Nikki shuddered, realizing she had to put him out of his misery. Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to perform at his best for the rest of the rodeo. But when she told him the truth, she feared he would feel so badly about Toly, it would affect him in a worse way.
What to do...
Forgive me, Toly. My brother needs an explanation.
She turned to face him. “All right. I’ll tell you the truth.” For the next little while Nikki told him about Toly’s neuropathy. “He’s had three episodes since he was diagnosed. Two happened during practice before you drove to Las Vegas. But the third one came on when he was in the box two nights ago.”
Mills shook his head, but he’d lowered it so she couldn’t see his expression.
“He’s been going through excruciating torment to keep the news from you because he wants you guys to win the national championship. He feared that if he told you, it might make you want to pull out, which was the last thing he wanted. Yesterday he practiced throwing the rope with his left arm and it paid off because you got a second place last night.”
Silence followed her comments.
“When did he tell you?” he finally asked in a deceptively quiet voice.
“The afternoon I brought the Chinese food for you. He said he needed my advice about something. I had no idea. When I learned about his condition, you can’t imagine how heartbroken I was, not only for him but for you!”
“Did he swear you to secrecy?”
“No. It wasn’t like that. Toly was torn apart and wanted me to tell him if he should tell you the truth, knowing you might decide to withdraw from the competition. He said he would abide by my decision because he trusted me with his life. Toly also said that he knew you trusted me more than anyone else in the world.”
Mills lifted his dark head. “So you influenced him not to tell me?”
“After he told me he would start training with his left arm in order to stay in the competition, I knew in my heart and soul he didn’t want to give up. I didn’t want him to give up, either, so that’s why he didn’t tell you.”
A grimace marred her brother’s good-looking features. “I see. Interesting, isn’t it, that he couldn’t tell me, the guy he asked to partner with him for an entire year? We would have talked it over and discussed strategies. Instead, he decided I would have just given up everything we’d worked for because he had no faith in me.”
“Yes, he does—” she cried, but he wasn’t listening.
“No, Nikki. He came to you.” She felt him trembling. “I find that the worst form of betrayal. When I get out of the car, I’m going back to his rig to tell him he can go to hell.”
“Mills—you don’t mean that. I know you’re angry. But please, please be angry with me, not him. He was ready to be honest with you. I’m the one who made the final decision.”
“Which means you have no faith in me.”
By now she was trembling in frustration. “You’re wrong, Mills. As Mom and Dad told me many times, you were born with an exceptionally compassionate nature and a pure heart.”
“That’s bull.”
“You know it isn’t because they told you that to your face when you didn’t want our dog to be put down. I was there, remember?”
He lowered his head.
“I can point out dozens of other times too, especially after our parents died. You were there for me, comforting me like a guardian angel. I happen to know it’s a fact that if Toly had come right out and told you what was wrong, you would have been totally heartbroken for him.”
A strange sound escaped his lips.
“Don’t shake your head. I know you, Mills. You would have put his welfare and pain above yours and let go of your dream to win a championship because you’re selfless.”
She could tell he was restless and ready to get out of the car. Nikki had to make one last attempt to reach him.
“Toly recognizes those traits in you. Have you forgotten he could have chosen any heeler in the country to work with him on this year’s circuit? To think that he asked you to be his partner should tell you how much he respects and admires you, not just your horsemanship. Promise me you’ll consider everything I’ve said before you tell him to go to hell.”
Nikki’s words resonated in the interior of the car before he got out. At least he didn’t slam the door. Hopefully that meant something. This was a new situation for all of them. If she’d made matters worse, she guessed she’d find out soon enough.
As much as she’d have liked to warn Toly with a phone call, she didn’t dare in case Mills had already gone in the rig to confront him. He’d know in a second if she was on the phone to him. But she could send him a text before she turned on the engine and drove away.
* * *
TOLY HAD JUST gotten off the phone after talking ranch business with his brother Eli, when he saw that Nikki had just texted him. He’d hoped that she would have stayed with him. But she had another event tonight and no doubt wanted to get in some practice before she came back with their meal. He checked to see what she’d sent.
Sorry. Mills knows about your neuropathy. My fault.
No sooner had he taken a deep breath than he heard the distinctive knock on the door.
“Come on in!”
Mills walked through to the kitchen.
Toly eyed him over his coffee cup. “What are you doing back here? I thought you were headed for the center.”
When Mills was upset, his hard jaw gave him a fierce look. He was loaded for bear. Apparently he’d suspected something wasn’t right and had broken Nikki down. Toly wasn’t sorry. It was time he knew the truth.
“When were you going to tell me about your disease?”
“Only one person besides my doctor knows about it, so I take it Nikki has told you everything.”
“You’re damn right. Thanks for trusting the guy you’ve been training and competing with for the last year. You’re some friend, Toly Clayton.”
“For just a minute, would you try to put yourself in my place?”
