‘Well, quite honestly, anybody would save the day at the moment,’ said Gabriel before calling John over. ‘Hey, John, over here. Potential guest replacement. Izzie. Singer-songwriter.’
I gave Lucy a filthy look and she gave me one back and stuck her tongue out at me. She pulled me aside and whispered, ‘This is your chance. Show the world who you are, you idiot.’
John looked me up and down doubtfully. ‘Can you really sing?’
‘Yeah but . . . no, but . . . yeah, I can. I do.’
‘Have you ever sung in public?’
‘Loads of times,’ said Nesta. ‘She’s in a band called King Noz. She writes her own songs too.’
I gave Nesta a swift kick.
‘Ow,’ she said, then rubbed her shin.
‘What do you play?’ asked John. ‘Piano or guitar?’
‘Oh . . . guitar but . . .’
‘Come with me.’
I gave Nesta an ‘I’ll get you later’ look and followed him to the back of the studio, down a corridor and into a dressing room.
‘Give me five minutes,’ said John and disappeared.
I took a look around. This must be how it is when you really are a celebrity guest I thought as I took in the white washed room, enormous bunch of flowers, Evian water and bowl of fruit arranged on a low coffee table.
John was back before I knew it with a guitar in hand and Gabriel not far behind him.
‘OK, play,’ said John.
I took the guitar and plucked a few notes. ‘Give me a moment.’
‘Haven’t got a moment,’ he said, turning to Gabriel. ‘Right, we’re OK for the second spot, we’ll go out on the pre-recording of Alicia.’ Then he turned back to me. ‘Ready?’
I took a deep breath. Ready as I will ever be, I thought, and sang some of the song I’d written last night after talking to Mum about people starving in some parts of the world.
I didn’t look up at John or Gabriel as I sang. I just tried to focus on getting the words right. ‘. . . Tiny fingers, tiny hands, broken hearts in a stranger’s land . . .’
When I’d finished, I glanced up.
Gabriel gave me the thumbs-up and grinned. John’s expression still looked harassed. He looked at what I was wearing.
‘Hhm,’ he said as he looked at my top. ‘Nice outfit but those stripes won’t work. Get her into make-up, Gabriel, and see what there is in costumes.’
And with that, he ran out.
‘What did he mean?’ I asked.
Gabriel beamed at me. ‘You’re on.’
‘Oh. Wow. So why can’t I wear this top?’
‘Vertical lines distort like mad on camera,’ said Gabriel. ‘Come on. We’ll find you something else. Let’s get going.’
For the next half hour, I barely had time to think. Gabriel rushed me into make-up and stood and advised the make-up girl as she brushed various powders onto my face.
‘Not too heavy on the eyes, keep it light but maybe a little shadow round the corners. Excellent,’ said Gabriel. ‘Lots of lip-gloss.’
My hair was blown even straighter than it normally is; then it was out of there, down another corridor and into a costume department where Gabriel went into hyperdrive.
‘Right,’ he said as he flicked through rail after rail and scoured shelf after shelf. ‘I know exactly what I’m looking for. Shoe size?’
‘Thirty-eight,’ I said.
After a few moments, he chucked a pair of fab brown-leather cowboy boots at me. ‘Get these on,’ he said as he looked me up and down. ‘Size?’
‘Um . . . fourteen, maybe . . .’
‘Never. Twelve. We’ll keep the jeans you’re in but I want . . .’ He started flicking through the rails again. ‘Ah, how about this?’
He’d picked out the most exquisite camisole. It was vintage in style, lilac crêpe silk with a tiny bit of lace around the dipped neckline and a ribbon criss cross over the boobs. ‘Try it on.’
I wasn’t about to strip off in front of him, especially as I had one of my faded white bras on. ‘Turn round,’ I said.
‘Oh right, yes, course, sorry.’ Gabriel turned.
I quickly stripped my black top off and slipped into the camisole.
‘Done?’ asked Gabriel.
‘Yes but . . .’
Gabriel turned, gave me the once over then he let out a slow whistle. ‘Perfect,’ he said. ‘That’ll get them going. Perfect, perfect.’
‘Can I look?’
