by Mike Shevdon
"I was using the mirror," I tried to explain. "Something went wrong."
Garvin appeared at Fionh's shoulder. He surveyed the room and then entered. "So you decided to try and find her anyway?"
"Blackbird thinks she's not mad, and I agree with her."
"And if she is?"
"If she is, I'll deal with it."
"You told me earlier that you couldn't. You weren't lying."
"I'm not lying now, either."
"What changed your mind?"
"I'm her father, Garvin. I needed to remember that. I'll do what needs to be done, but she's not mad."
"You don't know that."
"Neither do you." It was stalemate.
Into the room bustled an old man. I had seen no one that old among the Feyre. Fionh moved out of his way, as did Garvin. He carried a dustpan and brush and offered his hand to lead me gently from the wreckage of the mirror.
"Mr Garvin, would you be kind enough to ask Mr Dogstar not to break any more of the furnishings if he could manage that?" he said. He went down to his knees and began carefully sweeping up glass. There was no sarcasm in the comment.
"I will make sure he gets the message, Mullbrook." He looked at me and I nodded my assent. "Are our guests' rooms ready?"
"I have put them in the east wing where I hope that Miss Blackbird will find the morning sunshine to her liking," he said. "The beds should be aired by now and there's plenty of hot water. If you wouldn't mind showing them where their rooms are, I have some clearing up to do."
"I'll show them," Garvin said.
We were ushered out ahead of Garvin while Mullbrook remained, carefully sweeping up the debris. I was about to say something to Garvin when he held his fingers to his lips. It wasn't until we had ascended the main staircase and turned through the double doors on the landing that he spoke.
"Mullbrook has ears like a bat," Garvin commented, "So just be aware that he will overhear anything you say."
"Is that a problem?"
"No. He's absolutely loyal and the soul of discretion. I just don't want you upsetting him. This place runs like clockwork and that is largely due to him. If you offend him we may end up having kidneys for breakfast for a week."
I glanced towards Blackbird, who had turned slightly green.
"Kidneys?"
"Or tripe. Tripe is a favourite when he's upset."
"For breakfast?"
"Just don't offend him, and try not to break anything else. This is his home as much as it is anyone's and you're his guest."
"Who is he?"
"He's the chief steward. He looks after the house and makes sure that everything runs as it should."
"He's not fey, is he?" said Blackbird.
"No. He's quite human, but he's served the Feyre for most of his life and even the High Council pay attention to him, so don't upset him. He'll look after you while you're here. If you need anything, just ask and it will be provided. There are other staff too. Try not to get in their way."
He stopped outside a double doorway, opened one of the doors and ushered Blackbird in before him. I followed behind. Inside was a suite of rooms: a sitting room with a fire laid ready to light, a bedroom with one of the biggest beds I've ever seen. The deep red coverlet had been drawn back and the quilt turned back on each side, exposing white cotton sheets. Through another door there was a marble-tiled bathroom with a huge double-ended bath.
"This is sumptuous, Garvin," said Blackbird.
"Thank Mullbrook. He thinks you need looking after."
I went to the tall French windows, discovering a small balcony with views out over the valley. The light had faded, leaving the landscape scattered with pinpoint lights under moonlit clouds. I turned back to Garvin.
"You can't ask me not to look for her."
"I could, but I'm not going to. I'm asking you not to look for her now, not from here. You've already compromised one location. I don't know whether that stunt you pulled downstairs was your idea or Blackbird's." He looked from me to her, then back to me. "But you swore to protect the High Council, Dogstar, and if you bring the sort of attention that you brought to your last house here, you will be breaking your vows."
"I'll go somewhere else, then. I can't leave her there. I'm her father, dammit!"
"You're not listening, and you're not thinking either. What do you think is going to happen? She called you Daddy. Do you think they won't make the connection? They'll be looking for you everywhere. They will go to Katherine, to your parents, to your friends, your old addresses, anyone who knows you. They will build up a profile of your habits, your likes and dislikes, your loves and hates, your strengths and weaknesses. They will seize your bank accounts, trace your credit cards, interview your friends, grill your enemies. They will want to know as much as they can before they come looking for you."
"Let them come. I'm ready for them."
"No, you're not. This isn't the first time that the Feyre and mankind have come into conflict and one thing you can say for humanity is that they learn. As far as they are concerned you are a threat to security. You'll be on every terrorist list, every warning screen. They will use everything at their disposal. They will monitor CCTV, intercept communications, watch your house, your friends, your family. When they find you they will come armed with guns loaded with soft iron bullets specifically designed to kill fey. You're a threat to them and they will want you dead."
I looked to Blackbird, but she just shrugged, confirming his words.
"You're crashing around like a pig at a goose fair and it'll get you nowhere. They will block you at every turn, anticipate your every move, and wait for their opportunity to eliminate the threat. Am I getting through?"
"I can't leave her there. I just can't."
