by GA Hauser
“Like?”
Brodie rubbed his rough jaw and gazed out at the expanse of water. He didn’t answer. He had no idea what to say.
Julian cleared his throat. “You…uh, you ever see that movie…uh, Brokeback Mountain?”
Whipping his head around at the comment, Brodie found apprehension in Julian’s eyes. As if Julian expected to be punched out for such a brazen statement. “I have.”
“You…” Julian cleared his throat, adding as a disclaimer, “I’m not gay, I just thought it was a decent movie.”
I’m not gay? Brodie was confused. Okay, I’ll play. “I’m not gay either, but those sex scenes were hot.”
“Yeah. Really hot.”
Great, now he was hard again. Brodie laced his fingers together and covered over it casually. Julian’s leg moved, rubbing against his. Brodie was about to combust. The twitching in his cock was making him crazy. Taking a quick glance, he noticed Julian’s chinos were bulging. Rubbing his eyes in agony, Brodie wished one of them had the damn guts to say something. Something that meant, “Christ, let me suck the damn thing!”
“Is the dinner tonight formal?”
Brodie couldn’t care less about the damn dinner. “I have no idea.”
“I hope not. I don’t want to hear about the fucking tux again.”
They grew silent. More family groups and couples passed. As they did Brodie wondered if they assumed he and Julian were a gay couple. Did they look like they were? Two pretty boys? Hm? He smiled at the thought.
“You going on an excursion when we hit Juneau?”
Brodie emerged out of his fantasy life to answer. “I don’t know. Are you?”
“I’d like to. I mean, I assumed we took the cruise up this way to see Alaska. At least I did.”
“Are you going with, uh, Amelia, is it?”
Julian’s face soured.
“If she’s not interested, I’ll go with you.” Brodie hoped the witch got a case of food poisoning.
“Oh. Cool. I’d appreciate that. She didn’t seem receptive when I mentioned it. She just moaned about the weather and wished we were in the Bahamas.”
“Christ, she’s Melanie’s twin.”
“Melanie?”
“The girlfriend who ditched me.”
“Oh, right.” Julian pushed down on his crotch casually.
Brodie knew damn well why. Think! Think! He felt like pounding his head with the heel of his palm. There must be someplace to go on this boat to pin Julian to a wall and kiss his fucking lips. Knowing his cabin was always available, Brodie tried to come up with a ruse to get him there. There just was no plausible excuse. Brokeback Mountain? Jesus!
~
Julian was going completely insane. He couldn’t even look at the man anymore. Peering down at his own lap, seeing a slight, damp stain appear on the beige material, Julian rolled his eyes in humiliation. He was so fricken hard he was about to die. Making the mistake of touching himself had squeezed a juicy drop of pre-come out of his dick. How absolutely mortifying was that?
Just tell Brodie you want to see his cabin. Make something up!
Two women walked by, giggling flirtatiously as they passed. Just as Julian averted their eyes, Brodie muttered, “We should just hold hands so these idiots think we’re taken.”
Whipping his head towards Brodie, Julian visualized grabbing Brodie’s hand and bringing it to his lips. When Brodie’s blue-eyed gaze contacted his, Brodie whispered in apology, “Sorry. Dumb idea.”
“You…” Julian’s throat closed up, but he pushed through it. “You have a window in your cabin?”
Brodie’s face lit up. “No. Want to see it?”
“Uh, sure.”
~
Yes! Yes! Brodie hopped off the deck chair, almost asking Julian to race him to it. Tag, you’re it! Trying not to sprint to show how anxious he was to be in a room alone with Julian, Brodie stuffed his hands into his pockets, strolling along, whistling, anything to appear nonchalant and not overeager. Besides, what if Julian was just interested in the cabin? That was always a possibility. Maybe he’d paid for one with a view. Idle curiosity. If that was the fact, how would Julian react to a pass? Brodie had been punched before. He wasn’t afraid of a belt in the jaw.
Nearing the central staircase, Brodie informed Julian as they descended, “I’m down on the main floor, at the bottom of the ship. You know. Cheap room.”
Nodding, Julian replied, “So are we.”
“Oh.” Almost saying, “then our rooms are most likely the same,” Brodie bit his lip at utter the stupidity of that line and kept moving.
