That hurt.
That hurt a lot.
Fuck him.
Still, even with him gone, I wish I could feel his lips on mine again. Sure, he’s a dick. A total jerk. But damn if sleeping with him wasn’t exhilarating.
I’ve got to put him out of my head.
I’ve got to move on.
Forward and up.
The early morning sun washes away most of the anger. An idea pushes the rest out of mind. Sure, I slept with Kieran Knight. But that doesn’t define me. I’m still Emma Astor, tough as nails, like daddy raised me. That’s how I define myself.
And I’ve had a great idea – while Kieran can’t buy my ranch, maybe he’ll be happy investing in me instead. After all, he’s seen Olivia open up and blossom after a handful of riding lessons.
With a stretch and yawn, I get out of bed. There’s an odd soreness deep between my hips, and a smile teases my lips even as my cheeks sting. I don’t feel different. Not really. It’s odd how much emphasis is put on virginity when, once it’s gone, it’s hardly missed.
The smile curves my lips as I head down to the kitchen. I’m hungry, and I’m going to have breakfast.
A glance out the window is enough to make the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. There’s a glare, like the sun reflecting off metal out there. Not up by the house, no, down by a turn in the driveway.
But who the hell would be here?
Dressing quickly, I pull my shoes on on the porch and begin to walk down the drive. But as I approach the vehicle, a car with darkly tinted windows that stops me from seeing who’s at the wheel, pulls out and spits gravel as it backs down the drive.
I break into a run, needing to know who’s messing with me, spying on me.
But I’m pretty sure I know.
I can only imagine one person has something to gain from spying on me.
Kieran.
I watch the car turn around quickly and tear out of the drive so quickly the tires spin and kick up enough dust to choke an elephant. With a growing sense of dread, I stop and stare after them, committing the license plate to memory.
Why would Kieran come sit in my driveway in a car I don’t recognize?
My paranoia crumbles as I ask logical questions. If he wanted to spy on me; why not stay after we’d had sex? Why not just walk up to my house and ask to talk to me? He has access to me, to my life, my things, my home, my heart.
Why hide in the shadows? It’s doesn’t make sense.
Still, some unsettling sense in me warns of danger. And not the particular brand of danger Kieran exudes. This is different. It’s not a sense of danger of being double crossed. It’s unknown. Which is more terrifying by tenfold.
Uneasy, I make my way back to the house, carefully chanting the plate number every step of the way. In the kitchen – and still chanting – I pick up a pen and jot the info down on a grocery list pad. It feels odd, writing things down.
And I remember that my phone is up the stairs on my nightstand next to my bed. If something bad had happened, I’d be without even a way to call for help.
As the hairs on my arms stand on end, I take a few deep breaths as the reality of how odd the situation was hits me. It’s scary, really. But what can I do? Should I call the police and say someone was sitting in my driveway for a few minutes before turning around and leaving? Sure, they were trespassing, but I’m going to sound totally crazy if I call the cops and press charges on nothing more than a gut feeling. Right?
I sink into a chair at the table, feeling so very unsure and sick to my stomach. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.
A quick glance over the door assures me dad’s shotgun is still there. And I bet it’s still loaded. With quick steps, I pull a chair over and grab it from its place. I can’t reach it without a chair. So I put it behind the door, instead.
While part of me is sure I’m overreacting, part of me feels good that I’m taking steps to feel safer. I doubt anything will come to pass; but if it does, I’ll be ready.
* * *
My heart pounds as the time for Kieran and Olivia to come over draws closer. The thought of seeing him again after last night is enough to make me dizzy.
When I finally hear the truck on the drive, I give Jenny a final brush out and a kiss on the nose. “I gotta go, little lady,” I tell her as she tosses her head. Her colt does the same, mimicking his momma in a way that makes my heart warm.
I leave them and head toward the truck. Olivia charges me like a bullet, throwing her arms around me in a hug that stills my heart. I hug her back, shocked at how this little girl has dug her way into my heart.
