by Irene, Susan
“Sorry Gwen. I just feel alive and am ready to let go of my past completely and start a new life.” They intertwined their arms and ran together back to the dorm.
Chapter Twelve
Megan had finally saved enough money that she could go apartment hunting. She wished she had a car, she would not mind looking for a place out of town. She was tired of seeing the same people and places. She went downstairs to the lobby to grab a paper. It was no surprise to see Mark was there.
“Is there anything good in the paper today?” He tried too hard to get her to notice him.
“You know probably the same old stuff. I’m not sure why I buy it.” She and Michael had decided it might be best if she tried to be friends with him. It seemed to have worked. As long as she made an effort to talk to him, he stopped leaching on to her every time they were in the same room.
He hesitated next to her. “Um…if you aren’t doing anything. I mean if you’re busy.” He cleared his throat. “Would you like to grab a bite to eat?” He had asked her out before and she always had an excuse. This time though she wondered if it was time to find out more about him. From her pause, he must have sensed the pending rejection so he quickly added. “I mean like as friends not a date or anything.”
“Yeah, that would be great. I’m starving.” She wished she had not shown so much enthusiasm as he burst into a smile, which made him look even creepier.
“But just a quick bite; I have some things to do this afternoon.” She was not sure what information she was going to get out of this lunch but something was pushing her on. They walked the short distance to Mike’s burgers. He offered to pay for her meal but she insisted she needed to work on her money skills. He bought the excuse and did not push the issue.
They shared some small talk about the weather and work and she found out he had been the manager at the dorm for seven years. He told her he pretty much knows everyone here as everyone had passed through the dorm at one time or another. This confused Megan, she could not imagine why everyone in town would want to live in the dorm or why they would have to. She decided to test the waters and find out how much he knew about the surrounding area. It might aid her in her apartment hunting.
“So everyone started in the dorms? That’s interesting. How long can you stay in the dorm?”
“Oh for you…as long as you want.” He laughed at an attempt to cover his true feelings. “No, seriously most stay an average of a year. Some leave sooner if they meet someone and they want to settle down together. Then they would buy a house. Some leave for an apartment so they can come and go and have visitors until late into the night.
“Well I haven’t met someone and I’m not really a party animal.” She growled which made him laugh.
“I wouldn’t mind a garden though. I remember visiting a garden once that had a variety of fruit trees and rosebushes and flowers of every kind.” She paused at that memory, wondering now if that had been a memory from her past. She pushed it aside for now.
“Anyway, where would one find something like that?”
“You aren’t moving out yet? You need to have money and you barely started working.”
“No but if I wanted to visit a place like that where would I go? I mean you have been here seven years; you must know everything about this town.” This was the ticket; he sparkled at the compliment.
“Oh well there is Karney Park housing. It’s more for families with young kids. Benchmark Acres is for the athletic type but what you are looking for is probably Garden Park Estates. As the name may suggest there’s a lot of gardens and such.”
“Where’s that one located?”
“Just east of town; you would head toward the water tower, which is east. That’s another thing most people don’t know; what landmarks to look for to know what direction you’re heading. The water tower is east of town and the mountains are to the south. Not that you can see it but there is a river to the west. I have never been too far north so I don’t know what’s up there.”
Megan was holding onto every word; she wanted to venture out but did not want to get lost in the process. His run of information soon dried up as he started talking about managing the dorm. She soon found herself fighting off yawn after yawn.
“I’m so sorry it was an early day today and I’m beat.” The day had gotten away from them as he shared valuable information with her and some not so valuable information. Now it was later than she had wanted and did not know if she would make it out to look at apartments. She failed to stifle yet another yawn.
“No I’m sorry I love my job and when I get someone who’ll listen I can go on and on.”
She did not consider her daydreaming as listening but she got some information out of him; so she was okay with the small price she had to pay. They walked back to the dorm. She bid him a good evening and ran up the stairs. She slowed as she reached her room, unlocked the door and entered. She stifled the scream that was about to escape her lips when she realized who the figure was in her room.
She charged at him. “You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here? How did you get in?”
“Why so many questions?” He grabbed her by the waist and before she could say anymore, he quieted her as he placed his lips on hers. He kissed her passionately, slowly caressing her back and moving his hands to her breasts. “I missed you so much.” He ripped off her shirt, picked her up and put her on her bed.
The energy Mark had drained from her was back with the fiery force of Michael’s passion. She had not realized how much she had missed him and yet something deep down was telling her this was wrong and she teared up at the thought.
He rolled off her. “Hey, hey what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? The sound of his voice, a sound she always welcomed, made her burst into tears. He lay there holding her, letting her cry. When she seemed to quiet he spoke.
“Hey what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I was thinking about how much I had missed you and then…I don’t know.” She started to cry again. “This isn’t right, I shouldn’t be here. I feel like I’m betraying someone or something. I’m sorry. It’s been a long week. I just spent three boring hours with Mark. I’m just being foolish.”
