by Fiona Faris
When she thought about it too much, her shoulders would drop with despair, and she would feel overwhelmed. It wasn’t just because of her current circumstances. It was a culmination of everything that had happened to her in such a short time. She felt wrong-footed, unable to find her balance, or feel at peace. She longed nostalgically for her mother, remembering long-gone days when she could lay her head against the cushiony softness of her mother and banish the world for a while.
I suppose this is what it means to be an adult.
She decided to go for a walk in the garden; it was getting late – the sun was just setting. She had the thought that she might sit by the lake and enjoy the sunset, perhaps calm her heart down.
She found a smooth round stone to sit upon and stared at the changing colors of the sunset over the water. It was indeed as peaceful as she’d hoped.
“And who would ye be then? I havena seen ye before.”
She jumped, turning around to see a man standing behind her, a stick in his hand. He had a blade of grass sticking out between his teeth, and he was looking her over as if she was a particularly delicious pie. She took a step back in fear.
“Leave me alone.” She tried to say imperiously, but the words came out awfully breathless.
His eyes widened. “Ye’re a Sassenach? Tis no wonder I havena seen ye around these parts then. What are ye aboot then?”
Georgiana took another step back. “G-go aw-away.”
The man’s brow furrowed. “Haud yer wheest. There’s nae need for ye to be afearin’ me. I was just askin…”
Georgiana took another step back, and the man’s face changed, now filled with panic, he leaped forward. She opened her mouth to scream and took another step back… only she was too close to the edge of the lake. Slipping in the mud, she scrambled for balance before plummeting down into the lake. The shock of submersion hit her, and she opened her mouth to breathe only to fill it with brackish water. Her heavy skirts and boots pulled her downwards, and she’d come to the end of her life.
There was a splash above her, and she looked up to see someone swimming toward her. She wanted to shake her head at the person, tell them to go back. That it was of no use because her weight would just pull them both down if he tried to rescue her.
Instead of reaching for her hand, however, the person dove until he could put his hands on her waist before he started propelling her upward. She kicked her legs, trying to help even as her chest was burning and she could feel her vision fading.
Then suddenly she could breathe again. There was cold air on her face, and she was gasping. She shivered, trying to get her shaking limbs to work as the man pulled her to the shore. It was the same man that scared her and caused her to fall into the water! Her heart began pounding for a different reason, wondering if he had saved her only to defile her. He pulled her roughly onto the bank and let her lay at his feet as they both breathed hard.
She watched him, waiting to see what he would do next.
He blinked down at her. “Are ye alright? Can ye get to yer feet?”
Georgiana wanted to say no. If she just lay on the grass, he could not harm her. And perhaps Ethan would come looking for her. At least she hoped fervently that he would.
But she hesitated too long, and he leaned down and pulled her to her feet. Leaning close, so he was right in her face, he shouted. “Do ye ken where yer people are?”
Georgiana blinked a few times, realizing that he thought she was a bit slow in the head. She drew herself up to her full height and lifted her chin to seem haughtier. “I live at Eastcairn Fortress.”
“Oh, aye? I dinna ken anyone was livin’ there.”
“We just purchased it from the family estate.”
“Ah.” The man nodded but did not seem all that impressed. “We’d best be going then. They must be wonderin’ where ye got tae.”
She watched him with suspicion for a moment, but he just turned and went off, and she had to scramble to follow.
Perhaps he means me no harm?
She shivered at the cold seeping into her very bones and feared she would never be rid of it. Shuffling behind him as he pulled her along, she wondered sheepishly if she had made a stupid mistake that almost cost her life.
Ethan was walking out of the gate as they approached the fortress, a worried frown on his face. His brow cleared momentarily when he caught sight of her and then furrowed even more as he took in the state of her. He began to run towards her, calling her name.
“Georgiana! What happened to ye?”
The man who had rescued her answered. “She fell in the loch.”
Ethan turned to him and stared. “Who are ye?”
“Name’s Monroe Dubhghall MacKenzie. Heard tell ye’re lookin’ fer labor?”
Ethan stared before turning back to Georgiana, “Are ye alrigh’?”
She simply shivered and left him to come to his own conclusions.
“Alright then,” he bent down and swept her into his arms, carrying her to the house. Monroe followed slowly behind, coming to a stop at the front step as Ethan took his wife inside.
“Misty!” he shouted as he headed for their bedchamber. The lady’s maid came running.
“What’s happened?” she stared at Georgiana in horror.
“She fell in the loch. Tak’ her clothes off and get her in something warm and dry. I shall go and find something hot for her tae drink.”
“Oh no need sir, I could send for-” Misty began to protest, not used to masters doing for themselves.
