No one ever stays. Audrey was sorry for her, but she wasn't willing to stay either, and it might be good for Annabelle to have to take care of her children herself for a change. Audrey was rejoicing at the prospect of being alone with Molly. She was beginning to talk now and each moment she spent with her was a pleasure.
Audrey stood for a long moment, looking down at her sister. I'm sorry, Annie.
Get out of my room! Annabelle shouted at her, hurling her hairbrush at the door. Get out of my house! Audrey closed the door softly behind her and she heard the sound of breaking glass shortly after.
Four days later, she closed the last of her bags, and looked around her room. She had no regrets. She could hardly wait to leave, even though Annabelle had come sobbing to her the night before, begging her not to go. Two of the maids had quit once they knew Audrey was leaving, and both the cook and the butler had retired the month before, shortly after her grandfather's death. It was time for all of them to start fresh, Annabelle as well as Audrey, and for the first time in her life she was being forced to stand on her own two feet. As she put her bag in the hall with a sigh, Audrey wondered how she would manage. And as she looked down the hall, she wondered when she would see this house again, if ever. And it would surely no longer be the same. Once Annabelle got used to being on her own, she would probably go wild and sell everything in it, or throw everything out and redecorate, and it was unlikely that she would be decent enough to ask Audrey's permission.
Annabelle did not get up to say good-bye to her before she left, and the children were still sleeping. Audrey quietly dressed Mai Li, and they had breakfast in the kitchen, and the chauffeur drove them to the airport with all their things. She had decided to fly to New York to save time, rather than take the train, and then they would board the Normandie, the French line's newest and most wonderful ship, and she planned to get off in Southampton. She was hoping to see Charlie as well, and she was planning to call him as soon as she got to London. Perhaps he was too angry with her and the damage could not be repaired. But she had to try. She owed herself that much. He was the only man she had ever loved, and it was worth one more try to see him.
She shook hands with all of the servants before she left, and scooped Molly up in her arms, and walked down the front steps with the child in one arm, and her vanity case in the other. It was the same vanity case she had taken with her to China and she smiled to herself now as she remembered the endless trip on the trains, clutching the useless object on her lap as Charles threatened to toss it out or trade it for a couple of fat chickens. She could hardly wait to see him now. And the long flight to New York seemed to pass in minutes as she thought again and again of her final destination. She had no regrets about leaving San Francisco, and she could feel her heart thump as the plane got under way. There was something so exhilarating about going away ' traveling anywhere ' she had the same feeling when they boarded the ship in New York, and she remembered meeting Violet and James only two years before on the Mauretania. But this time there was no one who particularly interested her on the crossing and although the Normandie was extraordinary in every way, she spent most of her time with Mai Li, or reading in a deck chair while Mai Li played nearby, and she ate most of her meals in their cabin. She didn't want to leave the child with an unfamiliar maid while she went to dine, and she was perfectly content to lead a solitary life. Most of the time she still wore black, and she was lost in her own thoughts, and anxious to see Charlie. She hadn't seen him since he left her on the sidewalk and drove away, after she turned down his proposal. The very thought touched her heart again, and she felt the same dull ache she always felt when she thought of him. But it was exhilarating docking in Southampton. She was only hours away from him now, and the trip to London sped by, it was only a little while later that she checked into Claridge's again, as she had before, and asked the operator to connect her with his number. He was out when she called, but it was still only midafternoon. He was probably out for the afternoon or perhaps even away for a few days. If she didn't reach him by the following day, she could send a note to his flat, or ask Violet and James if they knew where he was when she called them in Antibes, which she finally did late the next day. Lady Vi came on the line, and it was a terrible connection.
Violet? ' Can you hear me? ' It's Audrey ' Audrey Driscoll ' What? ' What did you say? '
I said ' where ' are ' you? The line kept fading in and out, and Audrey could barely hear her.
I'm in London.
Where are you staying?
At Claridge's.
Where? ' never ' mind ' When are you ' coming ' down? They had been in Antibes since June, and Audrey imagined that it was as festive as ever.
