by Naomi Niles
“No problem. I am on my way.”
“Thank you.”
I hung up the phone just as the stream of water began to thicken as it dripped down the wall. The apartment complex, for the most part, was pretty well kept. It was a bit on the cheap side because I was unsure of my income before I moved in, but for now, it had to do. At least until my lease was up. I parked myself on the couch and waited for Harrison to show up. About 15 minutes later, there was a knock at the door. I looked through the peephole to make sure it was him. “Hey, Harrison. I’m glad you could come out here.”
He walked inside of my apartment with a small toolbox. “No problem at all. I wasn’t doing anything,” he said as he looked towards the ceiling. He pointed, “Is that it right there?”
“Yup. That’s it. I don’t know how it started, either. I just noticed it before I called you over, so I don’t know how long it has been there.”
He grabbed a chair from the dining room. “May I?”
“Sure. Knock yourself out. However, if you fall, don’t expect to get any money if you sue. This is all at your own risk.”
He laughed as he positioned himself on the chair. “I can manage.” I watched him as he reached towards the corner of the ceiling and felt around the hole. I thought it was sexy how he could come over and fix things whenever I needed him. It added to his attraction. I stole glimpses of his physique as he stood high on the chair. “OK. This is nothing major. Here,” he pointed to the toolbox, “can you grab that little white tube out of there and hand it to me? Please?”
I sifted through his tools until I found what he was looking for, then handed it to him. He squeezed some white putty into the hole and then used a small, spoonlike object to smooth it over. He tapped it with his finger and examined it one more time before he climbed down from the chair. “That’s it. That will hold you over for at least a few weeks. They may have to redo this whole ceiling, though. I imagine that if there was a hole here, another one could pop up any time now.”
“That’s just what I needed to hear.” I exhaled and ran my fingers through my hair. “I knew this place was cheap, but I didn’t expect to get holes in my ceiling within the first month of living here.”
“How long is your lease?”
“Six months. I got it for as long as I thought it would take for me to move out to California.”
“Right.” He slowly grabbed the chair and placed it back into its position alongside the dining room table. I could tell something was wrong with him after I spoke. If we were on the same page, he might have been considering my lease. As of right now, I was still on the fence about whether I should move or not, but my relationship with Harrison complicated the move more than I expected.
“What’s wrong?”
“Um.” He looked away as if he was hesitant to speak.
I stepped closer to him. “Go ahead, Harrison. Tell me what it is.”
“The move,” he said finally. “I was just thinking about your move coming up a little while down the line. Are you still set on going?”
“As of right now, I am. I mean, things could change, but I just don’t know. A lot could change, actually. I guess I am just waiting for some confirmation, one way or the other before I make that decision.”
“What kind of confirmation?”
I walked away from him and took a seat on the couch. I didn’t know that our talk would come like this, but I guessed that it was as good a time as any. “I just want to know where we are headed. I mean, I like you, Harrison. A lot. We have gotten through one of the roughest times in our lives together, and it has been a lot of ups and downs, but I’m comfortable with you. I just don’t want to put my all into something and not know if it will be returned, you know?”
He smiled, then took a seat next to me on the couch. “I understand. I feel the same way. I’ll be honest though; I am afraid of commitment.” As soon as he said those words, I wanted to cry. I guess I had hoped that eventually, we would be together, but it felt like that was just a dream. I braced myself for what he was about to tell me next. “Well, that was before I met you.” He completely changed my train of thought. “After I met you, all of that fear went away. I knew it meant something, especially when I found myself turning women down for you.”
“Turning women down? When was this?”
“At the hotel when you went out with Meghan. A young woman at the bar started flirting with me. Now, normally, I would have taken the bait, but this time, I didn’t. After I had finished my drink, I left the card she gave me on the counter and went back to my room to wait for you to return. Like I said, that kind of behavior is unheard of for me, but now, it just feels natural. It seems right. Knowing that I want to take us as far as we can go. I love you, Caroline. A lot. This is not something that I want temporarily. This is something that I want long-term.”
Tears formed at the bottom of my eyes, and suddenly, I lunged for him and knocked him backward onto the couch. It felt like he just proposed to me, but his words were strong enough to clear the uncertainty from my mind. It was all I needed to hear to let me know that I wasn’t the only one thinking that between us. It was a load off my shoulders. I kissed him on the cheek, then slowly moved to his lips as we sat on the couch. “You don’t know how much it means for me to hear you say that. It is such a relief. I know things felt right between us, but everything that feels right does not mean that it is right, you know?”
“Yes. I know that all too well.”
We sat in the front room talking a little while longer before he decided to head home. “Yeah, it probably is a good thing that you leave. We both have to be up tomorrow for work.”
“How about you take the day off?”
“The day off? Why?”
“You deserve it. You have been working tirelessly ever since you got hired and you have done an excellent job. Take the day off.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am positive. The only thing I require is a dinner date. If we can do that, then everything is square between us.”
“Well…” I closed the gap between us as we stood by the door. “I guess that will be alright.”
“You guess?”