"If you'd come to me, we might have been able to steal her from them before they realised what we were doing. Now you've kicked the hornet's nest there's no chance. If you want to rescue her you are going to need help. We are the Warders. We watch each other's backs. We look after our own and even though you are not a full Warder yet, that still includes you. You have taken the oath, you are sworn to protect the council. I want to help you, Niall, but I have other things on my plate and in case you haven't noticed, you and Blackbird are homeless. I would have thought that concern for your unborn son was high on your list."
"You don't need to remind me."
"Don't I? Were you thinking of Blackbird and your son when you froze an entire forest?"
"That was different. I didn't intend…"
"Whether you intended to or not, the effect was the same. You want Alex back. I understand, and I will help you. But right now you're just making it worse – worse for you, worse for Blackbird and worse for Alex."
I turned back to the view across the valley. I could feel the need to do something like a knot between my shoulder blades. He was right, though. I had messed this up badly.
I turned back. "When? When will you help me?"
Garvin looked at the ceiling. "What do you want me to do, Niall? Make you an appointment?"
"How long…" The knot was getting tighter. "How long does she have to stay there?"
"You will get one chance at this, Niall. If you do it wrong you will either end up captive yourself or you will force them to dispose of Alex."
"Dispose! What do you mean, dispose?" I was shouting.
His voice was calm in the face of my anger. "You know perfectly well what I mean. If you back them into a corner you will force them to make a decision. Eliminating the risk is an option. You getting angry won't change that, it will only make it worse. Right now she's useful to them and while she's useful they will look after her. It's not perfect but it's the best alternative for the meantime."
"You said that before. You said I should leave her there."
"I was trying to persuade you not to antagonise them any further. It's bad enough as it is."
"You're asking me to sit on my hands and wait."
"There is plenty you can
do. You can complete your training, for a start. Even basic tactics should tell you that you learn everything you can about your target before you make contact. Discover their weaknesses, assess their resources, watch their tactics. Find out about them while they're finding out about you. You've been learning, Niall, but it's been slow. You haven't pushed yourself beyond what you think you're capable of. Now you have an incentive."
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He was talking sense. I needed to do this once and do it right.
"When can we start?"
"We can start tomorrow. Tonight you need some rest and to think about what I said."
"Very well, but we start tomorrow."
"Food will be brought up to you. The council are meeting tonight, so stay in your rooms and keep your heads down. They'll be gone by the morning and we can start extending your training. Until then, no more experiments, OK? Get some rest. You'll need a clear head tomorrow." He turned and left, closing the doors quietly behind him.
I stayed looking out at the darkened countryside while Blackbird inspected the room. Our clothes had been carefully hung up in separate wardrobes and our personal belongings sequestered in chests and drawers. Someone had done our moving in for us.
I felt Blackbird's hand on my back, stroking softly downwards. "The important thing is that you haven't lost her."
"I haven't got her back, either."
"You will."
"Yes. I will."
"Want a bath? I could do with it. We both smell of smoke."
"OK. You go ahead."
"It's big enough for two."
I turned and there was a hesitancy there. I thought about what she had said while we sat on the sofa, about pushing her away and keeping her at a distance. I wondered how much she was hurt by that.
"Is it big enough for three?" I asked.
There was just a hint of a smile as she stroked her hand down over her tummy. "He doesn't mind sharing."
We ran a deep bath with lots of bubbles and sank into the water, filling the bathroom with steam. The warmth of the water eased my tired muscles and I was able to relax a little for the first time since the news about Alex. Closing my eyes, I found myself going through what had happened again in my head, until Blackbird leaned forward and took a scoop of bubbles, clapping her hands together in front of my nose so that they exploded in my face.
I spluttered, wiping away the foam.
"You're doing it again," she said.
"Right," I said. "In that case…" I caught her foot from under the water and tickled her toes as she splashed and wriggled, persisting until she begged for mercy, claiming that I would make the baby ticklish. We called a peace and she soaped my back and then I hers. Finally she got out and sat on the stool to get dry. I washed my hair to rid myself of the last of the smoky taint then pulled the drain plug.
Once dry I took the body butter that I had bought in a moment of paternal inspiration and rubbed it into her stretched belly, smoothing it over her pale skin and easing it into the stretch marks. The baby liked this as he moved around at first and then settled, letting Blackbird relax under my hand.
I was only allowed to put the balm away after I had massaged it into her feet and hands as well and then rubbed her back and shoulders.
"I should make you do that every day. It was wonderful."
"I live to serve, Mistress," I told her.
She punched me gently in the buttock, but some of the tiredness had gone out of her and I began to wonder if I should do exactly that.
"I'll go see if I can rustle us up something to eat," I told her.
I opened the bathroom door, then closed it again as I realised that our needs had been anticipated again. There was a young woman standing in our room with a trolley. I grabbed a towelling robe from the back of the door and wrapped it quickly around me, then slipped through the gap where Blackbird was still naked behind me.
"Good evening. My name's Angela. Mullbrook sends his compliments and asks if you would like wine with your meal, or water, or something else perhaps?"
She was dressed in austere white cotton, her doublebreasted top buttoned up around her neck and an apron around her waist.
"Just water, if that's OK?"
"I'll leave you both still and sparkling."
