He hadn't slept for more than three or four hours, and every time he did feel an urge to eat he always ended up puking it right back up.
“I-I don't understand . . . Where are you?”
Mildred sighed. “I know. I should have called you sooner. I'm sorry, but I did want to tell you that I had a wonderful time.”
Tony looked at the phone. The bitch must be crazy, he thought.
Truly puzzled, Tony repeated himself. “I don't understand.”
“What?” Mildred said innocently. “I said I had a wonderful time.”
Was he dreaming? Was she just going to ignore the fact that she'd left him there on the beach, naked?
“I woke up and you weren't there.”
“Where?”
Yeah, she was crazy!
Tony tried to keep his tone calm, but it was a struggle. “On the beach. I woke up naked on the beach, and you weren't there. I thought you'd drowned!”
Mildred was quiet for a moment.
“You woke up on the beach? That's funny. I left you at the house and took a taxi back to my hotel.”
Tony gave his head a violent shake. “What? What are you talking about?”
Mildred started to repeat herself: “I left you—”
“I heard what you said, I just don't know why you're saying it!”
“I'm saying it because it's true.” Mildred's voice remained low, even. “We made love on the beach and it was beautiful, and then we walked down to your house. You tried to get me to stay, but I wouldn't, and so I tucked you into bed and called the cab—”
“Then where are my clothes!”
“I don't like to be yelled at, Tony. Please don't do that.”
Tony grumbled, “Sorry.”
“I put them in the washing machine. They were full of sand.”
“You put them in the washing machine, huh?” Tony said as he marched back to the laundry room and flipped the lid of the machine up.
“Hello?” Mildred called. “Do you see them there?”
“Y-yeah.”
Tony couldn't believe his eyes, so he reached in and pulled out first his boxers, then the pants, followed by the shirt.
“I put your wallet in the nightstand drawer, along with your watch and your keys.”
He'd never in life been so fucked up that he couldn't remember anything he'd done the previous night.
But that still didn't explain why he woke up naked on the beach.
“But I don't understand,” he said as he moved to the bedroom and opened the nightstand drawer. “How did I end up back on the beach?”
Mildred took a long moment before she replied. “Well, I've read that sometimes a heavy conscience can cause some people to sleepwalk.”
CHAPTER
Fifty-seven
The next time they met, Tony pressed Mildred to tell him where it was she was staying. By then of course she and Chevy had decided that it would be better if Mildred moved into Chevy's bungalow, which sat down the road from the property grounds.
The kitchen was so small, one could barely turn around in it, but that didn't stop Mildred from preparing a lavish meal for Tony. Before either of them knew it, another two weeks had passed and Tony and Mildred were spending most of their free time together.
The murderous thoughts Mildred was having about Tony had begun to melt away and were replaced by fantasies of her living the rest of her life in Barbados as Karma Jackson . . . and maybe Karma Jackson-Landry.
She'd begun to make excuses as to why he'd done her the way he did. It was my fault, she told herself. I was fat, ugly, and desperate. She even fooled herself into believing that had she been in Tony's position, she would have done the same thing.
It wasn't until Chevy approached her about the Web sites Mildred had visited on her laptop that she was able to put things back into perspective.
“Hey,” Chevy said as she stood outside Mildred's bedroom door.
“Hey,” Mildred called back. She was checking her makeup in the small oval mirror that hung on the wall above the dresser.
“Going out with Tony again?”
“Yep.”
“Uh-huh,” Chevy said as she walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed. “You two are certainly spending a lot of time together.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Chevy crossed her legs. “But you're still intending on breaking his heart, right?”
Mildred was gliding lipstick over her lips. She raised her eyes and caught a glimpse of the cynical expression on Chevy's face.
Her response was casual. “Of course.”
“Really?”
Mildred turned around to face her. Placing one hand on her hip, she said, “What, you don't believe me?”
How could Chevy believe her when she didn't even believe herself?
“Well, I'm a little confused,” Chevy started, looking thoughtfully down at her hands. “It seems as though you've been visiting a lot of Web sites that provide information for people who want to legally change their name.”
“So, what's wrong with that?” Mildred said in a huff as she walked across the room and snatched her shawl from the corner chair. “I've changed my look—why not my name?”
Chevy continued to inspect her hands. “There's nothing at all wrong with that, but I also see that you've ear-marked a site that gives information about just how long someone needs to be on the island before she can be legally wed here.”
Mildred wrapped the shawl around her shoulders and then exploded in anger.
“That's my personal business!”
“Not if you pursue it on my computer, it's not.”
“Why are you spying on me?”
“Why are you fooling yourself into believing that this man can love anyone besides himself?”
“He's changed.”
“No, he hasn't.”
“You don't know. He's not like that person he was back in New York. You're not with us—you don't know the things he says, and you don't see how he looks at me!”
Chevy sighed. Women can be so foolish, she thought as she slowly turned around and looked at Mildred, who was shaking all over with frustration.