“Hi, hon,” I say, and she beams up at me.
“I’m going to go get started!” She says, and I stop her. While she looks up at me expectantly, I can’t help but notice how bright her eyes are.
“Can you do me a huge favor?” I ask, and she nods, her face shining in joy. “Can you put a lead on Jenny and take her to the empty pasture I let her play in?”
With an important look on her face, Olivia nods, then rushes off. I look after her, my heart thundering as I hear the driver’s side door slam. Part of me wants to turn and face him, but part of me is scared to.
I turn and face him. His crystalline blue eyes meet mine, narrowed and dark with desire. And the kick of my heart speeds up. With a sure, swinging stride, he makes his way to me and stops before me. We stare at each other, no words spoken, and I wonder if it’s going to be weird.
His hand comes up to cup my cheek, then his lips are on mine and my heart stands still in my chest.
But I push back, the hurt of the night before not forgotten. It’s a boost to my ego to know he’s still feeling something, that he’s not going ice king on me, but I haven’t forgiven him for his stupid handling of the situation.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, and I smile. It’s a start.
Chapter 23
Kieran
Fuck.
I’d planned to keep my distance. I’d planned to pretend nothing ever happened between us last night.
But she’d been standing there, her green eyes sparkling with joy and mischief, a little curve to her lips, her long hair toying with the wind as she watched me with a silent challenge in her eyes.
She’s fucking beautiful. Inside and out. I’d hurt her last night, yet here she is, whole and happy with a sweet smile on her face. She’d hugged Olivia back, had given her a task that made Olivia light up with a self-importance that caught my breath. I see my daughter blossoming before me, and I’d worked so hard for that. Yet Emma does it without even seeming to try.
Emma looks past me, down the driveway, a look of worry in her eyes that makes me look over my shoulder to find what she’s looking at, but I see nothing. Still, the concern in her eyes leaves my heart sinking. I missed something. Something major.
Fuck; I didn’t bring trouble to her doorstep, did I?
Uneasy, I meet her gaze and find she’s carefully hidden away her worry.
“I have a deal for you,” she says, her eyes sparkling as we turn and work our way toward the barn. Instantly, the thought of talking a deal with her leads me back to last night and my cock pulses painfully.
But I say nothing as we fall into step.
“I’m not going to sell,” she says, looking over at me with more than a hint of amusement in her eyes. “But I wanted to ask you to invest.”
“No.” She doesn’t get it. I’m going to have her ranch, one way or another. Even if it means being the worst kind of bastard.
You’re too weak. Dad’s whisper in the back of my mind sends me into total shut down mode and steels my resolve. I’ve proved I’ll do anything to make sure Olivia and I have a future. A safe, lush future. She’ll grow up happy, never wanting for anything. She’ll have everything I never did, money, love, everything she could ever ask for.
And that, to me, is worth potentially hurting Emma. Because Emma is sweet, she’s amazing, but she’s not family. She’s not my blood. She
’s not someone I’d die to protect. Olivia is. Sometimes you have to step on a few people to get out of the pit. And I’ll do anything to keep Olivia out of the pit.
Emma stares up at me, finally seeming a bit unsure. “You don’t even want to hear my thoughts?” she asks, a sharp edge to her voice not hiding the underling hurt.
And I think quickly. “Emma, after last night, the last thing I’m thinking about is your ranch.” The words are smooth as silk, and I see her eyes widen a bit, before a critical light within her begins to shine.
“Okay,” she says simply as we walk up on the barn and step in. Inside, Olivia is mucking out Dreamer’s stall, her face all concentration. She looks up, smiling at Emma.
“I let Jenny out. Her foal was right behind her the whole way.” Olivia seems proud of herself, and Emma thanks her. The exchange makes me pause. Emma is so good with Olivia. I’m making the right choice here. Even if it all ends badly, Olivia will get more good than bad out of it all. I’m sure of it.
