The usual unease and uncertainty rose up in Ben, just as it always had when Dad had been in residence behind the desk, but he clamped down on it, folded his ankle up on one knee and leant back, arms spread along the arms of the chair. Disrespectful and uncaring. Because Seb didn’t need good posture to know he had his respect, and his dad wasn’t there to care any more.
Neither is Luce.
‘Hell of a drive in,’ Ben said. ‘Hills are practically snowbound.’
Seb’s eyebrows pulled down into a frown. ‘This could have waited, you know. Until the weather cleared, at least.’
Ben shrugged. ‘Needed to get back anyway.’
With a knowing look, Seb settled back in his chair. ‘Ah. Time to let the latest girlfriend know she was only temporary, right? I’m just amazed you managed more than one night. Time to retire your rule at last?’
‘No,’ Ben said, shortly. ‘The rule stays. And it’s Christmas Eve. She had some family thing she had to get back for.’
Ben stared out of the window, trying to ignore the sense of wrongness that filled him when Seb talked about Luce as one of his girlfriends. Why did it feel so different? Hadn’t it followed the exact same pattern it always did? A bit of fun, discovering they were entirely different people, and then going their separate ways. Except this time they’d known just how different they were before they even went out to dinner. They’d wanted each other anyway.
Seb hadn’t said anything, Ben realised. When he drew his attention back to his brother he found Seb watching him, a contemplative look in his eye.
‘What?’ Ben asked, shifting to sit properly on the chair.
‘Nothing. Just...she was different? This girl?’
‘Luce,’ Ben said, automatically. ‘And I don’t know what you mean.’
‘You said she was an old friend,’ Seb clarified, and a sense of relief came over Ben.
‘Yeah. We knew each other in university. So what?’
‘Nothing,’ Seb said again.
Ben didn’t believe him. Time to change the subject. ‘So—come on. I’ve driven through snowstorms and London traffic to get here. What did you want to meet with me about?’
Seb blinked, tapping a pen against his desk as if trying to remember. Finally he said, ‘I’ve got a new job for you. If you’re interested.’
‘A “your mission, should you choose to accept it” type thing?’ He hoped so. Preferably something far away, completely absorbing and with no reminders of Luce. That sounded pretty much perfect.
‘Sort of.’ Seb sighed. ‘Look. I’m trying to find the right way to say this.’
‘Sounds ominous.’
‘I don’t want you thinking you’re not good at your job.’
‘I am excellent at my job,’ Ben said. ‘And since when do you worry about my ego?’
‘Since when do you take women to your cottage?’ Seb countered.
‘Just say it. Whatever it is.’
‘Okay. So... Although you are passably good at your job—’
‘Excellent at, I think I said.’
‘You don’t love it.’
Ben looked at his brother in surprise. ‘It’s a job, Seb. I don’t have to love it. I just have to do it.’
‘Maybe not. But I think you could love it.’
Things started to fall into place for Ben. ‘I know what this is. You’re worried that I’m still angry Dad left control of the business to you. I told you—I don’t want it. Too much responsibility for me. I like the travel. I like the money. I like making things happen. I don’t want to be stuck behind that desk for the rest of my life.’
‘Like you think I will be?’ Seb looked at him. ‘You think I’m going to turn into Dad.’
‘Not if you choose not to.’ Ben shrugged. ‘Besides, it’s different. You haven’t got a wife and kids like Dad did.’
‘Maybe I’d like to have those things, though. One day.’
‘Really?’ Ben shook his head. ‘Nah—can’t see it. You’ll sit there and manage the business, I’ll go out and about and make things happen, and neither of us will drag any kids from boarding school to hotel for their entire childhood. It’s all good.’
‘And that would be enough for you?’
‘Yeah. Of course it would. What are you thinking? That I need a private jet to make my life complete?’
‘Honestly? I think you need a home. I think you need someone to come home to. I know everything with Mum screwed up that ideal for you, and maybe it was easier for me, being away at boarding school already. But it wasn’t your problem to fix. You can’t fix problems, only situations. And, Ben, it’s time to move on. Time to grow up at last.’
