word, my lady. Your wish is my command!” Keane flashed her a wide grin.
“That’s fine,” Becca told him, barely glancing at the food on the tray. “Thank you for making it.”
She had been up for hours. She had showered and gotten dressed by the time Keane had knocked on the door. She had chosen a light pink cashmere sweater, and a pair of blue skinny jeans from the clothes she’d found hanging in the large walk-in closet. And she could only assume that what she was wearing belonged to her, because they fitted her slim frame perfectly. Even the white lace bra and silk underwear were her size.
She was sitting cross-legged on the bed, flipping through a travel magazine she
had found on the large coffee table in the sitting area of the bedroom when Keane
came in.
“I wasn’t sure what you like to eat in the morning. I hope something here will do.” His eyes went down to the food on the tray.
“I’m not hungry. I could have saved you the trouble.”
Becca saw the disappointment in his eyes, but he smiled at her, anyway.
Wow! He certainly knew how to pretend that she wasn’t hurting his feelings or being rude to him!
“It was no trouble at all. Remember breakfast is the most important meal of the
day! It’s not a good idea to skip it.”
“Not for me, it’s not. I’m good, thank you.” Becca insisted to him.
She glanced at the large silver tray with very little interest. There was a small Tiffany vase with a single red rose perched in the middle. How sweet, she thought! He was trying to cheer her up! But he would need more than flowers and food to put her in a good mood!
“You have to eat something to keep up your strength.”
“Says who!” she told with a defiant tilt of the head.
She expected to see him walking back out with the tray.
“You haven’t taken a bite of food since yesterday.” He admonished her in a
tired voice.
“What’s the use!” She shrugged her shoulders and gazed out the large
windows at the snow-covered maple trees outside. “I don’t even know who I am! Do you really expect me to sit down and eat as if none of this is going on with me? Well, I won’t! Food has absolutely no appeal to me at the moment! I have completely lost my appetite!” She gave him a dejected look.
“I’m not asking you to sit down to a five-course meal, Becca—just try some of the egg, at least—please, for me.”
He took the silver fork from the tray, dug into the eggs, and held it out to her. He placed the napkin on her leg and waited for her to take the fork from him.
Becca turned away from him.
“I told you I wasn’t hungry!”
“And I heard you,” he told her in a patient voice.
“Then why are you still asking!”
She knocked the fork from his hand with one swift move of her hand.
He took a deep breath and ignored her outburst. He bent down and picked up the fork off the floor. He would clean up the rest of it later.
“I can get you something else if you want.” He was beginning to understand her frustration. “Lyla and none of the ladies are here yet, but I’m sure I can whip up something else. What do you like to eat?” He leaned in and smiled at her.
“I wish you would stop treating me like a child, Keane. I think I’m quite
capable of deciding if I want to eat or not. And I don’t! Is that too hard for you to understand?”
“Fair enough.” He returned the fork to the plate. “I will leave the tray here, in case you change your mind.”
Becca cupped her chin in her hands and leaned forward to stare at him.
“I won’t,” she assured him. Then, “What would you have done if you were me, Keane?”
“I certainly wouldn’t starve myself, if that’s what you are trying to ask me. I will eat something to keep up my strength.”
“I don’t believe you! How would you have handled losing your memory? I
will like to know, just for curiosity sake.” She prodded.
“Everyone handles things differently, Becca.” He leaned on the cane and looked at her.
“I’m asking you, Keane, not someone else.”
Keane gave her a sympathetic look. “Probably the same way that you are, but I think you are being too hard on yourself. Michael said you suffered a slight concussion. He thinks your amnesia is because of that, and it’s only temporary. He is confident that things will start coming back to you soon.”
He came and sat on the bed next to her and took her hand in his.
“I’m not entirely hopeful,” she told him in dismay. “I should have remembered something by now.”
“There is nothing for you to worry about. Lots of people have had the same
thing happened to them and made a full recovery.”
She looked at him and sighed. “The problem with that, Keane; is that I’m not a lot of people. I am me, incase you haven’t noticed. And it has been four days, four full days!” She held up four of her fingers and wriggled them at him. “That’s three days away from an entire week! Why can’t I remember anything, Keane? Why!” She pounded her hand on her leg.
She was glad that he was there for her to lean on. She needed someone to help
her get through this, and she was sure that she wouldn’t have wanted anyone else but him. She hadn’t been this terrified in her entire life, like she was now. What if she suddenly became a shadow of her old self; whatever that was. What if she never remembered who she was?
“Give yourself time.”
“I don’t have time, Keane. I don’t think I can sit through another day not knowing who I am, or where I came from. What if I have a husband and children out there waiting for me to come home to them? What if they are out this very
minute looking for me, afraid that something terrible has happened to me!”
“I understand your frustration, Becca, I really do, but getting yourself all
worked up over this isn’t going to solve anything.”
“I don’t think you understand!”