Maybe at the end of this week.
What?
This weekend.
Jolly good. How are you?
Fine. She had wanted to tell her about Molly, still hadn't, and now it would have to wait. It was an impossible subject to tackle with a bad phone connection to the South of France. How are you and James, and the children?
We're fine ' The line faded out completely then, and all Audrey could hear was something that sounded like edding.
What did you say? ' this is an awful ' connection ' .
Yes ' it is ' I said ' we just came back ' from ' edding. The line did it again, and Audrey almost groaned in exasperation.
From where?
Suddenly like clouds parting to reveal the sun, the connection improved and Audrey almost fainted as she finally heard the words clearly. Charlie's wedding.
What? She sat rigid on the bed, as though someone had slapped her.
I said ' we just got back from Charlie's ' wedding ' it was lovely ' . Oh, God ' oh, no ' no ' please God ' not Charlie ' .
I ' oh ' It was almost like a physical blow and for a moment words failed her.
Are you there? ' Audrey, can you hear me? '
Yes, barely ' Who did he marry? ' Not that it really mattered.
Charlotte Beardsley ' his publisher's daughter ' There was no point attempting to explain that the girl had been chasing him for two years and had followed him to Egypt and literally camped at his feet. James said that it would never last, that it was an obsession she'd soon tire of when she knew him better, and he couldn't imagine why Qiarles had given in to her, except that somehow Vi suspected there was a reason. They got married in Hampshire ' . We just got back.
Audrey was still painfully quiet at her end, and fighting to hold back the tears that choked her. That's nice ' . Her voice was too faint for Violet to hear her and this time it had nothing to do with the connection.
When are you coming down?
I don't know ' I ' She suddenly remembered why she had come to London, and there was no point staying there now. That was why his phone hadn't answered. She shuddered at what it would have been like to have been answered by Charlotte, now Charlotte Parker-Scott. And suddenly all Audrey wanted was to get out of London. What about tomorrow? Is that too soon? She glanced at Mai Li playing in the room beyond, and decided that she'd better say something.
That's lovely, Audrey! Will you fly?
She was in no hurry now. I'll take the train. And Violet ' I'm bringing my daughter.
Your what? The line had begun crackling again.
My daughter! Audrey shouted.
Tell me when you arrive. Anything you bring is fine. We have lots of room for you.
Thank you ' Her lip trembled as she said good-bye. I'll see you tomorrow.
Au revoir. We shall meet you at the train.
Fine. They both rang off, and Audrey sat staring into space for a long, long time, thinking of what she had heard from her old friend. It seemed unbelievable somehow. Charlie, whom she had loved so much, whom she had come to see, was now married to a woman named Charlotte.
Chapter 26
The train arrived at the station in Antibes at exactly eight forty-three the next morning. Audrey was sitting by the window in a light blue linen dress and espadrilles she had bought the last t
ime she was in Antibes two years before, and Mai Li was wearing a pink cotton dress with a white pinafore and a pink bow in her hair, and she looked like a little Chinese angel. She sat on Audrey's lap as the train pulled in, and she looked fascinated by the activity beyond. Audrey glanced out, hoping to see Violet and James, but she couldn't see them at first, and she went about the business of finding a porter to unload her bags, and she and Molly were already on the platform when she saw them. They hadn't changed a bit. And Violet looked exquisite in a diaphanous white dress with a huge white hat, and a pink scarf around her neck, barely concealing a rope of pearls the size of mothballs. And James was wearing a navy and white shirt, loose white pants, and navy espadrilles, and he looked much more French than English. It was Violet who ran to Audrey first, and she stopped suddenly as she reached her and saw Molly in her arms, her eyes wide with fascination as she stared at the beautiful lady.
Hat! she said as she pointed and they both laughed as Violet turned questioning eyes to Audrey.
And who is this? She didn't look accusing, only curious, as James told the porter where to take the bags.
