“We’re going to get through this,” Macy whispered, pulling her finger away from Addie’s lips. “I promise.”
Tanner jogged back to the car and opened Macy’s door. “Come on in.”
Still feeling shell-shocked, she stepped outside. Tanner grabbed Addie’s car seat, not even flinching at the weight.
“We’ll come back and get the rest of our stuff later,” he said. “Let’s get out of this cold for now.”
Anxiety tightened Macy’s gut as she walked with Tanner toward the front door. How would Devin react to seeing her? With the same resentment she’d expected to feel from Tanner?
As Devin opened the door, she pulled her gaze up to meet his and swallowed hard.
“Devin,” she said with a polite nod.
“If it isn’t Macy Mills,” he said. “It’s been a long time.”
“It really has.”
To her surprise, he pulled her into a hug. “It’s great to see you. Come on in.”
* * *
While Tanner and Devin talked in the kitchen, Macy gave Addie a bath and fed her a bottle. When she got the baby down for a nap, Macy took a shower and cleaned herself up. Finally, she felt halfway alive and ready to face whatever was next.
The scent of savory beef greeted her when she stepped out of the spare bedroom. She followed the aroma into the kitchen, where Tanner and Devin sat at the table drinking coffee.
Tanner stood when he saw her, his eyes widening. “Feeling better?”
She nodded and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yes, I am. And Addie is asleep.”
“I’m going to take a note from your book and go get cleaned up. You two will be okay?” Tanner asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.
Macy glanced at Devin, feeling a touch of nerves at the possibility of a confrontation, at worst, or an unpleasant conversation, at best.
“Of course,” she finally said, rubbing her hands on her jeans.
But deep inside Macy had prepared herself for a verbal lashing. The man was loyal. He always had been, and Macy didn’t expect anything to change.
Tanner took a step toward the hallway and paused in front of her. “We’ll eat dinner and then we’re going to head out.”
“That sounds good,” Macy said.
As soon as he left, a moment of awkward silence filled the room.
“Can I get you some coffee?” Devin stood and walked toward the counter.
“That sounds great. Thank you.” She pulled out a seat at the table and waited awkwardly.
He got up to pour her a cup and then set it in front of her. She wrapped her fingers around the warm ceramic mug, wishing she could transport herself from this moment.
Devin stared at her from across the table. “So how are you doing, Macy?”
She nodded slowly as she considered her words. “Just fine, I suppose. If you don’t count this current situation, that is.”
“Of course. Why’d you come back to this area? I thought you were gone for good.”
“To be closer to my family. Oklahoma was always supposed to be short-term.” She cleared her throat and took a quick sip of her coffee. “How about you? Still a cop?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He tipped an invisible hat toward her before leaning closer. “Look, I know we’re dancing around the elephant in the room right now. I always find it better to get these things out in the open. You and Tanner are working together again, huh?”
“Not really by either of our choice. Circumstances kind of threw us together.”
He leveled his gaze with hers. “He still hasn’t gotten over your breakup, you know.”
Macy scoffed, knowing an exaggeration when she heard one. “Of course he has. He’s always been all about his job. I’m sure it’s made him a lot happier than I ever did.” As she said the words, her father’s image filled her mind. All men were alike, right?
She knew they weren’t. But maybe deep down inside she’d believed that lie.
“Is that really what you think? I thought you knew him better than that.”
Her cheeks flushed. “I know him well enough to know he lives for law enforcement.”
Devin sat back and rubbed his jaw. “You should really talk to him.”
“I’m not sure what good it would accomplish. The past is the past.” She heard the fallacy in her words. She counseled her clients about the importance of dealing with their pasts all the time. Why was it so hard to take her own advice?
“Maybe it would just offer some closure.” He shifted. “I always thought the two of you were good together.”
“We’ve both changed a lot since those days, Devin.” She stared into her coffee. “Sometimes time really doesn’t heal all wounds, even if we’d like to believe it does.”
Thirteen
Tanner noticed how quiet Macy was as they headed down the road after a dinner of pot roast and potatoes. What exactly had she and Devin talked about? He wanted to ask, but they had more important matters at hand right now.
Tanner had gone through the proper steps to ensure they wouldn’t be followed. He’d switched out his FBI vehicle for one of Devin’s cars. He’d left his FBI-issued cell in the car and bought a burner phone instead. If there was a tracking device in any of their possessions, they should be clear of it now. He’d left both the car and the phone in a parking lot, which would make their current location harder to trace.
All of this could be enough to make Tanner lose his job. But he had to do whatever was necessary to help protect this child. As the stakes continued to rise, he couldn’t be complicit in a kidnapping—or a murder.
“Where are we going?” Macy asked, staring out her window and seeming especially melancholy.
He hated to think he had anything to do with her sadness. He’d known it would be hard for Macy to see Devin. His friend had always been a direct kind of guy.
“Devin’s family has a farmhouse. They said we could stay there for a while.”
