by Hilary Storm
Time was all I needed. Time is what I no longer have. Along with the memories comes the pressure in my chest and I have no choice but to get up out of this bed. For the first time in months tears actually fall for her. I stand by Lilly's guitar and let my head fall back against the wall. The slide down the wall shifts my shirt up my back and I wish the scratch was deeper so my focus could shift, but my pain remains deep inside.
I sit against the wall and lose it. All the numbness gone and the horrible pain taking over every feeling in my body.
I feel her hand run through my hair just as I inhale a deep breath. Her touch sends tingles across my scalp and I pause to just feel. It's been so long since I've been touched.
"Luke, who hurt you?" I refuse to answer her. There's only one answer. I did this to myself.
She lowers until she's sitting with me along the wall. Her simple gesture of holding my hand goes so much further than anything else she could've done. What's wrong with me? This girl lost a baby tonight, and I'm falling the fuck apart.
Neither of us say anything. We sit in the dark and I feel the swipe of her thumb across my fingers the entire time. It's oddly calming and that comforts me, but she doesn't need to be down here like this.
"You need to get off the floor and back in bed."
"I will when you do."
I decide to make it easy on us both and rise from the floor, pulling her up by the hand once I do. There's not many hours left to get some sleep, but a few hours will be better than nothing at this point.
We lie side by side; she pulls my hand into hers and begins to rub her thumb across mine.
Kimber
I wake to silence and an empty apartment. It doesn't surprise me, but knowing he feels comfortable leaving me in his apartment is strange. He's a little too trusting, not that I'd do anything, but many people would. This is California. If I ever see him again, I need to remind him of that.
I need to get out of here and get to my father before Greg decides to come looking for me. The thought of what he'd do if he saw me in this apartment has me jumping up to get ready. Trying to appear somewhat decent, I try to clean up. After everything I've been through, this could be difficult. My cramps remain dull and not near as bad as they were in the hospital last night. I know I passed the baby last night at the hospital. I sent Luke to the car when I felt it happening. He didn't need to witness my complete breakdown.
Looking in the mirror, you'd never know that my life was ruined last night. My cheek is slightly swollen, which doesn't reflect how sore it truly is. My eyes are a little puffy, but overall I look like I just had a rough night.
I can't believe the baby is gone. I had just come to terms with raising it on my own. Greg has been getting really territorial and over bearing the last few weeks. He has never hit me like this before, but he has pushed me a few times. Things have been progressing and I knew it was time to leave. I wanted to keep the baby safe and I wasn't sure how he'd react to me being pregnant in the first place.
I slide the shower door open in hopes of finding soap of some sort. Talk about basics. I've never seen anything like Luke's apartment. I almost feel sorry for his lack of belongings. It's as if he's moved in here with a duffle bag and two guitars.
I guess I should appreciate it, since this is exactly where I was headed with a baby in tow. To me, this meansl he's running from something. After his breakdown last night, I can only assume it's a girl that has him running. When a guy reacts like this, his heart is taken. There's no doubt in my mind there's a very lucky lady out there that has that man's heart, I just hope she knows how to handle it with the care he seems to need right now.
The water pressure feels good and I take a longer shower than I should have. The scent of his soap opens up my senses and for the first time since last night I feel like I can breathe. It isn't long and the cold water begins to force me out of the shower and I grab the only towel from the cabinet.
Getting dressed is challenging in this cramped space, but I manage. Once I'm fully covered, I open the door to let some of the steam escape and notice him in the metal chair.
"Hey. I didn't hear you come in."
"Yeah. You were in the shower."
"You know you really shouldn't just leave a stranger in your apartment."
"I didn't." His answer is matter of fact and quick.
"We just met yesterday."
"And we've been through more than some people go through in a lifetime." I can't even argue with that.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"I bought some eggs and a few things if you want something before you head out." I notice the 'you' in that sentence and begin to plan my path out of this place. I've inconvenienced him enough and it's time I let this guy have his space back.
"Nah. I think I'll just get something later."
"You need to eat. Don't you plan on driving most of the day?"
"Yes, after I get my money, I'm driving until I can't go any longer."
"Okay. So you need to eat."
"I hate to have you do any more for me."
"I'm making my own, so it's nothing." I watch him maneuver around the smallest kitchen in the world. I had no idea they had cook tops with only two burners. He seems so huge in such a tiny space.
"How long have you lived here?" His back is still turned to me and I start to notice more tattoos this morning than I acknowledged last night. I can tell his tank top is hiding one hell of a canvas, but I sit and take in all the ink that's visible.
"A few months." I would've guess it had been weeks with the way his apartment looks.
"You like things basic, huh?"
"Yeah. I guess more like simple. It was time to uncomplicate my life." My eyes move as he does. Did I just watch his tight ass when he bent over for something in a lower cupboard?
"I get that. You have no idea how much I relate to that." I battle the urge to ask him more information. This guy is deep and there's no way he'd open up to someone he just met. Besides, I'm not sure I can handle anyone else's struggles when I'm battling my own like this.