“No, Toly. That argument doesn’t hold water. This issue goes far beyond winning the rodeo. I thought we were closer than friends.” The pain Toly could hear in Mills’s voice cut him like shards of glass. “You know. Brothers.”
He swallowed hard. “That’s the way I’ve felt about you for a long time.”
“The hell you have! I don’t think you know the meaning of the word.” His gray eyes looked suspiciously bright. “Funny, isn’t it, that all this time I was worried you would break Nikki’s heart because you couldn’t settle on one woman, and you’ve done an almighty job of breaking mine.”
Toly knew there was no reasoning with him right now. Maybe Mills would never be able to get over it or forgive him. To try to make things better would be futile until he’d had time to absorb what he’d learned. All Toly knew at this point was that Mills wasn’t the only one with a broken heart.
“Damn you, Toly,” his voice grated before he flew out of the rig, slamming the door behind him.
A groan came out of Toly. There wasn’t anything he could do. In Mills’s state, no one could know where he’d gone or how he would deal with his pain. Toly didn’t suppose even Nikki knew how to solve this one. Not yet anyway.
Before he did anything else, he sent her a text.
Mills delivered his message and hit his target dead center. He’s not in good shape, but I’m thankful he heard it from you, the one person he loves and knows he can count on. I’m living till I see you this afternoon.
T.
On his way out the door to do some practice throws on the dummy steer, he saw the car and was surprised. That meant Mills could be in his rig, or exercising Dusty in the RV park arena, or had even gone for a run.
No matter what, right now Toly needed to carry out his routine
for today. His right arm was still too sore to use tonight. Tomorrow night it ought to be okay, but then he had to worry if his condition would act up on him at the wrong moment. This was agony.
Once he reached the barn, he grabbed the rope he needed and walked out in back to throw loops with his left hand. He didn’t see any sign of Mills. An hour later he went back to the rig, popped some painkillers and took another nap.
When he awakened he saw that Lyle had left him a text congratulating him on their wins. He also asked him to take a look at the email he’d sent him. Amanda Fleming had made a post on the blog that Toly ought to see.
His anger flared. Amanda again?
Toly put the laptop on the kitchen table and opened the message.
For all you fans, I have news. Toly Clayton is a two-faced jerk. I ought to know. After being with me a month ago, the creep only had ten minutes for a cup of coffee after I traveled all the way to Las Vegas to be with him. I wonder how many women have ended up being dumped by him after loading them with promises. Is it because Nikki Dobson has him hog-tied? They show up together every night at the South Point. Does she know what he’s been doing out on the circuit when he’s on his own? Wouldn’t she be shocked to know what he was doing with me?
I know a lot of people would like to know my story. In fact, I know a number of magazines that would pay a lot of money for an exclusive from me with the reigning cowboy in Las Vegas. I even have pictures.
Toly didn’t give her post two thoughts before he picked up his phone and called Lyle.
“You’ve read it?”
“Yes. If I weren’t leaving the rodeo forever, I’d hire an attorney and sue her for slander. But she’s not worth the trouble. By the weekend my career will be over and the website will no longer be online. She’ll have to pick on some other dude and rant elsewhere.”
“What?”
“Yep. But don’t tell a soul, and don’t count out Mills who has several years yet and will hook up with another header.”
“But, Toly—”
“That’s my exclusive, Lyle,” he interrupted him. “I’ll call you again this weekend and you can go rogue with it once I’m back in Montana on the ranch.”
“You’re really giving it up?”
“I am. Thanks for all you’ve done. I’ll be in touch soon.”
“Wow. I can’t believe it.”
“You want to know what I can’t believe? That someone like Ms. Fleming is that desperate for attention. I can almost feel sorry for her. Isn’t it sad how many of them are out there?”
He hung up the phone. This had been Toly’s lucky day with Amanda lining up behind Mills. Just wait until tonight when Toly’s left arm let him down. The only light he could see in his life was Nikki. Where in heaven was she?
Chapter Ten
“Knock, Knock!”
Nikki—
Toly hurried over to the door to let her in. Her arms were loaded with their dinner, but all he could see were her pain-filled eyes above the sacks. She walked through to the kitchen and put them down on the counter. He was right there to pull her into his arms and they clung to each other.
“Forgive me for telling him, Toly.”
He covered her face with kisses. “Mills had to be told.”
“I wouldn’t have, but when he followed me out to the car earlier, he’d figured out that something was going on and demanded to know what it was. I couldn’t hold back any longer.”
“Shh,” he murmured, sealing her words with another long, hungry kiss. “If I made a mistake by not telling him immediately, it’s too late now.”
“You and I made it together, Toly. If I know my brother, this won’t cause him to give up even if right now he wants to. Come on. Let’s eat before we have to drive over to the center.”
She was his rock. He held her for a moment longer before lifting his head. “Something smells good.”
