by Diane Burke
No more listening to that nagging voice of conscience in his head.
He was out of patience…and time. Not knowing if this kid could identify him was eating him up inside. Making him make bad choices. Do stupid things. There was no question anymore. He knew what he had to do. He had to find the kid…and this time he’d kill him.
ELEVEN
Liz checked her rearview mirror for the tenth time in the past five minutes. No one was following her. She’d been super careful. She wasn’t even driving her own car. She’d borrowed Gus Crater’s pickup truck. She told him she got the deal of a lifetime on a china cabinet at a garage sale near Poplar Bluff and she needed something bigger than her car or cruiser to haul it home.
The pea-green, rusted-out relic didn’t have a shock absorber left in its body and Liz considered it almost a miracle that it still ran. But Gus loved his truck and he hadn’t parted with it lightly. She’d not only had to promise to return it in the morning with a full tank of gas but she’d had to throw in prime seats to this weekend’s basketball game. Gus drove a hard bargain.
Taking one more look behind her, she felt safe enough to head for the old Granger estate and turned the truck in that direction.
It took at least ten minutes for the piece of junk she was driving to make it across the ten acres of property. Liz was becoming a pro at driving down old unlit dirt roads with nothing more than moonlight and car headlights to guide her. But this time when the truck lights hit the house, it stole Liz’s breath away.
The Victorian-style home had been deserted for years. There hadn’t been any heirs to the estate and in this economy there weren’t many millionaires buying homes in Country Corners. The years had taken a toll. The outside was weathered and forlorn looking. But it screamed with potential.
She could picture white wicker rocking chairs and fern baskets all along the wraparound porch. Potted geraniums hanging from the portico. Fresh paint and some minor repairs and this home could easily be restored to its original grandeur in no time.
Liz couldn’t believe that Adam had purchased this property. What would a single man want with a house so large? Unless he wasn’t intending to stay single for long. The thought brought a rush of heat to her face.
She turned off the ignition and stepped from the cab.
“Stop right there.” Liz heard the distinctive sound of a shotgun being cocked behind her.
“I’d listen to him if I were you.” The female voice had circled around and was coming at her from the front. “Put your hands above your head and do it now.”
Liz immediately did as she was told.
“Adam? Charlie?”
“Liz?”
They were by her side in seconds. Adam shone a flashlight over her and then over the truck. “What the…? Where’d you get this piece of junk?”
“It runs and no one would be expecting me to be behind the wheel so I felt safer driving it out here than my patrol car or personal vehicle.”
“Good idea.” Charlie shone a flashlight on the ground by their feet. “Let’s get in the house. It’s spooky out here in the dark.”
Once inside, Charlie excused herself and went upstairs to check on Jeremy and Rerun.
Adam led Liz past a living room decorated with upholstered sofas and comfortable armchairs. A large stone fireplace and hand-carved mantel was the focal point of the room.
Surreptitiously, he watched her, gauging her reaction, hoping to see approval in her eyes.
He led her through French doors into the solarium. The arched glass overlooked illuminated walking paths, hanging lanterns, benches, flowers and even a pond with a fountain. He didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath waiting for her reaction until she spoke.
“Oh, Adam, this is stunning.”
“I hoped you would like it.” He clasped her elbow and a jolt of electricity ran through him just by touching her. He led her to a nearby chair. Once she was seated, he perched on the arm of the opposite chair and tried to mask this explosion of attraction he felt whenever he was with her. “How’d it go with your team? Anybody give you a hard time about not telling them where we are?”
“They weren’t happy about it but no one made waves.” Liz took a moment and looked around the room, “This place really is beautiful, Adam. But I must admit that I’m surprised you bought it.”
“Remember I told you a few weeks ago that I had a special project that I would be working on for Country Corners?”
Liz nodded.
“Well, this is it. I’m giving this place a facelift and I’m turning it into a place for teenagers at risk. You know, kids on the fringe of making life-altering mistakes, where intervention from the right person at the right time might make all the difference.”