“I do, well, at least some of it. No one wants to lose their memory. It’s
frightening! The roads are better now. I can always drive you into town to the Sheriff’s office. Sheriff Clark is a good friend of mine. He and his team will be more than happy to help you out. They can give you some of the answers you are looking for about yourself in a matter of minutes.”
“No!” Becca held onto his arm and gave him a frightened look. “I will like to wait. I have heard stories of people being sent for a mental evaluation because they woke up one day not knowing who they were. What if they do the same thing to me, Keane? What if they lock me away in a mental facility, and I never get out of there? What if I never see you again?” He could see the pain and fear in her eyes, and he drew her close and held her, wrapping his strong arms around her shaking shoulders.
“I won’t let that happen to you.”
“Good.” Becca turned her head up to look at him. “Because I don’t ever want anyone to have that much power or control over me, and certainly not when I am like this.” Becca brought her head down to rest on his shoulder.
“Becca, honey,” he spoke very gently to her. “Your memory lost had absolutely nothing to do with your mental capacity. It doesn’t alter who you are as a person, one bit. You aren’t insane. You aren’t displaying any psychotic behavior. You are sane, smart, wonderful and beautiful.” He cupped her face in his hands and stared into her troubled eyes. “You are just someone who received an unfortunate blow to the head, and who needs time to recover from it.”
She blinked away the tears that were welling up in her eyes.
“Still, I don’t’ want anyone to think that I’m some sort of mental case because
of it. I’m not sure I’m ready to confront what’s out there, Keane. Maybe I will start remembering something soon. And when I do, I will be more than happy and willing to reclaim
my old life, but until then, I will like to remain in my safe zone.”
“Meaning here?” he asked her with a knowing smile.
He wanted to make sure he was hearing her right, and not misunderstanding any of what she was trying to say to him.
“Yes.” She looked up at him and smiled. “If that is okay with you, of course.”
He held her hands and smiled at her. “Why wouldn’t it be okay?”
She gave him a shy look. “Well, you might have reservations about me staying here with you. You may have a private life of your own that you don’t want me to intrude on.”
He raised his finger and pressed it gently against her lips. “Shhh—don’t say another word. I will love to have you staying here with me, Becca. And that private life you talked about is more or less non-existent—well, except for the occasional work-related late dinners.”
Becca put her head back and gave him a startled look. She was surprised!
He certainly didn’t look like the type of man who didn’t have a bunch of women knocking on his door, begging for a date, willing to spend the night, and the rest of their lives with him.
She decided she was going to leave it at that—well, at least for now! He didn’t owe her anything, and most certainly not an explanation about his personal life.
“And before you make any big decisions, I want you to know that there are
options. Maybe knowing something about yourself will put your mind at ease.”
She gazed off into the distance and twirled a strand of her hair idly.
“What if I find out something I’m not happy about? What if it’s something I
can’t deal with at the moment? Maybe I can’t remember anything about my past
for a reason.”
Keane drew her closer. He stroked her hair gently, and gazed off in the distance over her head. Then he got down on his knees and took her hands in his. He searched her face with his anxious eyes. He wanted to make sure she wanted to do this.
“I care very deeply for you, Becca. You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. But remember, it’s your call. Just say the word when you are ready. I will respect any decision you make. And to put your mind at ease, I don’t think you have either a husband or children waiting anywhere for you.”
She was a bit taken aback by the reveal.
“How can you be sure? How can you make such an assumption?” She gave
him an anxious look. “You hardly know me.”
Was it possible that he was holding back something from her?
A mischievous smile appeared on his lips. “Believe it or not, Becca, a man knows these things.”
“You mean an experienced man like yourself?” She wasn’t going to let him get
away with it.
Keane didn’t miss the sarcasm in her voice.
“I am an experienced man, yes. I’m not going to deny it. But I’m also trying to
be sensible here, Becca.”
She decided to take him to task. “So, you aren’t denying that you have been, or are involved with a lot of women?”
Keane looked at her and chuckled loudly. “Whoa! Not so fast! I thought this conversation was about you.”
Becca gave him a feigned innocent look. “It is. I’m just trying to find out the type of man I’m dealing with here. I will be staying under the same roof as you—a couple doors apart, remember.”
There was a twinkle in Keane’s blue eyes. “Okay, that’s fair enough. I won’t lie about my past. I have been around the block a few times. I’m a thirty year old hot bloodied man for goodness sake! I do enjoy the company of beautiful women!”
“Wow! And shameless too, I see!”
“Hey, you are the one who’s asking.” He chuckled even louder this time.
“And I’m so sorry that I did. So, how many women are we talking about here Keane; three, five, ten, twenty, a hundred?” She peered mischievously at him.
Keane threw his head back and laughed goodheartedly. “You are getting
ahead of yourself here, aren’t you? Do I sense a tinge of jealously?” He peered at her with a wide smile.