Audrey laughed. I tried to tell you on the phone yesterday, but the connection was so awful. This is my daughter, Molly.
My, my ' Violet looked naughtily at Audrey and waggled a finger. So that's what you were doing over there. I must say ' she's very pretty ' . Violet leaned forward as she stroked the silky black hair. Darling, who was her father?
Actually, I'm not sure. Violet's eyes widened further in surprise at Audrey's answer. I think a Japanese soldier.
Violet pursed her lips at that. You mustn't tell anyone that. Pretend it was a well-known philosopher. Or someone in government, someone terribly important.
I say, who's this? James had come upon them and gave Audrey a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek as he glanced at the baby.
Violet answered for her. Look, darling, Audrey's had a little Chinese baby. Audrey laughed at the description, and decided to save her reputation before the game went too far, although neither Violet nor James seemed upset to think that she'd had an illegitimate Chinese baby. It was amazing how open-minded they were, and Audrey found herself wondering if anything would shock them.
Actually, her mother died at the orphanage while I was there, and I brought Mai Li home with me and adopted her.
James smiled at their old friend as he led her to the car, and Violet played with Molly, tickling her as she giggled. Your grandfather must have been pleased. Audrey laughed at the memory of his initial reaction, but he had been so good to Molly after that ' even remembering her in his will, as my great-grandchild Molly Driscoll ' Audrey had been so touched by that.
He got used to her eventually. He loved her very much.
Violet frowned at her then, as they settled into the enormous Mercedes. Charles didn't say anything about her to us, after he was out to see you last September. How like him. She looked at James and they laughed as Audrey fought not to let the pain she felt show on her face. She felt rooted to the spot just hearing his name, and hoped they wouldn't tell her about the wedding. Yet eventually, she'd have to know, she'd want to know, at least who he had married and why. There had to be some deeper explanation. It didn't seem possible that he had just fallen in love in the past year, and run off to get married. He wasn't that sort of person, at least ' she fought heroically to push him from her mind and turn her thoughts back to James and Violet. They drove to the villa as the three of them chatted, and Audrey was enchanted to find that very little had changed there. The room they gave her was the same one she'd had before, with a peaceful view over the Mediterranean, and they opened a door between it and the adjoining guest room, giving her a room for Mai Li as well, although they hadn't been expecting her. But they were enjoying a lull between houseguests, having just come back from Charlie's wedding. And finally, as they watched the sunset on the terrace, she asked Violet about the girl he had married. She had to know something about her ' had to ' and James was inside opening wines for their dinner so that they could breathe before he served them. He was especially fond of Haut-Brion, which they had laughingly called O'Brien the summer she was first there, and Mouton Rothschild, which he liked even better. They ate and drank extremely well in the South of France, but Audrey wasn't thinking of any of that now.
Charles never mentioned a woman to me when I saw him in San Francisco. She said it hesitantly, embarrassed to admit how much it mattered to her, even to Lady Violet.
Audrey, I'm so sorry ' and I told you so bluntly on the phone. Somehow I assumed it was all over for both of you. He was so definite about it when he came back from San Francisco.
Audrey looked deeply troubled as she looked at her friend. What did he say?
Not much in fact, except that it was over. You were settled there, and he had his own life to lead. And I must say, he went about it with a vengeance. Audrey nodded, understanding only too well why.
He asked me to marry him again .' She turned anguished eyes to Lady Vi. But Violet ' I couldn't. How could I leave my grandfather then? It wouldn't have been right ' I just couldn't. I suggested he live in San Francisco for a while. But of course he couldn't do that either ' we were both trapped by our obligations.
And he left in a huff, I suppose. Violet knew him well and Audrey nodded.
He was furious. Of course he was hurt as much as angry, but he refused to understand what held me there.
You have to realize, Audrey, the man has no responsibilities of his own ' never has had ' except of course his brother. But he was practically a child then himself, and he didn't yet have the taste for travel. Once you get that, you never settle down. I'm not sure he ever will actually. At least not in a conventional sense. The amazing thing about you is that you like all that mad jauntering about as much as he does. Audrey smiled and wiped her eyes with the handkerchief she had in her pocket. And James watched them from the dining room, thinking what a lovely portrait they both made. He stood drinking a kir, sensing that confidences were being exchanged and not wanting to interrupt them.