But Seb hadn’t seen it. Hadn’t seen their mother falling apart day by day. He’d already been away, engrossed in school and friends and sport. He’d already moved on before Mum had.
Ben had been the only one there to try to make things right for her. And he hadn’t been able to.
‘I think you’re crazy.’ Pushing against the arms of the chair, Ben stood up. ‘And if that’s all you wanted to talk to me about—’
‘I haven’t finished.’ When Ben remained standing, Seb sighed. ‘Just sit down, Ben. I promise to stay on topic. Business only. Your shambles of a private life is your own.’
‘Yeah, like yours is any better,’ Ben grumbled. But he sat.
‘I’m working on it,’ Seb said with a lopsided smile.
‘Really? Am I missing something here? Did something happen while I was away?’
‘Business only, right?’ Seb grabbed a folder from the corner of his desk and handed it across to Ben.
Opening the file, Ben felt his heart lurch against his ribcage at the sight of the reception desk at the Royal Court Hotel, Chester. So much for a distraction from Luce. Slamming the folder shut, he said, ‘Been there. Done that. What’s next?’
‘I want you to go back.’
‘Why? It’s fine. It’s running well. I’ve made my recommendations for streamlining some processes, making things more effective. Other than that...’ He shrugged.
‘I want to try something new.’
Against his better judgement, curiosity welled up in Ben. Something new. Something different. That was something they’d never been able to do while their father was alive. He’d had an unalterable system. Buy the hotel, make it look and run like all the others in the chain, move on to the next project. Every time.
‘New how, exactly?’
Seb gave him a slow smile. ‘Knew that would catch your attention. Trust me, you’re going to like this plan.’
Ben wasn’t so sure about that. But he was willing to give his brother the benefit of the doubt. ‘Okay. I’m listening.’
* * *
Luce barely had time to toss her suitcase in her room before her phone rang. Glancing at the display, she saw it was her mother and let it go to voicemail. Sorry, Mum, but if you want dinner tonight you’ll have to wait for me to call you back.
Okay, it was almost five in the afternoon. Two hours until her guests arrived. Long enough to cook something fantastic if she had any food in the house—which, having missed her supermarket delivery, she didn’t. Long enough to clean and tidy the house if she didn’t have to do anything else—which she did. And long enough to make herself look presentable if she could bring herself to care what she looked like—which she couldn’t.
Collapsing into her favourite armchair, Luce pulled out her organiser and started her list. The most important thing about the evening was that it go well for Tom. After his break-up with Hattie, and the misery and depression that had followed, he’d not introduced them to a new girlfriend in two years. This was big. This was a turning point. Luce needed to make it as successful as she could. And pray that the turkey she’d yanked out of the freezer the moment she walked in defrosted in time for tomorrow.
Obviously at this stage a gourmet feast was out of the question. Instead Luce raided the corner shop for whatever was left at this point in the Christmas panic
buying—mostly mismatched canapés and mince pies. Halfway to the till she remembered to grab vegetables for the next day. She’d just have to hope she had enough of everything else in to make do.
The house itself wasn’t in too bad shape—after flinging everything that didn’t belong in the lounge, dining room or kitchen into the bedroom, Luce figured it would serve. Candles and cloth napkins on the table, lamps instead of overhead lights, and they were set to go.
Of course by that point it was seven, and she was still wearing the skirt and jumper she’d travelled home from Brecon in. A shower was out of the question, she supposed, but she’d hoped to at least change and put some make-up on. The ringing doorbell suggested she was out of luck.
‘Are you running late?’ Dolly asked, looking her up and down as she answered the door.
‘However did you guess?’ Luce ushered her sister in. ‘I just got back a couple of hours ago. You’re lucky I’m here at all.’
‘Tom’s lucky, you mean. I had plans for tonight, you know. This new girl of his had better be worth the effort. Does this mean you didn’t have time to make the chocolate pots?’