Behind us, I hear a voice that stops my heart.
“Knock, knock, knock!”
I turn and see the man behind the voice and my blood runs cold. What the fuck is he doing here?
Emma walks past me toward the barn door and I watch her open it. His eyes meet mine, and I see him freeze, though he manages to keep talking to Emma. I walk over, coldly staring him down.
Emma pauses her conversation about Jenny and her colt and looks back and forth between us. There are so many things I want to say, but none of them come to the surface.
“Kyle?” Emma says, watching us.
He continues to stare me down his blue eyes dark with fury and hatred. I want to hit him. My knuckles itch, and I feel my fist ball up. His jaw ripples and I know he’s clenching his teeth. The tiny motion of him rising to the balls of his feet is not lost on me. He wants a fucking fight? Let’s fucking do it, then.
I’m only aware Olivia has come up behind us when I hear her sweet, bell of a voice speak up from behind me. “Uncle Kyle?”
Suddenly, the tension drains from the room and Kyle looks down at Olivia, a smile on his face that warms even his eyes. “Hey, love! How are you?” he squats down and opens his arms.
“Good!” she says, her face lighting into a smile that belies the hatred and anger in the room. In an instant, she’s in his arms. Emma watches me, her eyes wide, as if she knows what almost happened right here in her barn.
“That’s great!” Kyle says, pulling back from the embrace. “Are you learning to ride horses?” he asks, and Olivia nods, her excitement sparking in her pretty blue eyes.
“Well,” Kyle says, looking up at Emma, “She’s the best teacher around. You better listen to her, bug.”
Olivia giggles and I start. Bug? The last person to call Olivia bug was my father. And that was well over six years ago. That was before.
“Have you seen the colt?” Kyle asks Olivia, who nods.
“I put him out to pasture with Jenny,” she says, sounding very grown up all of a sudden. “Want me to take you to him?” she asks.
“Yep!” Kyle says, “I have to make sure he’s healthy. Em, here, likes to worry,” he says, looking up at Emma, who smiles.
My anger shifts. Who the fuck is he to her? Calling her Em? Saying she likes to worry? How often does she call him? What the fuck is their relationship?
I look at her, but she’s not paying attention to me as Olivia takes Kyle’s hand and he stands up, allowing her to lead him out of the barn.
“I didn’t know he was your brother,” Emma says, but I’ve got nothing to say as I watch my daughter walking off with the brother who’d told me he wished I died instead of dad so many years ago.
Chapter 24
Emma
The tension between the men was palatable. I had no idea Kieran even had a brother, much less that it was the guy who’d been making soft passes at me for a while. I wasn’t expecting Kyle today. But then again, he’s been coming around without me calling for a while now.
It never seemed weird, until now.
Sure, he never did that when dad was alive. But since dad passed away, he’s stopped by often, claiming he’s checking in on the horses. Now, after the tension between the brothers, I wonder if he was actually checking in on me.
And what the hell was with Kieran? Why was he so on edge?
There has to be something more between the brothers. Something I don’t know about. Something that has nothing to do with me. I wonder what, though. I’d swear Kieran wanted to bash Kyle’s face in. And Kyle was right there with him, ready to lash out like a cobra.
I reach out and grab Kieran’s arm before he can leave.
“What the hell was all that about?” I ask, suddenly furious. Kyle is my vet. Whatever personal feelings there may be, he’s still an important fixture around here. I don’t need Kieran chasing him off.
And besides, I don’t need the drama of two guys trying to kill each other on my damn lawn.
But Kieran says nothing. He’s all steel and ire as he looks down at me, then after his brother. So I attack from another angle while Olivia is out of ear shot.
“Why did you say no?” I ask, and he looks at me, shock registering behind those incredible blue eyes.
I know he’s not going to answer, though, and I’m not about to take that bullshit. He’s going to answer me. “It’s a good deal,” I tell him, and he arches an eyebrow at me like he’s skeptical.