“Don't you see, Mildred? He's telling you the same thing he told you in New York, except now he's telling it to Karma Jackson.”
Mildred was defiant. “Karma Jackson is not Mildred Johnson!”
Chevy rose from the bed, walked over to Mildred, and took her hand in hers. “Come here,” she said as she led her back to the mirror.
Together they stood staring at their reflections. “You may not look in that mirror and see Mildred Johnson, but she's still there,” Chevy said as she placed her hand on Mildred's chest and tapped her finger against her skin, “in there.”
Mildred closed her eyes and tried to fight back the tears she knew would tell Chevy that she was right.
“So I think you have a few choices here: One, fess up and tell him who you really are. Two, pack your things, go home, and get on with your life. Or three, finish what you started out to do. But you have to make a decision, because fooling Tony is one thing, and after it's all said and done, he'll recover. But fooling yourself will leave you scarred for life.”
CHAPTER
Fifty-eight
Mildred took Chevy's words to heart but told her that she had to think about things and that she would come to a decision over the next couple of days.
Now she and Tony watched as the concrete spilled out of the large rotating end of the truck. The day had finally arrived. The foundation of the house was being poured.
“Shit,” Tony mumbled under his breath.
“What?” Mildred turned to him and asked.
Tony shook his head in amazement and he gave her hand a tender squeeze. “I can't believe it's finally happening,” he said, his voice choked with emotion.
“Well, baby,” she purred, turning to him and resting her cheek on his shoulder, “you've worked hard for it.”
Back at Tony's rental house, they lo
unged on the veranda, sipping champagne. They'd already consumed one bottle and now they were on their second and Tony was giddy with drunken happiness.
“You know, Karma,” he started, leaning over and reaching for the bottle of bubbly, “I can't remember ever being so happy. So satisfied.”
Mildred was wearing a cream and brown miniskirt, and Tony's eyes were temporarily lost in the curve of her thigh before he continued. “I never knew that I could feel this way about any place or . . . any person.”
His eyes found hers and his gaze was penetrating.
“I don't know if it's this place or you or the combination of the two. I just know that I am so fucking happy and I don't want to be without this feeling . . . ever.”
He was up on his feet, his hand stretched out to her.
“Take my hand, Karma.”
Mildred slowly placed her hand in his. He gently pulled her up and to him. His hands were warm on her bare back.
“I love you, Karma.”
Mildred closed her eyes. He had said it.
Tony had finally said it, and its legitimacy was evident in his tone and in his touch. Now that she had a comparison, she knew for sure that the first time had been a complete and utter lie.
“Did you hear me, Karma?” he asked as he pulled her closer to him. “I love you and I want us to be together forever.”
Mildred pulled slightly away from him. His eyes were full of sincerity. And it was real this time, not the bootleg version.
Chevy was right. She had to make a decision.
“I love you too, Tony.”
CHAPTER
Fifty-nine
You're a sick puppy, Chevy.”
“No, I just know what the hell I'm doing.”
Mildred stared at the wand.
“Where in the world did you get this?”
Chevy sighed. Mildred always asked too many questions.
“I have my sources.”
“Eeewwww,” Mildred cried, and shrank away as Chevy pushed the wand at her. “Someone has pissed on that! I don't want to touch it.”
Chevy glared at her. “She didn't pee on the handle, stupid. Now take it!”
Mildred hesitated for a second more and then slowly raised her hand and took the handle of the wand between her thumb and index finger.
“Don't drop it,” Chevy warned. “Now, you know what to do?”
Mildred, still eyeing the wand with disgust, nodded.
“And you better make it believable!”
Mildred started toward the bathroom. How could she not make it believable? Who would guess that she'd gotten a hold of a used pregnancy test as a prop for her diabolical plan? Shit, she didn't even believe it.
Chevy looked at her watch. “Okay, I gotta go,” she announced, walking toward the door. “Call me later, if you can.”
Mildred laid the washcloth down on the sink edge and then rested the wand on the washcloth, before washing her hands three times in scalding water.
Moving back into the kitchen, she looked up at the clock. It was almost six. Tony would arrive in the next half hour or so. She didn't have much time to get a lie together.
But then, why worry? She had become a champion liar. Mildred supposed living a double life would do that to some people, but now she worried that she might even be pathological.
“You ready?” asked Tony, rolling down the car window. Mildred had been waiting in the doorway for him.
“Well, yes and no.” Mildred's face was laced with mischief.
“What's going on?”
“Nothing, really—I just need you to come inside for a second.”
Tony's face went gray. “Is she in there?”
He didn't much like Chevy.
Mildred shook her head no.
Tony hesitated for a moment and then climbed out of the car. “Okay, but just for a minute.”
Taking him by the hand, Mildred led him over to the couch and sat down beside him. She playfully knocked his thigh with her own.
“What's going on?”
“You love me?” Mildred asked.
Tony laughed, falling back into the cushions of the couch. “What, the forty times a day I tell you ain't enough?”
“Do you love me?”
“Okay, I love you for the forty-first time today!” Tony joyfully bellowed.