He took my hand and pulled me back down the corridors and back into the dressing room where he stopped in front of the mirror.
I took a look.
‘Ohmigod. It’s too tight. My boobs! I look . . .’
‘Izzie, you look great,’ said Gabriel. ‘Absolutely great. It’s not tight at all. It fits like a glove. You should wear more stuff like this.’
I didn’t have time to object any further as John stuck his head round the door. ‘Ready? Hey Izzie, you look lovely.’
Gabriel nodded. ‘Doesn’t she?’
‘We’ve just started on the first discussion then we’ll go to Izzie. Get her in place.’
I grabbed the guitar and we were out of the dressing room, along another maze of corridors and led to the side of the stage where the audience discussion was going great guns.
I could hardly breathe, it was all happening so fast.
‘Are you going to do the song you did in the dressing room?’
‘Er yes . . . sure. If that’s OK.’
‘Whatever you’re comfortable with,’ said Gabriel then his bleeper bleeped. He checked his message. ‘OK, wait for Geena to introduce you then off you go. And Izzie, remember to smile. And stand up straight. I know this may feel nervewracking but act confident. No one will ever know you’re shaking inside.’
‘Right. Smile, stand up straight,’ I replied. ‘Confident. Oh God.’ And breathe, I told myself.
I heard Geena rounding up the discussion and then go into my intro: ‘. . . and now, at great expense, all the way from North London, we have our very own . . . Izzie Foster.’
Gabriel pushed me forward and I walked on to the stage and into what seemed like blinding lights. It took me a moment to adjust my eyes and see the microphone. Oh God, my knees have turned to jelly, I thought as I walked forward. Oh please, don’t let me freeze. Let me get this next few minutes over with. Confident, confident. I took another deep breath, went up to the microphone and beamed a big smile.
‘Hello, Camden,’ I called out into the studio.
‘Hello, Izzie,’ the audience called back.
It was a dream come true. A moment I’d fantasised about so many times in front of the mirror at home. Just relax, I told myself. Imagine that you’re at one of the gigs with Ben and King Noz. It’s just another number.
‘I’m going to sing you a song I wrote only last night,’ I said, ‘and I hope that some of you might agree with the way I feel.’
Then I went into the song. As I was singing, I tried to really feel the words. And I did feel the words as time seemed to stand still.
‘. . . Tiny fingers, tiny hands, broken hearts in a stranger’s land . . .’
When I’d finished, the place erupted. I’d done it. It was OK. I’d remembered all the lines and people were clapping, some even stomping their feet. I caught sight of Lucy and Nesta in the audience. They were jumping up and down and going ballistic.
‘Cue to break,’ I heard John say somewhere in the studio. I felt stunned and next thing I knew, Gabriel and Nesta were hugging me.
‘Izzie, you were totally brilliant, just brilliant,’ Nesta gushed.
‘A star is born,’ said Gabriel with a big smile. ‘You saved the day.’
John came over and patted me on the back. ‘Nice one, Izzie. Well done.’
I scanned the audience for Lucy but couldn’t see her but a moment later, she was hugging me too.
‘God, Izzie, I felt so proud,’ she said and I swear she had tears in her eyes. ‘I couldn’t believe it was rea
lly you up there. You looked so confident. “Hello, Camden.” Like, wow . . . You sounded like such a pro.’
I laughed. I felt brilliant. Performing in front of a live audience is the best high in the world, I thought as we made our way off the stage and back into the audience for the second half.
‘And you look so good,’ said Lucy. ‘I couldn’t have picked a better outfit for you myself.’
I hugged her back. Life was good and with the way that Gabriel had been paying me so much attention, I had a feeling that it was about to get even better.
Chapter 15
Hot or Not?
The second half of the show got off to a great start and everyone seemed to have loads to say. Gabriel told me that the phone lines had been going bonkers after my song, and people had been ringing in from all over the country to say they wanted to hear more from me. I thought my five minutes of fame was over and I was going to be able to relax in the audience and enjoy the rest of the show while I caught my breath. But no, John told me to join the panel and that they were going to pick up on a new theme for the second discussion.
