by Ariel Tachna
“We did,” Jesse said.
“That’s good. Hey, Seth, would you get me some water? I couldn’t carry it and my plate.”
“Sure,” Seth said, jumping up from the table.
“What are you doing after dinner?” Chris said as soon as Seth was out of earshot. “I’d like some time with you, without an audience.”
“We’re off the clock now,” Jesse said. “We can go out to the tractor shed after dinner. There shouldn’t be anyone else around.”
“Okay,” Chris said as Seth came back with a glass of water. He tried to keep his anticipation off his face. The last thing he needed was Seth asking why he was grinning like the Cheshire cat. “Thanks, Seth.”
“You’re welcome,” Seth said. “I have to go back over to Jason’s house after dinner. We have to do some more schoolwork since we spent the afternoon with Caine and Polly.”
“Makes me glad I got my HSC years ago,” Jesse said. “I couldn’t get out of school fast enough.”
“I don’t know,” Chris said. “It wasn’t all bad. I liked my history classes, and I loved the bio and chem stuff. I bet some of that could even be useful around here.”
“Did you ever think about going to uni and getting a degree in one of the sciences?” Jesse asked. “Vets make good money around here. Some of the larger stations even have one on site full-time.”
“This isn’t a large station?” Seth asked, his eyes growing wide.
“It’s pretty big,” Jesse said, “but not like the big cattle stations in Queensland or the Northern Territory. Some of those are thousands of clicks across.”
“Wow!” Seth said.
“Seth,” Jason called. “Come on. I don’t want to still be working on this at midnight.”
“See you later,” Seth said, waving at Chris and Jesse as he left.
“You ready?” Jesse asked, his smile widening.
Chris nodded. “I’ll meet you there in a couple of minutes. I need to take some more medicine first.”
Nine
“WHAT ARE you grinning at?”
Caine turned his attention to Macklin sitting across the table from him, back to the rest of the room as they ate dinner. “Chris and Jesse.”
“As in Chris and Jesse or Chris and Jesse?”
“Oh, definitely Chris and Jesse,” Caine said, “although I suppose either of them by himself could also be cause for a smile. Chris spent the afternoon with Neil learning to herd sheep, and Jesse didn’t like it.”
“Neil’s not gay.”
“I know that,” Caine said, rolling his eyes at Macklin’s lack of intuitiveness. “It’s not about Neil’s interest. It’s about Jesse’s interest.”
“And why is this our business?” Macklin asked. “We can’t go interfering in the lives of the men without treading very carefully. I know you like Chris—I do too, so don’t get all defensive on me—but I understand him in a way you can’t. He’s scared, pup. He’s been alone, and he didn’t like it, because no one really does, no matter what they say. He’s here now, and next to what he had before, Lang Downs is the land of milk and honey, but he’s had good things and lost them before. It’s going to take more than a week or two for him to trust in this place, to trust in us and everyone else here. If he’d been here six months or a year, it might be different, but he hasn’t been. If he and Jesse start something and it goes wrong, Chris will run faster than we can blink, and he’ll never get another chance like the one he has here.”
“And if something goes right, wouldn’t it be another reason to stay?” Caine asked.
Macklin chuckled. “You’re determined to make everyone else as happy as you are, aren’t you?”
“There’s no harm in it,” Caine said, feeling defensive.
“This time there might be. Not if it works, maybe, but Chris needs time to heal and feel safe or his fears and insecurities will sabotage his chances. I know you want to help, pup, and it’s one of the many things that makes you the man you are”—Caine didn’t need the words to understand the subtext, the man I love—“but you have to trust me this time. I’ve been in Chris’s shoes. If I’d met you at his age, I’d have fucked things up because I wasn’t ready for you then. Hell, I nearly fucked things up at twice his age.”
“But you didn’t,” Caine said with a smile. He didn’t reach over and squeeze Macklin’s hand, not when they were in public. “So how do we help Chris and Jesse now?”