He watched the blood drain from her face. She knew they’d have to have this conversation sooner or later.
“‘Kids at risk’?” Her voice wavered but he pretended not to notice.
“Yes. Abused kids that need a safe place to stay for a while. Kids mixed up with the wrong crowd. Trying to get to them before they start experimenting with drugs. Kids on the fringe of escalating from minor juvenile offenses to serious crimes.” He paused for a moment and then he said, “And emotionally needy kids. The kind that don’t believe there’s a place in this world for them. The suicidal kids.”
Liz drew in a sharp breath. Speechless, she just stared at him.
“I’m calling it ‘Luke’s House.’”
Liz stared hard at him before she spoke. She stood and began to pace. “Your father was responsible for my brother’s death. Now you come back to town and think if you build a teen center in his name that that will make everything okay?”
“Of course it won’t.”
“It didn’t end with Luke’s suicide either, did it? We had to live in that house with the memories and the guilt. It felt like the house was haunted. Luke was everywhere…and nowhere.”
Adam didn’t move. He didn’t try to touch her. He just sat quietly and looked at her with empathy and compassion.
“The first few months after Luke’s death, all my parents ever did was fight, constantly blaming each other. I didn’t think it would ever end. But it did end. And the silence was worse. Three people living in a mausoleum. It was torture. And then it was over. My mother took off. She kept in contact with me at first.” Liz shrugged. “But I suppose as time went on she found it easier to make a clean break from everything.” Her eyes glistened when she looked at him. “From me. I guess I’m collateral damage from an emotional explosion neither one of them ever recovered from.”
Her pacing slowed and she came to a stop in front of him. “My father threw himself into his work. And me— We both know what happened to me, don’t we, Adam?”
A muscle twitched in his jaw.
“I’m glad we’re having this conversation, Lizzie. It’s long overdue.” He waited a moment and then he gestured to the chair. “Please, sit down. We need to talk.”
Every muscle in her body appeared taut and tight like a deer startled in headlights wanting to run but frozen with fear. Precious seconds clicked by. This was it…the moment of truth…the chance to lay it all on the line and confess his failings and beg her forgiveness. If she’d just stay still long enough to listen.
Without saying a word, she slid back down to the chair opposite him.
“Lizzie.” His voice softened and carried a great sorrow. He took a deep breath.“My father didn’t kill Luke. Luke killed himself.”
Before she could verbally explode, he raised his hand in a halting motion. “My father did everything in his power to help your brother. But one-hour sessions twice a week weren’t enough to cure the damage of living with a controlling, mean bully…and that’s what your father was. He ridiculed Luke every day of his life. Why? Because Luke was artistic and creative. He was kindhearted and sensitive.
“Luke felt helpless against the big, strong sheriff of Country Corners. Your father pushed and pushed until a teenage boy who
had no coping skills and no spiritual foundation felt he had no other option.”
Tears washed her cheeks and blurred her vision. “Stop it.”
“You know it’s true. Your mother knew it, too, but couldn’t stop him. That’s why your family fell apart after Luke committed suicide. It wasn’t because of anything my father did or didn’t do. It was because your family didn’t have a strong spiritual foundation to help them through the troubled times. When the storms came the marriage crumbled.”
He leaned forward and laced his fingers together. “And what happened to you, Lizzie?” He thought his heart would break but he forced himself to say what was in his heart. “You became another victim. The leftover child who did everything in her power to win her father’s love, even followed in his footsteps to please him, so that she didn’t have to follow in Luke’s.”
“Stop it!” She covered her ears with her hands. “I can’t listen to this garbage anymore.”
Adam fell on one knee in front of her and gathered her into his arms.
“No!” She pummeled his chest but he just embraced her more. “Don’t touch me.” She hit him again but this time her jabs lacked any significant force. Then she grasped the front of his shirt and buried her face in his chest and sobbed until he didn’t think she had even one tear left.
