Please, please let us have good luck in here.
Jasper set me down and grabbed my hand right before we entered. That he wasn't arguing the decision told me that he was as worried as he'd appeared, that he really did fear for his life by Parker Brooks's hand.
“Where to?” Jasper asked as he led me toward the casino. In the near distance, slot machines ching-ching-chinged as guests took their chance with fate.
“Well. We need a high paying slot machine. Dollars, not quarters or nickels. Roulette and black jack are too risky and will take too much time. We need a jackpot.”
Jasper guided me in the direction of the slots. Row upon row sat adjacent to the card tables, many of the seats empty at this time of night.
“Here, this one,” Jasper said, pulling up in front of a Double Diamonds machine. He let go of my hand, straddled the stool, and held his palm out for money.
“Hey wait, are we sure? Maybe we should look for a Triple Jackpot--”
“It's all the same risk, Fins. We're either gonna hit or we're not. Most likely not. But if we spend the next hour agonizing over which machine to pick, we'll just get frustrated and it won't do us a bit of good. So let's go.” Jasper held my eyes, palm up.
I dug the money out of my pocket and put five twenties into his hand. “Let's start with that. If we don't get anything, not even one drop, then we move on.”
“Okay.” Jasper curled his long fingers around the money, then fed the bills in one at a time. Credits racked up with each insertion until he was done.
“Remember to place the highest--”
“I know, I know, Fin. I'm gonna bet the max.” Jasper exhaled and tapped the Bet Max button.
The wheels spun, numbers and cherries and diamonds flipping by. I held my breath, hoping against hope.
Nothing. Not even cherries.
“That's all right,” Jasper said, hitting the Bet Max button again. He rubbed his palms together, one knee beginning to bounce and jitter. “Here we go.”
Bracing my forearm on Jasper's shoulder, I watched the machine cycle through another four turns without so much as a dollar added to the dwindling credits. Anxiety and nerves made my stomach tight. I wanted to tell Jasper to go to another machine, to move on. Yet I knew that we might bounce through another five machines and not hit anything.
“It's just getting warmed up. Chances are we'll hit something in the next few spins,” Jasper said, tapping the bet button again.
Cherries popped up across the board and the red digital credit numbers jumped. Not much, but it was better than a loss.
“See, now it'll start paying off. C'mon, baby,” Jasper said.
We only had nine-thousand nine-hundred and ninety dollars to go. Minus the money from the spins already played. That was when it struck me how long we might be here, and how risky the venture really was. Still, I held out hope. Jasper and I might be The Ones to hit big. We could walk out of there with twenty-grand, enough to pay Brooks back and have an extra ten for our business.
At the end of the row, vacant of gamblers except us, I watched a little old man in glasses and a gray sweater perform a strange ritual before sliding one coin (always one, never two) into the coin slot. He tapped the coin on the edge of the machine, then dragged the coin across the screen showing the wheels. Finally, he ran the wrinkled pad of his finger along the curved mouth of the insertion slot before sliding the silver coin in, almost as if he was sneaking up on it. He touched the left hand corner of the Spin button—always the left corner, never the right—took two steps back, features illuminated by the glow from the machine, and watched with a breathless expression as the wheels spun.
Mesmerized, I couldn't look away. The You've Just Won A Giant Jackpot! lights and sounds weren't going off on our machine, so I wasn't compelled in that moment to pay attention to anything but the little old man.
Nothing. The machine down the way landed on random numbers and a stray double diamond.
The old man moved to the next slot, took one silver coin from his bright red tray. Tap-tap, sliiide, brushbrushbrush and insert.
No hit.
He moved to the next, repeating his ritual.
And the next.
Soon, he would reach our seat.
“Well, I'm out. Do we stay, Fins, and see if it pays off? Or do we move on?” Jasper asked, breaking my reverie.
“Huh? Oh.” The credits read zero. We were out our first hundred bucks. “I—don't know. I suggested we should move on at first, so let's stick to that.” I felt a strange pull to stay at the machine, however, and Jasper must have as well, since he didn't get up off the stool right away.
