by Naomi Niles
Nic went back to sweeping the back room, and I sat down at the counter feeling more miserable than before. I knew what I wanted to do when I got home—I wanted to make a quick dinner and then barricade myself in my room and work on my book until midnight.
But I also knew what would actually happen because it had happened so many times before. I would come home to find Dad lying in bed reminiscing about the past. He would stroke my cheek and warn me to live every day to the fullest because I didn’t know when I was going to die. And I would nod along and pretend to be inspired even though I had heard all this before, and I’d hold in my tears until I returned to my room. And then I would cry into my pillow because not only was he dying, but his mind was dying, and I hated seeing him like this, and I hated that there was no one else to support me and look after me. And for the thousandth time, I would fall asleep with my arms wrapped around a stuffed penguin, wishing someone else’s arms were wrapped around me.
Chapter Eleven
Darren
I awoke on Monday morning to a call from my mom.
“Hey, Mom, what’s up?” Slowly, I got out of bed and went over to the window. Yellow-golden spring sunlight shone down on the evergreens and azaleas that lined the front yard. A middle-aged woman in yoga pants jogged briskly past, leading a pug on a leash. Across the street, a couple kids were playing in the stone fountain that stood in the center of the park.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” said Mama slowly. “And that you weren’t dead or in jail.”
“Mama, you ought to know me better’n that,” I said with a smile. “How many times have I been to jail in my life?” I held up two fingers, although she couldn’t see them. “Twice. I have only been to jail twice!”
“I know, but your dad explained to me what drag racing is, and I’ve been really worried about you all weekend. You weren’t answering your texts yesterday, and I thought maybe you had been hurt. Then this morning I saw on the news that there’d been a police chase and that they had apprehended one of the drivers.”
“Not me, though. Me and my friend were smart enough to get away.”
“Well, it sounds like it was a close thing. Sometimes I wish you’d find yourself a girl who could help you settle down. You’re almost twenty-two years old. It’s time you started thinking about raising a family and taking care of a woman. You can’t keep putting your life in danger once you’ve got kids to look after.”
A man and woman in matching athletic shorts were jogging up the street together. The man turned to wave at me; I smiled back at him. “Mama, I promise I’ll quit racing once I’ve got kids of my own.”
“You’d better,” she said. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”
“You didn’t even ask me how much money I won.”
“Did you win the race? I hadn’t heard anything about cash prizes.”
“There was a very substantial cash prize. That’s the whole reason I was competing.”
“Well, how much did you make?”
“Forty thousand dollars,” I said proudly.
“Well, that’s great—especially for one weekend. I just wish you wouldn’t have to risk your neck to make it.”
“Mom, I was never in any danger. I know how to put on a seatbelt and helmet. And if it makes you feel any better, I’ll come over for breakfast tomorrow morning.”
“Would you? That would be great.”
By the time we got off the phone, I could tell Mom was proud of me, though she didn’t want to say so for fear of encouraging me in my bad habits. Throwing on my work uniform and heading into the kitchen, I poured myself a glass of orange juice and fried up the last of the hash browns from the bag in the fridge. Over those, I sprinkled shredded cheese and some Cajun seasoning from a spice rack she had given me for my last birthday.
The hash browns were delicious but not particularly filling. On my way to work that morning, I picked up another box of donuts for me and Dickie. I found him in the garage hunched under the hood of the Mustang.
“What’s wrong with the car?” I asked him, setting the box down on the counter.
“Just making a few adjustments, is all.” He held up a small socket wrench that was covered in black tar. “It was making an odd rattling noise when I started it this morning, so I wanted to make sure it was still working properly.”
“Penny was tearing up the road on our way through Dallas the other day, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some damage to the lining. I don’t understand why she refuses to race; I’ve never seen anybody drive that fast.”
“Maybe she doesn’t want to get arrested,” Dickie suggested.
“That is undoubtedly why she was running from the police. But at least we managed to get away before they caught us.”
Dickie turned and flung the wrench onto the counter, where it landed with a loud clatter. He looked irritated, and I could tell he was barely paying attention. “Adam came in here this morning wanting to see you,” he said in an annoyed voice. “I told him I wasn’t expecting you in until later.”
“Oh, yeah? What did he want?”
“Nothing good, if you ask me. He’s still furious that you won the race and he’s determined to take you down a peg.”
“Oh, yeah?” I swung my legs over the counter and sat down in the large swivel chair. “How’s he expectin’ to do that?”
“He, for some reason, thinks it would be a good idea for you to wager your cars. Whoever wins the next race gets to keep their opponent’s car.”
I was so surprised that for a moment I didn’t react. Then, once the initial shock had passed, I burst out laughing. “I mean, why not? I’ve beaten him before; I can do it again.”
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” said Dickie, clutching at his stomach. “We’ve invested too much time and money and effort into that car for Adam to be parading around in it. If he won, he would never let you forget it.”
“Anyway, I brought you some breakfast. It’s over there on the counter. I think I’m gonna run over to the auto parts store and look around for a bit.”
Dickie jerked his head up and studied me quizzically. “Any particular reason?”
