I smiled, feeling a blush return to my cheeks. I wanted to stay up and talk to him the rest of the night. However, I was very tired, and I was starting to feel something for him that I needed to ignore. The last thing I needed was to become infatuated with the “gift” Dana Christenson had given my family.
He leaned forward and kissed my forehead and then backed away, his hands leaving me as I stood, shocked and giddy.
“Please, get some sleep, Lily,” he said, the sound of my name on his lips sounding like honey. I melted again and turned away so he could not see my blush. I walked out the door, fumbling with the key to lock the door again, accidentally making it louder than I wanted. I threw one last look at him before I went to my room smiling, my heart thumping against my ribs.
With every ounce of sincerity and relief that I felt in my entire being, I whispered something over my shoulder that I hoped he heard.
“Thank you.”
* *** *
“I love the taste of your tears…”
The words ran up my spine like spiders. I turned quickly to the side of my bed and there was Dana. However, I was not in my room. I was lying in some foreign bed, nothing distinct about the white walls surrounding us.
“Wh…where am I?” I barely managed to breathe, finding myself unable to sit up, despite how much I struggled to get out of the vulnerable position.
Dana leaned forward, crawling toward me. I felt my heart begin to thrum in terror as the look in his eyes showed me he was interested in some dangerous play.
“Where do you want to be?” he asked suggestively, placing one knee on either side of my hips as his hands rested near my shoulders.
He swooped down, kissing me hard. I struggled, trying to get away, yet finding no strength in my arms as I flailed pathetically on the bed under him.
He sat back on my hips, unbuttoning the jacket of his three-piece suit. My eyes widened and my panic turned to terror.
“No…”
“I’ll sway you…” he promised darkly. His hands drifted down his body to rest on his thighs as he looked me over, smiling. “I told you, Little Lily, I don’t like to share.”
“G-get off me.” I struggled against his weight, but he just smiled triumphantly. He placed one finger against my lips.
“Now, be a good little pet,” he cooed. “I told you, I don’t like to share. And since you fucked that angel, I have no choice but to punish you.”
“What?” I snapped, my eyes flying wide. “We didn’t! I swear!”
“That’s not what he said…” Dana sang. “Then again, I guess he would say anything if I inflicted enough pain.” Dana leaned forward and winked. “Why don’t we check anyway?”
“No!” I screamed. I started kicking, trying to fight him off. I felt his large hands on my ribcage, tearing my top away. I screamed louder, my arms and legs flailing, weak and heavy.
Dana started laughing as his hands went to the waistband of my sweatpants.
“No! No!” I screeched. “This isn’t happening!” I cried. “This can’t be happening! You’re not here!”
“Feel me, Little Lily,” his voice said in my ear as I covered my face, trying to get rid of the scene. “Do you feel this? That is from me. You cannot run from this…”
“No! No!!”
“Lily!”
“No!”
“Lily! Wake up!”
I snapped awake, sweating and breathless, my eyes moving wildly. I was in my room, my mom sitting on the bed, looking me over worriedly. Dex was at the window, watching curiously.
“Honey, what’s wrong? What happened?” my mother asked, pressing her hand to my forehead. “Are you alright?”
It took me several long moments to get my heart out of my throat. I turned to her and almost spilled the entire story of last night—I barely refrained. My parents had been fighting all week, mostly about the Commission and Mykail, and the situation we had fallen into. There was no need for me to make the situation even more complicated.
I shook my head and swallowed hard.
“I’m fine,” I assured. “I just…I had a nightmare…”
“Oh, honey…” My mother ran her hand over my hair. “I know that things have been very stressful lately, but, you know, maybe this will work out. We just have to keep thinking positively, right?”
“Right,” I responded. Oh, Mom, you have no idea how bad things are getting.
“I was thinking we would all go out for lunch today,” my mother said with a wary smile. “Your father found a restaurant he would like to take us to.”
“Sure,” I agreed, not really processing the suggestion.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said too quickly.
“Okay,” my mother said, not pressing further.
She left my room and I sighed, running my hands through my hair.
I was starting to dream about Dana. Fantastic.
I got dressed, trying not to think about the dream, the night before, or that there was a Commission meeting in twelve short hours. I started to feel myself spiral into a dark place inside of me that I had never been to before.
Then I thought of Mykail. He was probably downstairs eating breakfast with the rest of the family. I was thankful that I was able to talk with him last night…or had that been a dream, too?
I wrapped my arms around myself, remembering the hug…him wiping away my tears…the gentle kiss on my forehead…
No, it had been real.
I sat at my desk, thinking about Mykail. What I had felt with him was not overpowering physical impulses, as with Dana. It was a deeper connection, one that felt sincere. And yet, I was terrified of Dana, and the power he had was overshadowing the beautiful feelings between Mykail and me.
I cradled my head in my hands, fighting the frightened tears.
I took a deep breath, running my hands through my still-tangled hair. I had to remain calm. I had to find a way out, or I would lose my mind. I could not give in to Dana. I could not let him win.