She had already set out plates, cutlery and glasses. She took bowls and dishes from the trolley and set them out in measured symmetry while I wondered whether I should be giving her a tip. She saved a metal cover until last, lifting it with a flourish, revealing a bowl of lamb chops, long bones arrayed to form a many-pointed star. My mouth watered as the smell of rosemary and garlic reached me.
"I'll leave you to enjoy your meal. Leave the trolley outside the door when you have finished, if that's convenient for you."
"Of course." I echoed her words.
She bowed and reversed to the door, shutting it almost silently behind her.
"Can I come out?" It was Blackbird, peeping from the bathroom door. "You pinched my robe."
"She's gone now. Dinner's here."
"How long was she here?"
"Long enough to hear you trying to drown me in the bath, I think. We'll be the scandal of the lower stairs." I slipped the robe from my shoulders and eased her into it so that she could sit at the table and eat. I grabbed some clean pants and a shirt and joined her at the table.
"Would Madame like sparkling or still?"
"Don't. If they hear you they might be offended and I can't bear the thought of tripe."
I poured her still water as I knew the sparkling would give her gripes. Almost everything gave her gripes. That didn't stop her tucking into the chops though. She had stripped two down to the bones by the time I sat down.
"I could get used to this lifestyle, having people wash, cook and clean for me," I told her.
"You don't get much privacy, though, do you? Everyone's sifting through your smalls."
"It's a small price to pay for this sort of comfort."
"It'll make you lazy and fat. You don't want to be a lard tub, do you?"
"I don't think Garvin will allow that to happen." I had put on weight since starting Garvin's regime, but none of it was fat.
We settled into gentle conversation, avoiding the events of the day. The food was delicious, the chops still pink in the middle and complemented by crispy roast potatoes and steamed sugar snap peas. I ate sparingly, but Blackbird was apparently famished.
"Don't you like them?" Blackbird nodded to the remaining chops.
"I'm just tired. It's been a strange day."
She reached forward for another chop.
"You'll be complaining of heartburn in the night."
She retracted her hand, settling for sucking her fingers. "You're right. I won't sleep if I eat too much. Being pregnant makes me greedy."
I smiled at her, remembering the months when she had barely eaten and the very smell of cooked food had her running for a bucket.
We re-stacked the trolley and I left it outside the door. Then we went to bed, Blackbird curled under my arm, the bump resting against my hip. We were both tired and she was quickly asleep. I lay in the dark, the sound of her restful breathing easing my heart if not my mind. Once again, I found myself going back through the events of the past days, trying to figure out what I could have done. I thought about how they had misled me without lying to me, turned aside my demands for information with platitudes. Garvin was right, they knew what they were doing. They must have realised that if Alex was part fey then there was a chance that either Katherine or I was too. They had been ready and they had planned well.
What if they thought Katherine was fey too? They knew I had tried to contact Alex and would assume that she had gained her fey heritage from me, but that didn't mean Katherine wasn't fey too. They would look for signs in both parents, and while they were hunting for me, they would be watching her. Should I warn her? If I did, I would have to explain everything, just when she was starting to trust me again. It would be my f
ault that Alex had inherited fey blood and all the old wounds would reopen. If I didn't warn her, she would continue to act naturally and normally and they would leave her alone. It was probably better not to bring attention to her, but my conscience still pricked me with guilt. I was shying away from the real problem, which was telling Katherine the truth. I told myself it was for the best.
I thought of my daughter and where she might be. I thought of reaching out through the mirror in the room and searching for her, but I had promised not to. I would do as Garvin said and learn what I could about my daughter's kidnappers before I tested myself against them again. With that thought I drifted finally into sleep.
I knew it was a dream immediately. I had been here before. I shouldn't be here, though. The person who had brought me to this frozen glade was dead, killed by Blackbird's hand. The crisp pine needles, stiff with frost, crunched under my bare feet. The tree branches draped, the long needles dragging across my naked skin as I brushed past them. I knew where this path led.
The glade was empty when I reached it, but then it always was at first. I hesitated. She had caught me here before, leeching the warmth from my bones to feed on my life essence. How could she be here? She was dead. Another like her? There must be others. I turned around. The path behind me had vanished, the trees clustering closely where I had walked only moments ago.
I stepped into the glade where the sky opened into a black bowl pierced with crystal pinpricks. The stars never blinked here, no matter what evil transpired.
I turned around, half expecting to see a grey figure in a long dress: Solandre, the shade who had brought me here to feed on me. Nothing stirred. No wind brushed the pines, no animal crept in the dense brush. There was a noise, a distant banging. I turned, trying to locate the source. It shifted direction, coming first from behind me, then from the sides. Then I was awake.
The banging was coming from the door to our rooms.
Blackbird groaned. "Tell them we don't want any."
I slid out of bed, my skin chill in the darkness, and pulled on the white robe that Blackbird had used earlier.
The hammering repeated itself. "OK, I'm coming." I opened the door.
Tate was poised to resume hammering. "Garvin wants you downstairs, five minutes ago, dressed for combat," he said.