by Oliver EADE
He drew the back of his hand across his moistening eyes, perhaps in an attempt to wipe from his mind the characters for ‘her death’. Feng gripped his tunic tightly with both hands.
“I brought that sharpened bamboo pole along in case Chang was followed. Those were terrible times, as you’ll well remember. I heard screams as I came over the hill. It was her. Xiaopeng had told all the village children how your daughter had talked about those beautiful lotus flowers. for the seventh day of the seventh month. It meant nothing to our children, of course, but I knew Feier would be there. Meeting up with the merchant was just an excuse to see Feier on her own. I thought perhaps after Chang had gone I’d get a chance to speak with her alone. Ever since, I’ve blamed myself. But...” Sun wu kong Niao hesitated. Tears streamed his cheeks. “He was on top of her. Beside the lake. He was pulling at her skirt. He was about to... “
“Did he?” interrupted Feng. “Did Chang rape my daughter?”
The sun wu kong shook his head.
“I arrived in time. I’m sure of it. She was pure that night we were together. But he was going to. I ran down the hill waving my pole at him. He took no notice. The awful animal breathing... that twisted face... it was the face of a tiger at the kill. Mocking. invincible! I struck him but not hard enough. I should have killed him with one blow, but the fiend had a skull like a rock and the strength of a bull. Only dazed, he swung round, still astride your daughter. He hit me in the stomach and I dropped the pole. Then another blow to the jaw and that was it. I was out, on my back. Knew nothing till I came to. First thing I heard was Feier crying. I feared the worst, but when I saw the girl crouched by the water frantically washing her hands over and over, and a great brown mound of flesh that had been the merchant with my pole protruding from his belly, I realised the spirit of the water had entered the child and given her the strength to save herself... and me. He must have wanted to check I’d not disturb him before trying to rape her, and she saw her chance. She did no wrong - nothing that might have blocked her path to Nirvana. Caught him by surprise as he sat gloating over his double triumph. She told me he’d been taunting her when I lay unconscious. Telling her she was a fool, just like her father, only a beautiful fool.”
“The blame has always been mine, Angwan. For trusting him. How many times had she tried to warn me? Naivity is a greater crime even than conceit.”
“She got her courage from you, Feng. And you’ll never know how much she loved you. You were more than just her baba. You were the window to her world... and mirror to her soul.”
“No. It was the other way around. If I’d been that, why didn’t I realise her affection for you sooner? Why didn’t I think about talking to your mother after your father died rather than fretting about our marriage maker?”
“We were different. Remember? Different peoples, different clothes, customs and gods. Why should you have?”
“Those things meant nothing to little Feier. She saw beyond them.”
“I tried to comfort her after it happened. All she could think about was her punishment, her death. Rather than bringing her closer to her beloved mother, she saw death as something that would keep them apart for ever. Because, in her eyes, your wife had been good and she was bad.”
“Never!” cried Feng. “Never bad! She was the sweetest child you can imagine. She was only... only defending what was hers!”
“I know, I know, but not all would see it that way. I had to protect her. I took away part of the man’s ugly face to make it appear he’d been savaged by a wild animal. I smeared his donkey’s shit over him to attract the flies and give the body a long-dead smell.” The monk chuckled. “That bit I did enjoy! Then the worst thing possible! Standing at the far end of the lake was a monk the merchant was supposed to introduce to me. The one who knew what the corrupt sun wu kong was doing. He must have seen everything. He turned and ran when he spotted me. I told the girl to hurry home and get you. She was to say she’d just come across a body and that was all. The whole business about our disappearing girls and the merchant’s connection with the White Tiger League, it all seemed too good to be true. There was no need for the truth to come out, but I prayed the young monk would remain silent.”
“Yes, I think I knew deep down. And I played along with it. Feier too. Maybe it was the real reason I set off for Chang’an, to draw peoples’ attention away from the awful truth. Ay, this thing has haunted me all these years.”
“Not only you, Teacher Feng. Why do you think I’ve adopted a life of retreat? As for Jinjin, he too changed. Because of Feier. Never did become an idle wealthy mandarin, as you know, but a good hardworking provincial governor. And he learned to overcome a young man’s impetuosity. As for the death of Chen Jiabiao, let’s just say it saved your life. I discovered one more thing, going back to the monastery before Feier got killed. The monk had only told Chen Jiabiao... how Feier had been protecting herself and was therefore blameless. But he’d not have known who the nobleman really was, and would never have trusted the sun wu kong with the information. It would have been Chen who’d arranged for that attempt on your life.”
