by Ariel Tachna
“Yeah, he gets that way sometimes,” Sam apologized. “I could talk to him, try to get him to see that whatever happened wasn’t your fault.”
“Cheers, mate, but don’t put yourself out. I don’t want to make problems between you over something that isn’t your problem in the first place. He’ll get used to seeing me around and maybe one of these days he’ll realize I’m not Devlin, and I don’t share his opinions about Caine or about how to run a station.”
“Which of those is the real problem?” Sam asked. “Because you know he would have shared your brother’s opinion about Caine until a year or so ago.”
“Which opinion?” Jeremy asked. “That he was a blow-in with no business owning a station or that he was an embarrassment to us all because he’s a poofter?”
Sam cringed a little hearing the insult fall casually from Jeremy’s mouth. “Both, probably,” Sam admitted, “although he seems to have gotten over both. Caine saved his life. I don’t know if you knew that part. Neil’s loyal to him now.”
“I’d heard it mentioned,” Jeremy said. “For what it’s worth, I think it’s bloody brilliant that we have some new blood around here to shake things up, and what Caine does in his private life and with who is none of my business. I told you, I don’t share Devlin’s opinions.”
“That’s good to hear since you’re working for him now,” Sam said.
“I wouldn’t have accepted Macklin’s offer if I couldn’t work here in good conscience,” Jeremy said. “Neil thinks I’m here to undermine the station or something ridiculous like that, but I’m not. I had a falling out with my brother and coming here was the easiest option open to me. If it hadn’t worked out, I would have gone elsewhere, but it did, and I’m not about to complain about working with a man I respect, doing a job I love.”
“You sound just like Neil. That’s what makes it so bloody stupid that he won’t see past your name.”
“Prejudices are tricky things,” Jeremy replied philosophically. “It takes a lot to make a person see past them sometimes. I meant what I told Macklin that first night. I won’t start anything with Neil. I’ll work with a different team or do something else entirely. I don’t need to be foreman or in charge of a team or anything else. I’m happy with a roof over my head and Kami’s excellent cooking. Neil will see that eventually or he won’t, but it’s no skin off my back either way.”
Sam wasn’t sure why it was so important to him that Neil and Jeremy reach a point of tolerating each other—or rather, that Neil reach a point of tolerating Jeremy—but the station was a small place, about to get smaller with all the seasonal jackaroos leaving for the winter, and no one wanted to live with that kind of tension between coworkers.
He deliberately pushed aside thoughts of his own interest in Jeremy. He had no reason to believe that was reciprocated, and he didn’t want to add tension of his own to the mix.
“Speaking of a roof over your head,” Sam said, “you’ll be the only one in the bunkhouse after today, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right. Why?”
“Because I can only spend so many nights listening to Neil and Molly without wanting to strangle them or smother myself,” Sam said with a wry smile, “and there aren’t a lot of other empty beds on the station except in the bunkhouse. Caine mentioned the spare room in the big house, but when I mentioned that, Chris started laughing, so I suspect it wouldn’t be any quieter than my current room.” And a lot harder to ignore. Sam would never impinge on a relationship like that, but the thought of Caine and Macklin together did a hell of a lot more to his libido than the thought of Neil and Molly. “I’d like to get a full night’s sleep again one of these days.”
“Once the jackaroos clear out, you’re welcome to whichever room you want, as far as I’m concerned,” Jeremy said. “It’ll be nice to have someone to share all that space with. Nights can get lonely out here without someone to talk to or share a beer with.”
“Brilliant,” Sam said. “I’ll get moved in when we get back tonight.”
“You don’t want to stay in Boorowa tonight?” Jeremy asked. “They won’t expect us to make the return trip today.”
Sam’s face fell as he mentally revised his spending plans for the day. “I hadn’t planned on it,” he admitted. “I guess I didn’t think it through. I’m not sure I have enough to pay for a hotel room and new gear. I guess I’ll have to get a few things this month and come back next month to buy more.”
