by Hilary Storm
I leave the area knowing Luke will follow me out. This is awkward, and I don't even want to hear him complain about Garrett or start dogging him. It's a known fact that Luke doesn't like Garrett, but he doesn't have to approve of who I see. It would be easier if he did, but it isn't a requirement.
"You really like that bastard, don't you?"
"Ehh. It's Garrett. He's fun to hang out with. I'm not sure anything will ever come of it, but I may as well have some fun in the process." He drops the subject of Garrett and attempts to make small talk while we travel to the hotel. There are a couple of times I'm screaming in my head for him to just ask me to stay with him.
Just ask me to stay. Please. I want that more than anything.
Luke
I can't believe she wants to spend time with him. He's such a pompous ass who disrespects women all the time. I may get around, but I always treat the ladies right. Telling her how I feel again will only cause more problems between us. It's time I leave her alone about him, but I'll be watching closely. If I see a single sign that he disrespects her, I'll rearrange his face.
Our ride to the hotel is quiet. I wish I could say something to make her reevaluate what she's about to do, but she's made it clear what she wants. In the grand scheme of things, it's just a road trip with him. Maybe she'll realize his lack of worth and I'll never have to worry about this again.
"How much time do you have?"
"Not long. I'd like to hurry and shower again if at all possible."
"Yeah. No problem."
When we hit the room, she begins to scurry around for the shower. I stand still and watch her scattered thoughts leave her almost ridiculously giddy about leaving soon.
The sound of the water again reminds me just how close, yet so far away she really is. I could go into the bathroom and push my way into the shower with her. That's exactly what I want to do, but that wouldn't be fair to her. She needs to be able to step out of our circle and have a good time with other guys. It's just not supposed to suck this bad for me.
She turns off the water and I hope she makes another appearance like she did before, but she doesn't. She comes out of the bathroom fully dressed, but to my satisfaction she's wearing a hoodie and sweat pants. This isn't screaming sexy and I'm happy to see that it’s how she'll be going to Garrett.
"Just text me when you guys are about an hour from location tomorrow. I'll watch for you and try to get as much of the small stuff out of the way during the day."
"I will, but I'm texting you through the night to make sure you make it okay."
"You don't have to. I'll be with their whole crew."
"Exactly why I'll be checking on you."
"Don't start, Luke." She seems irritated as she checks her phone for the message that just came through.
"They're here. I guess I'll see you tomorrow." I move to open the door for her and watch her walk out of my room. The instant regret of not trying to stop her fucks me over the rest of the night. Choosing not to leave my hotel room is easy. Dealing with the shit going through my head, not so much.
The next day goes by slow as hell. Aiden and a couple of the other guys attempt to brighten my mood with no success. I know I suck to be around, but I really don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me right now. I haven't texted her, trying to give her the privacy she deserves. She should've checked in, but she hasn't. We're almost two hours from location, so I'm trying to hold out until we're closer to text her.
This shit shouldn't be irritating me so hard, but it is.
Damn it.
Chapter Ten
Lilly
He made himself clear. I'm going to enjoy myself with Garrett and the guys. I know this can be a great trip if I let it be.
He's standing outside the bus when I walk out. His greeting doesn't surprise me this time—I could get used to his kisses and show of affection. He's a great kisser, not as good as Luke, but none the less he's great at it. The other guys start to yell obscenities at us, and he pauses to look me in the eye before he turns to nail their asses. His efforts only gain laughter, but it doesn't seem to faze him in the least.
"Did you dress up for me?"
"You like it?"
"You can wear whatever you want with me. I'll just try to get you out of it anyway." He's always the flirt. It feels nice to be wanted like this. He's never hidden his attraction to me, sometimes coming across as an egotistical ass when making his comments.
"Very funny."
"Honey. I'm not joking." I know he's not joking, so I start to step toward the bus to face these grown men that are sure to act like idiots when I open this door.
To my surprise, they don't harass me. They invite me for a shot and make a place for me at the table to play quarters. I've never been great at this game, but I'm willing to give it a shot.
"Ladies first!" Garrett sits down beside me just as the bus begins to roll. A few rounds go by, and so far, I'm not doing too bad. I spread the shots around to each guy when I make the glass, but it isn't long before they all begin to zone in on me. I know it's not a great idea to get trashed in a bus full of guys, no matter how well I know them, so I pull from the game.
"I'm out."
"What? I knew you couldn't hang." Grayson seems to be leading the bash Lilly campaign tonight. I'm sure it's all out of fun, but I can see this quickly turning into a nightmare if I keep this up.
"Yeah. I'm zapped. I need to sleep soon." Garrett runs his hand up my leg, straight for my crotch area. Trying not to cause a scene, I grab his hand to hold in my lap instead.
The guys all continue the game, and within an hour, they're all ridiculous and loud. My stomach hurts because of the laughter from their hysterical reenactments of stories from their past. We stay up until 3:30 in the morning like this.
