Mickey was trained. Mickey was experienced. Mickey had done this before.
I had to trust in him and in the fates that brought him to me. And I had to trust that having him, thus having happiness, the fates wouldn’t then sweep it all away.
I drew in breath and focused on my daughter.
“Okay, do we want pie? And I didn’t ask, did you guys get your schoolwork done? This was a big night for us and we were all busy preparing. But now there’s time so you can hit it without having to stay up until midnight.”
Pippa stared at me in blank surprise.
“I got stuff to do,” Auden shared.
I looked to my son. “You want to do it eating pie?”
He was examining me closely.
He stopped doing that, gave me a gentle grin and asked, “Am I Auden Moss?”
“You are,” I confirmed, grinning back. It might be forced but damn it, I did it.
“Then…totally,” Auden answered about the pie.
“Okay. I’ll get pie,” I said. “You get your books.” I turned my attention back to Pippa. “Sweets? How about you?”
She kept staring at me a moment before she snapped out of it and told me, “I have a paper to write.”
“Oh God, I hope it isn’t a long one,” I mumbled.
“It’ll go faster with pie,” she declared.
I winked at her and replied, “Gotcha. Need my laptop?”
“I have mine.”
“Okay. Let’s get on it,” I said, moving back to the pie.
I was quaking inside and I let that happen.
Outside, I was holding it together.
Maybe one day I’d be able to completely deal.
Maybe not.
It didn’t matter.
This was working.
* * * * *
The TV was playing. The kids were on the couch watching it. I was in my armchair with a full glass of wine I hadn’t touched in an hour and a half.
My eyes were to the television but my mind was on my phone, which was sitting at the base of my wineglass on the table beside me.
I was still quaking inside and now it was worse. It was lucky I was sitting down because I could give the appearance of relaxed lounging when I was not relaxed in the slightest.
It was after eleven. And it was precisely three hours and forty-two minutes since Mickey rushed out to fight a fire on the jetty.
How long did it take to fight a fire?
My phone rang and I couldn’t contain my jump, which I fancied sent me inches into the air in my chair.
I sensed my kids jumping with me.
I looked to the phone and felt a sweet release when I saw on the display that it was Mickey.
I snatched it up and leaped from the chair as I took the call and put the phone to my ear.
“Hey,” I greeted.
“Hey back,” he replied as I walked the landing in front of my wall of windows.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Fire’s out,” he answered.
“Everyone’s fine?” I pushed.
“We’re all good, baby,” he said softly, but he sounded tired.
I felt my shoulders slump as I stopped, dropped my head and kept the phone to my ear.
“Good,” I whispered then suddenly lifted my head, twisted and gave a thumb’s up and a reassuring smile to my kids, both of whom were looking over the couch at me.
Pippa clapped silently and Auden gave me a relieved grin.
I turned my attention back to my feet. “Was there a lot of damage?”
“Four shops gutted, fire and smoke damage to the rest of the jetty. It wasn’t good, Amy. Had to call all the rigs in all over the county.”
“Oh my God,” I breathed.
“Yeah. Haven’t had anything this big in at least ten, eleven years. We’re waitin’ for the cool down so the chief and captains can go in, have a look. But this is a new build. Chief did the inspections himself. No way this shoulda gotten this out of control.”
This did not make me feel great but I was talking to Mickey who sounded tired but obviously was alive so I pushed past that and asked, “What are you saying?”
“I’m sayin’ by the time I got here, there were three rigs here and three shops were already gone. Buildings that are less than a year old made of modern materials, fire alarms and state-of-the art fire protection systems.”
“Are you saying—?”
He cut me off. “Right now I’m sayin’ we’ll finish this later. I just wanted you to know all was good. Most of the shops were closed, civilians that were around got out. No one hurt. We’re hosin’ it down, makin’ sure all the sparks are out. Gonna be a while before I get home.”
“I’ll have my phone on my nightstand.”
“What?” he sounded distracted.
“I’ll have my phone on my nightstand,” I told him. “Call me, text me, whatever before you come home. I just want to see you before you go to sleep. I’ll run over and just…see you then let you go in and crash. Would you mind doing that?”
I had his full attention when he replied, “It’s late and it’s gonna be later when I get home, Amy.”
“You know I don’t mind late when it comes to you.”
I got a soft, sweet, “Right. Then I’ll get in touch, darlin’.”
“Okay, Mickey. I’ll let you go.”
“Thanks, babe. Later.”
“’Bye, honey.”
We rang off and I turned to my kids.
“So he’s okay?” Auden asked for confirmation.
“He is,” I nodded, moving back to them. “Everyone is. It’s all good. I mean,” I positioned my behind over the chair and fell into it, “not the jetty, which sustained a lot of damage. But the important part. The people.”
“Bummed,” Pippa murmured then jerked her head and assured me, “Not about Mickey. Totes happy he’s good, Mom. Just that there are a lot of awesome shops on the jetty. I hope the good ones didn’t get toasted.”
“Olympia Moss, ground zero on new mental illness. Shopping on the brain,” Auden said, his tone having an edge of nasty but it was this in subtle rebuke, stating in his big brother way he thought she’d been insensitive.