The damn stupid thing, Lady Vi went on, she was not going to hide her feelings from Audrey. She had made no secret of how she felt almost from the beginning. She had even been frank with Charles, once, but he had refused to believe her. The stupid thing is that I don't think that woman loves him. She wanted him ' oh God, yes ' she wanted him desperately, like an object one must have, or a fabulously dear piece of land ' a castle perhaps ' or a mountaintop one must climb. I think she sees marrying Charles as an achievement. Audrey was intrigued as she listened to her friend.
But apparently he must love her. She blew her nose again and dabbed at the eyes that refused to stop crying. But it felt good to be candid with her friend. She had to talk to somebody about him.
You know. Lady Vi squinted at the sun as she sank back in her chair with a pensive look. I've never been quite certain he does. I think he's convinced himself. And she certainly makes life easy for him. Good Lord, she does everything for the man except put his shoes on for him. It's really quite disgusting.
And in contrast there I was refusing to give an inch, standing by my grandfather till the end.
It's hardly something one would condemn you for. Lady Vi was still angry that Charlie had married Charlotte Beardsley. And she had cried copiously at their wedding, but not because she thought the ceremony touching. But James had warned her about being too outspoken about it, or they would lose Charlie's friendship. He seemed determined to defend the girl no matter what. Perhaps because he knew no one else would.
Is she very beautiful? Audrey looked like a heartbroken child as she asked and Lady Vi shook her head.
No, she's not ' handsome perhaps ' or maybe attractive is the better word. And she's very expensively put together. All the latest styles, and everything terribly expensive. I think her father has spoiled her rotten. And of course they have a great deal of money. Lady Vi said it as the supreme condemnation, but what she was saying of course was that they
had money and no class, although she would never have put it as bluntly to Audrey. And Charles says she has an excellent head for business. She has taken over handling his books, and she's done extremely well for him. She's even sold the film rights for two of his novels, which is something Charles would never have thought of on his own.
It sounds as though she's good for him. And then she asked what she really wanted to know. Is he happy?
Lady Violet thought about it for a long time and then looked her friend in the eye. No, he's not. He says he is, but to be honest with you, I don't believe him. James would kill me for telling you that, but it's what I think. I think he's fooling himself about what he feels for her. I think he made up his mind to get married, and she was there, dancing through hoops for him, so he told himself it was right. But there's no joy there, no spark, no excitement ' it's not what you shared, from everything I understand. When he talked about you, he either looked as though he were in heaven or in hell, and most of the time, he was, they both remembered when she had refused to leave Harbin, but there's none of that now. He only looks half alive. Numb actually. Although he claims to be having a wonderful time. But even if he is, he won't be for long. I think that behind the mask, Charlotte Beardsley is a very difficult woman. I think there are reasons why she hasn't been married until now. I think she went after what she wanted in life. She wanted a career, and she has one, a big one, and then she decided she wanted a husband and she got that. But what she'll do with him now is beyond me. She'll have him like a puppet on a string eventually, and Charlie will hate every minute of it. She's going to turn him into a factory for books and films, and making pots of money. It's the only thing she understands really ' she doesn't understand what makes people like you and Charles tick, that marvelous wanderlust that takes you all over the world, just sniffing out funny smells and taking photographs of unusual people.
Taking photographs of what? James had finally joined them after all, and he looked suspiciously at his wife. He had made a great point of telling her not to discuss Charles with Audrey. There was no point digging into old wounds. He knew Charlie was still sensitive on the subject, and Audrey might well be too. It was obviously an affair that had meant a great deal to both of them. And the only thing he regretted on their behalf was that they hadn't worked it out. They were both so very much alike, and Charlotte was so very different.
Wanderlust (1986) Page 26