by Nikki Landis
Holy fuck.
That was amazing!
It was several minutes of holding each other close before their heart rates slowed down and they could breathe easier. For a split second, Sawyer almost panicked when he realized that he never pulled out. What if he got her pregnant? In a fucking zombie apocalypse?
Her bright eyes were watching his face. He could do nothing that would upset or worry her. “Baby, I have to say that was the best fucking sex of my entire life.”
She laughed lightly as a blush rose to stain her cheeks. Too bad they were already a light pink from exertion. He grinned widely. She was so beautiful. “I want to do that again, really soon.”
Bailee pulled him closer as she smiled shyly, tracing the muscles of his biceps up his arms all the way to his face where her fingers hovered near his lips and shook slightly. “I love you, Sawyer.”
His first instinct was to pull away. Those three words didn’t ever leave his mouth. Sure, he had plenty of girlfriends, one-night stands, and friends with benefits, but he never ever said those three dreaded words to a woman. It wasn’t his style and he didn’t want to feel obligated.
Until Bailee.
Now he couldn’t seem to get them to come out quite right and his chest swelled with the thought it may hurt her if he didn’t respond. He loved Bailee. Damn, he loved her so much he thought it just might make him crazy. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears, her raw emotions visible in those beautiful hazel depths.
Placing his hands gently on each side of her face, he leaned down until they were so close she could see the truth in his eyes. “I love you, Bailee and I’ve never said it to anyone else. I’ve never wanted to until right now.”
Tears slipped down her cheeks and into his calloused hands. He didn’t care. “I mean it, baby. I love you so much I don’t know how I’m going to get through each day without staying in this bed and proving it.” He kissed her long and sweet, then rolled over so he could hold her in his arms, still lodged inside her. He just couldn’t break the connection, not yet. “You remember that. I don’t make a habit of saying shit I don’t mean.”
She smiled through her tears and a piece of his heart melted from just that one look. “I know, Sawyer.”
He adored the sweet expression on her face, knowing he was the one that placed it there.
As he held her nestled in his arms, he knew difficult choices were ahead. There was no way he could go through with the mission now. Fuck the government. He’d given up enough of his life, sacrificed enough years. He wasn’t giving her up now, too.
Well, that was it. He was really and truly fucked but he found he didn’t care. Sawyer was never going to let Bailee go and screw anyone who tried to take her from him. He’d fight to the death.
He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and closed his eyes. “Stay with me, baby. I need you.”
For the first time in his life, Sawyer meant every word he said.
Chapter 12
Day 394, A.Z. –
“How’s Bailee?” Razz asked, leaning his head back against the wall as he took a long drag on his cigarette.
“Fucken traumatized,” Saw admitted, his head in his hands. She was finally resting so he walked outside their room to talk with Razz for a minute and figure out their next move. “What about Charlotte?”
“She should recover, but she’s going to have a lot of scars. Some of those cuts were pretty deep. It took hours for me to sew her up properly.” His voice broke as he tossed the butt to the ground and stomped on the cinders with his boot. “Fuck, man. I thought I was going to lose her.”
Sawyer met his gaze in understanding. “I know what you mean.”
“Of course. You fucken love Bailee.” A smirk rode his features as he clasped Saw on the back. “Glad you finally figured out your shit.”
“Fuck off,” Sawyer joked, laughing. His smile faded as he thought of Tonya and her sacrifice.
“It’s okay, you know. Don’t feel guilty for loving Bailee. Tonya accepted what she meant to you and made her peace with it.”
“Did she speak to you about it?” Saw was skeptical.
“Yeah, she did. More than once, actually. She didn’t hold it against you so don’t use it as an excuse to pull away from the only woman dumb enough to love you back.”
Sawyer was relieved. His guilt wasn’t easily swayed but he knew Razz was right. Tonya saved both Bailee and Charlotte and in his eyes she would always be a hero. His affection had morphed and changed over the last year and he realized he’d come to think of her as more like a sister in recent months. A part of him would always miss her. His heart had taken a huge hit and he wasn’t sure how long that dull and constant ache would remain in his chest.
His only saving grace was the beautiful brunette that lay in his bed. He loved Bailee and was certain that whatever choices he was presented with in the future would depend on how he could keep her safe and close by his side.
Over the next couple of days they managed to restore order to the facility and quarantine the areas that were now vulnerable due to the explosions. They couldn’t remain here long and would need to find a new base. He sent the guys off in groups of three to scope out a better location. In the interim, Saw spent every minute he could with Bailee.
It was late during one of these nights when Saw felt restless and decided on a quick smoke. He didn’t do so often but the stress and shit of the last weeks was taking a toll. As he made his way down the silent corridor, he ticked his head toward Jester who was on patrol.
“How’s it going tonight?”
“Nothing new to report. Facility is secure. All twenty-one bodies present and accounted for.”
Saw nodded. “Good. You see Razz?”
“Last I saw he was with Charlotte.”
“I’m gonna have a quick smoke. Chewy outside?”
“Yes. He insisted on a post outside. Said he felt restless.”
