by Ariel Tachna
“I will,” Caine said, “but I thought I’d make you feel good first.”
“You make me feel good just by being in the same room with me, pup.”
“Then this will feel even better.”
Macklin grinned as Caine nipped at his skin, lingering on his nipples until they were hard little buds, desperate for more attention. All the while, Caine moved his hand slowly on Macklin’s cock, keeping the stimulation constant. Macklin shifted on the bed, spreading his legs as he planted his feet so he could thrust into Caine’s hand. Caine chuckled and shifted his attention from Macklin’s nipples to his balls, licking and sucking at them without speeding the damnable slow rhythm of his hand. When he felt the fingers of Caine’s other hand slip into his crease and begin their explorations, he didn’t even tense. He’d grown accustomed to their touch. Not immune, not by any means, but he no longer tensed up in rejection as they slipped through his guardian muscle and probed inside, stretching and opening him.
“Don’t wait too long, pup.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ll come.”
“Can’t get it up twice anymore?” Caine teased.
“I’m not twenty anymore.”
“I bet I could persuade you,” Caine said, fingering Macklin’s prostate and licking at the head of his cock. “I know all your hot spots.”
Macklin couldn’t argue with that. “I don’t want to wait any longer. I want you, Caine.”
Caine’s answer was to kiss Macklin until Macklin dug his fingers into Caine’s back. Then he felt Caine’s weight settle against him, covering him as he slotted his cock against Macklin’s entrance and pushed until the head popped through. They both froze, breaths coming in pants, bathing each other’s faces.
“I love you.”
The instinctive need to tense fled and Macklin relaxed completely, allowing Caine to slide deeper inside him. “You’re inside me.”
“Some,” Caine said, pushing a little more. “You okay?”
“Never been better,” Macklin said, and he meant it too. All the reasons for refusing suddenly seemed ridiculous in the face of the overwhelming sense of rightness. He belonged to Caine and Caine to him and the station—and the future—to them both. The need that had been building slowly demanded more attention now. He wrapped his legs around Caine’s hips, urging him to move. He felt each thrust from beginning to end as Caine drove into him, still careful but less hesitant as Macklin urged him on.
The scent of musk and desire surrounded them, so that Macklin breathed it in with each inhale. His eyes closed without his volition, hiding the sight of Caine’s beloved face, but Macklin didn’t need to see to know every nuance of desire and love as Caine pushed them toward release.
“Please, pup,” Macklin begged, needing to come.
Caine’s hand returned to Macklin’s cock, providing the final stimulation Macklin needed. He clenched and cried out as his orgasm escaped him. Seconds later, Caine joined him. Macklin could feel the stickiness between his thighs and the sensation made him quiver with renewed need. He wouldn’t be ready for round two anytime soon, but he’d carry the memory with him all day, and that would have him ready again come tonight.
“Thank you,” he said softly.
“For what?” Caine asked.
“For loving me enough to stay.”
Caine’s only reply was another long kiss.
Eighteen
EVERYONE ON the station had come out for Christmas dinner as far as Chris could tell, even the families who probably had or would later have smaller celebrations just for them. Chris was glad for the huge dinner. It lessened the feeling of missing his mum and of not being able to make it a real holiday for Seth. Their little house might not have much more in the way of decorations than the wreath Caine gave them, but Seth was still getting as much Christmas cheer as any teenager could ask for.
“How’s the ham?” Jesse asked, sitting down next to Chris with a plate piled high with ham, lamb, spuds, and all the fixings for a perfect Christmas feast.
“Delicious,” Chris said, skewering another piece with his fork, “but everything Kami makes is delicious.”
“One of the great joys of working at Lang Downs,” Jesse agreed.
Chris pouted. “You mean I’m not?”
“I didn’t say that,” Jesse said, tapping Chris’s protruding lower lip with his fork. “I said one of the great joys, not the only or even the greatest.”
Chris knew he should leave it at that, but he couldn’t stop the words. “And what is the greatest?”
