The awkward silence was building until Cassie couldn't stand it any longer. “So, I have been trying to find the right time to tell you this...” she began quietly.
“Actually, let me go first...” he interrupted and Cassie was a bit relieved that she could wait a little longer to talk about Chad and her feelings. “Cassie, the past 10 years have been of mixed emotions. I was hurt, sad, angry, and lonely...wanting to know what went wrong between us and needing to know why it could not be fixed. I honestly thought my life was over and when I met Rebecca...”
“You realized it was just beginning. Seth, we don't have to go over this again. We both agreed that it was a blessing I left, end of story.”
“Cassie,” he reached out and grabbed her hand, forcing her to stop and turn to him. “I suppose I said that because I figured that's what you wanted. I don't buy it.”
“I'm not following.”
“I don't think it was a blessing that you left. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and wonder what could have been between us. I have never stopped loving you Cassie and I think you feel the same way.” Cassie's heart beat picked up speed as he moved closer to her, without thinking she allowed his lips to touch hers. Her hand rested on his chest as they slowly kissed.
“Wait a minute,” Cassie whispered, her breathing was breathless and her eyes never left his lips. “We can't do this.” She pulled away, quickly moving further from him. Thinking about the kiss and all of the memories rushing back to her, she made sure to keep her eyes off of his. “Seth, this can't be happening.” She turned back to him, she was sure that her eyes were shooting daggers in his direction. “What are we doing here?”
“I thought that was obvious,” he replied with a smirk as he approached her.
“Stay back, Seth this is dangerous territory and we can't go back there.”
“Why not?” He asked emphatically. “Why can't we go back? I know it's been 10 years but when we kissed it didn't feel like one day had gone by. You still love me, why are you running from that?”
“Seth, someone is bound to get hurt. There are other people's lives involved, not just ours.”
“There doesn't have to be.” Cassie stared at him; sure that he had lost his mind.
“You're willing to give up on your relationship with Rebecca, when you are about to marry her?” Cassie turned away, it was painful to think of him getting married to another woman but she did not have any room to stand in his way.
“Cassie,” she felt his hand on her shoulder. “Please look at me.”
“I can't,” Cassie replied quietly, closing her eyes and trying to move past the way it felt to have his hand on her.
“Rebecca and I broke up.” Cassie almost figured she heard the words wrong, until he spoke them again. “Did you hear me? Rebecca and I broke up.”
“What?” Cassie asked as she slowly turned around to face him. “When...how?”
“Last Saturday night, before I came back to Avery.”
“Why didn't you tell me?”
“I tried, on many occasions. However, every time I mentioned Rebecca's name...someone interrupted me.” Cassie knew that it was true; he told her that he had something to say, but somehow it never got said. Cassie thought of what she wanted to say, but the words weren't clear to her. “Cassie, say something...please.”
“I don't know what to say. So, what do you expect me to do? Are you just looking to hook up because you recently broke up with your fiancée? Maybe you figured that you can be with someone with no strings attached, because after all...I will be leaving soon. Is that what we're doing here? You're planning on hooking up with someone that doesn't expect anything in return?”
“What? Cassie, that is not it at all. How little can you possibly think of me? This isn't about my relationship not lasting, this is about us. Rebecca broke up with me.”
Cassie shook her head, “Perfect, so this is that you're out trying to heal your wounds that you were dumped. Great, I hate to disappoint...I'm not going to be the fallback girl. Sorry, I just can't do it.” With that Cassie turned away from him and headed in the direction of the house. She wasn't going to allow him to see the tears fall. She ran as fast as she could. The rain slowly began to fall. The drops quickly drowning out his voice as he called for her to stop. She was not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how deep her pain was.
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“Cassie wait.” Seth called, begging her to stop running. He grabbed his key and ran to his car, the storm was beginning to pick up and he was worried she would get sick, if she did not let him take her home. He put the windshield wipers on full blast and made his way down the road Cassie was headed to. As he approached her, he was glad to see she at least slowed down. He rolled down his window and moved at a snail’s pace. “Cassie, please just get in the car.” She didn't look at him as he continued to drive. “I am begging you, let me take you home. This is obviously a misunderstanding and we can clear it up. Just get in the car, before you get sick.” When Cassie stopped and opened the door, he breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Cassie, I am sorry I didn't tell you about Rebecca. It's not as if I didn't try. If I could take it all back I would, I swear I would have found some way to tell you sooner. I...”
“Seth, stop talking. This isn't about you not telling me that Rebecca and you are no longer engaged...it goes way beyond that. In fact, it might even go back the past 10 years.”
“What do you mean?”
When she turned to face him, he saw the trickle of tears flowing down her cheeks. “Recently Courtney told me something. I suppose I haven't been able to get it off my mind.”
“I'm listening.”
“She told me that you were right, that the only person I care about is me. I went to New York to satisfy my needs and I didn't care about whoever I hurt in the process.” Seth opened his mouth to say something, but she quickly stopped him. “I guess I never figured you would be the kind of person to judge someone. You were right before, maybe we wouldn't have worked out. The past couple of times we spent together, they were nice. I won't discount that, but it obviously didn't mean anything. I am sorry that Rebecca and you called off your wedding, I’m not going to be the girl that you use to get back at her."