“Auden! Shut up!” she snapped.
Auden opened his mouth but I got there before him, doing it straightening out of the chair I’d just collapsed in, taking my wine with me.
“Okay, kiddos, no fighting. I know Pip didn’t mean anything by what she said. But Mom’s had a rough night. The meeting of her beloved children with a man she cares about who is officially now in all of our lives and that man racing off to fight a fire before having his pie. I need to sip wine in a hot bath and then go to sleep. Can I do that without you two killing each other in front of the TV?”
“With Pip as my sister, I have tons of experience curbing murderous tendencies,” Auden declared.
“With Auden as my brother, I have more,” Pip added irately.
“Wonderful. I’ll wake up to my house as I like it and not the aftermath of a blood bath,” I said while walking in front of the couch and stopping. “Now, hugs for your mom who had a rough night seeing as you could be eighty and give me hugs and that’d fortify me through anything.”
To my delight, neither hesitated before they got up and gave me hugs.
Pippa’s was tight and swift.
Auden’s was longer and included a kiss on the cheek.
As they settled back in, I wandered away, the quake inside gone, good to get in my bathtub, soak, finish my wine and wait for Mickey’s call.
I did my wandering, saying, “Don’t stay up much longer.”
“Won’t, Mom,” Auden replied.
“Going to bed soon,” Pippa told me.
“Okay, kids, ’night.”
I got return “’nights.” I walked to my room. I took my bath. I sipped my wine. I did both of these extremely glad that night was over and proud of myself that I’d found it in me to hold myself together.
Out
of the bath, I lotioned and put a spritz of perfume, a pair of fleecy yoga pants, a shelf-bra camisole and a cardigan that was soft and pretty but was also warm.
I lit my fire, got my book, set my phone on the side table and was about to lay on the daybed snuggled under my afghan waiting for Mickey’s call when my eyes drifted to the door.
Mickey was fine. The night went well. All my loved ones were safe.
But one thing happened that night that was niggling me, and after the success of the evening, my kids showing they were good kids, I thought it might be time to do something about it.
I walked out of my room and down the hall to see the living room dark, the TV off.
I kept walking and saw no light coming from under Pippa’s door.
But there was one coming from under Auden’s.
I knocked softly at my son’s door and called, “Hey, kid, you still up?”
“Yeah, come in, Mom,” he called back.
I opened the door, took a step in and stopped.
I had not found a cleaning lady yet because I still was enjoying the feeling of accomplishment when I cleaned my own house.
But with the kids back, I enjoyed it more, picking up rooms they’d made their own because they spent time in them.
Auden’s bed worked much better no longer against the side wall but the back wall and facing his windows to the sea. He had band posters up plus blood-guts-and-glory type inspirational posters, these he’d started putting up years ago, I suspected to psych him up constantly, if sometimes subconsciously, to be a good competitor.
He needed to tidy. He was like his dad dropping his clothes everywhere. And there was tons of stuff all over his dresser, his desk. This I never touched, thinking he probably knew how to find whatever he needed. But it was a sixteen-year-old boy’s room, lived in and Auden’s, even if it was that in a multi-million dollar show home.
I liked this.
But I was hesitant about the conversation we needed to have.
“Everything cool, Mom?” he asked, prompting me out of my study of his room, and I gave my attention to him.
He was across the room, standing in his pajamas but he had his tablet in his hand, and when I’d opened the door, he’d been sticking his headphones in it.
“Just wanted to bend your ear a second about something that’s troubling me,” I told him.
“What?” he asked.
I stepped in, shut the door and leaned into it. “What’s your read on Polly?”
His face went guarded.
“I’m not being—” I started to assure him quickly.
“She’s a phase,” he cut me off to say.
“I’m sorry?”
“For Pip. She’s not Pippa’s normal kind of friend. But Polly knows everybody. She’s real social. Big on that. And Pip coming to a new school, Polly latched on. Pip having money and nice clothes and being pretty and stuff…” he trailed off and shrugged, though he didn’t need to finish that, I knew what he was saying. Then he continued, “I think she’s a phase.”
“So you don’t care for her all that much,” I guessed.
“Won’t have to think anything once Pip finds her place in high school and Polly’s history.”
That was his hope.
He did not like Polly.
It was also my hope because as awful as it was to say, I didn’t either.
I nodded. “Okay, Auden. I didn’t want to put you on the spot but I also got the sense she wasn’t Pippa’s kind of friend. That said, it’s clear Pip likes spending time with her so I didn’t want to bring it up with your sister and upset her.”
He nodded too. “Yeah. But we’re just back at school, Mom. Freshmen settle in. She’ll find it.”
“Okay, kid,” I replied.
“Don’t worry. Pip’s a good girl. It’ll turn out okay.”
I loved my son.
I smiled. “You’re right. It will. But mothers worry.”
He smiled back. “Well, you can stop worrying about that.”
Very, very much loved my son.
“Okay, I’ll leave you to your music.”
“Right, Mom. ’Night.”