I smiled, then kissed him on the lips. His hand had roamed my body before I brought it to a halt. “No, no, see… that is going to lead to other things, and it is already 11 pm. Besides, we just got another contract, so I know you need to be at work to help get the plans situated. So, let’s save this moment for later. When we both have time to really explore each other the way we want to.”
He mirrored my expression. “Good call, Caroline.” He kissed my lips one last time. “I guess I will see you at dinner?”
“Yes, you will.”
I watched him walk to his car and kept my eye on him until he drove out of the parking lot. It was great that we finally got on the same page with each other. After weeks of worrying, I could finally put that to rest. I grabbed the remote and flopped down on the couch, glancing at the hole that he had fixed a few hours ago. It looked as good as new, but I still wanted to move out of this complex. That was already the third thing that had to be repaired since I moved in, so I knew there would be more before it was all said and done.
Just then, I got another text. I smiled, thinking it was from Harrison, but when I saw Johnathan’s name, all I could do was shake my head. “Are you busy?”
“What is it, Johnathan? I have nothing to say to you.”
Moments later, he called. I didn’t want to answer the phone, but for some reason, I picked up the call. “What is it?”
“Listen.” He took a deep breath. “I just want to apologize for all the things I said to you a while ago. And also, I want to apologize for what I spread at ASU. I was just hurt by everything, and all I wanted you to do was be up-front with me. When you didn’t, I took things too far. I am sorry. I know that won’t make up for everything, but I just wanted you to know that. I did what I could to clear up the rumors, and unfortunately, some people didn’t believe me. But for th
e most part, your name is pretty clear. Again, I am sorry.”
I felt the sincerity in his voice, and it brought the compassionate side out of me. “I am sorry too, Johnathan. I should have told you in the beginning instead of leading you on the way I did, so as much as I was mad at you, I knew a part of it was my fault, too. So, will you forgive me as well?”
“Absolutely.” There was a pause of silence between us before he spoke again. “Well, that was all I wanted. So, you um, you enjoy the rest of your night, alright?”
“Alright. You as well.”
I hung up the phone with a smile on my face. I guessed that was just more confirmation that I was headed in the right direction with Harrison.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Harrison
I opened the door to find Caroline standing on the other side. She wore sweats and a T-shirt. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail. Even though she was dressed down, she still managed to look more alluring each time I saw her. I leaned down and gave her a kiss as she stepped inside. “It smells good in here. Steak?”
I closed the door behind her. “Filet Mignon. I’m not much of a chef, but I learned a few things throughout my lifetime. Medium rare, right?”
“Yes. There is no other way.”
I smiled and led her into the front room. “Make yourself at home. I will be in the kitchen finishing up our meal.”
“OK.”
I left her to herself as I walked back into the kitchen. The steaks sizzled on the skillet as I seasoned them to perfection. I was happy with the way things were going between us. I didn’t like her living in that apartment just as much as she didn’t like it, but I felt it was too soon to ask her to move in with me. That definitely would not be taking things slow, so I used a little discretion before I jumped the gun. Fifteen minutes had passed before I heard the doorbell ring. I had just finished the steaks, and I slid them onto our plates. “Caroline, would you mind grabbing that for me?”
“No problem.”
Just as I put our food on the table, Caroline stepped into the kitchen with a befuddled look. “Um,” she said, cautiously, “there is a woman here to see you. She said that she is… she is Sarah’s mom.”
I exhaled, then tossed one of the dish towels onto the table. “I can’t believe this shit.” I stormed past Caroline and headed straight to the front door. She stood on the other side with another expensive, designer purse on her arm. I stepped outside and closed the door behind me. “What the fuck did I tell you, Susan? Stay the fuck away from my home!”
“Who was that, Harrison?”
“None of your damned business! What is wrong with you? Why do you keep coming back here?!”
“Because we have unfinished business.”
“I don’t have any business with you.”
She grabbed a pack of cigarettes from her purse and lit the end of a stick. The inhaled the smoke as the embers glowed in front of me. In a cloud, she blew the smoke from her mouth. It had fluttered in the air before it disappeared. “I want to give us another shot.”
I laughed out loud in disbelief. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. Is this a joke? Please tell me this is a fucking joke! You… no way. No. I refuse to believe you are serious.”
“I’ve just been thinking about things, Harrison, and I know we were right for each other, it was just the wrong time. I mean, I was young. We were both young, so what did you expect? For things to be perfect?”
“No, but I didn’t expect you to vanish like a fucking ghost and leave me alone to raise our daughter.”
“Our daughter,” she said, smiling as she looked to the side. It seemed as though she was recollecting memories of Sarah. I wanted to snatch them out of her head with my bare hands. She fixed her attention back on me. “Do you have any pictures of her or anything? I would love to see how she looked.”
“Then maybe you should have brought your ass around before now. Listen, I don’t know why I am even wasting my time talking to you. You came back over here to start over, and now you are talking about MY daughter? Seriously. You need to go.”
“Wait,” she said, reaching for me as I stepped into the house.