Garrett finally speaks up about going to bed. He pulls my arm until I follow him into the tiny back room. The feeling is all too familiar and I drop on the bed, taking up the side of the bed I slept on before.
He begins to strip out of his clothes, so I turn to watch him, wondering if he'll go all the way down to nothing. Oh, yeah he does.
He crawls onto the mattress and proceeds until he is over me.
"Do you plan on staying in those sweats all night?" I can't hide the grin on my face. I like his forwardness, but am I really ready for this? What's holding me back? I'm not in an exclusive relationship. Garrett is hot and definitely in to me. Why not have a great night of sex with this man?
I begin to slide the waistband down my legs and pull the shirt over my head. Lying here in my bra and panties is a whole different situation. Now I can feel his eyes scrape over my skin and it's making me feel self-conscious. I know he's been with beautiful women in his time, so I don't need him to see my flaws.
"Turn out the light." He does what I ask and returns, all hands and mouth. He leaves no space on my body untouched and sends me through my orgasm before his own release. I know I shouldn't be comparing the two, but he's no comparison to Luke. I'm going to hell for thinking like this while I'm still in the arms of a man who’s trying really hard to make me happy.
Sleeping comes easily and morning shows up way too quickly. I begin to stretch and notice he's not in the bed anymore. I check my phone for messages only to not find a single one. Luke was supposed to check on me, but he hasn't sent any messages. I told him not to start any crap, so I guess this is his way of keeping the peace.
Hearing laughter, I climb off the mattress to get dressed. I see the proof of our time together on the window ledge. Wrapping it up in toilet paper, I toss it in the trash of the tiny bathroom. My face in the mirror disgusts me, so I try to freshen up some. It's nearly impossible to do anything about it while we travel down the road.
I do what I can and then start to open the door. I stop moving when I hear their voices.
"Another notch on your sticks, huh?"
"Yeah. She was a great add to the collection. Hand me that knife."
"Dude, your sticks are full
of slice marks. You're gonna have to start a new set soon."
"I'll make room. I have this whole side on this one open." I walk out just as he's running the blade across the wood. Is it possible to feel any lower about myself than right now? I'm just another skank to him. This is a huge blow to me, and I'm going to have to figure out how to get through the rest of this day dealing with this asshole. I can't believe I fucking let myself become like this.
I'm worth more than a quick lay.
"Are you really marking me off as one of your skanks?" He turns to look at me with a shitty expression on his face. I can tell this is not going to go well.
"Yeah. What did you think you were? Just another honey, sweet-ass fuck."
"Fuck you, Riggins."
"Nah. Already did that, babe."
"You're an asshole."
"Never said I wasn't"
"Where the fuck are we?"
"Between there and here somewhere."
"Stop the fucking bus."
"Chill out, babe. You really need to calm the fuck down."
"Stop the fucking bus before I make your fucking life hell."
"You really want to be dropped off in the middle of nowhere?"
"I'd rather be anywhere than with your ass. Fucking stop the bus, NOW."
He tells the driver to pull over and I don't waste any time stepping off the bus. I use my phone to locate where I am and begin to walk. Luckily, I'm only a mile from a small town. I should call the guys, but there's no way I want them to know what I've done.
I really deserve this. If you act like a ho, you can't get mad when you're treated like one. This feeling of filth is horrible. I'll never let this happen again.
Is it too much to ask to be important to someone? Why does it seem they all just want sex with no emotion? I need to feel connected and this isn't working out for me.
The mile walk isn't too bad. I'm thankful that I chose to wear my tennis shoes and not any of my heels. That would have been torture.
I walk into a convenience store and purchase a water. They have booths and a small diner, so I take a seat. I figure it's time to sort my thoughts out and get a plan.
I'm about thirty miles from the venue. I have eight hours to kill and the crew won’t be rolling into town for hours. Using my phone to search the internet, I find a car rental place not too far down the road. I call them to make sure they have a car available before I start to walk again. This walk is another two miles, but I welcome the time to think about things.
I'm really glad it's daylight and no one bothers me during my walk. What have I become? Is this really me, stranded in a strange town after just having meaningless sex with yet another rock star?
I take the car and begin to drive down the long, lonely highway. My thoughts consume me and I just keep driving. We have a break for four days coming up next week. Maybe I should take a break from everything and everyone during that time. I never want to let the guys down no matter how badly I want to skip out. We've worked so hard to get to this point.
I'm just bass guitar, they can do the show without me, but it wouldn't be complete. I decide to message Luke and tell him that I'm in the middle of nowhere. It's not safe for me to be out here like this and no one know where I am.
Lilly: You were right.
Luke: What happened?
Lilly: He's an asshole.
Luke: Are you ok?
Lilly: Yeah. I'm renting a car so I can get there tonight.
Luke: Where the fuck are you?
Lilly: A town named Henderson. I'm ok. I'll see you there tonight.
Luke: Damn it. From now on you stay with us. I'm going to kick his ass for letting you out of the bus.
Lilly: He didn't have a choice.
Luke: What the hell did he do to you?
Lilly: Nothing I didn't deserve.