“We don’t,” Macklin said, “at least not the way you mean. We help Chris feel settled and help him gain some confidence in his place here and his value to us, and we help Jesse put down roots too, and maybe when they’re both a little more certain of where they are, they’ll feel comfortable thinking about who they’re with or want to be with.”
“Okay,” Caine said. “I can do that.” He leaned in closer. “I’m betting on them, though, and if I’m right, if they get it together and make it work the way I know they can, your ass is mine.”
“What does my arse have to do with the success or failure of their relationship?” Macklin asked.
“Nothing,” Caine said, “but it’s one hell of an incentive for me to help them find their way.”
“Are you suggesting I work against that?” Macklin asked.
“I should hope it would be an incentive to work for them,” Caine retorted.
“You don’t need an incentive to work for them. You need to let them find their own way,” Macklin repeated. “We’ll discuss my arse another time.”
Caine frowned but let it go. He’d keep wearing Macklin down a little at a time, and eventually he’d convince his lover to let go of his control in the bedroom.
“You want to explain what you were doing with Seth and Jason this afternoon?”
Caine accepted the change of topic and smiled. “Pretending to be a sheep. Polly likes me. She played along so Seth could learn.”
JESSE PACED the confines of the tractor shed nervously. It wasn’t dark outside yet, but without the lights on in the shed, the space was dim, closer to twilight than day, and it would only get darker as time passed. He took a deep breath, the smell of machine oil comforting him. Maybe it wasn’t the most romantic smell in the world, but it represented safety for Jesse. Even at the lowest points in his life, going to a shop somewhere and working on engines had given him comfort, and usually enough income to keep a roof over his head and food in his belly.
The door creaked softly on its hinges as it opened and closed. Even in the shadows, Jesse had no problem following Chris’s progress across the dusty floor. “Over here,” he called when he realized Chris had not seen him as easily.
Chris turned in his direction and came over to the straw bale where Jesse was sitting. He sat down next to Jesse, staring straight ahead in silence for so long that Jesse wondered if he’d changed his mind.
“I missed you today,” Jesse said finally, sliding an arm around Chris’s waist, glad the cast was on Chris’s other side so he could pull Chris close without the weight of the plaster between them. “I’m glad you worked with Neil and are learning about the station, but it made me realize how used I’d got to having you around.”
That took care of what remained of Chris’s reserve. He tipped his head up for a kiss. Jesse gave it gladly, relaxing into the contact. He’d fucked and been fucked during the winter in Melbourne, but it had been a long time since anyone had been interested in kissing him. He tugged on Chris’s leg, urging him to straddle Jesse’s lap so they could kiss more easily.
“Caine is onto us,” Jesse said between kisses. “I don’t know how much he knows, but he made some pointed comments before dinner.”
“Besides telling you not to be late?”
“Yeah, about not being jealous of Neil.”
“All Neil can think about is Molly.”
“I know,” Jesse said, “but he got to spend the afternoon with you and I didn’t.”
“He isn’t interested in me,” Chris repeated, “and I’m only interested in what he
can teach me.”
“Good,” Jesse said, refusing to acknowledge the satisfaction he got from Chris’s statement. “I couldn’t decide if Caine approved or not.”
“I signed on to work at the station because it was a job and a safe place for my brother,” Chris said. “I didn’t sign over control of my life. I’m not saying we should flaunt it. I’m not stupid, and even if I were, getting the shite beaten out of me for being gay cured me of that. It feels good to have someone else’s hands on me tonight instead of my own, not that I’m getting a lot of action at the moment with my arm in this stupid cast. I haven’t got laid since Tony kicked us out.”
“You aren’t getting laid tonight either,” Jesse said with a laugh. “I don’t carry condoms in my jeans when I’m at work.”
“I’m sure we could think of something,” Chris said, his hand moving between them to cup Jesse’s cock through his jeans. “We can’t let this go to waste.”
“Be my guest.” Jesse leaned back on his elbows, giving Chris space to decide how he wanted the rest of their encounter to go. He might say he wasn’t an inexperienced kid, but Jesse would still let him set the pace.