“And that night. when Yueloong found you together.” began the teacher. He kicked at a stone and watched it streak a line in the dust. “Was Feier happy?” The sun wu kong remained silent. “Did she... I mean... oh, I don’t know what I’m asking. I only ever thought of her as a child, but she was about the same age as Meili when we married. I want to know she was a woman just that once. Not a child being pleasured by a man.”
“We knew Heaven together, that once,” affirmed sun wu kong Niao.
“I think... “ Feng stood up. He kicked the stone off the path into a shrub in the temple garden. “I think her ancestors will be proud of her, Angwan. The Buddha too. Most definitely. And no monk could dissuade me from that belief.”
“No true monk would, Teacher Feng. Your daughter came closer to Nirvana in her short life than most of us could ever dream of. You may die with peace of mind.”
“Peace of mind, ay? You monks are a strange lot. But please continue to turn the prayer wheel for Feier’s spirit when I’m gone.”
“For her benefit, teacher, or for yours?”
“Mine, Angwan. Mine. The blame was always mine.”
As Feng walked slowly towards the temple gate, the sun wu kong called
out:
“There’s another path, teacher.”
“And what’s that?” enquired Feng halting.
“The one Feier took.”
Feng threw both hands up in mock exasperation.
“Which is what? Like I said, you’re a strange lot, Angwan!”
“The Path of Light, my friend. Light beyond pain and death. She always knew. It’s why she feared death so much. But it was her karma and at the end I believe she accepted this.”
Feng stopped at the lotus lake on the way back. He’d imagined the path from the temple to be that Path of Light, and the lake to be where his life would now end, as Meili’s should have ended as a child in the great flood all those years ago. But within reach of the bank was a lotus flower, the most perfect he’d ever seen, and it had probably just opened as he’d not noticed it earlier when going up the hill to the temple.
He was about to reach out and pluck it in memory of Feier before leaving this world. Yet something prevented him. At first he couldn’t work out what this might be as he sat awkwardly on his haunches, his hand held halfway towards the flower. Then he realised: it was the flower’s absolute perfection, a perfection that showed the way not only to death and rebirth but to ultimate freedom from suffering, to Nirvana. The flower seemed to tell him that to end his life now in that lake would lead nowhere; the flower was the Path of Light, the path that would lead him. And within it was Feier’s petal, a single petal in a flower of perfection.
A List of Characters
Feng
&nbs
p; a village schoolteacher in central China, living ten days journey from the ancient capital Chang’an, the eastern end of the Silk Road.
Feier
Feng’s 14 year old daughter.
Meili
Feng’s deceased wife.
Li Yueloong
the good friend of Feng and a farmer in the nearby Miao village.
Li Xiaopeng
Yueloong’s 13-year old daughter and a friend of Feier.
Chen Jiabiao
a wealthy local landowner.
Merchant Chang
an itinerant merchant and a friend of Feng.
Mimi
Chang’s faithful donkey.
Rou
Feng’s horse.
Wong Yungchin
an inn-keeper in Houzicheng.
Wong Wenling
Yungchin’s wife, famed for her noodles.
Jinjin
an urchin youth, 18 years old, who ran away from home to escape his abusive father; he works, unpaid and intermittently, for Wong and his wife.
Angwan
a young Miao animist priest who spent time with Han Buddhist monks, then returned to the Miao vil-lage to help his mother with their farm after his fa-ther died.
Minsheng
an ex-monk, now the provincial magistrate for Houzicheng.
Old Xiang
Li Yueloong’s miserable, elderly brother.
Zhang Tsientse
a widowed cripple in the Han village.
Master Tsu
a teacher of Chinese brush painting in the imperial
city of Chang’an.
Kong
an urchin boy with large hands, befriended by Jinjin.
Xiuxia
a buxom restaurant proprietress in Chang’an; also an imperial agent.
Jianjuan
a martial arts instructor for the crack force of impe-
rial guards.
General Ma
the commander of rebel forces.
General Gao
an imperial commander.
Bibliography
Daily Life in Traditional China, The Tang Dynasty: Charles Benn
(Greenwood Press, 2002)
China, The Cambridge Illustrated History of: Patricia Buckley Ebrey
(Cambridge University Press, 1996)
The Heart of the Dragon: Alasdair Clayre
(William Collins Sons & Co, 1984)
China: Si Renzuo and Peng Wenlan (Flint River Press, 1994)
The First Emperor of China: R.W.L. Guisso, Catherine Pagani and David Miller
(Sidgewick & Jackson, 1989)
China, Pocket Timeline of: Jessica Harrison-Hall
(The British Museum Press, 2007)
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