Luke: This convo isn't over. I want to know how bad I'm going to beat his stupid ass.
Lilly: Luke, it's no big deal. I had it coming. It was just a blow to my ego. I was just another notch on his drum stick and it just hit me wrong. I had it coming.
His reply doesn't come for a while. It seems like he's forgotten about me, it takes him so long to come back with a message.
Luke: You deserve better.
Chapter Eleven
Luke
I'm losing my fucking mind right now. How the fuck can she just message saying she got off a bus in the middle of nowhere? I should've stopped her from going last night. Why the fuck I didn't, I'll never know. I message Garrett to see what the hell happened, with no response.
I'll kill his ass if he hurt her.
Holden tries to locate her and says she's in a small town named Henderson. She is obviously hours ahead of us and this will be a long-ass day of traveling and worrying about her.
I continue to text her throughout the day to check on her. She found a shopping mall and killed some hours there until we could pull into the parking lot to meet up with her. There was a rental car place nearby that we followed her to so she could drop off her car.
The tension was very high with all of us until we could see for ourselves that she made it alright. There hasn't been a second that’s gone by today that I haven't wished I had made more of an ass of myself to keep her at the hotel last night. I really feel like it still would've drove her to him, and then she wouldn't have felt like she could turn to me when he dumped her.
She steps onto the bus and everyone starts in on her. They all want to know the how, when, and where. The only thing that seems to be understood is the who before she begins to tell us all to drop it.
"What the hell, guys? It's all good. Yes, he's an asshole, but this is what happens when you go to bed with an asshole." I watch as the twins cringe from her words.
"You fucked Riggins. Shit, Lilly. This is out of control." Talon turns to walk toward the back of the bus. I can tell this is more than he really wants to know.
"You need to be more careful with these guys, Lilly. Unfortunately, most of them want only one thing." Holden tries a softer approach.
"I know men are scum. I'm not a young innocent thing myself. I just refuse to be treated like that." I can tell she's humiliated about everyone knowing her business. Staying out of the conversation, I make myself as scarce as you can in a bus full of people.
When it all calms down a bit, we begin to move again. This time, I have something to handle the second the wheels stop moving. Garrett will be there and I plan to deal with his ass directly.
We pull onto location and every one of us barrels off the bus to find that asshole. Garrett's smug ass is laid back with his arm over the back of the couch when we bust through the door.
"Who the fuck do you think you are, dropping her off on the side of the road?"
"She wanted off the bus some forty-five miles back. Calm the fuck down." There are four men charging his ass at once—he doesn't stand a chance. We all fight our way to him and Holden yanks him up with hardly any effort. The other members of Beckoning choose not to fuck with us.
"You're fucking lucky that she isn't hurt. I would gut your ass in a second. Do you understand me?" Holden's no nonsense demand mirrors my own thoughts. The rage in his voice matches the craze in his eyes.
"Let go of me or I'll be pressing assault charges on you." Holden adds an extra shove when he uncurls his fingers from the grip he has on Garrett. We all storm out of the room and begin to pace the floor.
I've never seen Holden this mad. We're all infuriated.
"She's safe. We have to trust in that and let her have her space." Eaven moves through the room, headed straight for Talon.
"What's our plan for tonight's show?" This time it's Aiden who speaks up, probably trying to calm everyone down.
"We go on as scheduled,” Talon says, looking in to Eaven's eyes. I hate this. I could've stopped all of this by tying her to the bed and holding her hostage. All of that sounds better than what we're dealing with right now.
The show isn't our greatest to date
. The tension between us and the guys of 'Beckoning Reality' proves to be too much for us to get past in such a short amount of time.
We have to somehow learn to deal with those bastards because this tour is full of piggyback nights with them. That asshole doesn't deserve to be near her, but we can't do a damn thing to stop it except threaten him.
He's cocky and seems to thrive on pissing her off. The way he's talking to her like she's a piece of trash one minute and then acting completely opposite the next has Lilly on edge.
Lilly
This is such a shitty day. I need it to be over, like hours ago. How embarrassing is this crap? I don't need these guys to fight my battles. I just wish they'd all stop with the damsel in distress shit. I'm fine.
It would be nice to take a shower and go to bed. That's all I need right now.
We are the first to go on tonight, so we load up immediately following and get the hell out of there. We check in to another hotel and I welcome the burn of the hot, hot water on my skin. I love how hotel showers never seem to lose hot water. You don't realize how important that is until nights like this.
Stepping out of the shower, I hear a knock on the door. I wrap up in my towel and check the peep hole. Luke is standing there waiting for me to open the door. I contemplate letting him in, but I really just need a night to myself. Will he be offended if I don't let him in?
His gorgeous smirk wins me over, so I open the door enough for me to just see him through the crack.
"Hey. What's up?"
"Just checking on you."
"I'm good. You guys need to stop worrying about me. I'm not the fragile little bitch you all have me pegged as."
"I know you're not, but I have the right to check on you."
"Luke, I'm really not in the mood tonight."