After a moment’s hesitation, Jane nodded.
‘Thorp Arch?’
Jane hung her head and did not reply.
‘Don’t worry, love. It’s rather a big site to hide away completely. The only thing none of us must do is say what goes on there. I certainly don’t know, nor do I want to. I just help pick up the pieces when there’s an accident.’ She turned to Bess. ‘Your daughter has been badly burned. We’re doing all we can for her at the moment, but we have sedated her just now. The pain is unbearable for her. I can’t let you see her yet and, besides, she won’t know you’re there and it will distress you . . .’
‘I want to see her,’ Bess said but, as she stood up, she swayed and at once Emily guided her back down into the chair. ‘Don’t pass out on me, Mrs Dugdale. Put your head between your knees.’
‘I’ll get you some water,’ the sister said. ‘You’ve had a nasty shock and I expect you haven’t had anything to eat for several hours. I’ll see what I can do.’
They sat there – all four of them – until the dawn light filtered through the windows and the hospital began to come alive. And still they waited. Outpatients came and went. They watched others being attended to, saw a few walk out with bandaged heads or arms in slings. A few limped away, but at least they were going home.
‘You ought to go home,’ Bess said at last. ‘And you’d better get yourself a bit of rest, Jane, before you have to go to work.’
Though still worried half out of her mind, Bess was beginning to realize just how much the others had put themselves out to help her.
‘You should get back to the factory, Trip,’ Emily said. ‘I promise I’ll let you know as soon as we hear anything about Lizzie, but I must stay here with Mrs Dugdale.’
‘Perhaps you’re right. But Richard’s there. I’ll telephone him now, though he’ll know there’s a good reason why I haven’t gone in.’
‘So will Nell, but could you call her too and ask her to take charge? And Mrs Nicholson too, could you . . . ? Oh my goodness,’ she said as another thought struck her. ‘We ought to get word to Billy as soon as possible.’
‘Yes – yes, you’re right. I should go back, and I’ll see about getting in touch with the authorities to inform Billy. But you promise you’ll let me know any news?’
‘Of course I will. I’ll telephone either home or your factory.’
As he stood up to leave, he touched Bess’s shoulder gently, but could think of nothing to say. He kissed Emily’s cheek.
‘Right, Jane, I’ll drop you wherever you are living. Like Mrs Dugdale says, you should get some rest before your shift starts this afternoon.’
After they’d left, Emily and Bess continued to sit in the waiting room, side by side, saying little to each other; there was nothing they could think of to say. About mid-morning, a doctor came to find them.
‘You’ve been told of your daughter’s injuries, I understand. She is still very poorly, Mrs Dugdale.’
‘Will she – live?’ Bess asked, her voice shaking.
‘The next twenty-four hours will be critical – it’s the shock to her body, you understand – but if she comes through that, then, yes, I think she will.’
‘May I see her?’
‘Not yet. Maybe tonight. I would advise you to go home and get some rest. Come back this evening and we’ll see then.’
‘We don’t live here, doctor,’ Emily said. ‘We’re from Sheffield.’
‘Ah, that makes it a little more awkward. I can’t offer you accommodation within the hospital, I’m afraid. We’re fully stretched.’
‘I’ll find us a hotel for the night,’ Emily said. ‘We can have a rest this afternoon and come back tonight . . .’
But Bess shook her head firmly. ‘No, I’ll stay right here, doctor, if I won’t be in the way.’
‘You won’t be in the way, no, but I don’t think anyone will have time to make you cups of tea or feed you.’ He sighed sadly. ‘We’re all going to be very busy today.’ He smiled ruefully. ‘But then we always are.’
‘I’ll look after her,’ Emily said.
‘You should go back home, Emily luv,’ Bess said, when the doctor had left them.
‘They’ll all cope. Nell will take charge.’
Just as she was about to say more, two women were shown into the waiting room, an older woman, who was in tears, and a younger one supporting her.
‘Let me get you some tea,’ Emily said, getting up.
‘Please don’t trouble,’ the younger of the two women said.