“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot,” Jeremy apologized immediately. “I forgot this was your first check. This time of year, most people are flush from a summer’s wages and nowhere to really spend them. We’ll just shop fast and drive late to get back. I know Taylor Peak well enough to drive across it even at night, and once we get back on Lang Downs, the roads are maintained enough to follow with no problem.”
“Sorry,” Sam said. “I didn’t mean to mess up your plans for the day. If you want to stay in town, I could sleep in the ute.” It would be hell on his back, but it would be better than making Jeremy change his plans because Sam was short on cash.
“No worries,” Jeremy said. “That would be cold and miserable. We’ll be there in about fifteen minutes. I’ll tell Paul we’re in a bit of a hurry so he loads everything up quickly. We’ll get what you need, get lunch, and get back on the road this afternoon. We can pick up sandwiches to eat as we drive back since we won’t make it home in time for dinner, but we’ll get back tonight.”
“Thanks,” Sam said, not sure he had hidden his relief as much as he wanted to. “Next time, when I don’t have to buy a whole new kit, I’ll make it up to you.”
“There’s nothing to make up,” Jeremy insisted. “The Boorowa Hotel is nice enough, but it’s not like there’s tons of things to do in town. It’s habit, more than anything else, to stay the night. I know some of the men hook up with the town girls, but that’s never been my style.”
“Not into casual hookups?” Sam asked.
“I’ve got nothing against them,” Jeremy said, “but I’m not into small-town drama, and in a town this size, there’s always something.”
Sam remembered how much drama had surrounded his casual hookups in Melbourne, how he’d always checked out the bars he went to, making sure the guy he’d slept with last time wasn’t there before he settled down to meet someone new, and the tension he felt if a guy he’d hooked up with before came in while he was still there. The sex had been good. The rest had been more drama than he needed in his life.
“Yeah, I can see that,” Sam said when he realized Jeremy seemed to be waiting for a reply. “It’s not really my scene either.”
“You wouldn’t want to give your ex something to drag into court, anyway,” Jeremy said. “No reason to make your divorce messier than it has to be.”
“I’m not fighting her over anything,” Sam said. “I just want it to be done and the papers signed. I’m ready for that part of my life to be over.”
“How much longer?” Jeremy asked as they reached the outskirts of Boorowa, if such a term could apply to a town of only about a thousand people.
“No more than six months, I hope,” Sam replied. “I’ll have to go back to Melbourne to sign off on everything, but since she’s keeping everything but my personal belongings, clothes and stuff, it’s not like there’s anything to haggle over.”
“That makes it easier, I guess,” Jeremy said, parking the ute near the general store. “Let’s see what we can do about getting you sorted. Paul should have everything you need, and if not, he can order it and someone can pick it up on the next trip into town.”
“What do you think I’ll need?” Sam asked as they walked toward the store. “I figured a pair of boots, a coat, and a few pairs of sturdier pants would be enough to get me through the winter.”
“Depends on whether you’re spending all your time in the office or if you’re going to come out in the paddocks with us,” Jeremy said. “If you’re in the office all the time, that’ll be more than e
nough. You probably could even do without the sturdier pants just for walking across the main road of the station to the big house. If you’re coming out with us, you’ll want long underwear and gloves as well as a hat and a Driza-Bone. A shearling coat is fine for keeping you warm on a short walk, but if you’re out riding, you’ll want the Driza-Bone both because it’s waterproof and because it’ll protect your legs, as well.”
“I don’t know,” Sam said. “I’ve never gone riding before, and I’m sure I’d just be in the way.”
“Not in the winter,” Jeremy said. “Everything is much more laid-back. There’s not a lot to do, just keeping tabs on everything. It’s actually a really good time to get your feet wet because people have the time to explain and teach instead of having the pressure of the high season on them.”
“Are you offering to teach me?” Sam asked, unable to completely stop the shot of anticipation at the thought of spending hours with the sexy jackaroo.
“If you want,” Jeremy said, “although I figured you’d prefer to go out with Neil.”