He makes enough scrambled egg whites to feed about ten people. I watch him scoop them onto two plates, obviously not an even portion on each.
"I hope you don't mind egg whites."
"Sounds perfect. Luke, thanks again for everything. Last night was hell.... and I have no idea how I would've made it to the hospital if you hadn't helped." Tears well up and I swallow hard trying to fight them back. I know everything will hit me soon, but I really need to try to keep it together until I'm away from him. He doesn't deserve to have to deal with the ball of emotion that I am.
"Quit saying thank you." He walks toward me with a plate in each hand. He stops mid step only a few feet from me for a second before he continues and I look down, hoping he misses the moisture in my eyes.
Taking the plate from his hand, I watch him try to avoid looking directly at my face, which only verifies that he saw exactly what I was hoping to hide. I sit in silence as he stands against the kitchen sink and begins to inhale his breakfast.
Chapter Four
Luke
Fuck. What in the hell is wrong with me? It took everything in me not to wipe that tear from her face. I can't go there. I've made it a point to avoid any emotions for months now and I'm not about to start feeling now. Last night fucking sucked and it's just easier to avoid that shit all together.
I focus on eating and not looking at her face at all costs. Memories of last night and how devastated she was in that hospital come to mind and I realize what a dick I'm being. She's hurting and I'm worried about my damn closed off self possibly getting a breeze of emotion that I'm not ready to deal with. Setting my empty plate on the counter, I look at her... really look at her. She's broken. Her scars run so deep that it's almost invisible at the surface. I fucking get that.
I watch her pick at the eggs and attempt to eat a few bites before I move toward her.
"How far do you plan to go today?"
"
I just want to make it out of the city. I'll figure the rest out later."
"Do you expect trouble when you go to your father for your money?"
"Who knows? It's rightfully mine, but if he suspects that I'm running, I could totally see him trying to prevent it from happening. He's a bit on the controlling side."
"Yeah. I caught that right away. I'll go with you and make sure everything goes like it should."
"I could never ask you to do that."
"You didn't have to. You should finish your eggs and I'll take you where you need to go." She finishes quickly and I wait for her to finish getting ready. It's strange having a woman in my space again.
"Are you ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be." Carrying her bag out the door, we make it into the hallway just as my neighbor steps out. I notice the smile on Ms. Garcia's face and know she has misinterpreted this whole scene. That little old lady has done her best to make me feel at home in this shitty apartment and tells me every day that I need a 'nice lil' honey' to make my home complete. I'm guessing that she'll be over later tonight with a full plate of food and lots of questions about Kimber.
"Mornin' Ms. Garcia. How are you doin' today?"
"Boy. How many times have I told you to call me Delores?" This feisty woman never fails to put a smile on my face. She has to be in her 90's and still living on her own.
"I'm sorry. How is everything this morning, Delores?"
"Better now that I've seen this beautiful sight. Ole' Delores was getting worried about you."
"Haha. Don't worry about me!" I take her arm as she begins to walk to the elevator.
"Honey. You know how I don't want you to be lonely like this old lady. You have to find someone to keep you young."
"You know I'm in no hurry for that." I really should've told her a little about Lilly and my past life, but I just couldn't. She means best, but I know how filters tend to fade with age.
"Boy, I'm going to tell you a secret." She pulls down on my shoulder until I lower my ear toward her. "Sometimes it hits you when you least expect it." My eyes hit Kimber's just as I hear her words of wisdom. I know Delores is hoping to see a female come and go from my apartment way more than I'm ready for.
"I know just what you're saying. Now maybe you should listen to that yourself. I've seen how you look at that new guy down the hall."
"Eh. He's not really my type." She changes the subject quick and begins to talk to Kimber. The mood is always light with Ms. G. I sometimes think she listens for me before she comes out the door just to get a little conversation in first thing in the morning. I actually find myself looking forward to it and even have been known to knock on her door to check on her if she doesn't make an appearance.
"Well, Luke, I expect you to bring her over for our usual dinner time this week."
"Oh no, I'll be leaving the city today, but thank you for the offer."
"Well alright. The offer is always there when you come back." I don't bother correcting her right now. It'll just make her more determined to get her to agree.
I help Delores into her cab and begin to walk toward my bike. Looking back, I see that Kimber is just watching me from her Jeep. Her bag is still hanging on my shoulder, and I begin to think about her Jeep being full of her stuff. If anyone sees it they will know she plans to leave.
Kimber
I stand here and watch this man surprise me even more. Who would've thought someone full of tattoos could become friends with an elderly woman from his apartment. The way he took care of her the whole way down and into the cab, surprised me. This guy is full of those though.
"You should probably ride with me." I don't disagree and I'm happy he suggested it. I'm sure the news of me packing everything up has already spread, but there's no need to test the theory if it hasn't.