Chris had no such hesitations, following Jesse back to kiss him far more aggressively than he’d done before. The change of mood surprised Jesse slightly, but yesterday had been romance. This was sex. Jesse was pragmatic enough to accept the difference even if he missed the sweet tenderness of their first kisses. They’d find it again when the mood was right.
When Chris fumbled one-handed with the buckle of his belt, Jesse pushed up again to help, opening his belt and pants but leaving it up to Chris what to do next. “I could have done that,” Chris said.
“I know,” Jesse said, “but this was faster. Now you don’t have to worry about it.”
Chris grinned and slid down between Jesse’s knees, pushing them apart. He buried his face against Jesse’s groin and inhaled deeply. “You do want me.”
“Of course I want you,” Jesse groaned.
Chris didn’t reply, instead slipping his hand into Jesse’s pants to stroke him with more enthusiasm than finesse, adding to Jesse’s sense that Chris wasn’t as experienced as he claimed. He wasn’t going to argue now, though, not with Chris’s hand circling him eagerly, drawing him out of the open placket of his pants.
Chris’s mouth more than made up for his hand’s awkwardness. Maybe the problem was the left hand, not Chris’s overall experience, because Chris sucked Jesse like someone who knew what to do with a hard dick and the guy it was attached to, lingering over the tip before diving deep and then backing off to tease the slit again.
Jesse groaned and collapsed back on his elbows. It felt damn good to be touched so eagerly, and not by a random stranger but by someone who knew him, someone who cared about him at least as friends. He tugged at Chris’s hair, bringing him off the floor and up where Jesse could kiss him again and touch him as well. Chris’s hand continued the work his mouth had begun, and Jesse didn’t even mind the occasional fumble, because Chris wanted to be there with him, wanted him. He popped the button on Chris’s jeans, getting his hand inside so he could reciprocate some of the pleasure Chris was giving him.
Chris groaned into Jesse’s mouth, his hips jerking on the straw bale as Jesse stroked him urgently. “Shhh,” Jesse whispered in his ear. “We don’t want anyone coming to investigate any strange noises.”
Chris nodded, clearly making an effort to stifle his sounds, but as soon as Jesse touched him again, the groans started back up. Jesse smiled at the thought of making Chris feel that good. Chris’s hand stilled as Jesse worked him faster, but Jesse found he didn’t even care. He was high on the little sounds pouring from Chris’s mouth into his own. He’d get Chris off and then see to himself if Chris was too far gone to reciprocate. It just felt too good to have a hand other than his own on his body.
It didn’t take long before Chris shuddered against him with a long moan, his cock spilling all over Jesse’s hand. Jesse kept stroking through the aftershocks, stretching out Chris’s pleasure as long as he could. Eventually Chris flinched a little, letting Jesse know he’d grown overly sensitive in the aftermath of his orgasm, so Jesse let the sated organ slip from his grasp. Chris still panted against Jesse’s neck, little flutters of breath that sent shivers down Jesse’s back. He waited a moment longer, but Chris’s hand stayed still against his flesh. Jesse wanted to be patient, but the need for release was driving him hard. With a guy he’d picked up in a bar, he might have shoved the other man’s head back down to finish what he’d started, but Chris rested too trustingly in Jesse’s arms for him to do that, not this time anyway. Not when he wanted to be able to look Chris in the eye tomorrow.
Instead, he closed his hand around Chris’s, moving their fists over his shaft. Chris stirred immediately. “I’m sorry, that was selfish,” he said, his lips moving against Jesse’s neck.
“It’s fine,” Jesse replied, their combined grip working him to a frenzy. “Just don’t stop now.”
Chris grinned at him. “Not stopping,” he promised. Jesse let his hand drop to the side now that Chris was stroking him again. Chris’s hand felt far better than his own ever could. His release bubbled up in his balls, trying to explode out of him. He fought it back, not wanting the moment to end since he didn’t know when they’d get a chance for a repeat.
Chris wasn’t having any of that, though, biting along Jesse’s neck and jaw as he stroked faster.
“Don’t do too much of that,” Jesse moaned, “or everyone will know what we’ve been up to.”