She blushed and went on the defensive; “Wh…why would I be jealous? I just met you, remember. It’s not like we are dating or anything.”
She looked away to avoid his prying eyes.
He was still smiling. “Do you want us to?”
The color heightened in Becca’s pale face. “Watt…wha…what!” She stammered. “What sort of question is that!” She huffed at him.
She wasn’t certain if he was making fun of her, or if he was being downright
serious. Had he read her thoughts, again! She took an end of her hair and twirled it around her fingers nervously.
“A very sensible one.” The dimples on his cheeks deepened. “You must have a very personal reason for asking about the women I have bedded.”
She tilted her head back and gave him an amused look.
“Bedded, huh—haven’t heard that one in quite a while, but yep, that’s just
about describes it! Let’s say; I have heard rich men are hopeless womanizers. They sleep around and break hearts!”
That sent Keane into another loud uproar. He certainly was enjoying making fun of her! She flashed him a displeased look.
“And you think that’s who I am—that I’m one of those men. You actually
think that I am here to cause you some sort of heartache!” He laughed some more. “My dear, sweet Becca.” He reached for her hand again. “I’m far from being that type of man. I do not pursue women just to take them to bed and then break up with them the next day. I do it because I am attracted to them.” He reached for a handful of her thick auburn curls and caressed them between his fingers. “And a man can not break a woman’s heart unless said woman is in love with him.”
There was mischief in his eyes when he looked at her.
She was never one to back away from a good challenge when she saw one.
“Then I take it you don’t have a bevy of beautiful women waiting in the wing for your choosing?
“Are you pushing for a confession?”
“Well, do you?”
“You don’t really expect me to answer that, do you? I’m not one to kiss and tell.” He grinned widely at her.
“Your silence has given me the answer I need.”
“Has it now! And what number were you able to come up with?”
“Like you, I do keep some things to myself.”
“Okay. I will hold you to revealing that number later. But now we must get
back to you.” He got up and sat back down on the bed next to her. “How many
children do you think you can possibly have at twenty-one?”
“A few if I started early! Haven’t you ever heard of teenage pregnancy? Some
girls give birth to their first baby at sixteen. Who to tell if I’m not one of them!
What if I got knocked up on Prom night and got married soon after?”
Keane gave her a reserved look. It wasn’t something he wanted to hear from her, or about her. He didn’t want to imagine her with another man, much less having his child.
“I doubt it!” he told her firmly. “I know teenagers are known to be adventurous, but you don’t strike me as being that type of girl. You
certainly do not look as if you have given birth to a baby. Trust me when I tell
you that you were never pregnant with a baby.”
Keane met the embarrass look on her face with a guilty smile.
She knew that there was only one way a man could know such intimate things about a woman’s body. She was almost afraid to ask him.
And she didn’t have to.
“Relax!” Keane gave her a mischievous chuckle. “I haven’t seen anything that
I shouldn’t. I have been a complete gentleman since you arrived here. I would
never take advantage of you, Becca.” He gave her a serious look. “I care about you too much. I would never do an
ything to hurt you in that way.” His voice was a bare whisper, as he slipped his finger under her chin and brought her head up to
look at her.
“I…I, did… didn’t mean to imply that you have.”
She was having such a hard time clarifying her feelings to him.
She was also mortified that he knew what she’d been thinking about him. She
knew enough about him now to know that he would never force himself on her.
No matter how much he desired her.
He tried to explain. “It’s just that Christmas is only a few weeks away. I doubt you would be traveling alone with two packed bags in the trunk of your car without your family. Usually people with one don’t go anywhere without them at this time of year, and certainly not this close to the holidays. And as I said before, you don’t look as if you have carried a baby.”
His eyes rested on her firm, full breasts, then wandered down to her very flat stomach. She wasn’t naïve. She knew that Keane had seen parts of her body when he had brought her here.
She had been soaked to the bones and shivering. Keane had helped her out of her wet clothes, and had bundled her into one of his dry shirts and blanket to keep her warm until help arrived. And she had been wide awaked when he had held her shivering body next to his shirtless one to generate body heat and kept her warm.
She had also been fully aware of the way her body had reacted to his gentle
touches as he rubbed her down with his strong arms. She had trembled with desire for him as he held her close, encircling her shaking body to his very hard one.
And she remembered that he hadn’t left her side. The doctors had to literally
push him from the room when they arrived to examine her. Just having him there had made the whole experience less terrifying for her.
Becca gave him a tortured look.
She realized that he did have a very logical point about the luggage in her car.
“What if I was going somewhere to meet them?” she persisted.
She wanted to find some sort of reason to this entire thing. She knew eventually she would, but until then, it wouldn’t hurt to try to fill in the pieces.
“There was nothing in your belongings to suggest it. If anything, it appears as
though you were taking off somewhere to have some time alone.”
What the Heart Desires Page 6