‘No trouble,’ Emily said, smiling sympathetically at them both. It was obvious they had similar worries. She went in search of a nurse, who showed her to the kitchens where the staff kindly allowed her to make cups of tea. She carried a tray with four cups on it back to the waiting room.
‘There,’ she said, handing them round.
‘This lady’s daughter’s been hurt too,’ Bess said. Obviously they’d been talking in Emily’s absence. ‘We reckon at the same place – probably in the same accident.’
‘Our Phyllis is burned, they say,’ the younger woman said. Then she explained, ‘This is her mam and I’m her sister, but we can’t seem to find much out and they won’t let us see her yet. Not before this evening, they said.’
‘It’s the same for us.’ Bess nodded. ‘It’s the waiting that gets you, isn’t it?’
The older woman nodded, ‘The not knowing is the worst.’
For the rest of the morning and the whole of the afternoon, Emily tried to help in any way she could. She found it impossible to sit in the waiting room. She fetched and carried drinks and food to the other three women and, soon, she was not only making copious cups of tea in the hospital’s kitchen, but she was also acting as a porter, wheeling patients to wherever they needed to be. By early evening, she was exhausted, but adrenalin kept her going.
When she took a brief respite and sat down next to Bess, she said softly, ‘I popped out earlier. There’s a hotel not far away. I’ve booked us in for the night.’ As Bess opened her mouth to argue, Emily said, ‘And I won’t take “no” for an answer.’
‘Thank you, Emily. I’ll accept, then, ’cos I don’t want to leave till I’ve seen her. Do you think Trip will have sent word to Billy?’
‘I’m sure he will have.’
It was eight o’clock in the evening before a nurse came to fetch Bess into the small room where Lizzie was. ‘There are only three patients in the room, all of them seriously injured,’ she told them, ‘so we’re just letting relatives in two at a time for five minutes. Come with me.’
Bess nodded and reached out to clasp Emily’s hand. ‘Come with me, Emily. I’m so afraid of what I’m going to see.’
The sister paused at the door of the room and turned to say gently, ‘We are trying a new method of treatment for burns here, recommended by Mr Archibald McIndoe and therefore she is not bandaged as she would have been in the past. It’ll be upsetting for you but she is heavily sedated with morphine and is in no pain at the moment. We shall do our best to keep her out of pain as much as we can.’
When she saw the horrific injuries, Bess put her hand over her mouth and sobbed. She stood for several minutes looking down at her beautiful daughter and tears ran down her face. ‘She was so lovely, Emily. What’s she going to do now?’
‘We’ll all still love her, Mrs Dugdale. It makes no difference.’
‘But will Billy?’
‘Billy?’ Despite the seriousness of the moment, Emily almost laughed aloud. ‘Billy will love her no matter what. You should know that.’
‘I just hope . . .’ Bess began and then stopped. Emily didn’t press her to continue for she guessed what the older woman had been about to say.
Fifty-Four
By the time Billy had got compassionate leave and arrived home, Lizzie had made it through that first long night and the next few days. She was still in the Leeds hospital, though there was a promise of her being transferred to Sheffield as soon as she
was fit enough to travel.
‘We’ll hire a private ambulance, if necessary,’ Emily promised Bess, ‘and I’ll settle any hospital bills. You mustn’t worry about a thing.’
Bess wiped her eyes. ‘You’re very good to us, Emily luv.’
Although Emily had to return to Sheffield, she arranged for Bess to stay at the hotel in Leeds for a week, at the end of which she planned to bring her home. But she was willing to take her back any time she wanted to go until Lizzie could be transferred. Bess was at her daughter’s bedside each day for as long as the hospital would allow. But now Lizzie was out of danger, her visitors were restricted to the regulation hours.
‘Though we’ll bend the rules for her husband when he gets here,’ the sister told them. ‘We do a lot of rule-bending for the armed forces,’ she added, with a smile.
Emily had had little chance to speak to Lizzie alone, but on one of her visits when Bess left them briefly, Lizzie grasped Emily’s hand and whispered urgently. ‘He came.’
‘Who, love? Who came?’ She wondered if Lizzie was slightly delirious. She was often drowsy from the sedative.