His keycard in hand, Brodie opened the door, took a quick gander around the hall, slipping inside as if they were indeed sneaking.
The moment that cabin door shut tight, Brodie’s nerves kicked in. Tossing the key on the desk, he said, “Well, here it is. Two twin beds and a head.”
“Yup. Same as ours. Only ours are pushed together.”
“Lucky guy,” Brodie sneered.
“Is that her luggage?” Julian pointed to a pink floral bag. “I sure as shit hope it isn’t yours.”
“Funny. Yes, but check this out.” Brodie opened it, setting it on a bed. “Newspapers. You believe her?”
“Oh man, that’s cruel. Why don’t you toss that nasty thing overboard?”
“I wish I could toss a nasty thing called Melanie overboard.” Brodie zipped it up, throwing it down on the floor.
“I’m sorry, Brodie. It must have been horrible being dumped like that.”
“I don’t really want to talk about it.” Well, since they were alone and no one was making a move, Brodie asked, “You ready for a drink?” Waiting for a reply, Brodie was about to pick up his key when he noticed Julian’s hand moving to his crotch. A small stain was visible alongside the flap of the zipper though Julian attempted to conceal it. Slowly absorbing the implications of that damp spot, Brodie caught those blue eyes appearing terrified at being found out.
“Maybe we can call room service.” Brodie was going completely insane. They both wanted it, yet neither of them were willing to make that first move. Maybe if they were drunk they could blame it on the booze. No harm, no foul.
Trying to function with all the blood in his body racing to his dick, Brodie picked up the phone. “What the hell’s the number for room service again?”
“Brodie.”
The breathy sound of Julian’s voice made the hairs rise on Brodie’s body. He set the telephone back in its cradle and slowly turned around.
Julian was trembling visibly. But through that fear, he opened up his hands, palms forward, in what appeared to Brodie as an invitation.
Swallowing hard as his mouth watered at the opportunity, Brodie didn’t know what to do. He knew what he wanted, but he still felt as if something needed to be clarified. “Julian, what…what exactly?”
“I don’t know.” Julian shook his head. “All I know is I’m fucking hard as a rock.”
Instantly Brodie’s gaze dropped. That stain appeared to be growing. If it weren’t for his jeans, he was certain his crotch would look the same. As if pleading, waiting for Brodie to make the first move, Julian hissed his name again, boldly opening the top button of his slacks.
“Oh God.” Can I do this? It was one thing to pretend, to fantasize, but could he actually touch another man?
“No? No way?” Julian shook his head, as if asking, trying to read Brodie’s expression.
Even in the tiny room, Brodie had to take a step closer to Julian to be able to make contact with him. He took that step, thinking it was a giant leap for mankind. Where should he begin? What were they expecting from each other?
Since Brodie was bold enough to close the gap separating them, Julian made the next tentative move, touching Brodie’s arm. At the light caress, Brodie melted. And this man hadn’t even gone near his cock yet. Closing his eyes, Brodie let out a hiss of air at the yearning that was unbearably strong, stronger than any impulse he’d ever felt before. Jul
ian is willing! Do something!
Julian’s hand slid down Brodie’s forearm to his wrist. Brodie felt his body go into meltdown. His hand was clasped just as he imagined it would have been on the deck a moment earlier. He gripped Julian’s palm tightly, petrified of doing anything that may have consequences down the road. If I do this? Am I gay? Can I go back to not being gay? Is this permanent? Like a tattoo announcing what I really want and feel?
“Brodie,” Julian whispered again, as if pleading, meeting his eyes.
The chills ran up Brodie’s spine when Julian repeated his name. It made him want to get on his knees and suck him. Hard. “Are…are you sure, Julian?” Why was he asking such a stupid question?
“I’m not sure of anything, Brodie.”
The reply was too predictable. It made Brodie feel like an idiot. Julian’s hand clenched his in a vice hold.
Brodie forced himself to look deeply into Julian’s blue eyes. The man was outstanding. Absolutely amazing. With his right hand, Brodie touched Julian’s cheek, cupping it softly.
Another visible tremor passed over Julian’s body. Brodie wanted to kiss him. Should I? Should I just lean in and try it? Kiss a guy? Kiss Julian Richards on his first maiden voyage into what, gay Alaska?
