a cute cantina.
“I hope we’re ordering a pitcher,” I murmur in her ear as she gives her name to the hostess. It’s a little early for the dinner crowd, but this place is already packed.
Soon we’re seated, munching on chips and salsa, a glass deep from our pitcher and waiting on fish tacos. Perfection.
“Un-pause,” Natalie says, pulling her hair into a messy ponytail. “So you like him. So what? Are you going to do anything about it?”
I grab another chip and pop it into my mouth. “What do you mean? Tell him? Ah, no.”
“Please chew with your mouth closed,” Natalie says, wrinkling her nose.
I swallow. “Yes, mom.”
“And yeah, why not? What’s the worst that could happen, he says no and you what? Stay exactly as you are. Besticles.”
I stare at her. “Where are you from that this is how things work?”
“The land of adults,” Natalie says drolly as she takes a sip of her margarita.
“Er no. This is not how things go. I’ll probably be his best friend for the duration of the trip, occasionally dress nice to remind him I’m female, act super awkward when he comments on it, and generally ignore my feelings. Works every time.”
“Oh it does? Is that why your last boyfriend was sophomore year of college and also your lab partner.”
I smile sardonically. “So you agree it works.”
She laughs and pours another glass. “Listen, I get you’re shy, but he seems really into you.”
“He’s a fucking model, Natalie. I’m a nerdy little basket case.”
“What guy doesn’t want to be the hero. He obviously loves going all ‘protective, he-man, alpha dumbass’ on you.”
“What a description, and yeah, I know. It’s kinda nice. Makes me want to fake an attack.” I smile and eat another chip.
“Lord, do not. If you don’t want to tell him, just keep doing what you’re doing. Between y’alls lusty eyes, one of you will combust. I’m just glad he’s a real life person.”
“Shut up, I’m not that bad.” I lean back as our waiter arrives with our food, smiling thanks before he leaves.
“No offense, but you were a total weirdo about Max,” Natalie says before taking a bite.
“Just because you say ‘no offense’ doesn’t mean you can say whatever you want and I won’t get offended, you know.”
Natalie shrugs. “Look, I’m just saying it’s nice that you like a guy that doesn’t seemingly check off all the boxes you have on a list derived from a fictional character. Odd that he looks like Max, but maybe you’re just lucky.”
“I don’t see Max when I look at Caleb,” I say firmly.
“Probably because you’re distracted by the dumb shit that comes out his mouth.”
My phone tings alerting a new message, and I let out a laugh when I see who it is. “Someone’s ears were burning.”
“What did he say?”
“He’s asking if I want to do a movie night. Apparently there is a Will Smith marathon on TV tonight.”
“Hmmm, cozy,” she taunts.
I shoot her a look. “Are we doing anything tonight?”
“Yes! Are you kidding me, Bell? You’re going to run every time he wants to do something? Let him miss you.”
I stare at her, indecisive, as she angrily takes a bite of her taco. I stifle a laugh at her aggression.
“You know what? You’re totally right.” I agree.
“I fucking know I am,” Natalie chews. Now who has bad manners?
Can’t, sorry. Plans tonight. I text back and show Natalie what I wrote.
“Nice. Vague and kind of impatient.” She nods approvingly.
“So what are we doing tonight?” I ask, putting my phone away. Otherwise, I’ll be tempted to check it every five seconds.
Natalie grabs a napkin and wipes her mouth. “Well, this list you have… I’m going to assume there’s something about cooking on it since you practically binge watch Food Network anytime you’re not working.”
“There isn’t, but the list can be amended since you’d be right. I want to attend a cooking class.” I bite my lip to prevent the smile that wants to grow there, please tell me she booked a class for us.
“Perfect! I can see you already know what I did.” She smiles and leans back in her chair. “It’s not dinner. We’re going to a wine and dessert class.”
“Are you trying to get me loaded?” I tease, practically bouncing in my seat.
Natalie smiles slowly and signals for the check. “We have an hour to find this place.”
SEVERAL HOURS AND TWO BOTTLES of wine later, we enter the hotel, giggling madly.
“I want to find Logan,” Natalie grins slyly, texting him as we head towards the elevator.
I stumble behind her, yawning. “You want to find Logan’s peen.”
Natalie slaps my shoulder and presses the button calling for the elevator. Her phone dings and she snickers, “Room 308. Come on, let’s go.”
“What do you mean ‘let’s’?”
“Let’s see what they’re doing!”
“What happened to playing hard to get?” I stifle another yawn.
“Ugh, fine. We’re right down the hall,” she says as we exit to the third floor. “I’m kicking Caleb out, do you care if he sleeps in our room at least?”
I exhale roughly from my nose and glare at h
er. “Do not make a habit out of this.”
She squeals and kisses my cheek before heading down the hall in the opposite direction. Sighing, I head towards our room and hurry to change into my pajama’s before Caleb comes over.
Heading into the bathroom, I catch a glimpse of myself in my favorite baggy boxers and a loose tank top. Not sexiest sleepwear, but I guess that’s probably a good thing.
I wash my face, brush my teeth and am throwing my hair into a messy bun when there’s a knock on the door. I stare at it, my heart picking up speed, and I try to breathe through it.
It’s been years since I had a guy sleep in the same room as me. Shaking my head at the nerves, I head to the door as he knocks again. After a quick glance in the peephole, I’ve seen Dateline, people, I open the door.
He smiles the minute he sees me and all my nerves vanish. Why do the nerves come like an avalanche in anticipation of seeing him, but fall away the minute I do?
It’s like I’m scared he doesn’t exist.
“Hey, wino. You going to let me in?”
You already are, I think before widening the door and stepping out of the way.
“I missed you, did you have fun?” he asks, dropping his laptop on the bed.
He says such things so easily, not knowing I grab that simple statement and hold it close.
“It was great. How was your night?” I move to stand nervously by my bed, suddenly very aware of the intimacy.
“Quiet. Why are you standing so awkwardly? You’re making me uncomfortable.”
Instantly I feel better and plop down on my bed. “Do you always say whatever comes into your head?”
He shrugs and shoves his pillows behind him as he stretches out. I take in his blue plaid pajama pants and plain white t-shirt. Such innocuous clothing on anyone else, but on him it’s the sexist I’ve ever seen him. Relaxed and sleep rumpled.
“Are you going to bed right now?” he asks, opening his laptop and pulling up Netflix.
“No, I was going to read a little. Quiet my mind first.”
“Want to watch a movie with me instead?”
“On your computer?” I ask, fearing and loving where this was going.