“I remember it all. The raging fights between my father and Luke. The beatings. The tears. The fear. I loved my father—but I saw what he did to Luke and I feared him, too.”
The self-recrimination and pain etched on her face tore at his heart. None of his professional skills were helping him now. It was just the two of them…Lizzie and him…lost in the past…buried in pain and guilt and grief…with no way to climb into the present.
“Why couldn’t your father help him?” Her eyes pleaded with him to help her understand. “Luke needed someone to help him.”
“I know, Lizzie. I’m so sorry. Dad tried to help. He did. But one-hour sessions twice a week weren’t enough. Not when Luke still had to go home each night to your dad. Sometimes kids need safe harbors, a sort of time-out for both the troubled teen and their families until they can get help and start to heal. That’s what I want Luke’s House to be.”
“I loved Luke so much…and when I found him… lying across his bed…his eyes open…sightless.”
“It’s okay. Let it out. You’ve been holding it inside for way too long.” Adam tilted her chin and looked into her eyes. “Bundle that pain up and give it to the Lord. Let Him carry it for you, Lizzie. He’s been waiting for you to turn to Him for a very long time. Now just might be that time.”
“I’ve always believed in the Lord, Adam.”
“I know. You believed in Him long before I found my way to Him. But you’ve kept Him at a distance—at arm’s length while you tried to find your own way through the storm.” He smiled at her and brushed a strand of hair from her face. “From everything I’ve read in the Bible, God’s pretty good when it comes to handling storms.”
She smiled tentatively at him and it melted his heart. He pressed his lips against her forehead. He smoothed her hair off her face. “Lizzie…” He lowered his mouth and captured her lips as tenderly and lovingly as he could and he tasted the saltiness of her tears.
There was so much more to say. So many unanswered questions still hanging in the air between them but he didn’t want to overwhelm her. She’d suffered enough tonight. With a gentle smile he released her.
“I’m going to turn in. I’ve prepared one of the spare bedrooms at the top of the stairs. Charlie’s room is on the right. I’ve put you on the left of the staircase. Good night, Liz. See you in the morning.”
He had crossed the room before she found her voice and called his name. He paused in the doorway.
“Why, Adam? Why did you leave me when I needed you most?”
He faced her with as much honesty as he could muster. “Because I was young…and stupid…and maybe a little afraid.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Afraid? Of what?”
He searched her eyes to see if she was strong enough to take the blow he knew his answer would deliver. The steady, direct gaze she returned convinced him that Lizzie had grown in a thousand ways over the years. This wasn’t a fragile teenage girl waiting for answers. It was a strong, independent, breathtakingly beautiful woman—and there could be no more secrets between them.
* * *
Liz’s eyes never left Adam’s face as he took a step back into the room. She could tell from his body language that he didn’t want to answer her question but he would.
“After Luke’s death, your father sent for me. He set up a meeting in the sheriff’s office. Pretty intimidating for a teenage boy to be staring at a prison cell while your dad leaned back in his car, rested his hand on his gun and delivered news that changed my life.”
Her father had sent for Adam. Why?
Her world had just been knocked off its axis. “What did he say?”
“He said you asked him to talk to me. You wanted me to stay away from you, that none of your family wanted anything to do with me or any of my family ever again.”
“You believed him?” Her pulse beat an angry rhythm against the soft sensitive spots beside her eyes. How could her father have done that to Adam? To her?
“I was two days shy of my eighteenth birthday, Lizzie. I was a stupid kid. I didn’t know what to believe. I told him I wanted to hear it from you. He said if I cared about you, then I wouldn’t make things harder on you and I’d just go. He said that you had suffered enough after Luke died and the sight of me, or any of my family, would only cause you pain. He said you hated me.”
Adam shook his head and his voice was heavy with sadness.