I glanced at the sketchpad on my desk, covered by my binder and copy of An Angel Without Wings. My brain clicked in a profoundly frightening way.
I grabbed my sketchpad and flipped the pages quickly to the picture of the angel flying above the clouds, holding his banner high.
The position of defiance, of rallying others while dressed in battered armor, suddenly took on an entirely new, powerful meaning.
I glanced at my copy of An Angel Without Wings, and then back at the picture.
I removed the page from my sketchbook and took a piece of paper from my binder, writing a quick message before sneaking into Mykail’s open and vacant room to slip the sketch and message under his pillow, where my mother and father could not see it. I was worried what they would think if they saw the message: “Maybe you can lead the next revolution. I’ll stand with you.”
But I knew Mykail would understand.
Chapter Nineteen
Even though my father took us out to lunch and we enjoyed the warm weather and good food, it was obvious none of us could get our minds off the way our lives had changed. My thoughts were jumbled, frightened…I had seen and experienced a lot in the last day and I was starting to wonder if I would ever not be in constant fear. It was amazing that I had not completely lost my mind already.
My current composure was thanks to Mykail.
If I hadn’t spoken to him and told him everything that had happened to me, I probably would be unable to function.
“Lily?” my mom called my attention.
“Huh?” I quickly looked up, realizing that I had been spacing out when she asked me something.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” my mom pressed.
“Yes,” I said quickly. “Sorry, I was just spacing out. What did you say?”
“Your father says that he might be asked to go abroad for a meeting with the Prime Minister of the Great United Kingdom,” she said, obviously not convinced that I was alright. “If
we end up having to go, would you be alright in the house alone for a week or longer?”
“Oh, yeah, sure.” It wasn’t uncommon for my parents to go on long trips, leaving me home. When I was much younger, they would take me with them, but when I turned fifteen, they let me stay home alone, knowing I was bored on the political trips.
“That means that you would be in charge of Mykail,” my father said. “Can you handle taking care of him?”
“Yeah, I’m sure I can,” I assured. “Um…has Mykail said anything to either one of you?”
“Said anything?” my father repeated, confused.
“No, honey. He doesn’t talk,” my mother laughed.
I dropped the question.
After lunch I began to think about the rapidly passing hours before the Commission meeting. My mother asked me to help her sort some of my father’s papers in an attempt to distract both of us, but I only wanted to see Mykail and ask him if what happened the previous night had been real, worried it had been a dream.
I used the age-old excuse of children needing to get out of tasks assigned by their parents.
“I’m going to go do my homework.”
I stopped at the top of the back stairs, glancing behind me to be sure that no one was within earshot.
“Karen?” my father called from somewhere distant in the large house.
“Yes?”
“Where is my tie from Thursday?”
“It should be in your tie drawer!” my mom called.
I heard her heels move over the hardwood floor to the main stairs.
I stepped to Mykail’s room and found him sitting on his bed, staring at the wall, bored. When he saw me, he quickly stood.
“Mykail,” I whispered. “Please tell me that I did not imagine our conversation last night.”
“Of course you didn’t imagine it,” he hissed, coming to the bars. I heaved a sigh of relief and leaned my head against the cool metal, relieved that I wasn’t losing my mind.
“Lily,” he started, “did you mean it?”
“Mean what?”
“The note,” he dropped his voice so low I had to strain to hear him. I looked into the amazing blue eyes and slowly nodded, unable to speak immediately. He looked at the floor and then slowly moved his hands through the bars toward me. I hesitantly placed my hand in his. He squeezed my fingers tenderly, an absolutely beautiful smile spreading across his face, making my heart stop.
“Thank you,” he said gently. He pulled my hand through the bars and dropped his head to kiss it. My breath caught in my throat and my heart melted.
When his lips finally left my hand, I found myself wanting the contact and affection. I wanted to feel something other than fear when someone was close to me.
He released my hand and I pulled it back reluctantly.
“Go,” he said. “We’ll talk tonight when your parents are asleep.”
“Why don’t you want to talk to them?”
He looked away, shaking his head.
“It’s complicated,” he breathed. “Tonight.”
“…alright,” I agreed.
* *** *
The elevator descended into the basement far too quickly. My stomach was doing so many somersaults I was sure that it would soon knot itself up enough to kill me.
I had to face him again tonight. There was no avoiding it.
The doors slid open and we stepped into the dim hallway, moving into the meeting room, which was already abuzz with conversations.
We stepped further into the room and I immediately searched for Brian and the others who had attacked me outside of Archangel, though I did not see them. I wondered what had happened once Sean and the others had caught them. A horrible thought entered my mind that Dana had taken them into the Commission and was going to make them test subjects. Even though they had assaulted me, I didn’t wish that horrific fate on anyone.
I mentally slapped myself, knowing I was taking things to the extreme. Sean had said that the police were notified and so were the parents. They were going through legal channels.