“If I say it’s not having to hide being gay, I’m going to be sleeping in the bunkhouse tonight, aren’t I?” Jesse teased.
“Maybe not,” Chris said after a moment’s internal debate. “After all, not hiding means being able to be with me more.”
Jesse chuckled and shook his head. “The best part of this summer has been you without a doubt, Chris. I was just teasing.”
Chris wanted to say he’d known that and reply in turn, but the words meant too much now that he’d admitted to himself how he felt about Jesse. Jesse’s comment might not be a declaration of love, but it was one of regard, and that made Chris’s heart beat just a little bit faster.
He wanted to say more, but some conversations needed privacy, and the canteen in the middle of Christmas dinner did not provide anything resembling privacy, so Chris changed the subject. “Seth’s birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. Mum always made a big deal out of it so he wouldn’t feel like it got lost in Christmas, but I have no idea what to do for him here.”
“We’ll have a surprise party,” Jesse said immediately. “Jason will help us keep Seth away from your house while everyone comes over. We don’t have to invite the whole station if you don’t want to, but I bet if you really wanted to do it up big, Caine and Macklin would let you use the canteen and have it here. It could be almost as big as Christmas.”
“That would make Seth feel good,” Chris said. “They’ve done so much for us already, though. I’d feel bad about asking for more.”
“But that’s just it,” Jesse said. “Kami’s already cooking, so it’s not like he’d be cooking anything extra except maybe a cake. We’d have to get decorations from Boorowa, but we can pay for those. The only thing you’d be asking is permission to use this space instead of doing it at your house, and that doesn’t cost them anything.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Chris said, turning the idea over in his head. “I’m still not sure how I feel about it, but it’s for Seth. It’s been such a hard year. He deserves to have something special.”
“Exactly,” Jesse said. “We’ll talk to Caine after dinner and see what he says. If he says no, then we’ll plan it at your place instead.”
Chris still wasn’t completely comfortable with the idea of asking Caine and Macklin for more special favors, but it was for Seth, and he’d do for Seth things he wouldn’t consider doing for himself.
“What’s his favorite meal?” Jesse went on. “We can ask Kami if he’d be willing to make it that night. With a couple of weeks’ notice, it shouldn’t be a problem to rearrange his menu even if he’s already planned that far ahead.”
“He plans meals at least a month in advance so he can be sure to have supplies on hand,” Chris said, thinking back to his tenure in the kitchen, “but if it’s something he makes regularly, he could probably swap days without too much trouble.”
“So what would you have him make for Seth?” Jesse asked.
“I don’t know,” Chris said, squirming internally at the thought of being so out of touch with his brother despite all the time they’d spent together. “Before we came here, we ate whatever we could afford or I could bring home from the restaurant, and once we got here, it’s been whatever Kami served. There hasn’t been a lot of time to think about what we’d have if we actually had a choice.”
“And asking him would ruin the surprise,” Jesse said. “There’s Caine. Let’s ask him about using the canteen. We
can figure the rest out if he says yes.”
Chris checked to make sure Seth was still occupied with Jason and the other kids. When he saw that Seth wasn’t paying attention, Chris nodded and waved Caine over.
“Merry Christmas,” Caine said. “Are you having fun?”
“Yes, very much,” Jesse said. “Chris wanted to ask a favor.”
Chris glared at Jesse. “Happy Christmas,” he said first. “It’s Seth’s birthday in a couple of weeks, and my mum always had a big party for him so he wouldn’t feel like it got lost in Christmas. I know it’s a lot to ask, but could we use the canteen and have his party here?”
“Of course,” Caine said immediately. “We’ll get Kami to bake a cake and everyone will celebrate.”
“We want it to be a surprise,” Chris said. “We thought Jason could help distract him.”
“Jason will love that,” Caine said. “He loves a good surprise. We’ll give Seth a party he’ll never forget.”
“It’ll be enough to decorate the canteen and have everyone here.”
Caine frowned. “When’s his birthday?”
Chris gave him the date.