She clasped her hands on her lap. “Do you think anyone will find us there?”
He readjusted his grip on the steering wheel, pushing aside the nudge of anxiety he felt. He’d been through a lot of situations during his career with law enforcement, but nothing like this.
“I hope not,” he finally said. “But we’ve got to be prepared in case they do.”
“I’m not cut out for this kind of thing, Tanner.” She rubbed her arms and broke her trance-like gaze out the window.
He saw a flash of vulnerability in her eyes. It was something he’d only caught quick glimpses of since they’d reconnected. She guarded herself a little too well sometimes. The last time he’d seen that look...they’d been engaged.
Against his better instincts, he reached out and squeezed her hand. “I think you’re holding up great.”
She swung her head back and forth, released his hand and rubbed her temples. “We still have no idea why my name was scribbled on some paper and placed in the baby’s diaper bag. That was the whole reason you came to me—to get my help. I don’t feel like I’m being much assistance at all. I’m just another complication.”
“You’ve been a huge help with Addie. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
“You would have managed.”
“I happen to think that everything happens for a purpose.”
She glanced up at him. “Even this?”
“Even this. In Ecclesiastes 3, it says, ‘Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses. He sets the time for birth and the time for death...the time for killing and the time for healing.’”
“That’s a good reminder,” Macy said. “There is a time for everything. A right time and a wrong time.”
Tanner glanced behind him, trying to make sure no one was following them. Everything appeared clear.
Now he had to concentrate solely on keeping Addie and Macy safe.
* * *
After Addie was asleep, Macy crept downstairs. She’d hardly a chance to take in the farmhouse when they arrived.
Addie had been hungry and in need of a diaper change, and then Macy had set her down on a blanket for some tummy time. She hadn’t realized just how demanding a six-month-old could be. But every moment was worth it. Seeing Addie smile made all the sacrifices worth it.
Macy glanced around now. The two-story home had clapboard siding, wood floors and updated furniture. The place was surprisingly large and spacious and even had a porch swing. If circumstances were different, Macy would definitely be enjoying that. In fact, she’d had dreams of living in a place like this. Fixing it up with shiplap and shabby chic furniture. She wanted a slew of kids, a family dog or two, and maybe even a mini-farm.
From what she’d observed on the way in, it appeared to be located on a large piece of property. The terrain was mostly flat with a few trees on the perimeter. At least the wide-open spaces would afford them a chance to see anyone coming. Tanner had stowed the car away in the garage, and Macy herself had verified that no one had been behind them on the long country lane leading here.
Macy found Tanner sitting on the couch with a computer he’d picked up at a pawn shop. He offered a soft smile when he saw her and patted the space beside him. With a touch of hesitancy, she sat down.
At once, his familiar scent hit her again. She’d thought she was over her reaction to the man, but apparently she wasn’t. Because if she closed her eyes, she could let herself get lost in that leathery aroma.
“What are you doing?” She glanced at the computer and brought her thoughts back into focus.
Tanner frowned before saying softly, “I’m looking into the deaths of women of childbearing age in this area within the past four days.”
His words caused emotion to catch in Macy’s throat. “That’s...sobering.”
“I know. But it’s reality. Unfortunately.”
The thought hovered in her mind. What if Addie’s mom was dead? What would happen to Addie then? Would she go into the child welfare system?
The thought was unbearable. She couldn’t let herself dwell on it now though. She had other concerns to address first.
She shifted and pulled a pillow onto her lap. The action had been initially subconscious, though she realized exactly what she was doing. Creating a barrier between her and Tanner. Protecting herself. Putting up boundaries.
She licked her lips before asking, “You really think Addie’s mom is dead?”
“I think it’s a possibility we have to explore.”
She peered at the computer. “How’d you get those files?”
“Devin helped me. He’s sent over what he’s found so far, and I’ve been eliminating a majority of the victims. Most of these women have been identified.”
“Are there any who haven’t?”
“Just two right now,” Tanner said.
That seemed like a step in the right direction. “Do you have their photos?”
Tanner clicked on something. “Well, there’s this woman. She died of a drug overdose. From what I can tell, she shows no signs of having given birth over the past year.”
“The second one?”
“The second one is more complicated. She was killed in an auto accident. Hit-and-run. She’s...unrecognizable.”
Macy sucked in a quick breath. “What do they know about her?”
“She’s twenty-three. The car she was in was stolen, apparently.”
Macy let that sink in. “She could be our best possibility yet, Tanner.”
“I agree.”
“How will authorities identify her?”
“Usually in cases like this someone will come forward because a loved one is missing. Otherwise, the medical examiner will try to match fingerprints and dental records.”
“Do you know how soon they’ll know?”
“Any day now. So until then, we wait.”
“Waiting is so hard,” Macy muttered.
“Yes, it is.”
A moment of silence stretched between them. Macy looked at her fingers in her lap, trying to formulate her thoughts. There was no easy way to broach the subject that had been on her mind since her talk with Devin. But maybe it was time. She was a psychologist. She taught people how to come to terms with their pasts. Now she needed to listen to her own advice.