“I picked up meat pies with potatoes and gravy at the deli.” She eased away and emptied the sacks. “Here’s some mint brownies for an hors d’oeuvre if you need one right now.” She put their food on the table and they sat down.
“How did you know I’ve been craving one?”
Nikki grinned. “I’m psychic when it comes to your appetite.” Her glance fell on the open laptop. “More fan mail?”
“It’s a post Lyle sent to me from an ex-fan.”
“Uh-oh. Do I dare read it?”
“Only if you want to.”
“I’m glad I got rid of my website,” Nikki said before settling down to look at it. She read a couple of lines. “This is the woman you had coffee with the other morning.”
“The very one.”
“Ooh. She’s mad.” Nikki scrolled further. “There’s nothing about the rodeo here.”
Their eyes met. His held amusement. “Of course not.”
She ended up reading the whole thing. “Surely this groupie knows you could go after her with a lawsuit, but she’s probably disappeared already and you’d never find her.”
Toly ruffled his dark blond head unconsciously. “I’d never want to.” She loved it when he mussed it. The man was so striking, it didn’t surprise her he’d received a post like that one on his blog. No one could match Toly.
He shut the laptop and leaned over to give her a deep kiss. “Mmm. You taste like mint.”
Nikki chuckled. “So do you. How’s your arm?”
“It’s not too sore right now.”
“Thank goodness.”
They dug into their Chinese food. She kept hoping Mills might get in touch with her. But after knowing about his conversation with Toly, the news had enlarged the pit in her stomach. At the end of their meal her phone rang. She checked the caller ID before flicking him a glance.
“It’s Mills.” She picked up and put it on speaker. “Hey—where are you?” She was holding her breath.
“I’m at the center and will see you there.”
“Great.” She heard the click before she could say anything else.
Toly stared at her. “At least he’s planning to compete tonight.”
“Yes. I know he’s going to get over this. We just have to give him more time and believe he’ll move past this.”
He shook his head. “I wish I had your faith. I couldn’t have inflicted more damage if I’d shot him in the back. This on top of Denise’s rejection is as bad as it gets.”
She cleared the table. “Maybe the anger beneath these tumultuous feelings will help him get through the rest of the competition.”
“That’s one interesting way of looking at it.” He put his left arm around her waist and drew her against his body. “Thank God you’re here, Nikki,” he spoke into her hair. “I couldn’t get through this without you.”
Nikki’s hands slid up his chest to cup his chiseled face. “I feel the same way. We’re in this together, and we’ll see it through.” For the first time since coming to Las Vegas, she took the initiative and kissed him with all the longing that had built up inside of her. Their bodies tried to merge.
His hungry response robbed her of breath. “I need you, Nikki Dobson,” he said in a husky voice. “I wish to heaven we didn’t have to leave for the center.”
“But we do,” she half moaned the words and eased away. “I’ll finish the dishes when I bring you back later. Gather your things and we’ll go.”
On the drive to the center, Nikki felt that somewhere along the way they’d charted a new course. He might be a team roper, but the header and the barrel racer had become a team, bound by invisible cords over their love for Mills and all that this grueling year of hard work and sacrifice represented.
Nikki pulled in back of the center and they made their way to the stalls. One of the events had started and the noise of the crowd was unreal. Andy ha
d Snapper bridled and saddled. “Mills said to tell you he’d meet you in the alley.”
“Thanks, Andy. You and Santos do great work.”
But beneath his Stetson, Toly flashed her a worried, silent message that tugged on her emotions. “It’ll be fine,” she whispered. “God bless you tonight.”
“I already asked Him to bless you.”
“Toly.” Her voice caught.
He led Snapper out of the stall and mounted him. There was no more magnificent sight than Toly astride his horse dressed in his black Western shirt and jeans, the epitome of male beauty.
After he disappeared, she made her way through the stands to the place where Denise was waiting for her and they hugged. It meant everything that the woman who’d become her dear friend was here to talk to.
Last night she’d confided in Denise about Toly’s condition. “Unfortunately today I had to tell Mills about Toly’s neuropathy. He knew something was wrong. Toly and I had agreed not to tell him until the rodeo was over, but it didn’t work out that way.”
“Oh no—”
“It was horrible. He felt completely betrayed and looked like he’d lost his best friend. In a way it was almost as bad as the way he looked when he told me you’d broken up with him. My brother can’t take much more. Neither can Toly,” she whispered. “He’s been living a nightmare since that episode the other night.”
Suddenly the team roping was announced. They looked at each other without having to say a word. A bad night tonight could cause the guys to slip from their first-place standing and there’d be no coming back from it.
One by one the teams raced out of their gates, racking up a lot of times between 4.6 and 4.4, but as the announcer said, “The time to beat is 4.2. Here come our first-place winners from Montana, Toly Clayton and Mills Dobson! Can they do it again?” The crowd went crazy with everyone on their feet.
“I’m going to jump out of my skin.”
Roping Her Christmas Cowboy Page 13