Sam shrugged. “It’s that whole older brother, younger brother thing. It makes him a bad teacher.”
“Then yes, I’ll be glad to teach you.”
“Good. Then you’ll have to make sure I get what I need,” Sam said with a huge smile.
They walked into the store, and Jeremy called out a greeting to the store owner.
“What are you doing here today, Jeremy?” the man called back. “I don’t have an order for Taylor Peak to pick up until Tuesday.”
“I’m not here for Taylor Peak’s order, Paul,” Jeremy said. “I’m here for Lang Downs’s order, and to pick up a few things for myself and my friend.”
“Does your brother know where you’re living?” Paul asked.
“I don’t know, and what’s more, I don’t care,” Jeremy replied. “He made his opinions clear when he ordered me off the station. We’re going to drive back tonight, so if you can get the order ready to load as quickly as possible, we’d appreciate it.”
Paul pursed his lips like he had something to say still, but whatever it was, he held his tongue, and Jeremy let it go, ushering Sam toward the back where Paul had shirts, work pants, and long underwear stacked. “I’ll let you dig through and find your own size,” he said to Sam. “I’ve got to get a few things of my own.”
Sam let him go. He wanted help picking out the right boots, hat, and jacket, but he could pick out his own trousers and shirts. The selection wasn’t anything fancy, but Sam didn’t need fancy. He had fancy already. The problem was what he didn’t have. He picked out three pairs of trousers and three shirts. He’d have to do laundry or else wear his city clothes when he was only going to be in the office, but he had a budget, and he had other things to buy as well.
He set the things he’d selected on the counter and went to find Jeremy. “So what kind of boots should I get?”
“I like Blundstones, although R.M. Williams is a good brand too,” Jeremy said. “I think Paul has both, so you can try them on and see which one fits you best.”
Sam asked for his size, and Paul came back a few minutes later with a pair of each brand in the right size. Sam toed off his loafers and got ready to try the boots on.
“Wait,” Jeremy said. “If you wear them with that kind of socks, you’ll tear your feet up.” He grabbed a pack of thick cotton socks and tossed them to Sam. “You’ll need a pack anyway, so go ahead and take a pair out so you can try the boots on with the right kind of socks.”
Feeling like the biggest dunce in the world, Sam did as Jeremy directed and switched his socks for the new pair. They were soft, thick, and so incredibly warm that he took a minute just to relish the feeling. A smothered cough brought him back to the present, and he quickly tried on the first pair of boots.
They were a little snug, so he pulled them off and tried on the second pair. “These are much more comfortable,” he said.
“Then get those,” Jeremy replied with a smile. He flicked a hat in Sam’s direction. “Try that on.”
Sam set the hat on his head, adjusting the brim until it settled comfortably. “How does it look?”
“Like it was made to fit you,” Jeremy said, his smile widening. Sam told himself to stop acting like a teenager with his first crush, but he couldn’t stop the bolt of pleasure that went through him at the compliment and the smile. Jeremy probably didn’t mean anything by it, but he was paying attention, and apparently that was all it took to make Sam’s heart beat a little faster.
“I know better than that,” Sam said, squirming a little under Jeremy’s continued stare, “but maybe one day, that’ll be true.”
“Everyone has to start somewhere,” Jeremy said, “and you started somewhere else, in a different life and a different career. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Sam had a hard time believing that at the moment, but he knew Jeremy was right. He just had to convince himself of it all over again in the midst of a station full of men whose masculinity was far more overt and physical. When he’d been an office manager in a city full of people with nine-to-five jobs, it had been easier to believe in his own abilities and to see his own worth. Being unable to find a new job had shaken that, but he’d tried not to give up. Coming to Lang Downs had brought him a new job, but it also gave him a whole new standard to live up to, and he was all too aware of the softness of his own body compared to the man standing next to him.
“So, what else do I need? You said something about a coat,” Sam said, deflecting Jeremy’s attention again.
“A Driza-Bone,” Jeremy said. “They’re back here.”