Damn. He wasn’t the only one then. His men were pretty sharp when it came to their instincts, too. “On second thought, I think I’ll stop by and check on Razz.”
Jester gave a mock salute and walked away, returning to his patrol of the compound.
Sawyer headed toward Razz and Charlotte’s room. He was deep in thought when he saw Razz slip from the room and head north – directly to the temporary cell they had set up for Matt.
Sawyer followed Razz until he reached the room, staying a few feet behind.
“Don’t stop me, Saw.” He spun around and glared in his best friend’s direction. “This has to be done.”
Sawyer stood his ground, walked forward and blocked Razz from approaching the door. “Don’t make this an issue, Razz. Think this through before you react.”
“I have,” Razz grit between his teeth, his jaw tight. “He almost killed my Charlotte and we lost Tonya. Bailee is fucked up and traumatized. People are scared. This fucker needs to die.”
“I didn’t say I don’t agree with you. I know where your head is at. Let me deal with this, Razz.”
Razz shook his head, palming his weapon. “I can’t. Saw, this is how it’s got to be. He can’t be allowed to hurt anyone else.”
Sawyer was torn. Should he walk away and let Razz issue justice on his own? Or should he do the right thing? Hand Matt over to base command for punishment?
What was the right thing anymore?
This world didn’t play by the rules. It was never simple black and white like it used to be.
Razz stood in front of him and didn’t back down. “This isn’t about morality, Saw. This is about safety and protecting the ones we care about. No more, no less.”
Sawyer sighed. “Fuck. I can't argue with that, but I can’t let you do this either.”
Just when he thought Razz was going to rush him and a brawl would ensue, Bailee approached from the other end of the corridor. “Sawyer?”
Razz’s tone was bitter. “Go see to your woman. I’m taking care of this.”
The moment Saw took a step b
ackward into the door, a loud thud hit the other side. Both men yanked on the handle and opened it, only to find Matt – or what used to be Matt – dangling from the ceiling fan. His body was twitching as he flopped about like a fish out of water, snarling and snapping his jaws. His feet were kicking at the door as the ceiling fan broke and fell, crashing onto the hard linoleum the same moment as Matt’s body hit.
Razz lifted his pistol and fired one shot, hitting Matt dead center of his forehead. He dropped to the ground as dark blood began to pool and trickle down his face in thin rivulets. The crimson fluid soaked into the fibers of the white material gathered around his neck. He’d taken the coward’s way out and used linens in the room and the ceiling fan to avoid facing the consequences of his crimes.
“Why did you shoot him if he was already dead?”
Bailee’s strained voice broke through Sawyer’s tumultuous thoughts.
“Baby, most people turn within twelve hours of exposure. It’s the only way to make sure they don’t become a walking corpse.”
She was shaking as he pulled her into his side. “But he wasn’t bitten, right?”
“It’s too risky. He may be like the others.”
“What does that mean?”
“One thing we know from the last few months is that death usually triggers a similar response.”
“How is that possible?”
“I think the original virus that was implanted inside bottled water has morphed and changed into a deadly plague that’s also airborne.”
“Oh, God.”
Razz sighed as he added, “I’m pretty sure we’re all Infected anyway.”
DAY 396, A.Z. –
“Echo to base one. Are you there? Over.”
Sawyer had been trying to reach the main base for the last two days. He wasn’t having much luck with the receiver. Jester repaired the radio, but the issue remained.
“No answer?”
Razz and Iceman came in and sat down in some of the empty office chairs.
Saw shook his head. “I think we may be out of range.”
Iceman stroked the short beard covering his chin. “It’s possible. Jester and I can check it out. There may be something blocking us.”
“Or base one moved,” Razz added.
“That’s what I was thinking,” Saw agreed. “We can’t stay here much longer and I wanted to radio our new outpost, but I can't get through. Perhaps they were overrun or needed to switch locations.”
Jester joined the trio of guys and leaned against the wall, folding his arms over his chest. “We’ve got problems. Some of the civilians don’t feel safe and are causing issues. They heard the explosions and know the compound isn’t as safe as it should be. Charlotte, Amy, and Kara are having a hard time keeping them all in line.”
“Then I guess we make plans to move within the next ninety-six,” Saw decided.
The others nodded. Four days was more than enough time to accomplish their goal.
“In the interim we’ll take shifts and move as many of our supplies as possible. Four to post at night instead of two. I don’t want to take any chances.”
Razz leaned back, his eyes meeting Sawyer’s in a way that proved what he had to say next was probably going to piss Saw off. “And the mission?”
The other guys didn’t say a word but their curiosity was obvious.
“This isn’t about Bailee anymore.”
Jester frowned. “You know that’s not true, Saw. I get it. We all do, but our orders are specific.”
Sawyer was on his feet fast, his agitation causing his teeth to grind in his mouth. “Well, I didn’t plan on falling in love with her, did I?”
Iceman whistled low. “Damn, Saw. You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” he answered honestly. “So, I’d like to keep this from Bailee until I have a chance to explain. I’m not turning her in, not now.” He saw the surprise in Jester and Iceman’s eyes but Razz only nodded. “I just can’t.”