Then again, it was Dana Christenson…
My family found our spot and my father and mother started talking to another member of the Commission as I warily looked for the boys, surprised to find myself wanting to see them just to be sure that Dana had not taken them.
When I started to get frantic, I saw Freddie walk in with his parents and younger sister.
I heaved a breath of relief and quickly hid so that Freddie would not see me.
I caught sight of Clark’s mother near the front of the room, talking to Sean. I made my way over, venturing out of the large group of people, drawing off of every ounce of bravery I had to cross the expanse of the room toward the two adults.
I stepped closer, waiting to be seen before speaking.
“I understand,” Mrs. Markus said.
“That is what Dana told me,” Sean murmured with a shrug. He turned to me. “Good evening, Miss Sandover.”
“Good evening, Sean,” I returned the greeting.
“Hello, Lily,” Mrs. Markus said with a smile. For some reason, it was difficult for me to look her in the eye, knowing that she and Dana were having an affair and she had no idea what Dana did to her son. It was uncomfortable knowing such intimate information about the Markus family. “How are you tonight?”
“I’m doing well, Mrs. Markus, thank you,” I said. “I was wondering if Clark is alright. I didn’t see him at all last night at Archangel.” I tried to keep the trembling out of my voice.
“He’s alright,” Mrs. Markus assured with a light laugh. “He was very busy with a school project and he ended up falling asleep around six. He hasn’t slept in days, poor thing.”
“Is he here tonight?”
“Yes, he was talking to Dana a little earlier,” Mrs. Markus answered. I forced a smile.
“Thank you.” I started to walk away.
“Lily,” Mrs. Markus called. “Thank you for being so good to my son,” she said with a sincere smile. I felt pain twinge in my belly. She cared about Clark, but she had become so blind that she could not see that Dana was molesting him. “I know he’s a little awkward, but he is a good boy. I’m glad that you two are friends.”
I wanted to tell her right then and there the truth about Dana and what he had been doing to Clark, but I remained quiet, understanding that even if she did know, it would only complicate things further. I was beginning to wonder if everyone in the Commission was keeping quiet about something for the exact same reason.
“You’re welcome…” I said awkwardly.
I returned to my parents, knowing that, if I was around them, I would be safe from the boys who had attacked me the previous night.
I watched the door and the clock, waiting for Clark. I wanted to tell him everything, even about Mykail telling me that he wanted to kill Dana. I had a feeling that Clark would be thrilled about the idea of finding an escape from the psychotic man who ran the Commission of the People, and might even be able to help.
However, the doors closed before Clark entered the room.
Mrs. Markus called the meeting to order as I looked around worriedly.
“Now our leader, Mr. Dana Christenson, has an announcement to start the meeting.”
Everyone started clapping and, just like that, Dana appeared behind me, walking forward, his fingers lightly brushing my hair as he swept past.
Mrs. Markus stepped out of the way as Dana ascended the platform.
“I now give license to start the meeting,” he said. “I would like to start this meeting with a very important reminder for all of you.” He turned to one of the men sitting at the side of the room, working on a larger computer. “Kenneth, this is in the meeting. This will go on record.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Now,” Dana started, his voice dangerous, “tonight, I will not mention names, but there is something very serious that everyone in this commission needs to be aware of. We are the secret police of Centr
al. It is our job to keep the population of America happy and safe, and we achieve this by bringing in criminals and the corrupt.” Dana’s shaded eyes rested on me and a shiver ran through my body. “However, that does not mean that we are exempt from the rules. Recently, there was an attack on one of our younger members by other young members of this commission. These people know who they are, and the youngsters are going to take responsibility for their actions, but the blame rests with the rest of you as well, especially the parents.
“You cannot allow the children of this commission to become the criminals that we take in. You were all brought into this group because you are extremely smart and understand the intricacies of working with other people and countries. Do not make the mistake of thinking that this will keep your children safe from the Commission’s rules. If I find one more instance of such behavior, the offending children will be taken into the back, and that will be the last we hear of them. Do I make myself clear?”
Everyone in the Commission of the People was silent, unsure if there was a correct response to the declaration.
“Understand that this is not just about the future of this commission. This is about the future of America. Each one of these children is already a part of one of the most powerful institutions in the world, but that does not mean they can forget what this institution does, and the task it must accomplish.
“Therefore, parents, I must order this of you. When you are at home with your children, raise them to be upstanding, but obedient and Dana-fearing children, because I will have no qualms taking your children and turning them into whatever the fuck I want. When they are here in the commission room, they are not your children, they are your colleagues. If they are committing crimes, you are obligated to report them, just as we are obligated to take them.”
No one dared to speak.
“For example,” Dana smiled, starting to spin the pocket watch in his hands, “take a page out of Tommy Sandover’s book,” he pointed to us. The entire room turned. “His older brother harbored criminals over the border for years as part of the group ‘The Coalition,’ which some of you may’ve heard of. Even though they were family, they called him in to the Commission, and another threat to our now-stable society was removed.”
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