He knew that it was possible that she was not being foolish but he did not want to lose what he had as selfish as he knew it was; the best way to keep her safe was to keep her close.
“Do you want me to leave?” He tried to hide the disappointment in his voice.
“No, no I want you to stay. Just hold me.” She snuggled close to him feeling his heart beat against her cheek and she fell asleep.
She opened her eyes, lying still trying to remember where she was. Something did not feel right. She closed her eyes and visualized where she thought she should be. She was home in bed. No, that was not right; she was in her room at the resort. She took a deep breath and tried to remember the room but she could not. She remembers jumping like a child on the king sized bed. She was not on a king sized bed; in fact, she was not on a bed at all. She stretched out her hand and could only feel a cold floor. Had she passed out in her room? No, the floor in her room had carpet. She opened her eyes again and looked around the room. She was in a small dimly lit concrete room that was no more than four feet wide and maybe eight feet long. She had been lying on the cold bare floor; the blankets she vaguely remembers reaching for did not exist. She sat up to have a better look around, her head pounding. The gray sweat pants and t-shirt were tight and uncomfortable.
“What the hell is going on here?” She asked herself. A sickening feeling was settling deep within the pit of her stomach. She wished her head would explode already to take the pressure off that was pushing on her skull. She reached up to hold her pulsating head. With each brush of her hand, she wished her hair to be there. Her heart was beating faster. Why had they shaved her head? She tried to understand what was going on.
“It’s a bad dream that’s all.” She said it aloud hoping to wake herself up from this nightmare. When tha
t did not work, she shouted.
“Wake up, wake up!”
“WAKE UP!” Megan shouted aloud.
“Megan, wake up.” Michael shook her awake. “Megan, it’s just a dream.”
She grabbed a hold of him and held tight. “I don’t know where I was. It was cold, the room was like a prison cell and someone had cut all my hair off.” She reached up now and rubbed her short patchy hair. Her hair never grew in right since her accident, so she kept it short and wore a wig.
“It was just a dream. You are safe here with me.” Michael held her tighter, trying to calm her. He did not let go until her shaking had stopped and she appeared to be sleeping again. He rolled over and wondered how long it would take before it all came back.
Chapter Thirteen
The sun was shining in the winder as she stirred awake. Where was she? She closed her eyes trying to remember. The smell of coffee intrigued her and she forced her eyes open and sat up.
“Well good morning sleeping beauty. Did you sleep well?” Michael stood above her holding a tray of food.
“Hey,” Megan sat up and looked around the room. Now she remembered it was her first morning in her new apartment. Michael had stopped by with dinner and a fall bouquet of flowers the night before and stayed her first night with her.
“Well this is nice, breakfast in bed. Where did you get the food?” She had not had a chance to go shopping for groceries. It took them all day to move what little furniture she had been able to collect. Mark had some issues with her moving out. He tried telling her she had to give notice but Michael told her that was not true. He was not loosing anything by her moving out, so notice was not necessary. He even followed her to her new apartment, which is why Michael insisted on spending the night. Not that he had to insist. The pace of their relationship was picking up. Megan had vowed the day she got the results of her sleep study that she was not holding off on starting a new life and the more she spent time with Michael the less she thought of what her other life may have been. She pushed away any doubts or bad feelings she felt. Michael was her new life if he would have her.
“I went to the store and picked up a few things and threw it all together.” He seemed impressed with himself.
“Really?” Megan took a closer look. He had burned the toast and she thinks there were eggs somewhere on the plate. “It…um…well it looks great.” She smiled and they both burst into laughter.
He pulled the tray of food away. “Let’s go out and grab a bite; my treat.” She threw on some clothes and they walked the sort distance to Patsy’s Diner. After breakfast, they stopped at the store and Megan grabbed some food to cook dinner for that night.
“I’ll show you how it is done so pay attention and maybe you’ll learn something.”
“Really you can learn to cook. I just didn’t think that was possible so I never asked.” He pulled her close to him.
“You need to learn so you can cook me breakfast in bed, the right way next time.” She snuggled into his chest.
“Well excuse me, I would’ve eaten it. I didn’t realize I was cooking for a princess.” He kissed her tenderly. They reached the register and she paid for her items. They walked out hand-in-hand each one carrying a bag and headed back to her apartment. As she reached her door, she pulled out her key and dropped the bag she was carrying. Before Michael could reach for it, a blonde little boy ran up and grabbed the bag.
“Excuse me miss, you dropped your bag.” His sweet voice rang out.
Megan froze. She could not speak. She just kept looking at him. She wanted to reach out and pull him tight to her.
Michael stepped in, “Thanks little man. That was kind of you.”
“You’re welcome sir.” His sweet voice responded as he skipped away.
“Here give me the key.” He took the key from Megan, unlocked the door and guided her into the room.
“Are you okay?” His voice was full of concern and fear.
“Yes. That boy, he reminded me of someone. Did I have a child?” She was getting excited at the thought then sank into the couch.