Seth moaned as he put the car into park. “Cassie, I said that out of pain. I don't mean that. I know that you are caring, loving, and a wonderful person. As for Rebecca and me, it isn't like that. It just didn't work out. Rebecca had valid reasons for ending the engagement, but that doesn't change how I feel about you. How I have always felt about you. I sense you feel it too. Why isn't that enough?”
When Cassie turned back to him he noticed the tear on her cheek and he fought the urge to brush it away. “I'm leaving at the end of the week Seth, so any stupid ideas I had about what could happen...it doesn't matter. I think that it's best to say our goodbyes now.”
“What? We'll still see each other Wednesday when everyone comes to the Bed and Breakfast.”
Cassie shook her head, “I'm not going to come. It isn't my wedding and any final details that I can help with, they can be done here. So, bye Seth.” Seth reached for the handle to the door as she jumped out, but the look she gave him caused him to stop. “It's best you just go.” With that she ran away from him and was inside the house before he could let out a breath. He didn't understand what had instantly changed between them. He thought the day was going to go so smoothly. His heart broke that he was once again out of Cassie's life.
Chapter 13
Over the next few days Cassie attempted to put thoughts of Seth out of her head. Courtney and Bradley made up and Cassie felt their love was even stronger. When Cassie told Courtney about her fight with Seth, she could feel Courtney's disappointment. Courtney tried to tell Cassie she was crazy, but Cassie didn't need to be told that because she was well aware. She could not explain why she pushed Seth away, everything was going as she had planned...only better. When she learned he was no longer going to ma
rry Rebecca she should have been the happiest person in the world, yet something was wrong. She figured it was her anxiety that he was only attempting to reconnect with her because he was feeling sorry for himself. Yet, she couldn't get past how she felt when he was near and how she was certain, at times, that he was feeling it too.
Also, she could not get involved with Seth when her feelings were unresolved for Chad. It was a mixture of happiness, pain, sorrow, and disbelief. So staying away from Seth was the only chance she had to get her thoughts in order. Seth repeatedly tried calling her, but it was just like Chad...she didn't want to talk to him. Courtney had one more line of business she was going to take care of that week and Cassie was going to stay away from that part of her wedding planning.
Cassie knew after Courtney got back from Dallas, it was time to head back to New York. It was a few days earlier than she planned, but it would be for the best. It was going to be hard enough to face Seth at Courtney's wedding, let alone before then. She pulled her clothes out of her dresser and began to pack, by that time the next day she would be heading home. It was bittersweet; she enjoyed her time with her family. At times she found herself forgetting it was only temporary. When she emptied the closet of her clothes, her gaze landed on a box that was stuffed on the top shelf. She closed up her suitcase and went back to the closet. She did not remember leaving anything behind when she moved. When she pulled down the wooden box, she couldn't help but smile. She traced the heart that was engraved on the top, inside the heart was the words Seth & Cassie. With hesitation, she slowly opened the box. Inside she found everything that Seth had given her. She removed the ticket stub from their first movie as a couple. She saw their smiling faces in the pictures they had taken at the mall in Dallas. Then her focus was brought to an envelope with her name on it. She recognized the writing as being Seth's, but she didn't recall a letter. “It's not open,” she whispered to herself as she slid her finger under the flap and opened the envelope. The envelope fell to the ground as she read the letter.
My Dearest Cassie
I have given thought to what has transpired and I have come to the conclusion that I am a stubborn man. I want you to be happy and I know that if you follow your dream you will go to bigger and better things. I should have told you how proud I am of what you are about to do, not let you walk out of my life. I want us to work out and if that means going with you, then I would be honored to move to New York with you. I need to know what you want, because as I am writing this I know that the only thing I want and need is for you to be by my side. Say the word and I will be there for you, it's up to you. Do you want to be with me?
Love always,
Seth
As the letter fell to the ground, she thought back to the days following her trip to Dallas. When the truth dawned on her, she closed her eyes. She remembered being in her room and seeing the letter fly under her door. When she noticed it was from Seth, she chose not to open it. She was afraid of its contents. She put it in the box and pushed it out of her mind. She didn't even know who had put it under the door, but she always suspected Courtney had something to do with it. “Cassie, can I come in?” She heard Courtney at her door and she quickly picked up the letter.
“Sure, come in.”
As the door opened she brushed a tear off of her cheek. “Cassie, I'm going to...” she looked at Cassie's hands and then back at Cassie. “What's that?”
Cassie looked down at the letter and then put it back in the box. “A letter...from Seth.”
“Oh, did you get it in the mail?”
“Not from Seth, just recently. He wrote it 10 years ago.” Courtney's face turned a shade of red and Cassie knew that her instinct was correct. “I'm right, aren't I?”
“What do you mean?”
“Court...the letter, you were the culprit that put it under my door.”