“Good,” Mildred said, and then exhaled before folding her hands in her lap. Her expression went serious and Tony became concerned.
“What is it, baby—what do you need to tell me?”
“I-I think it's better if I showed you,” Mildred said as she reached for the washcloth that sat on the sofa table. Slowly she unfolded the material.
Tony looked down at the long white piece of plastic. It took a minute for him to realize exactly what it was and then another minute to comprehend what the tiny green plus sign meant.
“Pregnant? You're pregnant?” he said unbelievingly.
Mildred nodded. “Are you happy?”
“But how . . . When . . . ? We're always safe. We use condoms.”
Mildred rested her head on his shoulder. “That first night, on the beach, remember?”
It slowly came back to him.
“Oh, yeah. Wow.”
“You didn't answer me, Tony.”
“W-what?”
“Are you happy?”
He figured that if he wasn't in a state of shock he would be able to feel the happiness. He loved this woman, so that happiness had to be there, somewhere beneath the astonishment.
“Yes, yes, of course I am.”
They were both quiet as Tony guided the car around a shadowy curve. Lost in his thoughts, he tossed around his options and found that he had only one.
It was time to fess up to things. He was going to be a father.
A father? It sounded so strange to him.
He was going to have to be responsible for someone other than himself, and to tell the truth, that scared the shit out of him.
But what was done was done. He loved Karma—loved her laugh, her smile, her spirit, and the mystery that swirled all around her.
They were both on the same path, running from a former life. Tony supposed that made them a perfect match.
And it was true what she said about his conscience. It was heavy, and he didn't want to go into his new role with all of that heaviness—he would tell her about what he did back in New York and trust that if she loved him enough to carry his child, she loved him enough to carry his secret too.
CHAPTER
Sixty
Three days after Mildred announced her mock pregnancy to Tony, Chevy watched from the corner of the bedroom as Mildred packed her suitcase.
Chevy didn't know if this was the best thing for Mildred to do.
Moving in with the enemy?
Fucking him was one thing, deceiving him was another, but cohabitating could introduce a whole set of problems that neither one of them had factored in to the plan.
“I don't know, Mildred. I just think it might be a mistake.”
Mildred flung outfit after outfit into the open suitcase.
“Oh, it's the right time, all right,” she huffed as she snatched open a dresser drawer and began tossing in her underwear.
Chevy cocked her head to one side. “Why are you so wound up then?”
Mildred shook her head in frustration. “You—you didn't hear what he said about Mildred—I mean, me.”
Chevy's back straightened. “What did he say?”
Mildred stopped, her chest heaving. “He was so smug, so fucking smug about the entire thing—” Mildred stopped, wiped a tear from her cheek. “He was like, I did this thing in New York, something that I'm not proud of, but what's done is done and maybe it was destiny, because I met you and . . .”
Mildred paused again. Chevy could tell from the expression on her face that Mildred was replaying the entire scene in her head.
“I just can't believe it,” she muttered.
“Believe what? What did he
say?”
Mildred took a deep breath. “Well, he didn't seem to want to tell me the whole sordid story, but I pushed and he finally did.” She took another deep breath. “He said that he'd used this woman to get ahead financially. I asked what the woman's name was and he said Mildred. I asked what did she look like, and he said she looked like a pig on steroids and every time he looked at her he felt sick to his stomach!”
Chevy's eyes popped.
“I told him that real beauty lies on the inside, and Tony said he wasn't interested in what was on the inside of Mildred Johnson.”
Chevy stayed quiet.
“I said, ‘Didn't you even care for her a tiny, itty-bitty bit?’ and he said, ‘Not one ounce’! And,” Mildred barked, pointing her index finger up in the air, “he lied. He said that this whole thing happened years ago.”
Chevy raised her eyebrows, “Really?”
“Yep. Years ago when he was still shallow and immature. And how he would never do anything like that now. Liar!”
Chevy smiled. “You see? A leopard doesn't change his stripes.”
“Spots.”
“What?”
“A leopard has spots, not stripes.”
“Whatever,” Chevy said, waving her hand. “A dog is still a dog.”
CHAPTER
Sixty-one
He'd grabbed her as soon as she stepped into the house, then pressed her up against the wall and covered her face in kisses.
“Tony, wait.” She laughed breathlessly as he dragged her to the bedroom.
“I've got to have you,” he said as he began stripping her clothes from her body. “I've been thinking about you all day long.” He used his teeth to pull her thong off.
Mildred giggled. She loved being ravished.
When he was naked he dove on top of her, taking her breasts into his mouth and sucking her nipples hungrily. Mildred reached down and took hold of his penis, expertly gliding her hand up and down the shaft until Tony thought he would burst.
“Put it in, baby, please,” he begged.
Mildred eased him inside of her. She was sopping wet and Tony shivered with pleasure.
“Damn, baby . . . oh, baby . . .” Tony moaned into her ear as he pushed himself deeper inside her. “I love you, I love you,” he mumbled into her neck.
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