Luce glared, and Dolly held up her hands in self-defence. ‘Okay, okay. Next time. You go and get changed and I’ll get us something to drink. Is there wine in the fridge?’
‘As always,’ Luce called back as she went to try to excavate something from her wardrobe that didn’t need dry cleaning.
In the end the best option she had turned out to be the purple dress she’d worn to dinner with Ben in Chester. Luce tugged it on, trying not to notice the way his scent still clung to the fabric. Shoving her feet into low heels and pulling a cardigan over it made it feel a little less dressy—more suitable for a family occasion. And it matches the culinary sophistication level better. Or maybe I should put on jeans...
By the time she’d run a brush through her hair and thrown on the minimum amount of make-up her mother would let her get away with, the doorbell had rung twice and Luce could hear voices in the lounge, along with clinking glasses. ‘Showtime,’ she whispered to herself, and tried not to wish she was still at the cottage.
* * *
Five hours later, as Dolly watched her load the dishwasher while eating the leftovers she was supposed to be putting in the fridge, Luce had to admit it had been worth coming back for. Even with her mum’s pointed comments about the food.
‘Did you think she seemed nice?’ Dolly asked.
Since the others had already left, Luce didn’t bother hiding the surprise in her voice. ‘I did.’
Dolly laughed. ‘I know. I wasn’t sure whether to expect another monster, or what. But, no, she’s nice. A little bossy, maybe. It’ll be weird not having Tom here for Christmas Day, though.’
‘It will. But he seemed happy.’ That was by far the most important part. Tom hadn’t been remotely happy for a very long time.
‘He did.’
Dolly paused, and Luce looked up at her, forehead creasing.
‘You don’t.’
‘I’m fine,’ Luce lied.
Dolly boosted herself up onto the kitchen counter. ‘What happened this week?’
‘I went away. To a conference. And ended up taking a bit of a detour home, what with all the snow.’
‘And were you alone?’ Dolly pressed, eyebrows raised.
‘Not entirely.’ The memory of Ben kissing her against the castle wall invaded her mind and she bit her lip and tried to concentrate on her little sister, in the here and now.
‘I knew it! Who did you go with? Oh, no—it wasn’t Dennis, was it? That would explain why you’re so miserable.’
‘It was not Dennis,’ Luce said, with feeling. ‘Wait—I thought you liked Dennis?’
Dolly rolled her eyes. ‘Mum liked Dennis. And only because she thought he was what you wanted. Boring, staid and uneventful. But if you weren’t with Dennis...’
‘My train got cancelled and an old university friend offered me a lift home. We got stuck in the snow and holed up at a cottage in the hills for a couple of days.’ She shrugged. ‘That’s all.’
But Dolly wasn’t content to leave it at that. The same curiosity that drove Luce to discover the past had made her sister incurably nosy about the present. ‘And was this friend male or female?’
‘Does it matter?’
‘Yes!’ Dolly bounced down from the counter, her eyes bright and intense. ‘If you’re finally getting a life I want to know all about it. Hell, I want to throw a party in celebration.’
‘It’s not... There’s nothing to celebrate.’ Because she was probably never going to see Ben again.
Dolly’s mouth turned down at the corners, her eyes full of sympathy. ‘Do you want to—? Ooh, I bet that’s him!’ she interrupted herself as Luce’s phone rang.
‘I doubt it— Oh.’ Ben’s name flashed across the screen. Of course he’d have programmed his number in on one of the many occasions when he’d stolen her phone. No respect for personal boundaries, that man.
Dolly had already swept up her coat and bag and was halfway out through the door. ‘I’ll be along tomorrow for my Christmas dinner,’ she said with a wave.
Luce stared at the phone again. And then she pressed ‘answer’.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
IT WENT AGAINST all his usual rules about women and relationships, but Ben needed to talk to someone. And for some reason the only person he wanted to talk to was Luce.
He sprawled across his bed, waiting for her to answer, wondering if she would just ignore it. It was late, after all. Gone midnight. She might be asleep. Or maybe her dinner party was still going on. Maybe Dennis of the annoying e-mails was there. Maybe—
‘Hello?’