I jerked my arm away from her. “No! I know I have told you before, but if you bring your ass around here one more time, I will call the police and report you as a trespasser. If that doesn’t get through to you, then I have a Mossberg that does not have a problem speaking to intruders when I can’t seem to find the words to say to them. Get the fuck off my property, Susan.”
I slammed the door in her face and walked back into the kitchen. Caroline nervously sat at the table as I charged into the room. I grabbed the skillet off the stove and threw it into the sink. It clanged into the dirty dishes and broke a plate before it settled down at the bottom of the sink. I pressed my hands against the edge, gripping onto it like it was Susan’s throat. Before long, Caroline approached me from behind. I felt her hand on my back before she spoke. “Harrison?”
I quickly turned around. “She has some FUCKING nerve! After all these years. All these years!? Sarah is fucking dead, and she wants to come back now?! I should’ve killed her right there! I should’ve strangled her right there on the porch! I guarantee you there is not a judge or jury that would’ve convicted me!” I was steaming and through it all, Caroline remained silent. She scooted closer to me and placed her hand on my stomach. I cried tears of anger as she tried to calm me down. “This is fucking ridiculous! You know what?” I stepped away from her and marched back to the front door, hoping she was still there.
Caroline trailed behind me, but when I opened the door, she was gone. “Don’t fucking come back!” I yelled. My voice had echoed throughout the neighborhood moments before I slammed the door shut.
“Baby,” Caroline said softly, “so that was her? Wow. I mean, Sarah told me so little about her. She said that she hated her for leaving, but at one point, she still wanted to see her because she never got the chance. It is kind of eerie that I got to see her mother and she never did. She looked just like Sarah though. Just a much older version.”
“Fuck her,” I said as I walked briskly back to the kitchen. Caroline followed me as she had been doing the whole time. “Fuck her. Fuck everything about her. Everything!” I said, slamming my fist into the table. Caroline sat beside me, staring off into the distance as I spewed out hateful words towards Susan. Before long, I simmered down and focused on Caroline. “I’m sorry, babe,” I said, reaching my hand to hers. “I’m sorry. I just kind of lost it when she came here. This was the second time, and I thought she would get the picture the first time I told her to leave, but she didn’t. I’m sorry you had to see that, and I am sorry for scaring you if I did.”
“No,” she said with a glazed look in her eyes, “you don’t have to apologize. I mean, I found myself getting angry at her just listening to you. I can’t imagine what I would’ve done if one of my parents just decided to walk out of my life because they wanted to. I needed both of them growing up and that… that just wasn’t fair to Sarah. She deserved a mother and a father.”
“Yeah,” I said with a deep sigh. “Yeah, she did. I did the best I could do as her father and–”
“And you did a fucking great job, Harrison. You did better than great. You raised Sarah alone, got her through college and provided for her by starting a million-dollar business. You have done a great fucking job. Nothing else.”
I appreciated her. She was always there to calm me down, and she was proving to be the perfect balance to my life. “Thank you, Caroline. Truly. I don’t know where I would be without you right now. I think I would be a complete mess, especially with what happened to Sarah. I would be a complete mess.”
“Well, I would have, too. Sarah was the only family that I had, and when she left, I thought my world was going to fall apart. I mean, it did to some extent, but for the most part, you were there to help me put the pieces back together. We were there for each other.”
I focused on her. A few strands of ha
ir were out of place and dangled over her forehead. Her soft eyes looked back at me, patiently waiting for me to say anything else about us, but I couldn’t. There weren’t any words that could explain what she meant to me or how she made me feel. I looked down at my plate of food. “So, I guess we should probably eat now.”
She smiled. “Yes, I agree. I can’t wait to taste what my chef came up with.”
We dug into our meal. When we finished, we walked to the front room and crashed on the couch. “That was amazing, Harrison. Are you sure you aren’t a chef? Seriously?”
I laughed. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Caroline. However, I appreciate it.”
She kissed me on the cheek, then nestled onto my shoulder. “You know, I was thinking about something I promised you a while ago that I never got to do.”
“What?”
“Helping you clean out Sarah’s room. Did you take care of that already?”
“Um, no, I didn’t. I just um… I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. But, I will one of these days. It’s nothing big.”
She laughed. “I remember a time when I was sleeping over with Sarah in her room. I think we were like 15 or 16 years old and you came into the room with a small T-shirt on. I know you probably don’t remember, but I do. Anyways, I was staring at you the whole time Sarah was talking to you, and I was just thinking how sexy you were back then. I was just like, ‘Oh my God, why is this old man so cute?’ So, when you left the room, Sarah turned around and asked me why I didn’t say anything to you when you said goodnight. I just told her that I didn’t notice that you said anything because I was too busy undressing you with my eyes.”
I laughed out loud as she continued. “She was so mad at me that night, but she had to understand because all the girls in our school had googly eyes when they looked at you. You were like… I don’t know; you looked better than most of the boys in our school. It seems crazy that I ended up with you down the road, you know? Like, if I contacted some of the girls I went to school with and told them that we were seeing each other, I wonder what they would think?”