“I don’t think you need to worry about keeping anything from me, Sawyer since I already know.” Bailee was standing with her hands on her hips in the doorway. Her expression proved her anger and mistrust. “Why don’t you go ahead and finish. I’d like to know my fate, too.”
“Baby, it’s not that simple.”
“Oh, I think it is. You kept the truth from me.” She stalked forward until she was standing in front of him, all five-foot-seven of her ready to take him on.
Fuck!
“Listen, sweetheart –”
She cut him off. “That’s how you knew who I was. When we met, you weren’t surprised I was there. You knew my name and were only confirming my identity, weren’t you?”
“Yes,” he admitted, “I was supposed to notify my superiors once I found Schroeder’s niece.”
“Have you done that? Do they know about me?”
He shook his head, reaching for her as she took a step back. “Bailee.”
“You all knew who I was. Why the charade? Why not turn me over the moment I came here?”
Sawyer managed to pull her close and tilted her chin up until their eyes met. “Because I couldn’t give the order.”
“Why?”
He didn’t bother to acknowledge the other men slipping from the room. They gave him the privacy he needed without being asked. “Because I think I fell in love with you almost instantly.” Yeah, he was a total and complete contradiction. Who knew all it took was one pretty brunette to knock him on his ass and snare his heart forever?
Her shoulders drooped as she shook her head. “You lied.”
“Partially. I didn’t want to give you up. I’m sorry I haven’t talked about this sooner but it’s been a fucken chaotic nightmare for weeks.”
“Maybe so, but you could have told me the truth before we slept together.” He voice rose slightly and he knew she felt hurt and betrayed.
“It wasn’t like that, baby. I swear.”
“And what about Tonya?”
He flinched, not sure where she was going with that line of questioning. “What about her?”
“That day I stumbled upon you, when you were talking about fucking her and she invited you back to her room. What the hell was that?”
“Me being confused. I needed to push you away.”
“Why?” She kept stepping back as he advanced, anger visible in the flush of her cheeks and the hard line of her jaw.
“I’m a Marine. Obeying orders is my life, Bailee. I was doing my job and when I knew my judgment was compromised I decided to push you away. That’s all it was, nothing more.”
“Tonya wanted you. I saw it in her eyes. How could you –”
He cut her off with a sensual passionate kiss. None of this shit mattered. Tonya was gone. “That’s all the past, baby.”
She sighed as her cheek rested over his heart. “What are we going to do?”
He enveloped her in his embrace and squeezed lightly. “I don’t know but it’s alright, Bailee. We’ll figure it out. Together.”
His lips met hers once more and he fought back the urge to pick her up, set her on one of the desks, and fuck her hard. This wasn’t the right time and he wanted this moment to be about more than lust. She needed to understand how deeply he loved and cared about her.
“Saw, I think . . .” she trailed off as her head tilted to the side. “Do you hear that?”
He didn’t hear anything. “No.”
“Listen.”
A strange sort of scraping sound could be heard outside. Several small thuds and bumps followed more of the same scratching noise.
“What the fuck?” he asked, clasping her hand tightly and leaving the room.
The hall was empty. Low lighting from the ceiling lent an eerie glow to their bodies as they moved through the corridor.
Darkness had fallen outside and a sudden chill ghosted along his spine.
He turned to Bailee, pulling her into the armory as he unlocked the door. “Grab a weapon.”
Her jaw dr
opped as her gaze swept the arsenal. “I don’t even know what some of these things are,” she admitted.
He snorted in mild amusement as Razz and Charlotte ran into the room. “We’ve got company.”
Bailee sighed. “I know what’s out there,” she whispered, her eyes wide with fright but also determination. “We’ll be lucky to survive the night.” She picked up a baseball bat and a few knives while Saw loaded up with his own weapons.
“It doesn’t matter as long as we survive together.” The kiss he gave her was one he wouldn’t soon forget. “Stay with me.”
The compound was under attack . . . and this time it was more than the Rotters.
Chapter 13
Day 397, A.Z. –
“Take this,” Sawyer ordered, shoving a two-way radio into my hands. “Keep it close. If we get separated I want you to use it to contact me. Alright?”
I bit my lip with worry but nodded in agreement. “Okay.”
“I’ll stay on channel one.”
“What if I can’t get ahold of you?”
“You remember where we met? That housing development?”
Ugh, of course I did. “Yes.”
“There’s a police station around the corner. Go there and climb up the ladder on the side of the building to the roof. It’s safe and I’ll find you easily.”
“I really don’t want to go back there,” I admitted.
His hands gripped my shoulders as he stared into my eyes, those deep blue orbs almost angry. “Promise me. I mean it, Bailee. You give me your word that you’ll meet me there if anything happens.”
I sighed. “Alright, I promise.”
He seemed relieved. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
An odd screech filled the air as the four of us ran from the armory, narrowly missing Jester and a few of the others. Saw held my hand with a death grip as we made our way down the hall and checked on each room. We steadily began to gather a group of followers as we made our way toward the opposite end of the compound.