When I heard what the topic was going to be, I thought it couldn’t have been more relevant, as least to me anyway. The topic was: hot or not? And I soon found out that I wasn’t the only one who worried about whether I was or not. It was clearly a subject close to everyone’s heart – feeling inadequate or invisible to the opposite sex. Boys and girls both joined in with gusto and it was fascinating to hear the boys say, time and time again, that they didn’t want a picture perfect girlfriend. They didn’t want the teen queen from the magazine, they wanted normal. Fun. Confident. And curvy.
After the show, Gabriel was kept busy, clearing the stage and helping the camera crew. Lucy, Nesta and I sat at the back for a while, reliving it all; everyone seemed to be hanging about, reluctant to leave. Finally, the studio started emptying and we got up to go. I looked for Gabriel, but couldn’t see him.
‘Just a moment,’ I said to Lucy and Nesta. ‘I want to find Gabriel and say thanks.’ And give him a chance to ask me out, I thought as I made my way down to the stage area to find him. I was feeling on top of the world and more confident that I had in ages. I was on a roll. How could he resist?
He didn’t appear to be anywhere.
‘Seen Gabriel?’ I asked a cameraman.
He jerked his thumb to the door on the left that led backstage.
I followed his directions and found myself in the maze of corridors that I’d been in only half an hour earlier. I set off in the direction of the dressing room thinking that he might be in there tidying up. As I got closer, I heard his voice inside. It sounded as if he was talking on the phone so, not wanting to interrupt his call, I waited in the corridor.
‘You’re outside?’ he said. ‘You dozo, you should have bleeped me, I’d have let you in. I’ll come out and get you . . . Yeah, me too, been looking forward to seeing you all day. Can’t wait . . . No, it’s been great. Really great, I wish you could have been here. But I’m ready for some time off. All I want to do now is spend the rest of the day with you. Maybe we could get a bite then go back to my place for a movie and chill out . . .’ His voice got softer and deeper as the last sentence went on. There was no way he was talking to just a mate.
I felt a sinking feeling in the bottom of my stomach and ran back down through the corridors, out into the studio and outside to find Lucy and Nesta.
‘What’s the matter?’ asked Lucy when she saw my face.
I scanned the crowd that was still hanging about outside. I wondered which one she was. Gabriel’s girlfriend.
‘Gabriel. I just heard him arranging to meet his girlfriend,’ I groaned.
‘How? When?’ asked Nesta. ‘Are you sure?’
I nodded. ‘I heard him talking on the phone. And I could tell, not only by what he was saying but you know, by his tone of voice, it was all deep and smoochy . . .’
Lucy put her arm around me. ‘Oh, Izzie. I’m so sorry.’
I bit my lip. I didn’t want to blub in front of them. It had been such a brilliant day, the best ever and I’d really hoped that it was going to end with a date with Gabriel. Stupid, stupid, I told myself. Why do I have to go and fall for another boy who is already attached? And who had I been fooling thinking he’d feel the same way about me as I felt about him just because I’d sung a stupid song. How could he resist me? Easily.
‘She’s out here somewhere,’ I said, as I continued looking around. There were so many girls hanging about and then I spotted one apart from the crowd sitting on a wall. She looked as though she was waiting for someone as she didn’t appear to be with anyone from the show. She was tall, blonde and had cut-glass cheekbones. ‘I bet it’s her. No. Don’t look. Behind you, Nesta. But don’t stare.’
Nesta did a casual look around, scanning the area. ‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘Could be her. She’s classy-looking and we all know that Gabriel has taste.’
Yeah, I thought. Whatever made me think that he’d pick a dud like me? So I can sing. So what?
A moment later, the stage door opened and Gabriel came out. He too scanned the crowd, then saw me and came straight over.
‘Izzie,’ he said. ‘What a day, huh? You were so good. You must feel brilliant after that.’
Lucy and Nesta were scowling at him and I hoped Nesta didn’t butt in and say something awful. No one was to know that he was already attached and it wasn’t as though we’d snogged or anything. It wasn’t like it had been with Jay. Gabriel hadn’t lied to me.