“I remember it all, Lizzie. The telephone calls I made to your house that were either intercepted or not answered. The pain I felt because I believed that you didn’t want to be with me. The fear of your father and what he could do to me and to my family. When he told me he was seriously thinking of bringing my dad up on malpractice charges, I was scared. He promised to drop them if I’d leave town and never contact you again—that cinched the deal.
“I left for college and I never looked back. I never told my dad what happened, though he asked repeatedly why we broke up and why I was so insistent on leaving town so quickly.” He locked his gaze with hers. “I honestly believed I was doing it for you. It took a long time for me to be honest with myself. After I found my faith, I was finally able to face the truth about myself. The Lord helped me see my mistakes…my sins…my flaws. And He loved me through them. I became a better man.” He looked at her and raw, painful emotion was written on his face. “I left because I was afraid. I should have stayed and fought for you. Maybe I should have tried to take you with me. But I didn’t. I ran.”
He closed the distance between them.“You were right about me.” Gently he pulled her into his embrace. “I was a coward…and I’ve regretted it a million times since.…” He kissed her lips so softly it felt like the brush of butterfly wings. “But I’m here now, Lizzie. And I’m not a scared boy anymore. I’m a man…wanting to try to make amends…hoping for forgiveness…and maybe a second chance.” When he lowered his head this time, there was nothing chaste or gentle about his kiss. It was an adult kiss filled with passion and longing and promises of a future that neither one of them had dreamt could ever be.
And she kissed him back…just as passionately…clinging to his waist…stepping into his embrace.
When he released her, he smiled into her eyes. “I love you, Lizzie. I always have.”
Without another word, he turned and went upstairs.
Liz’s world was reeling. Her father had threatened Adam? She knew what that looked like. She had seen him turn that ugly side of himself on Luke too many times. Bile rose in her throat and almost choked her.
Why hadn’t she told someone what was happening in her house? Why hadn’t she tried to help Luke? When she’d seen her father go after him, why had she run and hid?
Why hadn’t she intervened?
Guilt washed over her like a burning acid.
She’d always tried to please her father…always searching for his love…even followed in his footsteps as sheriff, trying to be the son Luke couldn’t be. But nothing she had ever done had been good enough and she had never known a father’s love.
A voice inside her mind spoke to her. It wasn’t true. She was precious and cherished in her heavenly Father’s eyes. Adam was right. The Lord had been calling to her and waiting for her to turn over her life and heart and pain to Him for a very long time.
Liz fell to her knees and began to pray.
* * *
The next morning, Liz reached the bottom stair just in time to hear Charlie’s voice outside.
“Rerun, no! Rerun, stop!”
Liz stepped onto the porch, shielded her eyes against the sun’s glare and watched as Charlie sprinted across the lawn and grabbed the dog by the collar. “Let go.”
The dog dropped the teddy bear that he had been trying to shred.
Charlie handed the bear back to Jeremy. “Sorry, Jeremy. He must have wanted to play with it, too.” She turned to the dog and signaled. “Lie down.”
Rerun did as she commanded and put his head on his paws but never took his eyes off the bear.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” Charlie joined her on the porch. “That’s the second time in the past twenty-four hours that I’ve had to rescue that bear from Rerun’s jaws. The dog wants to tear the thing to shreds. I don’t get it. He didn’t act that way before and it’s not like his other toys that squeak when he bites them.”
“Don’t know what to tell you, Charlie. I guess that’s why they pay you the big bucks to be the dog whisperer and not me.” Liz chuckled and patted Charlie on the shoulder in a reassuring gesture.
“Have you seen Adam this morning?” Liz held her breath while she waited for the answer. How was she going to face him after what he’d told her last night? She’d blamed Adam and his family for every terrible, horrible thing that had happened to her family. She’d believed it was his father’s lack of professional skills that caused her brother’s suicide. She’d blamed living in the house where Luke had committed suicide as the eventual reason for her parents’ divorce. She’d blamed Adam for leaving when she needed him most.