“My parents will still be here. Let us give Seth a party he’ll remember. We can tell him it’s for my parents, since they’re leaving soon after and I don’t know when I’ll get to see them again. That way he won’t be suspicious of any preparations he might see or overhear.”
“But then your parents won’t have a going-away party,” Chris protested.
“No, they’ll have Seth’s birthday party, and they’ll enjoy that far more. Trust me. My father hates people fussing over him. This will let me do it without upsetting him and while making Seth happy at the same time. You and Jesse figure out what you want to do and let Kami know. I’ll tell him to make it happen. If it means an extra trip to town, well, there’s always a list of things to buy so it won’t be wasted.”
Emotion welled up in Chris’s throat, making it hard to talk. Kami had told him months ago that he only had to stretch out his hand and take what Lang Downs had to offer, but Chris hadn’t really believed him then. Even the offer of moving into Neil’s house hadn’t convinced him completely, because it served Macklin and Caine to have Chris and Seth elsewhere. This, though, this was different. Caine didn’t have any reason to do this other than to be kind to Seth. Sometime over the past three months, Chris had become a part of Lang Downs, and now he was benefiting from it, just as Kami had promised.
“Thank you,” Chris said, too touched to say anything else.
“I TOLD you he’d say yes,” Jesse said later when they were back at Chris’s house. Seth had begged to go over to Jason’s house for the evening, and Patrick had repeated the invitation when Chris checked with him, so Chris and Jesse had the house to themselves. Jesse wasn’t complaining. He’d gotten to spend more time alone with Chris after Chris and Seth moved out of the big house, but it was never enough.
“It’s not so much that I thought he’d say no as that I worried about imposing on him,” Chris explained. “I’m still not convinced I’m not imposing, but we’re committed now, so we’ll do what he said.”
Jesse supposed he could see Chris’s concern, but Chris had no frame of reference. “Lang Downs is the only station you’ve ever worked on,” he said. “You don’t see it because you don’t have anything to compare it to, but even a party like the one we had today for Christmas wouldn’t have happened on any other station I’ve worked on. The grazier might have given us the day off and let us have a barbie at the bunkhouse or something, but it would have been up to us to organize it, to do the shopping, everything. The idea of having the party at the canteen with the grazier and his family in attendance, the idea of the seasonal jackaroos being treated like part of that family, would never have occurred to me until I got here. Now it’s the most logical thing in the world because Caine makes it that way, and nobody who’s been around seemed surprised, so Caine’s uncle must have made it that way, but it’s still special. Lang Downs is special. It’s a place to keep coming back to, summer after summer, no matter what you do in the winter.”
“So I guess I’m worrying over nothing?”
“Something like that,” Jesse agreed, “but I promise not to rub it in. What should we have Kami make for dinner?”
“A good old-fashioned barbie,” Chris said after a moment. “Steaks and lamb and snags, all the good stuff, and all the barbie fixings. We’ll eat in the canteen, but that way it feels like a party with the grill going outside and everyone hanging around celebrating.”
“Seth will love that,” Jesse agreed. “We’ll have to make a trip into town to get him something for his birthday. Even if everyone else just gives him the party, you’ll want a present for him, and I’d like to get one for him too.”
Jesse had seen Seth grow up so much since they arrived on the station. To Jesse’s knowledge, Seth hadn’t played a prank on anyone since he’d messed up Patrick’s toolbox. Instead, at Jason’s side, Seth had blossomed, learning about the station and sheepherding. From what Chris had said, Seth had almost completely caught up in his schoolwork and would be able to finish high school on time during the next school year. “Has Seth talked at all about what he wants to do once he gets his HSC?”
“He loves machines,” Chris said. “I imagine he’ll look for a job as a mechanic somewhere.”
“Do you think he’ll stay here on the station?”
“I don’t know,” Chris replied. “I’ll support him, whatever he decides.”
That was one of the things that made Chris so remarkable as far as Jesse was concerned. He’d learned the lessons of intolerance the hard way and so did everything in his power to keep his brother from the same experience. Seth might not appreciate it now, but Jesse hoped he would see it eventually.