“Do you think they’ll care?” Chris asked.
Jesse didn’t know, but he didn’t really want to find out when he didn’t know what “this” was. If they had committed to a real relationship, he’d stick to his guns and tell everyone to fuck off if they said anything, but he couldn’t risk his place at the station or the respect of the other hands for a casual fuck, and they hadn’t discussed anything more. “I’d rather not take that chance.”
Chris seemed to accept that, gentling the contact of his lips to soft kisses instead of the little nips from before, but it was still enough, combined with the increased rhythm of Chris’s stroking, to push Jesse over the edge. He grunted as he climaxed, his release splattering his T-shirt and Chris’s hand.
When the shudders eased, Jesse turned to look at Chris, only to realize darkness had fallen almost completely inside the shed and nearly as much outside. “We should probably get back,” he said, his voice laced with regret. “I don’t know if Macklin or Caine will look for you, but we don’t want to give anyone a reason to wonder what we were doing when everyone else is hanging out in the bunkhouse unwinding or already asleep. Besides, morning comes early.”
“Even earlier for me since I have to help Kami get breakfast ready,” Chris said, “and with the shearing starting, it’s extra early tomorrow.” He fumbled with his pants, his right arm at a weird angle as he worked around the cast to get his hand to the button.
“Here, let me,” Jesse said. “It’s not every day I button a guy back up. I’m usually trying to get his pants undone.”
“You can undo mine any time you like,” Chris said. “Well, any time it’s safe to do so, anyway.”
“Honestly, it’s probably safe here,” Jesse said, finishing with Chris’s pants. “Not that we want to flaunt it, necessarily, but we’re both adults, and Caine and Macklin wouldn’t keep people on who had a problem with them being together, so why should it be any different for us?”
“Because we aren’t really together?” Chris asked. “I mean, they’re the real thing. We’re just….”
“Seeing what happens,” Jesse finished, not willing to commit to more than he could give. He’d enjoyed the past half hour with Chris, but now they had to go their separate ways, each back to his own bunk, with no chance of a repeat during the night or even simply of a warm body to hold him close after a bad dream. He didn’t have nightmares like he used to, but they still surprised him occas
ionally, and waking up alone with cold sweat pouring off him in rivers was no fun. Having someone there to soothe the nightmare away was a rare luxury, but one he dreamed of someday enjoying. That would have to wait for another time and another man, though. Chris was fine with sex, but he wasn’t ready for the rest, and Jesse would have to respect that if he had any hope of having even the sex.
“Yeah, that,” Chris said. “I’ll see you at breakfast?”
“I’ll be there,” Jesse said, leaning in to give Chris one last kiss before they parted.
CHRIS WALKED slowly back to the station house. His arm hurt a little from leaning on it awkwardly, and his ribs ached a little from twisting to kiss Jesse, but the rest of his body felt incredible: loose, free, relaxed for the first time in months. Sex with Jesse was definitely an added bonus to life on Lang Downs. Happiness bubbled up inside him as he stepped onto the veranda. He could go inside, head upstairs, and hope he could get to his room in time to enjoy the moment in private, but Caine and Macklin often sat in the living room in the evenings, and Seth would want to talk about his schoolwork or about his afternoon with Jason or about whatever else popped into his head. Deciding to wait a little longer before facing them, he sat down on one of the rough-hewn wooden chairs on the veranda and rested his head against the headrest.
The afternoon had gone a long way toward easing his concerns about what life might be like long term at Lang Downs. He and Kami had developed a functioning relationship, but Chris didn’t really see himself spending the rest of his life working in a kitchen. He managed under the circumstances, but it wasn’t something that interested him. He could do it well enough to help Kami out, but he wouldn’t want to be the one responsible for all the meals. If Caine and Macklin had him in mind as Kami’s successor for the day when the cook decided he was ready to retire, they’d need to think again.
The door opened behind him, interrupting his thoughts. He tensed a little when Macklin came out and sat down in the chair next to him. He didn’t want to share the lingering afterglow with anyone.