It should have been clear from the frozen expression on my face that I hadn’t thought of a reason. “I mean, I guess if you need me here…”
“No, no, now I’m curious,” he said with a shrewd look. “Were you just going to stroll the aisles? No plan or agenda?”
“Yeah. Like I said, I don’t need to go.” I tossed off my hat and threw it down on the counter, adding in a quiet voice, “I’ll just stay here.”
Chapter Twelve
Penny
The air-conditioning went out that night, and when I called the repairman, he said he wouldn’t be able to come to the house until early the following day. I opened the window in Dad’s room and dragged the oscillating fan out of the closet. There were a few plastic bottles of ice-cold water in the fridge; I gave him half and took the other half to my room.
I put on a pair of shorts and a green tank top and spent a few hours in bed with my laptop, working on my book. I had just reached the part where the handsome airplane pilot takes the plain but kindhearted young nurse out on their first date when I decided to stop for the night. I would probably spend the entire next day at work outlining their date in my head, trying to get every detail perfect. Of course, I had never been on an actual date myself, so I would have to ask Nic what they were like. I hoped her answer wouldn’t be too horribly inappropriate.
I awoke the next morning to find my dad knocking at my door. Throwing a blanket around me, I ran to open it.
“Dad, why are you up and running around?” I demanded. “You’re supposed to wait for me to come and help you.”
“I’m actually not feeling too bad today.” He ran the back of his hand over his sweaty forehead. “In fact, I think I would like to get out of the house for a bit if you’ll come with me.”
“Dad, this is a terrible idea. What would Margo say?”
&nb
sp; “She didn’t have a problem with it. She examined me over breakfast and said I could go out if I wanted to. Having the window open last night got me to thinking. I don’t think it’s good for me to stay pent up in this house all the time. I think I could heal more quickly if I was able to taste the cool air and feel the warm sun on my face.”
“That sounds great, Dad, but you don’t have a doctor’s permission for this. And I don’t like the thought of you wandering around Dallas or wherever by yourself while I’m at work.”
“Don’t you hear what I’m saying?” Dad replied with a hint of frustration. “I wouldn’t be going alone. You and Nic would be there.”
“So you expect us to just take the day off work? And where are you planning on taking us, exactly?”
From the gleam of delight on his face, it was clear he had been waiting for this very question. “To the Blue Hole in Round Rock, of course. To go bungee-jumping!”
“What?!”
Just then, Nic strode into the room wearing her blue work uniform and visor cap. “Is everything alright?” she asked.
“We’re fine,” I said. “Dad just has this ridiculous idea that we ought to take the day off and go bungee-jumping.”
Nic took the suggestion in stride. “Well, I mean, why not? He is our boss, and if he says we can take the day off, then I don’t see why we wouldn’t. Besides, I haven’t gone bungee-jumping since last summer, and I need to get back in the habit.” She did a high-kick for effect.
“And he wants to come with us.”
“Well, if his nurse thinks it’s alright, then we ought to let him. Think about how you’ll feel in two years if, for some reason, you aren’t able to go anywhere with your dad anymore. Don’t you think you’re going to regret going to work when he offered you the day off?”
It was an oddly delicate way to reference the possibility of Dad’s death. “I guess when you put it that way…”
“Anyway,” said Nic, “I don’t care if you go. I’m changing out of these work clothes, and him and I are going.” She was already pulling off her shirt by the time she reached the door. “And we’ll have a nice lunch while we’re out, maybe with some cake for dessert! If you don’t come, you’ll just be sitting there at the counter all by your lonesome!”
“I won’t be alone!” I called after her. “Adam will probably be there annoying me!”
“Suit yourself!” She turned the corner and vanished, leaving me and Dad alone in the room together.
“Well, it looks like you’ve managed to get what you wanted,” I said, though I was never very good at pretending to be mad. Outside, it was an exasperatingly beautiful and sunny day, as if even the weather was conspiring in his plan to get us out of work.
“Why do you like to work so much?” Dad asked with a smile.
I shrugged. “I don’t know; I’m a workaholic. I guess I get it from you.”
“Your mom was the same way. She was just finishing up her Ph.D. when she died. If she had lived, she’d have been a great professor. I was never cut out for being anything more than a high school teacher. I really married up when I married her.”
“If she had lived, maybe I wouldn’t have ended up working part-time at an auto parts store.”
I hadn’t meant it in a mean way, but that was how he took it. Crossing his arms over his chest, Dad said, “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to give you the life you could’ve had.”
“It’s okay.” I knelt down beside him and stroked his arm. “I’m just glad to be alive, at all. From what I’ve heard, it was a close call.”
“It was. I thought I had lost both of you. You were in the incubator for five days, and the doctors tried to tell me you weren’t going to make it. But you were a fighter.”
“I must have gotten that from you.” I leaned my head against his shoulder and went on stroking his back. We went on sitting there together quietly for a few minutes until I got up and ushered him out of my room so I could get dressed.
***
We ate brunch at the Old Monk Pub in downtown Dallas. I ordered a monk burger with caramelized onions, bacon, and Welsh rarebit, while Nic got a vegetarian burger made with lentils, leeks, corn, and mushrooms. (Dad ordered the same, though I don’t think he was as excited about it.)
