by Ariel Tachna
Sam still wasn’t convinced, but arguing with Jeremy was like trying to hold on to smoke. He’d just have to guard his heart so that when the six months were up and Jeremy changed his mind, it wouldn’t hurt too much.
“Jeremy?”
Jeremy straightened up. “Yes, I’m here,” he called back.
Chris and Jesse came in a moment later, wiped their feet on the mat by the doorway, and pulled off their boots. A beautiful brown kelpie with bright blue eyes came bounding in after them, right up to Jeremy.
“Hi, Arrow,” Jeremy said, scratching the dog’s ears. “Did you have a good day?”
“He was a lot of help,” Jesse said. “Thanks for letting us borrow him.”
“You’re welcome,” Jeremy replied. “Sam, have you met Arrow yet?”
“No,” Sam said, holding out his hand to the dog.
“Go on, boy,” Jeremy said. “Go say hi to Sam.”
The dog padded across the room and sniffed at Sam’s hand before plopping down at his feet and leaning his muzzle against Sam’s leg. Sam smiled as he scratched behind Arrow’s ears the way he’d seen Jeremy do. “He’s beautiful.”
“I’ve had him since he was a pup,” Jeremy said. “I trained him myself.”
“And very well,” Jesse added.
“You want a beer?” Jeremy asked. “I owe you after what I drank at your place the other night.”
“I wouldn’t say no,” Jesse replied. “If we aren’t intruding.”
“Not at all,” Jeremy said. “Sam decided the bunkhouse was better than his brother’s guest room, so we’re just getting him settled in here. Nothing to intrude on. You sure you don’t want anything, Sam?”
“Fine, I’ll take one,” Sam said, relaxing now that Chris and Jesse were there. Jeremy wouldn’t push when other people were around, and Sam wouldn’t mind making a few more friends. If this was going to be home now, he needed to get to know as many of the year-rounders as possible.
Jeremy passed around the beers and then settled back in his chair. Chris and Jesse took one of the couches and started describing their day. Sam sat back and just listened. He didn’t really know any of the people or much about the jobs they had been sent out to do, but that didn’t matter. The easy camaraderie of sitting around at the end of a long day was more than enough for him. He’d learn. He’d meet the rest of the year-rounders, and Jeremy would teach him about the kinds of jobs the jackaroos did, and eventually he’d be able to join in instead of just listening.
“So what did you do today?” Chris asked Jeremy when he and Jesse were done with their tale.
“I taught Sam to ride,” Jeremy said.
“Impressive if you taught him in just one day,” Jesse replied.
“He taught me how to get on and off without breaking my neck and how to guide Titan around the paddock,” Sam corrected. “I wouldn’t want to go anywhere without a fence just yet.”
“On Titan, you’d be fine,” Chris assured him. “A few months ago, I’d never been on a horse either. I won’t claim to be an expert yet, but I ride well enough that they let me out of the valley now on a horse other than Titan.”
“He gets stuck with all the blow-ins?” Sam asked.
“I don’t know about all of them,” Chris said, “but I know Caine rode him when he first got here, and then I did, and now you are. He’s steady and reliable and not prone to antics. It makes him good for those of us who need a little extra patience.”
“And then there’s Ned,” Jesse said with a laugh. “Biggest son of a bitch on the station. The only person I’ve ever seen ride him is Macklin. When Macklin’s on his back, he’s as docile as Titan. When anyone else gets near him, he turns into a bloody wild brumby.”
“I’d better leave him to Macklin, then,” Sam said. “I could barely handle Titan. I don’t want to think about a horse only Macklin can handle.”
“I’d like to try riding him sometime,” Jeremy said. “If Macklin agrees, of course. I understand that he’s Macklin’s horse, but what good is he if no one else can ride him? I mean, Arrow’s my dog, and I like to think he works best for me, but he’ll go out with someone else if I send him.”
“I don’t know,” Jesse said. “I’m just telling you what I’ve seen. The year-rounders don’t try, and the new guys who did over the summer all ended up on their arses on the ground, even the ones who actually had some experience. I didn’t try. I’m not a glutton for punishment.”