The little old man skipped our machine and went to the next. I could see him performing his ritual until he was out of sight.
“Just do another ten,” I said to Jasper after another few minutes of cautious hesitation. I handed over two fives and pushed the rest of the money back into my pocket.
Jasper hit three times in the next five spins, totaling forty-five bucks. Each time, I experienced a surge of excitement, only to deflate when the machine sucked back what we won.
At this rate, we might be there till Christmas.
Eight turns later, the machine had taken everything we won plus the extra ten. Jasper glanced at me, then swung off the stool. We rounded to the next bank and chose a different machine, one with double and triple jackpots.
“You do it this time, maybe you'll have better luck,” Jasper said, gesturing to the stool.
“No, you. You know how terrible my luck is.” I handed Jasper a twenty instead of a hundred to start, trying to make the money last.
Jasper didn't argue. And instead of sitting, he braced his feet apart a little and stood in front of the machine. He was about to feed the fives in when I suddenly snatched them from his hands.
“Gimme those,” I said, muttering. I rubbed the bills on the front of the machine, whisked the edges across the Max Bet button, and flattened each bill over the Triple Jackpot graphic on the front of the machine. If it was good enough for the little old man, it was good enough for me.
Then I handed the bills back to Jasper.
He was staring at me as if I'd lost my mind. “What?”
“Did you just—never mind.” Jasper plucked the bills out of my fingers and hastily inserted them. “You know, the security guys watching through the cameras are probably belly laughing right now.”
“As long as it works.” I hadn't thought about the security cameras. Fighting off a blush, I watched Jasper cycle through the money, winning a little but losing more.
In less than an hour, we were down to our last twenty dollars. Progressively, my mood had bottomed out, leaving me jaded and belligerent as Jasper Max Betted our way into the poor house.
On the final spin, the machine granted us a win of thirty dollars. Jasper jabbed the Cash Out button, gathered up the coins, and took my hand. He looked as solemn as I felt.
Exchanging the coins for dollars, we departed the casino without another word. The gambling money was gone, our rent money was gone, and Parker Brooks still wanted his ten thousand bucks.
At the passenger door of the Camaro, while I waited for Jasper to unlock the car, I caught a glimpse of my somber reflection in the window.
Suddenly I realized we had become what we said we never would: the Disillusioned.
Chapter Fifteen
The sky had just started to lighten from full dark to dull gray as we entered the apartment. I couldn't remember ever feeling so down, so forlorn—and also so determined. Marching through the living room, I went into the bedroom and grabbed the only suitcase we owned, which stood against the far wall because the closet was too small to contain it.
Dragging it to the bed, I plopped it down and tugged at the zipper, flipping the lid back to expose the empty interior.
“What are you doing, Fins?” Jasper said quietly from the doorway.
“Get your clothes. As much as will fit in here, no more. Get whatever else is impor
tant to you.” I snared three pair of jeans from the small dresser and stuffed them into the suitcase.
“Wait, Finley...what are you doing?” Jasper repeated. “We can't leave.”
“The hell we can't. We are. As soon as we're done with our shifts tonight, we're driving out of town. Gas up with the thirty bucks right before we head out.” Socks, tee shirts, a pair of sneakers. I packed light and smart.
“Finley--”
Patting the clothes down, I turned to face Jasper. “We're leaving, do you hear me? Because I can't handle the alternative. We're done, Jasper. We have nothing left. I've got an emergency twenty stashed that we can buy more bread with. We'll make peanut butter and jelly for the road and buy some bottles of water.”
“We can't leave our jobs, this apartment. How will we get everything out in time?” Frowning, Jasper tilted his shoulder against the door frame.