While we were eating, I told them about the book I was currently writing.
“So it’s set in the 1930s, and it’s the story of this guy and girl who meet and fall in love. The guy is a handsome daredevil pilot who’s flown all over the world and becomes famous. And the girl, her name is Maureen, is just this nobody from Brooklyn. But they meet, and the first time they’re together they go out flying. And what he doesn’t know is that she’s actually an ace pilot, and when she ends up having to fly the plane after he has a major panic attack, she’s able to land it perfectly. But the whole premise is that she can’t understand why this internationally famous rock-star pilot is in love with a girl from the sticks.”
“Sort of like a Cinderella story,” said Nic, stealing a fry from my plate. “Amazing.”
“I guess so. I hadn’t really thought of it that way.”
“And are the guy and the girl supposed to represent anyone in particular?” She raised her eyebrows suggestively.
“What? No?” I thought I knew what she was getting at, but she couldn’t come out and say it in front of Dad because I hadn’t told him about Darren yet. “It’s about a guy and a girl fighting Hitler.”
“I figured that. But sometimes real life has a way of creeping into our stories even when we don’t notice.”
By now, Dad was staring back and forth at both of us in alarm. “Y’all lost me,” he said, raising his hands in surrender.
I glared discreetly at Nic. “I just think sometimes a guy and a girl can flirt and fall in love and try to kill Hitler without there being any deeper message. It’s just a dumb story is all.”
“Don’t say that about your own book,” said Nic. “Everything you’ve written is quality because you put your whole self into it.”
“Thank you for saying that. I got to a really intense part in the story last night, and I had to quit because I was getting tears all over the keyboard. They don’t pay me enough for this.”
“They don’t pay you at all,” Dad pointed out.
“I know. And they really should.”
By midafternoon, we had reached the Blue Hole in Round Rock. Nestled in the woods, there stood a large clearing with a cliff about fifty feet high rising up over a lake. Although it was spring break, we found the site blessedly empty. A smoldering campfire containing the remains of a chunky stew suggested that the clearing had only recently been vacated.
“Man, being out here almost makes me want to go skinny-dipping again,” said Nic as she stared down into the placid blue waters.
I threw her a reproachful look and motioned at Dad with my eyes. Nic shrugged. “I’m not saying I would actually do it. Maybe I’ll come back sometime when I’m better prepared, but if I do, you’re coming with me!”
“No-o-o-o-o way!” I exclaimed with a shudder. “No way are you getting me in that water naked. The only people who get to see me naked are my stuffed animals.”
“You know that’ll change if you get married someday, right?”
“Yeah, and I’m not going skinny-dipping with him, either.” When Nic rolled her eyes, I added, “You can think I’m a prude if you want, but I did agree to go bungee-jumping with you. A prude would never do that.”
“I think you might be confused as to what the word prude means,” said Nic. “I’ve gone bungee-jumping with Mennonites.”
“Are the two of you going to argue the entire trip?” asked Dad, clutching at his head in despair. “Y’all are giving me a headache.”
Given his precarious condition, this wasn’t the best news. I came over and knelt down beside him. “It might be the weather. Do you feel like you’re about to throw up?”
“I maybe shouldn’t have been in the car for so long. My stomach feels queas
y, and the world seems to be spinning. Do y’all feel that?”
“No, the world feels pretty stable,” said Nic. “I think maybe we ought to get you indoors where it’s cool.”
Dad winced, and embarrassment shone on his face. I knew he hated having to be taken care of about as much as he hated ruining our plans, but I cared about his health a lot more than I did about his feelings. “I think maybe it’s too hot for us to be out here right now.” I held up my arms, already sticky with sweat. “We’ve only been out here a few minutes, and I feel like I’m dying. I can only imagine how you must be feeling.”
“Please don’t cancel your plans on account of me.”
“They were your plans, and we’re not canceling them; we’re just postponing until a more opportune time,” said Nic.
She looked to me for support, and I nodded in agreement. “What Nic said. We’ll come back at a more… Coppertone time. Now let’s get you in the van before we all drown in our own sweat.”
Chapter Thirteen
Darren
On Wednesday, I finally got my chance to visit the auto parts store.
On my way to work that morning, I decided to take the car for a test run. I had just woken up from a dream in which I was cruising through the streets of East L.A. in the Mustang. Penny’s dad, for some reason, was in the passenger’s seat. Part of the city had just been destroyed by a nuclear bomb, and now a blanket of radioactive waste lay over it. We were being chased by a couple of two-headed guys driving a red Corvette. One of them was carrying a Super Soaker that sprayed toxic goo. He was leaning out the side of the car, fangs bared, with his gun pointed at us. I pressed down on the accelerator and left him in a cloud of exhaust.
It was a bit of a shock to wake up and discover that the Swedes hadn’t nuked us and that L.A. didn’t lie in ruins. I lay there in bed for a few minutes remembering the feel of the clutch in my hand. I hadn’t taken the car out for several days, not since Penny and I had narrowly eluded the police. It was time.