‘Andrew – the – the RAF lad. I didn’t know he’d survived the bombing that night. I – I thought he must have been killed.’
Emily said nothing; she didn’t want to admit to Lizzie that she’d thought she’d seen him follow them out of the hotel.
‘I don’t know how on earth he found out about my accident, but he just turned up here.’ Tears filled Lizzie’s eyes. ‘He never said a word. He didn’t even speak to me. He just took one look at me, turned and left the room. He’s not been back.’
‘Good,’ Emily said stoutly. ‘Good riddance, I say. The man who really loves you is on his way home, Lizzie. He should be here tomorrow.’
Now the tears ran down her cheek. ‘I’ll have to tell him.’
Emily was thoughtful for a moment. Though she couldn’t ever imagine being unfaithful to Trip, she tried to imagine what she would do in Lizzie’s place, and she decided that, yes, she would confess.
When Billy arrived the following morning, it was outside normal visiting hours, but he was allowed in to see his wife briefly.
He kissed her uninjured cheek gently and sat close to the bedside, holding her hand.
‘Thank God you’re alive,’ he said huskily. ‘Don’t worry about a thing, darling. Just get better.’
‘I’m so sorry, Billy. I don’t know how you’re going to forgive me.’
‘Don’t be silly. It’s not your fault. I admired you for going into munitions, but you must have known the risk? I just wish you’d let me know where you were, though, and that you’d written to me a bit more.’
‘No – no, it’s not that. It’s – it’s something else. Billy – while you’ve been away—’
‘Don’t, Lizzie. Please, don’t say any more. Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it.’
Already Billy had guessed what it was Lizzie was about to tell him. When he had arrived at the hospital, a young nurse had taken his name and said, in a surprised tone, ‘Oh, you ’re her husband. But I thought . . .’ Then the girl had stopped suddenly, turned bright red and had led him swiftly to Lizzie’s room, scuttling away in embarrassment. But it had been enough – more than enough – for Billy to guess that there had already been another visitor.
He leaned closer and whispered, ‘Just tell me it’s over, Lizzie.’
When she nodded, he patted her hand and smiled. ‘Just remember I love you with all my heart, Lizzie. I always have and I always will.’
‘But my face. I’ll be scarred for life.’
‘Not to me,’ Billy said, bravely. ‘To me you’ll always be beautiful.’ But inside his heart was breaking for her.
After a whole week’s compassionate leave, Billy went back to Sheffield before he had to return to duty. He called in to Emily’s home one evening. ‘I have to go back tomorrow, Emily. I don’t have to ask you to look out for Lizzie and her mam, ’cos I know you will. They’re transferring her back here next week, they think, but it’s when she’s out of hospital that I’m worried about. Her wounds are healing remarkably well, but . . .’ He stopped and bit his lip. There was obviously something else bothering him and Emily had a shrewd suspicion she knew what it was. She was unsure just how much Lizzie had told him and she didn’t want to make matters worse.
So she just said, ‘As soon as she’s well enough, I’ll see what I can find for her to do. She won’t be able to go back to munitions or to the buffing. For one thing, they don’t know if her arm will heal completely yet, do they?’
Billy shook his head.
‘And she mustn’t get any dirt in her facial wound either, so I’ll see what I can find for her. Maybe she could help out in the shop with your mother.’
‘Maybe, but she’s so upset about her face. I don’t reckon she’ll want to go out in public. She – she seems so depressed – I’m afraid she—’ He stopped, unable or afraid to put his terrible fear into words.
Emily touched his arm and said softly, ‘I’ll look after her. We all will. I’ll talk to your mam when Lizzie’s feeling better. See what we can come up with.’
He frowned. ‘I don’t know if she’ll be able to work and Bess is getting on in years. I send my pay home, of course, but . . .’
‘Now, you really needn’t worry about that, Billy. We’ve been through some tough times before and come through them. We’ll look after both of them, you have my word.’
His worried expression lightened and as he stood up to go, he hugged her swiftly. ‘Thanks, Emily. I don’t know what we’d do without you. Your strength and courage keep us all going.’