“We won't. The landlady will keep the deposit for the trouble and she'll have people come haul it away. Probably put an ad up somewhere for those who need cheap furniture, like us when we first got here. We're just passing it on, Jasper, that's all.” I met his eyes and said, “It's time to go home. I know it sucks, and I know neither of us want to move in with our parents--”
“No way, Fins. Nuh-uh. I'm not doing it. Not going back to that hellhole where we'll never go anywhere.”
“And the only place you're gonna go if you stay here is in the ground! We're leaving. Pack your things, or I will.” Squared off, I watched the disappointment fade from Jasper's eyes to be replaced by a stubborn will as strong as my own.
“Not doing it.” Jasper pushed off from his lean and left the apartment. Moments later, the Camaro roared to life and zoomed out of the alley.
“That's just fantastic,” I said to the empty room. Going to the closet, I yanked out the clothes I knew were Jasper's favorites. Jeans, tee shirts, boots. It would be a tight fit in the medium sized suitcase.
One way or another, Jasper and I were leaving Vegas tonight.
*
In the hallway outside Ramsey's office door, I paused to take a deep breath and organize my thoughts. Ramsey, kind enough to agree to see me after my shift, waited somewhere inside, clueless to the upcoming conversation. I suffered massive guilt for what I was about to do, yet I knew I also had no choice.
Quitting and leaving town was the only way to keep Jasper safe. We couldn't raise the money in time, and I wasn't willing to take chances on Jasper's life. Ramsey had been nothing but good to me and had gone out of his way to help after the fiasco with Adrian. Quitting felt a little like betrayal.
With my uniform folded into the crook of my arm, I knocked.
“Come in,” Ramsey said, voice muffled by the door.
“Thanks for seeing me,” I said as I stepped inside. Ramsey stood near his desk, one hip leaning against the edge. Dressed in dark slacks and a silk shirt of faded turquoise, he looked every inch a successful businessman. He'd styled his hair back away from his handsome face, his shoulders stretching the shirt taut across the breadth. Even though I'd called time on my desire for a one night stand, it didn't mean the tingle of attraction ceased to exist.
“It's no trouble, Finley. How is everything going?” He glanced at the uniform in my arms, then met my eyes.
I couldn't tell what he was thinking. Crossing the office, I came to a halt next to one of the chairs flanking his desk. “Not well, actually. I came here to tell you myself, because I didn't want you to find out by word of mouth.”
Ramsey studied me, chin cocking a fraction to the side. “You're quitting, then?”
“Yes, I have to. We're leaving town.” It was embarrassing to admit why, then I recalled that Ramsey already knew that Jasper owed Brooks money.
Ramsey said nothing for several minutes. Then, finally, he said, “I'm sorry to hear that, Finley. I was hopeful Jasper could work things out with Brooks.”
“I did too. And I wanted to thank you for stepping in with the job, with Adrian, and for going to the morgue with me that night. I won't forget all your kindnesses.”
Ramsey smiled a smile full of regret. Or that's how I perceived it. Maybe he was lamenting the date between us that never happened.
“Of course,” he said. “I wouldn't have it any other way. Do you think you'll be back?” Ramsey straightened from his lean and adjusted his tie.
“Probably not a wise idea. I doubt Brooks will be any more forgiving in six months or a year than he is right now.” I set the uniform down on the seat of a chair. Sliding my hands into the back pockets of my jeans, I hovered nearby, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. The guilt was back in spades. I couldn't say why I was attracted to Ramsey, yet unwilling to follow through.
“Probably not.” Ramsey glanced at the floor, then around the room before finding my eyes again. “Out of curiosity, how much does Jasper owe Brooks?”
“Ten thousand. He had to pay six in interest, so now he's got nothing left to pay on the original debt. It's nasty,” I said, and couldn't emphasize that enough.
“They charge steep interest for sure,” Ramsey said, looking unsurprised by the amount. He paused, then said, “What if I loaned you the money? Would you stay then?”
My mouth fell open in shock. “What? Ramsey, no. I didn't come here to ask you or hint--”
“I know you didn't. I'm offering. If I paid the loan, would you stay?”