“What did Macklin say about that?”
“He said if they were fool enough to try after being warned, it was their own damn fault for being idiots,” Jesse said. “He never tells anyone they aren’t allowed to ride Ned. He just warns them Ned doesn’t like anyone but him.”
The bell outside the canteen tolled, calling everyone to dinner. They tramped across the road to eat. The canteen seemed huge with fewer than half the number of bodies filling it as the day before. Sam filled his plate and joined Jeremy, Chris, and Jesse at one of the tables. A few minutes later, another group of men came in. Sam couldn’t help but notice they sat as far away from Jeremy as possible.
“Do they really hate you that much?”
“They don’t know me,” Jeremy said. “They hate Devlin, not that I really blame them, and they assume because he’s my brother, I must have been part of his schemes. They’re not hurting me. I’ve already made friends, and Macklin and Caine trust me enough to have me here. The rest is just icing on the cake.”
“It’s not right,” Sam insisted.
“No, it isn’t,” Jesse agreed, “but it’s not something we can fix just like that. It’s a matter of time and trust and them figuring out that Jeremy being here isn’t going to change anything.”
Seth and Jason came running into the canteen. “Chris, Jesse,” Seth called, “Patrick says we should come over to his place after dinner. Carley made dessert.”
“Are Sam and Jeremy included?” Chris asked.
“I don’t know,” Seth said. “Patrick didn’t say.”
“Yes, they’re included,” Jason piped up. “Dad always says it’s rude to invite some people and not others, so yes, they’re included.”
“Then we’d love to have some of Carley’s dessert,” Chris said.
“Cool,” Seth said. “Come on, Jase. Let’s get some dinner.”
“That’s how attitudes change,” Jeremy said with a smile. “One person at a time making a difference.”
Eleven
SAM SPENT the next day alone in the office. He’d seen Jeremy at breakfast, all kitted up in his Driza-Bone. He’d apologized for not being able to spend the day with Sam again, but Macklin needed him and Arrow. Sam had been disappointed, but what could he say? Jeremy had been hired to work the station, and Sam’s job was the books. The good news was that he’d finally found the station’s insurance policy. The bad news was how out of date it was. Caine wasn’t around to talk about it, though, so Sam set it aside for the next time Caine was free and went back to sorting papers.
The canteen was empty at lunch, even the kids on the station choosing to eat somewhere else, so Sam decided to take his sandwich back to the office with him. It was far too depressing to sit alone in the canteen.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
The booming voice startled Sam so much he nearly dropped his coffee. “I was going to take my lunch back to the office.”
The big aborigine humphed at that. “Come in here where it’s warm. Everyone deserves a break.”
Sam followed the other man obediently into the kitchen. It was considerably warmer there than in the canteen, and it smelled wonderful. “What’s for dinner? It smells fantastic.”
“Shepherd’s pie,” Kami said, “and no jokes about how appropriate that is. I’ve heard them all, and they’re still not funny.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Sam promised. “I love shepherd’s pie. My mum used to make it on cold days when we were kids.”
“It sticks to your ribs and warms you up when
it’s cold outside,” Kami agreed. “You look like you could use a little feeding up.”
Sam ran his hand self-consciously over his stomach. “This doesn’t need any help, thanks.”
Kami looked at him critically. “Somebody’s been lying to you, boyo, if they told you that. Your face is thin and your skin looks pinched. I’ve seen men look like that before, and it’s always because they aren’t eating right. You’ll get plenty of exercise around here. You eat proper, or you’re going to make yourself sick.”
“Not much exercise in sitting in an office all day,” Sam retorted.
“Maybe not, but you won’t stay in there forever. Caine will want to show you something, or Macklin will ask for an opinion on a project, and the next thing you know, you’ll be out there working right beside them, and that’s if your brother doesn’t drag you out first.”
“Why would they want to do that?” Sam asked.