“It will be faster if I go.” Ethan interrupted, even as he hurried out of the room. Georgiana sat shivering on the bed, and Misty hastened to divest her of the wet clothing. She had just wrapped her mistress in a robe and was urging her to get under the covers so that she could stoke up the fire when Ethan returned, a steaming cup in his hand.
“I got ye a hot toddy.” He handed it to his wife and observed carefully as she drank, “How are ye feeling? Is yer throat sore? Do ye have a headache? Are ye warm?”
Georgiana gave him a tentative smile that turned into a cough. “I’m fine,” she answered hoarsely.
“No, ye aren’a. What were ye thinking going down to the loch by yersel’? How did ye fall in?” Ethan fussed with her blankets, tucking them in around her and fluffing up her pillows before draping a shawl around her shoulders.
Georgiana’s face colored, and she looked into her cup of steaming hot water and liquor. “I-I thought that the man was trying to attack me. H-he just accosted me out of nowhe-”
“He accosted ye?” Ethan grabbed her shoulders, looking her over anxiously, “Did he hurt ye? I shall kill him.”
“No, no! I was just…I was afraid. I didn’t know him, and he just appeared.”
Ethan frowned, puzzled. “And that’s how ye ended up in the loch?”
“I stepped backward, trying to get away from him. I didn’t realize how close to the edge I was.” She shivered, “I thought I was dead for sure. But then he saved my life and brought me home.”
Ethan was watching her, eyes soft with sympathy but also with amusement. “Ye puir thing,” he murmured as he sat on the bed beside her and pulled her into his arms, “Ye’ve had a rough time of it, havena ye?”
“It hasn’t been easy.”
“Weel…stay here with Misty; see she’s built up the fire really high…I’m going tae speak tae Mr. Mackenzie and see what he’s aboot.” Ethan got to his feet, still rubbing Georgiana’s back, “I shall bring ye another hot toddy, aye?”
“Alright…” Georgiana nodded, “Hurry back.”
“I will.” He reached down and tweaked her cheek before walking out with a loaded look at Misty. The lady’s maid came over, rearranging the shawl around Georgiana’s shoulders before taking a towel to dry her hair.
“We’ll have you warm and well again in no time,” she reassured her mistress.
Georgiana shivered.
* * *
Ethan went down to speak to the stranger, cursing him
self for a fool. He should have followed Georgiana immediately after she left and not waited to see if she would return on her own. He had known she was annoyed with him, which meant she was not thinking about her safety or anything except getting away from him. Now he might have lost her were it not for the quick action of this man.
Ethan did not know whether to thank him or shake him. After all, without his presence, Georgiana would not have fallen into the lake in the first place.
“Mr. Mackenzie. Would ye care to tell me exactly what happened by the loch?” he asked as soon as he was out the door, arms folded across his chest.
The man seemed unfazed by his hostility and simply launched into his tale. Ethan listened keenly, coming to the realization that it was his own failing on many levels that had led to this. He resolved that he would remedy what he could as soon as possible.
Chapter Eighteen
Georgiana could feel it. The heat suffusing her body, not from the roaring flames in the fire that seemed to be shouting warnings at her, but from inside. She felt it spreading through her blood like an out of control wildfire.
The poor girl couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t get warm…all the common signs of infection. She could’ve slapped herself... too distracted with anger and perceived a threat where none existed and ended up almost drowning. Now, she was sick, infection burning away at her, and it was her own fault.
She couldn’t remember lying down but could feel the soft feathery down of the pillow against her back as her eyes grew heavier with each blink.
Time passed strangely until she heard voices, and Georgiana’s hand shot out, scrabbling at the bedside table for something to defend herself with, but her hand stilled as the voice grew closer.
Ethan.
Slumping back on the bed, sighing with a combination of relief and embarrassment, she worried that she was losing her mind.
His long ginger hair filled her swimming vision, his piercing blue eyes penetrating the fog of her mind. But she couldn’t make out his words as she finally gave in to the blackness.
She woke up freezing.
Barely opening her eyes, she saw Ethan standing over her with a rag. She had been dreaming of fire and brimstone. She floated back into her fitful sleep.
When Georgiana woke up again, she fought to sit up, trying desperately to get her bearings. She was in her house, lying on her bed, and there was a tray of food and a pitcher of water on the table. She reached for it, feeling parched.
“What are ye doing? Ye need to rest!” His voice hit her like a freight train.
“For crying out loud, Ethan. Quiet,” she begged, clutching at her pounding head.
His eyes softened. “Shh… lay back down.”
“What happened? What day is it? Where’s Misty?” her voice hitched on the last question, but she was too tired to care.