“Cassie, he wanted you to know what you meant to him. I felt sorry for him and yes when he came to me and asked me to give you a letter, I jumped at the chance. I thought maybe it would change your mind and that you would choose to stay here and marry him. I didn't want you to leave. When you didn't even mention the letter, I figured it didn't do the trick. So, I came to the realization that you were leaving and that nothing was going to be the same. Why didn't you even acknowledge that he was trying?”
“I never read the note.”
“Really?” The surprised look on Courtney's face would have been laughable, except Cassie was dying inside. She could not believe that she did not realize how much Seth's love for her really was.
Cassie shook her head, “I didn't want him to change my mind, so I put it in the box and put the box back up in my closet. That way I could leave without knowing what he wanted to say.”
“I had no idea. If you didn't want to read it...why did you keep it?”
Cassie laughed, “Good question. Maybe a part of me knew that one day I would come back here and want to know what he had to say. Now that I read it, I'm not so sure that I did. The truth is it was a game changer.”
“Really? So...if you would have read it, then we might not be at this point?”
Cassie stuffed the note back in the box. “Well if we weren't at this point, you might never have met Bradley.” Courtney was quiet for a moment and then she leaned over and surprised Cassie by hugging her. “What was that for?”
“I think you needed it.”
Cassie smiled, Courtney was right about that. “Well, it's too late to go back. So, it is what it is.”
“I suppose so.” Courtney tried to smile, but Cassie could see she was unsure about it. “I'm getting ready to leave for Dallas. Bradley will be picking me up soon. Won't you change your mind and come with us?”
“I don't know that I can see him. I'm sorry Courtney; it just isn't the best idea.”
“Cassie, you're leaving tomorrow. This is the last time we can do something with each other before I get married. It shouldn't be about you and Seth, I don't want to be selfish but...it's my wedding and I want you to come with us.”
Cassie knew she was right, this wasn't about Seth...it was about Courtney. “I might not be the best company.”
“I don't care. At least you'll be there.”
Cassie reluctantly nodded, “Fine! I'll go.”
Courtney smiled, “Thank you Cassie. Bradley should be here in a few minutes.”
Cassie put the wooden box back in the closet and took a deep breath before closing it up. “Then, let's go and wait for him.” It was going to be an awkward evening, but Cassie had to put her feelings aside and look past Seth. It was Courtney's big day they were planning and everything needed to be perfect.
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“Will you stop moping little brother?” Seth looked up as his sister joined him on the couch in the dining room.
“I'm not moping.” Seth argued, even though he obviously was.
“Whatever,” Megan replied quietly. “They'll be here soon.”
“So.”
“So...don't you think you should change?”
Seth looked down at his jeans and t-shirt. “I look presentable, why bother?”
“Seth Callahan, you look like a bum. You don't have to put on a tie, but ever since coming back to Dallas you are letting your looks go. You haven't shaved in 3 days.”
Seth reached up and felt the slight stubble beginning to form and shrugged. “I have no one to impress.”
“We still have guests and they're beginning to complain about the smell.” Seth looked at his sister and could tell she was teasing, but she was getting her point across.
“I was thinking that maybe you could handle meeting with the Jamison's? I'm really not feeling up to it.”
Megan gave him a curious look and then shook her head. “Nice try, but you're the one they have made the arrangements with. So, you should be the one to deal with.”
Seth was discouraged, after talking to Megan she was caught up with everything that happened between Cassie and him and he would ha
ve expected a little compassion. “I don't know that I can.”
“Seth, you have never been afraid of anything. Why start now?”
“I'm not afraid, I just have had enough arguments and I really don't want to argue with Cassie anymore.”
“I don't think she's coming, so you haven't anything to worry about.”
Seth frowned; he knew she had said that she wouldn't come. He just hoped she had changed her mind. “You really don't think she'll be here?”
“I don't know. The last time I talked to Courtney, she said that it wasn't looking good.” Megan smiled, “If she was here, you should really make her aware of the whole truth. Not just what you want to tell her. She deserves to know exactly why your relationship broke up.”
Seth knew that Megan was right. He looked at his watch, “Well, if I have to get changed. I better get going.”
Before he got out of the room, she stopped him. “You should wear that blue jacket with the pinstripes.”
“Why?'
“I don't know; it brings out your eyes.”
He rolled his eyes; “You're crazy. You know that right?”
She laughed, “Just do it.”
He didn't know what she was trying to prove, but in less than a half an hour the Courtney and Brad would be there. He had to at least put on a good front with them. Even if it was Cassie he wished he could see.
____________________
As Bradley's car pulled down the road of the Bed and Breakfast, Cassie could feel her stomach turning in knots. “Cassie, you act like you're going to the electric chair.” Courtney startled her by speaking. Cassie looked at Courtney who was staring at her form the front seat. “It's just Seth.”
“Sure,” Cassie mumbled under her breath. When they pulled along the side of the road, she looked up at the building. It hadn't changed any on the outside, but it looked bigger than she had recalled. She got out of the car and walked up front steps. She smiled when she saw the old familiar sign and her heart tugged at the fact that so much time was gone.
“They bought the restaurant next door a few years ago.” Courtney pointed to the small cafe that used to be next door.
Following Your Heart (Love Conquers All) Page 13