He was leaning that way. Closer, the scent of Julian’s cologne, his body, everything was turning Brodie on so much, if anything even brushed his cock he’d come. Making a feeble attempt, Brodie used the hand cupping Julian’s face to raise his jaw up. Closing his eyes, Brodie allowed his lips to brush Julian’s. The zing of pleasure raced right to the tip of his cock. Julian moaned as if he were in pain. Straddling Julian’s legs for better balance, since even a feather could topple him over at this point, Brodie pressed his lips more assertively against Julian’s mouth. It was so hot, their lips touching that way, Brodie felt a swoon washing over him, making his knees shiver. Pausing, parting from him, Brodie asked, “Okay?”
“Yes,” Julian whimpered, his hand giving Brodie’s another clenched squeeze.
Brodie went for another kiss. At least it was a starting point. This time he licked his first, wetting them. Pressing against Julian’s mouth again, Julian’s lips parted. Brodie’s cock throbbed like mad. He wanted to release it. The feeling of it being trapped was maddening. When their tongues touched, Brodie thought he’d lose consciousness. Parting from the kiss, panting, he met Julian’s horrified expression.
“What’s wrong?” Julian gasped.
“I have to sit down.” Brodie dragged Julian with him onto the single bed. His knees were shaking. He couldn’t stand on this rocking ship and have his knees quivering. He’d fall over.
Okay, where were we? Facing Julian full on, Brodie closed his eyes and went back to that mouth. This time it was already open and eager. Slowly the timid tongue touching seemed to grow more relaxed. The essence of testosterone was overwhelming Brodie’s senses. The roughness of Julian’s jaw, his scent, the strength of Julian’s mouth and tongue, the masculine moaning and sighing was making Brodie’s head spin, and not just the one on his shoulders. Crazy thoughts passed through his mind. How long do we have to do this? Could we kiss like this all night? Would anyone miss us? Amelia? Does Julian even care?
Snapping back to reality and the mouth he was attached to, a man’s mouth, mind you, Brodie found they had fallen into a pattern of tongue swirling. Imagining that tongue on his cock, and vice versa, was making Brodie’s head hurt. You are gay you asshole! Did you ever kiss a woman like this? Was your cock ever this fucking hard?
But even as his internal dialogue accused him, Brodie felt terrified of the truth.
They parted. Panting, catching their breaths.
“Holy shit,” Julian whispered.
“No kidding!” Brodie’s chest was rising and falling like he’d run laps on the top deck.
“I swear, Brodie, I never kissed a man before.”
“Me neither, Julian. Christ, I am so fucking hard.”
~
Julian knew what he wanted to do, but some little voice in his head was scaring him to death, calling him names. And there was Amelia to consider. Once he and Brodie passed the point of no return, which in Julian’s opinion they already had by swapping spit, where did this leave him? Gay? Am I now a gay man? Gay lifestyle? Buying gay magazines? Going to gay clubs? What the fuck am I now?
Brodie was shifting on the bed. Julian knew they were both dealing with unbearable hard-ons. If any more moisture seeped through his chinos, he’d have to change them.
“What now?’
“How the hell should I know?” Brodie panted, unable to catch his breath.
Feeling as if he may have already crossed some imaginary line, Julian rested his hand on Brodie’s thigh. The moment he did, Brodie’s body tensed up and his breathing went into overdrive.
“If you touch me I’ll cream,” Brodie warned.
Lowering his eyes to Brodie’s tight jeans, Julian could see his cock pressing hard against the fabric. Smoothing up that long muscular leg, Julian stopped before actually cupping Brodie’s cock. Using the side of his hand, he pushed against it, moving it.
“My God,” Brodie moaned. “What the hell are we doing? Are we insane?”
“Obviously.” Julian nudged the huge mound again, watching it shift to the side and return again.
“Does this mean we’re fucking gay?”
“Probably.” Julian knocked his knuckles into that amazing bulge again.
“Christ. I can’t be a fag. I swear I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“But who will know?” Julian asked, wanting to grab that big dick and squeeze. “Just you and me. That’s it. So what if we mess around a little? Most people do things that are out of the ordinary on trips like this. You know, that attitude of I’ll never see these people again.”