Ethan shook his head, which only made her nerves worse. “Yer temperature shot up so high, I was afeared that ye might die.” he reached for her chest, pulling at the fabric wrapped around it. “Ye’ve been taken bad, drifting in and out of consciousness....” He leaned toward her, concern shining from the depths of his azure blue eyes. “I’ve been sae worrit.”
Georgiana reached out to cover his hand with hers. “Well, I feel better now, I think.” The roll of his eyes told her that at least she hadn’t lost her charm. She almost smiled until a dizzying pain sent her retching over the side of the bed. “W-what’s happening to me, Ethan?”
“I dinna ken. The herb woman said she would return with something that might help.” He picked up a glass filled with a brown liquid. “For now, this is the best we can do for ye. Sorry.” Another sharp pain had her swimming in the darkness again as he made her swallow the foul-tasting liquid.
When she woke again, it was dark outside. A candle burned low on the table beside her. She could just barely make out Ethan’s hunched form sleeping in the chair next to her bed. Later, Georgiana would swear it was the fever, but she reached out and ran a hand through his long hair. Her hand slid down to cover his as sleep claimed her again.
Georgiana! Dammit, Georgiana!” There was that blasted shouting again.
“What?”
“Thank god!” She could hear the choked back tears as he laid his head over her chest. “I thought ye were a goner.”
“If I were that easy to kill, I’d be dead by now.”
“Dinna do that again.” Her consciousness was swimming again, but she could swear she heard him whisper, “ye scared me.”
The next time she awoke it was to the sight of Ethan putting on a coat and lacing up his boots.
“Where are you going?”
She’d clearly startled him by the look on his face. “We need medicine… a proper physician to see tae ye. I’ve got to go and find one.”
“Ethan.”
He closed the distance between the two of them. “I’ll be back, Georgiana.”
“Don’t. Don’t leave me here.” She hated the weakness behind her words, but her fever won out as she nearly begged him.
“I’ll be back. And then ye’ll get better. I have to go.”
“Ethan.” She reached out, grabbing his hand before he could leave, her voice merely a whisper. “Don’t leave me here to die.”
His lips brushed at her forehead as he squeezed her hand. “I’ll be back. Misty will watch over ye, dinna fash.”
“Be careful.” But he was already gone.
Georgiana stared up at the ceiling, battling alone in her hour of need. Her last thought was of Ethan before everything went black again.
“Rise and shine, you need to eat.” Ethan was propping her up into a sitting position, almost smiling at her.
“You’re back.”
“O’course I am. Now eat.” He was holding a bowl, and it smelled like heaven. Once she’d finished the last of it, she began to take notice of her body. She wasn’t shaking anymore, and the skin across her chest wasn’t burning with the force of the sun. Ethan was bustling around the room, doing something when she clattered the spoon against the bowl.
“Feeling better?” His words were like honey to her clear mind.
“Yes, thank you.” She moved to stand, but the pain pulled her back onto the bed.
“Och, dinna try moving too much yet. It’ll be a few more days.”
“You found a physician.” It wasn’t a question, but by the look on his face, she wished she hadn’t spoken it.
“No,” he gulped. “But I found medicine.”
“What happened?”
“I went to Mackenzie as he is the closest laird tae us. Their physician wouldna come down because they ken my faither. They also ken aboot us. They said they dinna want to get involved. But he gave me something to heal ye.”
She just nodded.
“I suppose it’s better than nothing. And we should have expected that people would not be happy about…what you did.”
“Oh, aye.” He nodded and then gave her a weak grin, “Why their own by-blows might get ideas, no?”
His eyes were heavy with things she did not know about but was determined to find out…once she felt well enough to insist. She remembered flashes of her fever, remembered Ethan taking care of her. And she remembered the fear she felt when he’d left, concerned for her safety.
“Thank you, Ethan.”
He didn’t respond but crawled into their bed next to her. Within moments his breathing was even, and he was asleep. He must’ve been through hell trying to keep her alive. Georgiana reached out and brushed the hair from his face before throwing the blanket over her. She’d finish healing, and then they could work on being better at this marriage thing. And then maybe she could face the growing nauseating twist in her stomach as she gazed at his sleeping form.
* * *
The fever abated, but Georgiana kept being sick every morning. Her dizziness was persistent, and sometimes, she would faint. Ethan was worried sick and watched her like a hawk, but both the herb woman and Mrs. Campbell swore to him tha
t she was otherwise healthy.
“Then, why? Why does she keep vomiting every morning eh? Can ye tell me tha’?” he asked, clutching Mrs. Campbell desperately.
“Likely she’s wi’ child. She has th’ glow.”
“Glow?” Ethan arched his eyebrow in surprise.
“Aye. The glow what a woman gets when there’s a bairn on th’ way. Yer Georgiana definitely has it.”