“’Night, kiddo.”
I gave him another smile before I went out the door, closed it behind me and walked back to my room.
Feeling better about all that, only then did I settle into my daybed to read and wait for Mickey’s call.
* * * * *
My body jolted as my cell rang.
I sat up, my book crashing to the floor, and snatched the phone up.
“Hey,” I said into it.
“Hey back,” Mickey replied. “Almost on our street.”
“Okay, honey, I’ll be over at your place. Quick kiss then you can hit the sack.”
“See you there.”
We rang off and I stared a little guiltily at the fire I’d left burning and fell asleep in front of (though, who would have imagined I could ever fall asleep waiting for Mickey coming back after fighting a fire). I shut off the gas, waited for the flame to die out then slid my feet into my slippers that looked like they were made of sweater material, with sequins on the knit and a fluffy trim of fake fur. They were warm but they also had a plastic sole with traction.
Then I took off, dashing down the hall and out the front door.
I slowed my step as I made my way down the walk.
I speeded it up as I saw the lights of Mickey’s SUV coming down the street.
I darted in a half-jog, half-walk up Mickey’s drive, doing this following his SUV.
I slowed again as he got out of his truck but only because I was nearly upon him.
I didn’t wait for him to close the car door before I threw myself in his arms.
As mine closed around him, his wrapped tight around me and I could feel his breath stirring the hair on top of my head.
“Fuck, you smell good,” he murmured.
“Took a bath before bed to relax,” I replied to his chest.
“Mm…”
I felt his sound through my cheek and it vibrated deep in my belly.
We held on a while and when Mickey stated gently, “I’m good, Amy,” I tipped my head back to catch his eyes.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
He cupped my jaw with a hand. “You worried.”
“I was terrified out of my mind,” I told him the absolute truth but did it in a quip and then delighted in his chuckle.
He thought I was joking.
And he would think that, forever.
I would never lie to Mickey about anything else.
But so he could do what he loved to do to protect the citizens of Magdalene without a thought of the worry it caused me, I’d hide that from him for as long as he gave his time to the MFD.
Then he said something to me that, not with his words but with the strength he assumed I had in sharing them, was one of the biggest compliments he could give me.
“It was arson, Amy.”
I stared up at him. “Really?”
“Chief’s callin’ in an investigator. We don’t have one workin’ for the county because we don’t need one. But it was not one fire that spread. We found fire origin in three of those shops. We saw it. We know it. Bobby wants someone to make it official so Coert’s got everything he needs.”
“Who would do that?” I asked.
“No clue,” he answered. “Could be some issue with those shops or that development. Could be we got a fire bug.”
Oh, God. No.
I hid the panic at the very idea of that and what it would mean to the boys of the MFD, primarily Mickey, when I saw the fatigue gathered around his eyes and said, “Okay, honey. It’s out now and all’s good. But it’s late so I need to let you go so you can get some rest.”
“Okay, baby, kiss first.”
I nodded, rolling up on my toes as he bent into me and we shared a quick, sweet kiss that was a little wet since, during it, he touched his tongue to mine.
I rolled back and whispered, “G
lad you and all the guys are safe, Mickey.”
“Me too, babe.”
I gave him a squeeze and ordered, “Go to bed.”
“Right,” he muttered, bending in for another lip touch before I pulled away and moved away so he could get out of his car door and close it.
“Sleep well,” I told him, grabbing his hand and leaning back into him.
“Will do. You too.”
“Will do. ’Night, honey.”
He tightened his hand in mine before letting it go on his, “’Night, Amy.”
I grinned, turned and walked away only to stop and turn around when he said loudly with great humor, “Jesus, darlin’.”
“What?” I asked.
“Only my heiress would have fluffy slippers with sequins on ’em.”
I loved it that with the night he had, he was smiling and I’d done something to make him do it.
Thus I went for more.
“There’s not much I do to keep up the Bourne-Hathaway name, but I feel it’s a moral imperative to wear appropriate heiress slippers.”
He shook his head and ordered, “Go home.”
“You got it,” I replied, turned and strolled back to my house.
This time, I didn’t do it letting Mickey watch me in my yoga pants and sequined slippers.
I did it turning once and waving hard, with a big smile.
He also had a big smile and he jerked up his chin.
I didn’t hear the garage door go down and I would see as I was closing my front door that Mickey waited at the rear bumper of his SUV for me to get home safely even though I lived right across our usually sleepy but at that hour, now totally comatose street.
My guy was a good guy.
I locked the door and then jumped a mile when I heard, “Mom.”
I turned, hand to my chest, heart hammering, to see Olympia in the shadows.
“Honey, you scared the dickens out of me.”
Suddenly, I found my daughter in my arms, the side of her head pressed to the side of mine and she was squeezing the breath out of me.
Just as suddenly as she threw herself in my arms, she said, “Glad Mickey’s okay,” let me go, turned and hurried away.
She’d heard me make plans to go see he was all right.
She’d waited up with me.
And maybe, (I didn’t put it past my girl, she could be nosy) she’d watched through the guestroom window as I ran across the street to make sure he was all right.
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