“We live twenty minutes away from each other.”
“So? I’m never in Bellevue. We never have to see each other again.”
Brodie appeared to be considering it.
“Well?”
“Well what? What do you want to do?”
Julian knew damn well he wanted to suck Brodie dry. He just didn’t know what Brodie’s reaction would be if he actually vocalized it.
~
Brodie looked down at his lap as that large, masculine hand kept nudging his dick. Knowing someone had to do something or they’d be hard for hours, Brodie dropped back on the mattress, his feet still planted on the floor, and opened his jeans up, releasing his bent cock. Once again his body going completely haywire, Brodie couldn’t contain his breathing.
~
The shock of seeing that enormous penis sticking out of Brodie’s jeans was like a punch in the gut. It was the first man’s penis he had seen in person since showering in baseball practice as a teen, and most certainly the first erect one. It was long and blushing with color. A glistening drop hung at the tip. The urge to shove it down his throat was making Julian writhe where he sat staring at it. Glancing briefly at Brodie’s expression, seeing him looking directly back, Julian assumed it was now up to him to actually do something. After all, Brodie had initiated the kiss, and now he was the first to expose himself. As if he were about to touch a live wire, Julian prepared himself. Lying on his side, he gave Brodie’s posture and sex appeal another good once over as his hand hovered near that enormous dick. Timidly he wrapped his hand around the shaft. Brodie’s hips elevated off the bed, pushing into Julian’s palm. Swallowing his anxiety, Julian tried to erase all the negative thoughts out of his head and pretend this was just some frolic into the unknown. He’d experimented with women, why couldn’t he experiment with a man? No one needed to know. No one.
Making another sweep of Brodie’s amazing body and face, Julian pumped Brodie’s cock a few times. More drops appeared at the head.
~
Brodie was going insane. Every fiber in his body screamed out for an orgasm. And that shy hand wasn’t moving fast enough to give him one. It was torture. Arching his back, pushing up
into that hot palm, Brodie didn’t know what else he could do to beg for more friction, other than vocalizing it, which would be embarrassing. But having this male hand around his dick was the most amazing experience he had ever had. Beautiful Julian Richards was lying next to him on a bed, jerking him off. How many times did he fantasize a man touching him? Sneak peeks at Paden and Tim when they kissed hello and goodbye? Too many.
Julian’s thumb rubbed through the sticky drops on the tip of his dick, massaging the slit and making Brodie squirm in ecstasy. Brodie felt his balls tighten. He was so close, so damn close.
~
Julian licked his lips. He wanted to taste that drop. See what it would feel like on his tongue. Biting his lip, imagining sucking the juice out of that hard cock, Julian felt his own longing growing out of control. Oh, fuck it! He went down on Brodie, pushing that mushroom shaped head into his mouth. He lapped at that salty drop and felt Brodie’s attempt at getting in, deep and fast. Resisting at first, Julian finally relaxed his jaw, allowing Brodie the penetration he must be craving. Knowing damn well a shot of come was looming in the near future, Julian kept asking himself if he should back off, let it drop onto Brodie’s belly. By the time he decided, yes, suck it, swallow, Brodie warned, “I’m coming.”
As if waiting for the recoil of a gun, Julian sucked harder, faster, and Brodie’s cock went into an explosion of pulsating and throbbing.
~
Brodie was astounded. “You sucked it,” he panted, “You sucked it.” OhmyGod! I’m gonna die! That was the most amazing fucking thing I have ever experienced!
Julian’s cheeks blushed as if he were ashamed. Brodie sat up, grabbed his face and kissed him, lapping at the flavor of his own come from Julian’s mouth. Julian grunted in shock as Brodie tugged him down on the bed. Brodie rolled on top, pinning him to the mattress, rubbing his exposed dick on Julian’s beige bulge. “Oh Christ, Julian, it was unbelievable.”
Julian blinked up at him in awe at his reaction.
Biting his top lip, Brodie sat up, slid back on Julian’s thighs, opening those slacks up and yanking down the zipper. Feeling as if the moment had come that he had been waiting for for twenty-eight years, Brodie dove down on Julian’s erection and sucked it to the base.