"Ok. It isn't far." I watch his swagger as he walks up to his bike. Did I just agree to this? I follow him and try my hardest to act like I've done this before. He hands me the helmet and mounts the bike like a pro. Hiking my leg over, I position myself right up next to him. He starts up the motor and the sound of the engine along with the vibrations of the engine awake all of my senses.
"You might want to hold on." Sliding my arms around him is a little awkward, but I do it. His abs are ridiculously sculpted and I try my hardest not to let my fingers roam too much. He starts to take off and I have to tighten my hold even further to keep from falling off.
The adrenaline rush as we speed down the road scares me. It horrifies me and at the same time I love it. I pull myself in even closer to him and watch everything pass as the air hits my face. He's not driving extremely fast, and I could see how riding could be completely freeing.
It isn't very far to the gym and before I know it he's turned off the engine.
"That was a bucket list item for me!" He looks at me with a weird expression as I hand him the helmet.
"I've always wanted to ride. Now I can say that I have."
"That wasn't a ride....." He's interrupted by the sound of tires squealing. I know who it is before I ever look over. Luke guides me backwards by stepping in front of me.
"Get the fuck in the truck, Kimber." There's no way in hell that I'm leaving with him.
"Greg. It's over. I'm not going anywhere with you."
"Yes you are. Get your ass over here, before I decide to come get you."
"Mother fucker. Just try it. I'll shove your face into the concrete so fast you won't know what the fuck happened." Luke is no longer standing near me. He is charging straight for Greg, who is still in his truck. Greg hides behind his truck and takes off before Luke can get close enough. I'm sure Luke would've pulled him out of his truck through the window and beat his ass again. The rage in that man's face is unmistakable and it should startle me, but I know it's not toward me.
"Luke. Calm down. It's okay."
"Yeah. I just can't stand that fucking asshole."
"I'll be gone soon and he won't be able to bother you." Luke's tension doesn't ease up with my reassurance.
"Let's get this done with. I want to get the fuck out of here."
We walk into the gym and it's packed. Lou greets me at the door right away. His concerning hug reminds me that he's really the only one I'm leaving behind that I'm going to truly miss. His hold on me lasts longer than normal and he starts to ask questions.
"Kimmy, tell me you're alright. I worried about you all night long."
"I'm good, Lou. You don't have to worry about me."
"Sure I do. Now, who did you bring with you?"
"He's just a friend."
"Yes. I saw him last night. Your father seems to think I need to train him for a fight that's coming up very soon."
"I'm not sure about all of that. Is my father here?"
"Yes. He's in the overlook." I begin to walk away and Luke starts to follow. Lou holds out his hand in introduction and I watch Luke simply shake his hand and nod. From what I could tell, he still hasn't told them his name. I'll respect that fully, because after today I won't even be around to make sure he's taken care of.
"I'll be right back." I watch his inner struggle to follow me and decide to walk fast enough for him to realize I need to do this on my own.
I knew that he'd be watching the floor. When I open the door, he doesn't even turn to acknowledge me. Why would he start today?
"Kim, I love that you're bringing that beast to me. I honestly thought he'd try to back out."
"I'm not bringing him to you. I just need my winnings from last night and then I'll be out of your way."
"Greg collected your winnings early this morning."
"They weren't his to collect. How could you give them to him knowing what he did to me last night?"
"How was I to know you aren't still with him?" This is my fault. I hid the marks he left and kept the pregnancy a secret. How could this be happening? I have nothing left. The disgust I feel for myself overwhelms me as my life continues to crash down.
"You're right. I never
should have bet the money."
"It's not like you to bet money. It screams of desperation to lay that much down and it makes me curious of your intentions." My father is smart. He knows something and I can only assume that Greg filled him in on enough for him to put the pieces together.
"I just need a vacation to think about a few things."
"That amount of money was not for a vacation. Your lay down would have been more than enough to get away."
"I ... I just want to have enough to make some changes in my life if needed." He stares into my eyes with power and disappointment. I can't look into his eyes when he's like this.
"Well. I suggest you ask Greg for your money back." I know not to fight him on this. He never treated me any different than a stranger’s child until he realized how valuable I could be if he dangled me in front of his fighters.
"You know he won't give it to me."
"Sounds like a personal problem. Maybe your new boy will save you."
"He's not mine."
"Let's just see how this turns out." He turns and starts out the door.
"I won't let you use me to get him. This guy is different."
"I know he's different. That's why it's time that I remind him how much he wants this fight."
Luke
This old man Lou, really knows what he's talking about, at least from what I've actually heard as I worry about Kimber. I admire the way he interacts with each person here in the gym whether they are training to fight, lifting, or simply doing cardio. I can really tell he's been around for a long time and has made a difference to many of these people.
"Glad to see you're ready to train for the fight."
"Don't be so sure of yourself. I'm not fighting for you. Just here with Kimber and then you don't have to worry about seeing me again." Kimber walks up behind her father, who is looking very smug again today. I look at Kimber and see defeat again. What in the hell?