“Why?” She sobbed. “Why has no one come looking for me? If I had a child... Why?”
He did not know why. He did not understand how she was feeling. He never lost his memory. He played the game for his survival. He longed to see his mom and dad, and little sister but fate had led him here for a reason. When he realized she was the reason he could not leave. Now he stayed more out of love than fate and he would see this through to the end; whatever the end may be.
For weeks, since the little boy, Megan was having thoughts and images of what she hoped were memories of her old life. Michael was afraid that one day the flood gates would open and she would remember everything. That day would not be a good day but a day that would come no doubt. He hid the knowledge he had of this place to ensure her safety. He only knew how he got here and assumed her story was similar. He also knew they would never let her leave. For this reason, he had to do something about how her memories came out. Most of all he had to be careful about how he did it.
He had tried explaining to her the reason for her flashbacks but she could not understand what he was saying about another life. She always knew there was something in her past but her accident made it impossible for her to remember. She could not understand or she did not want to believe that this was not an accident.
She kept a journal as Dr. Howe had told her to do. However, when Michael found out, he insisted she not share it with the doctor like they had asked her. He told her not to keep a journal or if she felt she should because the doctor expected one, to make the stories far from what her dreams really where. When Megan disagreed with him hoping the doctor would be able to help piece her past together, he told her he had something that he hoped would explain everything. She had to promise not to react. He begged her if he went through with this that she had to promise to be strong. The consequences for both of them would be dire if she reacted in the wrong way.
“I promised you that I would help you but only when the time was right.” He stood in front of her, his hands on her shoulders. “Here let’s sit down.” He pulled her down to the couch. He pulled a box out from his jacket pocket.
Her hands were shaking. In them, she held the small square box Michael had handed her. It was plain white with a sticker on the side she touched each word as she read them. “Louise Gilab, AKA Megan Strauss. Louise Gilab, I know that name.”
She opened the box carefully, slowly. Her hands were shaking. The lid came off a little too easy and she quickly closed her eyes. Was she ready for whatever there was to see? She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, and opened her eyes. The tears flowed and the sobs came uncontrollably. You hear when people die their lives flash before their eyes. Louise knew she was not dead but her life before Megan came flooding back.
Her precious boys; the first thing in the box was a picture of her boys. She remembers taking this picture at the beach. How many summers ago was that? It was her favorite picture of them and she always carried it with her even though they were a few years older now. She missed them so much, her heart aching, she wanted to cry out. How could she have ever forgotten them, they were her everything. She sat on the bed holding the picture to her heart, sobbing.
She did not know how long she had sat there; her shirt was soaked with tears. She looked at the picture again, burning it into her mind. She swore that no matter what, she would not forget them again. She looked at the other items in the box and now realized this was her box of some of her personal items that she had on her when she was at the resort. Tucked neatly in the box were her driver’s license, fifty dollars cash, a lone key, car keys, and her wedding ring. How was Arlin handling all of this? Had he given up on finding her? She had forgotten about Arlin, about being married.
She now remembered the last night they had spent together before she had left for the resort. He had taken her in his arms; his eyes were full of sorrow. She wondered now if he had had a sense that someth
ing would go wrong. The guilt now took over, how could she have betrayed him like that? Her relationship with Michael will now have to end. A fresh wave of tears started to flow again as she realized, as Megan she had fallen in love with Michael and as Louise she will have to let him go. She only hoped Michael would understand and continue to help her.
Michael had told her he would have to return the box by that afternoon but she was not ready to let go of it yet. All she wanted was to sit there all day and just look at those precious faces. She had to get back to them. Did they miss her? What did they think happened to her? A fresh wave of tears started to flow again as she felt their hearts break at the word of her disappearance. No matter what it took, she was going to get back to them. She had to be smart about this and do it right. If they had went to such extremes to erase her memory of her past life they would surely kill her before letting her even attempt to escape. As much as she wanted to leave now, she needed to know more about what this place was and what resistance she could come up against when she left. Michael had been right to warn her. She will be ready, not to react but to act when the time was right. She put everything back in the box and handed it back to Michael.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He had sat patiently in the chair across the room from her while she looked through the box knowing that it had all coming flooding back to her. She did not speak but got up from the couch and went into the bathroom. She stood there holding the cold cloth to her face. She took deep breathes to calm herself before she spoke.
“Did you know all along?” She walked out of the bathroom and sat back on the couch.
“Yes and no.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know how I got here and I know why they kept me here. But I didn’t know how or why you’re here?”
“So is Michael Dawson your real name?”
“No. My real name is Jordan Kohl.”
“Jordan Kohl. You look more like a Jordan than a Michael.” She laughed. “I don’t really remember how I got here but I think it had something to do with the resort I stayed at prior to finding myself here. They tried brainwashing me but I fought against them. Arlin used to get mad at me for all the books I read but it was because of those books that I recognized what they were trying to do to me. They came for me one day and I knew it was not going to end well for me.” She ran to the bathroom and vomited in the toilet. “Vince, I knew it.”