The intensity of the question gave me pause. I felt like there was more that Ramsey was asking me than to just get Brooks off Jasper's back. “I don't want to go home. Neither does Jasper. In fact, he's resistant to the idea. But...I can't watch anything bad happen to him.”
“So the answer is yes,” Ramsey said.
“I don't know how long it would take us to pay you back—”
“Don't worry about paying me back. I happen to loathe these loan sharks and I don't mind helping you—and Jasper—out.”
“I see.” A question surfaced next, one I had to ask. “Listen, Ramsey. I know there's been this...thing...between us. And I know I might seem like I've changed my mind--”
“That's because you have, and it's all right.” Ramsey paced closer. Slowly, as if he had all the time in the world.
“I don't know why. I can't figure out what's wrong on my end, I mean—you're a great guy.” I spread my hands in a helpless gesture, tilting my chin up when Ramsey came to stand in front of me. Ramsey scanned my face with evident fondness and affection. Lifting a hand, he traced the contour of my cheek, causing a blush to creep over my skin.
“In another lifetime, Finley, I think you and I might have had a fighting chance. I think we would have overcome whatever differences exist between us and been happy for the rest of our lives. I won't lie and say I'm not disappointed at the way things turned out, but I'm also not blind. There's clearly only one man for you.”
Surprised at the serious turn of the conversation, I held my breath as his finger lightly traced my cheek. My brows shot up at his tone, at the sentiment he delivered in such a matter-of-fact way.
“I'm not involved with anyone else, Ramsey. I don't usually date--” My protests trailed. There could only be one person Ramsey referred to.
Jasper.
Like someone ripped a blindfold off, I was suddenly able to see so many things that I'd been overlooking the whole time. Caught up in my age-old friendship with Jasper, I hadn't noticed when my feelings shifted. Somewhere along the line, I'd started to fall for my best friend.
Me, the girl who didn't believe in that mushy love-love stuff. Yet all the signs were there: I thought about Jasper all the time lately, wanting to rush back and see his reactions to things, to be with him when he went out, to engage in our familiar banter and rough-housing. He was the one I wanted to give me piggyback rides, the one I wanted to go to sleep with and wake up with every morning.
“You two are like peas in a pod, Finley. You're so comfortable in your relationship with him that you don't even realize how you feel. I almost envy that level of sec
urity, to be so at home with someone that you don't have to worry about anything.” Ramsey's hand dropped away from my face. He pivoted away in the next breath and walked behind his desk.
Left standing in his wake, all I could do was stare. Stare and sort through the flood of emotions and questions brought on by the revelation. I didn't know if I was in love, with Jasper, but something had definitely changed. Even now I wanted to rush back to the apartment or call him on the phone and tell him there might be another alternative to leaving.
Was it budding love, though? Or was I just too used to leaning on him? Too accustomed to his presence in my life?
Ramsey, bent over the desk writing out a check, glanced my way. “If you're feeling guilty, don't. This happens sometimes. It took you nearly wanting to engage in something with me to realize how you felt for Jasper.”
“That's just it though—I'm not sure what this is. We've been best friends so long that I'm not sure I know how to be anything else.” What an odd thought that was. Another realization hit at the same time. “I don't think he feels the same about me. I mean—he's never indicated anything but friendship.”
“That's all you've ever shown him, too. Right? You never know until you ask.” Ramsey tore a check out of his checkbook and walked it over. “Here. I added a couple extra thousand on there, just in case.”
It was the answer to everything—and as awkward as discussing my feelings for Jasper to a man I'd wanted nothing more than a one night stand with. For a full sixty-seconds, I couldn't make myself take the check. Ramsey continued to hold it out, face impassive and unreadable.
“I can't take it, Ramsey. Not that I don't appreciate it, because I do. It's just—”
“Take it, Finley. It's not worth risking Jasper's life. I'm not entirely certain that Brooks won't send a few men to hound you both where ever you go anyway, so you'll always be looking over your shoulder.”
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