“The universe was looking out for you.”
“Maybe it was.”
“And what about the questions from viewers? Do they still send in the stuff about dates and women?”
“They do. It’s weird, since the show has nothing to do with that. But a ton of my viewers keep writing in, asking me for dating advice.”
She quirks up her lips. “It’s because you’re personable and smart and good-looking. They want you to share all that wisdom so they can follow in your footsteps.”
I arch a brow, latching on to one awesome adjective. “You think I’m good-looking?”
She laughs and scans the coffee shop, affecting a female newscaster voice. “Bob, did you know ten out of ten patrons at the SassyAss coffee shop think Chris McCormick is good-looking?” She drops down to a male voice. “Well, Susan, I’m not surprised. All the ladies have been checking him out.”
A smile sneaks across my face. “Thank you. You’re quite entertaining.”
“Tell me stuff.” She leans in eagerly. “What do they ask you?”
“How do I ask out this woman or that woman? What do I say in this situation? What would I do if this or that happened? How do I know if this girl really likes me?”
She’s Susan again. “As I always say, Bob, you can tell if a girl likes you if she invites you home. If she touches your arm. If she laughs extra hard at your jokes, especially if you’re not funny at all. But if she does none of that, don’t assume she isn’t into you. Try, I don’t know, being direct and asking her. Women like that, and there’s no reason for you to have to wonder.”
She says it like she’s delivering advice to a guy.
On TV.
On my show.
And that’s when it hits me.
I’ve found my gold, and I wasn’t even panning for it. All I have to do is convince Bruce.
THE DATING PROPOSAL will be a live release in Kindle Unlimited on May 6!
And One More Epilogue
The Kick-ass Women of Lucky Falls Group Chat (plus Ella)
Arden: It’s official!
Perri: It’s official, as in you actually went into the hospital and became a mother, and we’re just learning now? I’m on my way. Lights and sirens!
Arden: Please. In that case, I would’ve called Gabe, and then called you, and then yelled at you, as well as at Gabe, Stephen King, Shakespeare, God, and everyone else during labor.
Vanessa: Good to know you include us worthy of shouting at, along with literary giants, while pushing a watermelon or two out of you. So . . . what’s official, then? You’re finally going to take a few weeks off and rest before you give birth, like you really should be doing, you naughty, naughty girl who keeps on working well past when she’s supposed to?
Arden: No. I’ve officially become a house. It happened today. I tried to bend over and practically fell to the floor. That means I’m a house.
Perri: I was thinking an apartment building. But all kidding aside, you really need to be careful, sweetie. We can’t have you toppling over.
Ella: Yes, because if you toppled over, I’m pretty sure we’d have to come roll you out of your home, right?
Vanessa: Oh, you are getting sassy, Ella.
Ella: Wasn’t that the requirement when you invited me into your group chat? Be as sassy as I can possibly be?
Vanessa: I have taught you so well. I’m so proud of you for trying to keep up.
Ella: I do more than keep up.
Arden: Hello, tangent AF. Doesn’t anyone feel sorry for me? I’m colonial-home-size, you’re going to be rolling me across the floor like a beached whale, and we’re discussing Ella’s banter skills. Is there no sympathy for my condition?
Perri: I’m sympathetic and yet practical. Do you have any idea how hard beached whales are to move? We need a plan. We might have to call the fire department.
Arden: Well, it’s one member of the fire department’s fault that I’m this size!
Ella: *clears throat* Excuse me, but I think you might have been involved in that decision too.
Arden: And I regret nothing, but I’m becoming the Queen Mary. This has to be Gabe’s fault for giving me twins.
Perri: Uh, to point out the obvious, your genes dictate twins, not his. Also, you have twins on your side of the family.
Arden: I know that, but it feels like he’s responsible for my gigantism! CAN SOMEONE JUST BE SYMPATHETIC, PLEASE?????
Vanessa: I’m trying, but I’m too excited every time I think about the fact that you’re going to pop out two babies. In fact, I’m going shopping right now for more baby gifts for you.
Perri: Pink baby gifts!!! I’ll join you!