“It’s an amazing ROI,” I tell him, feeling pang of satisfaction that he seems surprised I know the term return on investment. “So this must be personal.” I conclude, and he finally decides to say something.
“It’s not personal,” he says, his eyes darkening. Sensing the danger, I push forward.
“Then why did you say no?” I ask a bit too sweetly, sure I’ve backed him into a corner.
Suddenly, his lips are on mine, but there’s nothing sweet about the kiss. It’s rough. His tongue pushes past my lips and my knees tremble as the sheer brutality of it shakes me to the core. Interestingly enough, it also ignites something within me and I kiss him back.
His arms circle around me; holding me tightly as he leans into the kiss and pushes me back. My heart bangs against his chest and finds his heart beating quickly. Everything in me comes alive and I want nothing more than to feel him again, skin to skin, heart to heart.
But he pulls back and I hear why. The approaching voices of Olivia and Kyle.
“Well, maybe we can see each other more,” Kyle is saying to Olivia.
I feel Kieran tense up as the two enter the barn.
Kyle’s eyes dart from me to Kieran and I know he knows. My cheeks sting as Olivia chatters on, seemingly unaware of all the tension between the adults around her.
“I’d like that. I need to get back to Dreamer’s stall, though.” She stands on tiptoe as Kyle leans down. She kisses his cheek and gives him a one arm hug around the shoulders before heading back to Dreamer’s stall.
“A word?” Kieran says in a low, threatening voice to his brother.
The two step outside, and I follow, needing to make sure there’s no bloodshed on my property.
“Don’t bother,” Kyle is saying to a livid Kieran. “You took everything else from me, why should this be any different?” His blue eyes flick to me and suddenly, both men are studying me.
“This better not be about me,” I say. “No one took me from anyone.”
“Right,” Kyle says, his voice ice. “What about Olivia?” He looks at his brother. “What about dad?”
Shock rips through me as I wonder what the hell they’re talking about. I stare form one to the other, waiting for some clarity. But Kyle looks form me to his brother, a small, cruel smile on his lips.
“She doesn’t know, does she?” he asks, his icy tone clearly affecting Kieran like frostbite. With that, Kyle turns and leaves, then seems to think better of it. He turns around again, his movements so threatening I feel frightened and jump back a step as he focuses the
full force of his wrath on me.
“Don’t trust a fucking thing he says,” he says, running a trembling hand through his hair as rage rolls off him like this fog. “He’ll gut you without a second thought. He only cares about himself. Don’t let him fool you otherwise.”
“You’re wrong,” I whisper, and his eyes lock on me, narrowing a tiny fraction. “He cares about her,” I jerk my chin toward the barn and Olivia.
To my horror, Kyle lets out an ugly laugh. “Right. That’s why she hasn’t seen her grandma in over a year. Every girl should grow up without her mother, her grandparents, her uncles. He clearly cares.”
I glance over at Kieran, who’s clearly livid and I realize how very little I know about this family. And Kieran surely has dark secrets. While I’d wondered where Olivia’s mom was, I had assumed she’d passed away. The finality of Olivia’s references of her felt like she’d died. But now that I think back, she’d never said so. She’d mentioned missing her mother. But she’d never actually said she’d lost her, even after I mentioned my dad had died.
Without another word, Kyle walked away, his back straight and his shoulders square.
I look over at Kieran, both wanting to demand answers and help him. But he’s staring after his brother. And I can’t help it.
“Fix it,” I tell him, and he glances over at me.
“I can never fix the evil things I said to dad.” My voice lowers to a wobbly whisper. “And now he’s dead. Fix it.”
But Kieran eyes me with a look that’s impassibly harsh. “Some things can’t be fixed,” he says, but I shake my head.
“Everything can be fixed,” I say, gathering courage.
Suddenly, Olivia peeks around the barn door at us, her face filled with fear. “Are you telling daddy on me?” she asks me, her eyes wide with unshed tears.
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