“Because they can’t imagine anyone not loving this place as much as they do,” Kami replied. “And since they’re right about that far more than they’re wrong, they keep doing it.”
Sam couldn’t begin to imagine what input he could realistically give on anything that didn’t involve finances, but Kami seemed pretty convinced. “Jeremy did start teaching me to ride yesterday. Of course he ended up having to do something else today.”
“Ah, so that’s the way the wind blows, is it?” Kami asked. “Don’t let your brother’s opinion sour you on that boy. I’ve known him and his family since before he was born. He’s the best thing to ever come out of that station, unlike his nitwit brother.”
“I know Neil has his blind spots,” Sam said. “I do my best not to share them.”
“That’s good to hear,” Kami said. “I wasn’t sure he was going to make it when he found out about Caine and Macklin. Does he know about you and Jeremy?”
“There isn’t any ‘me and Jeremy’,” Sam insisted, flushing despite himself. “He’s been kind to me the past couple of days while Neil’s been off the station. That’s all.”
“Then why are you the color of one of my Thai peppers?” Kami demanded. “People don’t flush like that for no reason.”
“He was kind to me,” Sam insisted.
“And it’s been some time since anyone has been, is that it?” Kami asked. “You have the look about you.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Sam asked. “Just because I’m not oozing confidence out of every pore doesn’t make me abused or neglected or whatever everyone seems to think I am.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Kami agreed, “but I know a thing or two about it, having lived through it myself. I recognize the signs when I see them, and I see them all over you, in every self-deprecating comment and every defensive gesture. You’re safe here, Sam. No one is going to raise a hand or a voice to you. No one is going to tear you down for being who you are. I know you have no reason to trust it yet, but Lang Downs is a safe place. Michael Lang started taking in strays from the moment he founded this station seventy years ago. Macklin, your brother, me… we’re the latest in a long line of people who came here to lick our wounds and realized this was the Promised Land. Caine’s carried on his uncle’s tradition. Ask Chris if you don’t believe me. You and Jeremy are the newest, but you aren’t the first, and you won’t be the last. Not while Caine and Macklin run this station. So you can accept that now or you can keep fighting it and delay being happy that much longer.”
“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say Uncle Michael’s name,” Caine said as he walked into the kitchen. “No, I wasn’t eavesdropping. I figured I’d refill my coffee before I rode back out to where I left Macklin.”
“When you got here, he hadn’t been gone a year yet,” Kami explained, “and it’s considered disrespectful to speak the names of the dead before a year has passed. More than a year has passed. Go on, get out of here. Sam and I were talking.”
Caine smiled at Sam. “Now you know who really runs things around here. We all live in fear of Kami.”
“I can see why,” Sam ventured, Caine’s smile and Kami’s candor giving him courage.
“I’ll let you get back to your conversation,” Caine said. “Oh, any thoughts on that project we were discussing, Sam?”
“A couple,” Sam said, “and I found the insurance policy, which we should discuss too, when you have time.”
“I’ll tell Macklin I need to stay here in the office tomorrow,” Caine said. “We can talk then.”
“Thanks,” Sam said as Caine left.
“Blow-in,” Kami said with an affectionate shake of his head as he watched Caine head back outside. “He doesn’t act like it now, but he was as clueless as you are when he first got here, probably even a little more so because he’s a Yank. Don’t ever forget that when you start thinking you can’t fit in here. A little over twelve months ago, Caine arrived for the first time. Chris has only been here for about six months. It’s not how long you’ve been here. It’s how deeply you invest your heart in this place that matters.”
“So you’re saying if I stick around and give it a chance, I’ll fit in as well as Caine does?” Sam asked.
“You’ll find your own place to fit in,” Kami amended. “You just have to take what’s being offered.”
Sam thought of Jeremy’s offer from the day before, to be his friend until his divorce was finalized and then to perhaps be so much more. He couldn’t let himself hope, not so soon, but it wouldn’t be such a terrible thing to have a friend. It had been so long since he’d had someone for himself, not someone who was married to one of Alison’s friends and so was his “friend” by default, but someone who’d chosen to be his friend. “I better get back to work. I don’t want to be stuck in the office after dinner. I have things to do.”