Ella: Pink matching sets of stuff for a matching set of lovebugs. Identical twin girls are the coolest.
Arden: No one cares about the ballooning I’ve suffered. All you’re thinking about is buying stuff.
Perri: It’s simply because I can’t think of anything better than us getting to raise and indoctrinate two little identical Ardens.
Vanessa: It is indoctrination, right? That’s what we’ll be doing. And we are kind of going to be raising them. Sisterhood and all.
Perri: We’ll let the guys be involved a little bit, but we’ll teach the munchkins all of the important things ourselves.
Arden: Like how to be awesome?
Vanessa: Like how to be a good friend?
Perri: Like how to look out for your girlfriends?
Ella: Like how to respect your elders, learn from them, and then adopt their best traits?
Vanessa: *pats head of little sister* I’m so proud of you for being an excellent acolyte. Speaking of excellence, how is that man who was almost mine? *snort, snort*
Arden: As if. We all know Shaw was destined for Vanessa. Even if Perri had blinders on for, like, ever about that pairing.
Perri: Enough about my brother, aka Vanessa’s HUSBAND. I want to hear about Ella . . . our protege. Tell us about Mr. Sullivan.
Ella: *grins wickedly * *enjoys my man* *makes plans to surprise him in new lingerie later*
Arden: Yay! I’m glad it’s going so well.
Ella: Me too. I have Jamie’s stepmom to thank. That schemer. :)
Perri: Hello? My scheming husband played a big role.
Vanessa: I will never forget how Derek earned his wings as my cupid.
Ella: And I am eminently grateful to him as well. Especially since I think Jamie’s going to propose this weekend.
Vanessa: *squeals!*
Arden: *squeals again!*
Perri: *squeals louder!*
Vanessa: Why do you think it’s going to be this weekend?
Ella: Things he’s asked me, plans he’s making for us to go away, a certain delighted secrecy in his eyes.
Vanessa: So you’re not going to be surprised?
Ella: Oh, I’m going to act surprised. But it won’t be an act when I’m over the moon and say yes. I want this more than I wanted a love like those in the love stories. Because that’s what I think this will be.
That weekend
Vanessa: OMG! He asked and she said yes! Show us the ring.
Ella: *flashes stunning picture of gorgeous diamond ring!*
Arden: It’s so beautiful. I’m crying at the sparkles.
Perri: It shines. Look how it shines like the sun! But confession: Arden is crying because she can’t fit out the door. I’m over here trying to shove her out on account of contractions and Gabe being on shift, but we just want to say we love your ring and we’re so happy for you, Ella.
Ella: Go, go, go! We want babies!!
Shaw: Up for a beer after work? It’s on me. Since I owe you beers for the rest of my life.
Derek: You won’t get any argument from me on that, but go ahead and tell me why you’re going to be the purveyor of all my beers.
Gabe: I’d also like to be included in that beer-for-life gift.
Shaw: Seems Jamie proposed to my wife’s little sister.
Derek: Dude, you have me to t
hank for so many things.
Shaw: That’s why I’m thanking you. Because it just keeps getting better and better. You setting up Jamie and Ella gave me what I needed.
Gabe: Hey, Shaw, do you think Derek can try to get a job as a matchmaker? Maybe he could go connect with Miriam and the other ladies. I hear they’ve been quite busy. Hunter just moved in with Madeline.
Shaw: Aww, Derek would look so cute with a diaper and bow and arrow, don’t you think?
Derek: You guys can mock me all you want, but I just scored beer for life.
Gabe: And I will gladly snag one of your brews. Holy shit. I got to jump. Arden went into labor.
Twenty-four hours later
Gabe: And I am now the father of two beautiful twin girls, and I couldn’t be happier. My babies are perfect, and I love them madly. Look at these angels.
Derek: They’re beautiful, man. I’m so damn happy for you guys. Perri is honking the horn right now and demanding I get my butt over to the hospital.
Shaw: Heading over there in a few with Vanessa. Can’t wait to meet ’em.
Gabe: Just look for the happiest guy here.
Shaw: I think it’s safe to say we all are. The happiest guys.
THE END
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Contact
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