Maybe she would answer after all.
‘Hey. Merry Christmas. You okay?’
‘Happy Christmas to you, too.’ There was a rustle of fabric on the other end of the phone. Was she in bed? ‘I’m okay. Tired.’
‘How did dinner go?’ That was what you did, wasn’t it? When you wanted someone to stay in your life even if just as a friend? You asked about stupid things you didn’t care about.
‘You can’t tell me that you’re suddenly interested in my family gatherings after all the time you’ve spent maligning them this week.’
Luce’s voice was amused, but Ben could hear a sharper edge under it. He’d hurt her, even though he’d tried so hard not to.
‘No, not really.’ Ben sighed. ‘I just don’t understand why it was so much more important to you than...everything else.’
‘Because you never asked,’ Luce responded promptly.
She had a point. Unfortunately, he’d found, she usually did. ‘Okay, then, I’m asking. What was so important about this dinner?’
‘Hang on,’ she said.
Ben heard the click of her phone being put down somewhere. There was more rustling, then she picked up the phone again.
‘Were you just getting undressed?’ Ben asked, the image waking up his exhausted body instantly.
Luce gave a low laugh. ‘It’s gone midnight and I am more than ready to be out of this dress. Besides, if we’re going to have this conversation I want to be comfortable while we’re doing it.’
‘What conversation?’ The word made Ben nervous. He usually tried to avoid being in any situation with a woman that required him to have a serious conversation.
‘The one about my family and why you’re so offended by my taking care of them. And don’t think I didn’t notice that we managed to not have this conversation at any point where we couldn’t just hang up on each other.’
‘Well, we were a little preoccupied at certain points.’
‘Ben?’
‘Yeah?’
‘We are not having phone sex.’
Damn. ‘I know that. So—go on. Tell me about this dinner.’
Luce sighed. ‘It wasn’t just a dinner. It was for my brother Tom. He’s had a rough time of it the last few years. Longer, really. But when his marriage broke down a coupl
e of years ago he totally fell apart. And because he was in such a state my mother was beside herself, too. It was just when Dolly was applying to drama schools and, well...’
‘You got stuck trying to hold everyone together?’
‘Yeah. Anyway, this was the first time since then that Tom’s met someone he’s wanted to introduce us to. First time he’s seemed interested in anything, let alone anyone, since Hattie left him.’
‘And you didn’t want to risk it not happening?’
‘I just... It was a big deal for my family. And he’ll be with her tomorrow. This was our only chance to be all together.’
‘I get that.’ Ben thought about Luce, alone in that big house, trying to make her family happy so that she could finally relax enough to find some happiness herself. ‘I guess I just don’t get why they’re all your responsibility.’
‘Who else would look after them?’
It was a throwaway comment, Ben knew. Self-deprecating, accepting the inevitable. But could he hear a real question under it? Was she ready to cast off some responsibility?
‘Maybe it’s time they learned to look after themselves.’
‘Maybe.’ She didn’t sound entirely convinced, but it was a start. ‘Did you make your meeting with your brother in the end?’
‘I did.’ It was the reason he’d called, actually. ‘He has some new ideas for the business. A new role he wants me to take on.’
‘Sounds interesting.’
‘It is.’
‘You don’t sound sure.’
‘It’s a lot to take on.’
‘A big responsibility.’ To her credit, she didn’t mock him for that. ‘Tell me about it.’
How to explain? ‘Well, you have to understand when my dad ran the business it was all about turnover. He bought up a hotel, made it a functional and decent place for businessmen, then moved on to the next one. Over time they became higher and higher end, with more amenities and luxurious surroundings, but the basis was the same. It was somewhere to work.’
‘And that’s where you grew up?’ Luce said, surprising him with the sympathy in her voice. ‘That must have been—’
‘It was fine,’ Ben interrupted. ‘I got to travel the country before I was ten and the world before I was twenty. Not many kids had that chance.’
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