Gabriel put his arm round me and gave me a squeeze. ‘But listen, Izzie. Stay in touch, hey? I’d like to hear more of your songs. And you know where I live now so come over whenever you feel like it. I meant it about wanting my place to be an open house.’
I thought I heard Nesta growl as I felt my heart sink even further. Maybe he was like Jay. Another cheater.
‘But what about your girlfriend?’
‘Girlfriend! What girlfriend?’ he asked.
‘I heard you. I . . . I wasn’t eavesdropping or anything, I . . . er, came looking for you to say goodbye and you were on the phone talking to your girlfriend.’
Gabriel looked taken aback. ‘When?’
‘Back in the dressing room. Just now.’
Gabriel looked really puzzled then he laughed. ‘Oh, God. I’m so sorry . . . I assumed that you knew . . .’
‘Knew what?’
‘Boyfriend,’ he said. ‘I’m gay. I was talking to my boyfriend.’ Just at that moment, a stunning looking boy with short dark hair and chiselled features came over.
‘Hey, Andy,’ said Gabriel. ‘Come and meet Iz and her mates.’
I wanted to die.
Chapter 16
Dear Izzie . . .
‘So the singles’ club meets once again,’ I said. ‘Will I never learn?’
‘You weren’t to know,’ said TJ.
‘I should have known,’ said Nesta. ‘The signs were all there. He was too good to be true.’
It was the following Friday and we were hanging out at TJ’s, helping her with the last minute changes to the magazine. She’d been working on an article called ‘Dieting Makes you Fat,’ and she wanted comments from me seeing as I’m now our resident diet expert.
‘I think diets make you fat because the night before you go on one, you binge as you think you can never eat anything naughty-but-nice ever again. And then after a few days or a week of denial, you get bored or hungry so you break the diet. Then you feel bad, think oh I must get back on my diet, I’ll start on Monday and this time be really, really strict . . . but on Sunday, I’ll have my last treat ever and the cycle starts again. If people just ate normally but less, it would work much better than all that yo-yo-ing.’
Nesta gave me the thumbs-up. ‘Sounds like you’ve seen sense my leettle curvy chum,’ she said.
I gave her the thumbs-up back. I felt that I’d found some balance in my life again and I didn’t feel so bad about Gabriel any more. I’d already
been over to his place in the week and we’d had a good laugh about it all and what’s more, I feel like I’ve found a new mate. And what more could you ask for, a friend who’s a boy but who has immaculate taste in everything from make-up and dress sense to decor. As Nesta had said, the perfect boy.
‘Anyway, we can’t be the singles’ club,’ said TJ, ‘because Lucy’s not really single are you Luce?’
Lucy blushed. ‘Yes, I am.’
‘So why were you snogging Tony last time you were at our flat? I saw you,’ said Nesta.
Lucy squirmed in her seat. ‘Oh then? Um . . . er . . .’
‘So are you getting back with him or not?’ I asked.
‘I’ve told you,’ she said. ‘No. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have the occasional snog or see a movie. He agrees. Just friends. He’s got his A-levels corning up so he’s going to have to work really hard. He said no way is he getting involved with anyone new as the last thing he needs are distractions or complications or new girlfriends going all emotional on him. With us, it’s comfortable. We can hang out. We know what to expect from each other. We give each other space. I understand he has to study. He understands that I don’t want to get into a heavy involvement so there it is. Sorted. We can enjoy the last few months before he goes off to whichever university in September.’
I laughed. Some things never change. Lucy and Tony will probably be meeting up for the occasional snog or movie when they’re old age pensioners.
‘And hey, Iz, you needn’t be single if you don’t want,’ said Nesta. ‘I saw Chris last night and apparently Tawny dumped Jay last weekend. She saw Liam’s photos of Italy and there were some of you in there so she put two and two together. Chris said that he was asking after you.’
‘No thanks,’ I said. ‘Been there, done that. If he cheated on Tawny, how would I know he wasn’t going to cheat on me? Some boys you just can’t trust and I’m not going through that again.’
‘Good for you, Iz,’ said Lucy.
‘What about you, Nesta?’ I asked. ‘There were so many boys on the show ogling you. Anyone you want to ogle back?’
Mates, Dates and Chocolate Cheats Page 11