Kami smiled. “Get out of here. You’re in my way anyway.”
Sam flinched before the affection in Kami’s tone penetrated his shock. Kami had spoken to Caine in exactly the same tone of voice. He smiled all the way back to the office, warmed by the fact that he’d apparently made another friend without even realizing it.
SAM JOINED Jeremy, Chris, and Jesse at dinner again. He’d expected Neil and Molly to be back already, but he didn’t see them in the canteen, so either they’d been delayed or they were eating in their own house. Sam had seen a kitchen there, even if he hadn’t seen either of them use it beyond preparing a cup of tea or storing bottles of beer.
“What’s got you all in a twist?” Jesse asked when Sam looked around the canteen for the fifth time.
“I’m just surprised Neil and Molly aren’t back yet,” Sam said. “He said they’d be back today. I can’t decide if I should worry or not.”
“It feels later than it is,” Jeremy reminded him. “It’s getting dark earlier with winter approaching. I wouldn’t worry yet.”
“Neil knows his way around the station,” Jesse assured him. “He won’t get lost, and he’ll know if he’s in over his head. If he is, he’ll find a drover’s hut and stay the night. He might take risks by himself, but he’s not going to risk a single hair on Molly’s pretty dark head.”
“That’s true,” Sam said. “He has a phone. He’d call if he got delayed.”
“I’m sure he would,” Jesse said. “You could see if Caine’s heard from him. He might call the boss first.”
“He’d have to,” Sam said. “I don’t have a phone. I couldn’t afford one when I didn’t have a job, and I don’t really need one working in the office out here.”
Jeremy frowned. “If you leave the valley, make sure you either take a radio or are with someone who has a phone. As careful as we all are, things happen, and you don’t ever want to be out there without a way of communicating back if there’s a problem.”
“Is it really that dangerous?”
“It can be,” Jeremy said. “It can also be so breathtakingly beautiful you can hardly believe it’s real.”
The sound of a car door slamming interrupted them. “I bet th
at’s Neil and Molly right now,” Jesse said. “You want to go check on them?”
“No, there’s no need,” Sam said, tensing despite himself in anticipation of Neil’s reaction when he saw who Sam was sitting with. “They’ll come in for dinner. I’ll see them then.”
Jeremy must have felt his tension because he leaned toward Sam and asked, “Do you want me to sit somewhere else?”
“No!” Sam exclaimed, though he kept his voice low. “You’ve been kind to me. I’m not ashamed to be your friend. I’m just not looking forward to Neil’s reaction.”
“I don’t want to make problems for you,” Jeremy said.
“Neil’s the one with the problem if he can’t see that you aren’t your brother,” Sam insisted. “I just know what he’s like when it comes to making him admit he’s the one with the problem.”
Neil strode into the canteen with that same confident air Sam had noticed in the other year-rounders, although perhaps less in Chris and Jesse. Some of the others called out greetings that Neil answered absently as he looked around. When his gaze settled on Sam, and Neil realized who else was with him, his expression tightened, and he stalked toward their table.
Sam sighed. He’d hoped to avoid this in public, but Neil didn’t seem to care about the spectacle he was making of himself, and Molly wasn’t there yet to stop him.
“What are you doing?” Neil asked Sam.
“Having dinner,” Sam replied, reminding himself he wasn’t dependent on Neil’s generosity anymore. He had a place here independent of his brother. “That is what typically happens in a canteen at this hour of the day, isn’t it?”
“Don’t be a drongo,” Neil said. “That’s not what I meant. Why are you eating dinner with him?”
“I’m eating dinner with my friends,” Sam said, “because they invited me to join them, and I saw no reason to say no.”
Neil looked like he’d eaten something unpleasant, but before he could say anything else, Molly walked up to his side and put a hand on his arm. “Neil, leave Sam alone. He’s an adult and can sit wherever he wants. We’ll see him at the house after dinner.”