Nineteen
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Seth!”
The chorus of cheers rang out in the canteen as Seth and Jason came in. Seth looked so startled Chris nearly laughed out loud. Then understanding sank in and gratitude replaced startlement. Seth searched him out of the crowd and ran to him, throwing his arms around Chris and hugging him so tightly Chris couldn’t breathe. Breathing didn’t matter, he decided, as he held tight to his little brother. “Happy birthday,” Chris repeated.
“You did this for me?”
“With a little help from Jesse, Caine, and Kami,” Chris said. “We wanted your first birthday here to be a special one.”
Seth looked around the room at all the smiling faces, the decorations, the platters of food, and the pile of gifts. “You did it. This is off the hook.”
“Go on,” Chris said, nudging Seth toward the food. “Everyone was waiting for you to get here so we could eat.”
AS PEOPLE began finishing their dinner, someone, Jesse never saw who, turned on a radio. He pitched in to help push the tables to the sides, opening the center of the canteen for anyone who wanted to dance.
To Jesse’s surprise, Caine’s mother grabbed Seth’s hand to pull him out to dance. Seth laughed and tried to demur, but Caine had seemingly come by his tenaciousness naturally, and Seth eventually gave in. The dance was more comical than graceful, but it got everyone else out on the floor with them. When the song ended, Molly took Mrs. Neiheisel’s place as Seth’s partner, much to Seth’s embarrassed delight, if the look on his face was anything to go by. Jesse had no interest in women from a romantic perspective, but he could see why Neil—or Seth—would find Molly attractive.
Caine’s mother moved on to Macklin, who danced much better than Jesse had expected. He saw Macklin as more of a loner, not someone who’d spent a lot of time dancing or anything like that, but Macklin acquitted himself quite well.
“Your turn, Caine,” Mrs. Neiheisel called when the song finished. Caine came out to take her hand, but she shook her head and pushed Caine toward Macklin.
Jesse held his breath, not sure how anyone would react to that: Macklin, Caine, or the other jackaroos. Caine laughed and shook his head, but
his mother insisted and Neil quickly echoed it. In a matter of seconds, everyone in the room was cheering for Caine to agree and dance with Macklin.
“Fine, you win,” Caine said, laughing as he took Macklin’s hand.
The music started again, and Jesse could tell they’d never danced together before as they tried to figure out who would lead, but it didn’t take them long to find their rhythm.
“You should dance with Chris,” Seth said, appearing at Jesse’s side.
“What?” Jesse said, so surprised that Seth would suggest it that he couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Everybody wanted Caine and Macklin to dance,” Seth said. “Nobody will care if you and Chris dance.”
“Chris and I aren’t….” Jesse waved a hand helplessly in Caine and Macklin’s direction. Panic clawed at him at the very thought. He hadn’t even realized Seth knew about him and Chris, much less that anyone else might. They were friends, sure, fucking around when they had time and energy, but they weren’t together. They weren’t a couple. They didn’t have the kind of relationship that would let them dance together for everyone to see.
“Tell me another one,” Seth said with a disbelieving snort. “Chris’s totally gone over you, and don’t try to tell me otherwise. I know my brother better than that.”
Jesse swallowed hard, looking over to where Chris danced with Molly, carefree and beautiful and so desirable. Jesse didn’t have any trouble admitting his desire for Chris, not that he’d say that aloud. Some things Seth didn’t need to hear. But more than that?
Jesse had never thought in those terms. He was a drifter, and he liked it that way. Eight or nine months of work, then a few months off, no stress, no responsibilities, nothing to hold him down when the next good thing caught his eye. Chris wasn’t that way, though. He was tied to Seth if nothing else, but Jesse had seen the longing in Chris’s eyes for a place to belong. Lang Downs could provide that, not just for Seth but for Chris, giving them both a home and a future they’d thought lost. Chris deserved that. He deserved better than someone who didn’t want to commit past the current season. Sure, Jesse liked Lang Downs. He’d pretty much decided to come back next summer, but that was as far as he’d gotten.