“Tanner, I’m sorry I left you nothing but a note to break up with you,” she started, her voice raw and scratchy with emotion. “It was a poor choice.”
His eyebrows flickered up. He closed the laptop and turned to face her. “I...uh...I wasn’t expecting you to say that. But thank you.”
She’d already dived in. She had to finish this now. “I knew if I tried to have a conversation with you face-to-face that I’d change my mind. So I did the cowardly thing instead. I left the note and got out of town.”
“I understand that you wanted to go to grad school to get your doctorate. And everything that happened...well, it gave you that chance.” His voice sounded just as tight as hers.
She shook her head, wishing he wasn’t making it this easy on her. “I didn’t really care about getting my doctorate in Oklahoma, Tanner.”
“What do you mean?” His eyes narrowed with thought.
Anxiety suddenly got the best of her, and all she wanted to do was get out of here. Now. She unfolded her legs from beneath her, ready to spring up. “You know what? Never mind. I shouldn’t have brought this up.”
Tanner gently laid a hand on her arm before she could flee “No, I want to know. Please.”
She eased herself back onto the couch and licked her lips. She’d dreaded this moment for a long time and had built it up to be insurmountable. She just needed to get this over with.
“Pruett talked to me,” she started, forcing her eyes to meet Tanner’s.
Confusion washed over his features. “Pruett? The guy who was in police academy with me?”
She nodded. “Yeah, he told me about your conversation with him. I didn’t want to stand in the way of your dreams, Tanner. That’s why—”
“Wait, wait, wait.” He raised a hand to halt the conversation. Tension, confusion and maybe a touch of anger tightened his face. “I don’t remember a conversation with Pruett. And what do you mean stand in the way of my dreams? How in the world were you doing that? You were my dream, Macy.”
Her cheeks warmed at the sincerity in his words. All her thoughts disappeared for a moment. But she couldn’t get tangled up in all her emotions. She needed to get this conversation over with.
“He told me why you proposed,” she finally said, her voice cracking. She didn’t want to relive that conversation. But she had to.
“And why was that?” He leaned forward, his elbows propped on his legs and intently watching her. Waiting for her response.
Her eyes met his. “Because I was pregnant.”
Fourteen
“Your pregnancy obviously sped up how I thought everything would play out,” Tanner said, still trying to comprehend what Macy was telling him. This had been the last thing he’d expected to hear. “But that wasn’t the only reason I proposed.”
Macy shook her head, her shoulders slumped as if the emotional burden of this conversation was too heavy to carry. “If you only married me because I was pregnant, I would always wonder if you really loved me or if you’d just married me because it was the right thing. I’d wondered about it before, but then when Pruett told me that...”
“It played right into all your fears.” Tanner frowned.
She drew in a long, deep breath. “He told me you weren’t going to be able to go to the FBI Academy. You would resent me for that. You may not have thought so at the time, but in the end, you would have.”
“I should have been the judge of that.”
Anger fought to burst to life inside him, but Tanner used every ounce of restraint to hold it back. Anger would do no good right now, and would only serve to silence Macy. He didn’t want that. She’d been silent for five years.
Macy glanced down at her lap again and rubbed her lips together, another wave of melancholy seeming to wash over her. “Then I lost the baby. The truth is I was devastated.”
She dragged her gaze up to meet his. “I’ve always wanted a family. I’ve always felt like I was traversing through life by myself. As you know, my mom died when I was young and then my dad buried himself in his work. My sister is considerably older than me, and she’s busy with her own family.”
“I know.”
“Then I met you, and I didn’t feel alone.” Her voice cracked with emotion. “When I got pregnant, images of having the family I’d always dreamed about filled my thoughts. I didn’t really care about my degree anymore even. Suddenly, life seemed really clear.”
“I know losing the baby was hard on you, Macy.”
She swung her head back and forth before pinching the skin between her eyes. “It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? I mean, we weren’t ready for a baby. It was all an accident.”
Tanner grabbed her hand and squeezed it, wishing he could relieve some of her pain. “The baby would have been a blessing, despite the circumstances.”
She wiped away a tear that had welled up and trickled down her flushed cheek, dragged in a ragged breath and seemed to take a moment to compose herself. “You had every right to mourn,” he continued. “That was our child. I don’t care what anyone else said.” Tanner shifted and lowered his voice. “I wish you’d talked to me, Macy.”
Macy pulled her hand away, his words seeming to snap her out of her vulnerable state. “It doesn’t matter now, right? Everything worked out. You’re in the FBI. I got my doctorate.”
His jaw flexed, and he instantly wanted the vulnerable Macy back. The one who was opening up. Who wasn’t afraid to show weakness or admit to feeling hurt. “We could have made it work. Even after you lost the baby, we could have still gotten married. We could have started a family, even if people told us we were foolish because we were young.”
The Baby Assignment Page 11