The following week, Lizzie was brought to a Sheffield hospital but it was another two weeks before she came home. She was still weak and sunk in gloom. Bess fussed around her, but it wasn’t until Emily went to see her in the evening that Lizzie brightened up.
‘Mam’s driving me mad,’ the girl confided in a low whisper. ‘Fuss, fuss, fuss. She won’t let me lift a finger.’
‘Well, it’s high time you did. And it’s time you came out for a little walk each day or you’ll never get stronger.’
‘I can’t go out, Emily. I couldn’t bear the stares and the pointing fingers.’
Emily put her head on one side and regarded her friend thoughtfully. ‘And why would they do that, pray?’
Lizzie laughed wryly, but tears filled her eyes. ‘Look at me! I’ll have kids following me in the street, shouting “Quasimodo” after me or worse.’
‘He was a hunchback.’
‘And ugly. Like I am now.’
Emily stood up suddenly. ‘Well, if you’re going to sit here and drown in self-pity, Lizzie, I’m going. I’ve better things to do and other people to help.’
‘Don’t go, Emily. Please don’t go. No one else comes to see me.’
Emily frowned as she sat down slowly. ‘What do you mean? You’ve had a stream of visitors. Mrs Bayes has been several times and Nell’s called, I know that.’
Emily saw the surprise in her eyes. ‘I have? I – I didn’t know. Mam must have stopped them coming in.’
Emily pursed her lips and said, ‘Mm.’
For the first time since the accident, Lizzie smiled, though her smile was a little lopsided. ‘Oo-er. I know that look and the ominous “Mm”. I wouldn’t be in Mam’s shoes.’
Emily laughed. ‘I’ll go easy on her. She only wants what’s best for you, but hiding yourself away, Lizzie, isn’t the best thing.’ She leaned forward. ‘Don’t you think our lovely city is scarred after all the bombing and a lot of folk have been injured? And what about the ones who’ve been killed? Don’t you think their families would give anything for them still to be alive, even if they were maimed? Sadly, you’re not the only one, love.’
‘I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier.’
‘No, I know that.’ Emily took her friend’s right hand in hers and squeezed it. ‘But what I’m trying to say is that people understand.
They won’t laugh, because, sadly, they’re getting used to seeing wounded folk just like you.’
Lizzie gave a heavy sigh. ‘You’re right, Emily. Of course you are and I will try. Maybe tomorrow . . .’
As Emily left the house, she found Bess busy in the kitchen. She put her arm around the older woman’s shoulders. ‘Let visitors in to see her, Mrs Dugdale, there’s a love. It’ll do her the world of good.’
Bess wiped her eyes with the corner of her apron. ‘I can’t bear for them to see her like that. She was so pretty, Emily. I can hardly bring myself to look at her, ne’er mind strangers.’
‘We’re not strangers. And, like I’ve just said to her, there are countless folk in our city in the same boat. Soldiers wounded in the war, civilians injured in the bombing and in accidents like the explosion where she worked. And there’re a lot worse than Lizzie. One of those girls alongside her had lost her leg. At least they managed to save Lizzie’s arm and she’s getting the use of her hand back, isn’t she?’
Bess nodded. ‘But her face. What about her face?’
‘She’ll have to be very brave – and so will you. She’s going to go out tomorrow and start to face the world again.’
But tomorrow turned into two days, then three and, a week later, Lizzie had still not ventured out.
In the south of England, Harry continued to fly his Spitfire. The Battle of Britain was deemed to be over, but fighter pilots were still fully occupied with various duties. After a particular tiring tour, Harry requested permission to see the Commanding Officer. But first he had to get past the CO’s watchdog; Flight Lieutenant Hartley.
‘And this is about?’ Hartley asked him as he stood smartly to attention in front of the man.
‘I’d like to request permission to go home for a few days.’
‘Why?’
‘A close family friend has been injured in her place of work. I don’t know details – it’s all very hush-hush – but Lizzie has been badly hurt. Burned, so I understand.’
Daughters of Courage Page 32