He led Sam to the back of the store where a rack of long, dark dusters stood. He pulled one off and handed it to Sam. “Try it on, but don’t be surprised if it doesn’t feel quite right immediately. It has to warm up before it fits right.”
Sam slid the coat over his shoulders and twitched a little, trying to get it to settle correctly. It felt distinctly odd after the suit jackets he had grown accustomed to wearing, but he already knew those would be worthless at Lang Downs. “So, what’s so special about this kind of coat?” he asked while he waited for his body heat to allow it to settle more comfortably.
“It’s waterproof, for one thing,” Jeremy said, “but the biggest thing is how it’s cut. See the split in the back? When you’re riding, that falls on either side of the horse, and you can wrap the tails around your legs to keep them warm and dry as well.”
“I’ve never ridden a horse in my life,” Sam said. “Are you sure I need this?”
“I told you I’d teach you about life on a station,” Jeremy reminded him. “That means riding, especially in the winter when the weather sometimes makes the roads impassable.”
Sam had a bad feeling about this, but he nodded anyway. Maybe he’d end up making a total fool of himself, but it had to be better than not taking the chance at all. If he had any hope of winning the respect of the men he’d be working and living with—not just Jeremy, although that would be nice, but all of them—he had to learn at least the basics of how the station worked. “You do realize what you’re getting yourself into, right?”
Jeremy grinned, the expression just wolfish enough to make Sam wonder if maybe Jeremy wasn’t as straight as Sam had assumed. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Sam gulped and turned his attention back to the Driza-Bone, which had softened around him as they talked. “You know, this is pretty comfortable now that it’s warmed up.”
“Good,” Jeremy said. “Then the only thing left is a pair of heavy gloves. It gets cold up in the tablelands, and you’ll want the protection for when we’re working too.” He grabbed Sam’s hand and turned it palm up, then put his own hand next to it. “You’ve got a few calluses to develop before you’ll be comfortable working without them.”
“I see that,” Sam said, his stomach sinking again. He couldn’t think of a single thing a man like Jeremy would see in someone like him. “Guess I better get a pair of g
loves, then.”
“Hey,” Jeremy said as Sam started to turn away. “I wasn’t making fun of you. It’s like I said. You chose a different career, and that’s still your job. All the rest, that’s just helping you be a little more comfortable in your new home. Nobody expects you to be a jackaroo. Caine and Macklin hired you to do the station’s books, not tend the sheep. Believe me, I’d be as lost doing the accounts as you feel thinking about the stuff I do. I can keep track of anything you want where the animals are concerned, but I had to drop the one business class I took, it was so far over my head.”
“Really?” Sam said. “But it’s just numbers.”
“And tax laws and hiring regulations and a hundred other things like that,” Jeremy insisted. “It was a disaster. I stayed as far away from the books at Taylor Peak as I could. Now it’s not my problem since I’m just a jackaroo at Lang Downs.”
Sam didn’t think Jeremy could ever be “just” anything, but he kept that observation to himself. He genuinely liked Jeremy, and he didn’t want to lose his friendship by coming onto him until he was sure Jeremy was interested. Sure, he’d gotten a few signals suggesting he might be, but Sam wasn’t ready to take that risk just yet. Besides, starting a new relationship before his divorce was final would be asking for trouble when the time came. Not that he could give Alison any more than he’d already agreed to give her, but he could do without the drama.
“So what kind of gloves should I get?” Sam asked. He doubted he’d ever be as comfortable or confident on the station as Jeremy, but he could at least learn enough to take part in the discussions over dinner.
Seven
BY THE time they’d finished lunch, Jeremy was glad they’d decided not to stay in town overnight. If he had to answer one more question about what had happened with Devlin and why he was living at Lang Downs now, he thought he might hit someone.
“The curse of small towns,” he muttered as they paid for their meal.
“I don’t know,” Sam said, following Jeremy out of the restaurant. “People know you here. If you were in trouble, you’d have help.”